Twenty Questions

"Why can’t we fly? 

What do colors taste like? 

Where do babies come from? 

If I bite my nails, will a hand grow in my stomach? 

Why do we poop? 

Does water bounce? 

Can dogs look up? 

What would you do for a Klondike bar? 

Am I a dot?  Or am I a speck? 

When I’m underwater, do I get wet?  Or does the water get me instead? 

Did the computer invent itself? 

Where have all the flowers gone? 

Who framed Roger Rabbit? 

Where’s the beef? 

Does this look infected? 

Is there pinball in Heaven? 

Could Captain Kirk beat Han Solo in a bar fight? 

Are you now, or have you ever been …"

(Now *I* have a question: Where's the nearest orphanage?)

I donna know, Donna B.

Comments

  1. Can God create a rock that He can’t move? ;)

  2. Donsie_Lass says:

    I love the riff on Particle Man.

  3. DaytimeDeb says:

    Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

  4. No, Captian Kirk could NEVER beat Han Solo in a bar fight. NEVER I TELLS YOU!!!!!

  5. sandy eye capsule!

  6. Nice They Might Be Giants reference! Of course, now I’m going to have that song stuck in my head all day.

  7. Ask your Father when he gets home.

  8. If you put a giant panda in the washing machine, and it shrinks, does it become a baby giant panda? And if you put an baby giant panda in the washing machine and it stretches, does it become a giant baby giant panda? And if we have giant pandas, there must be pygmy and regular sized pandas too – how come we never hear about them? Huh? Mom? Mom? Huh? Mom? Are we there yet? Is dinner ready? Can I go to the bathroom?

  9. Vampy — true, because Han would shoot first, and Shatner would never pass up a chance to chew the death-scenery.

  10. Oh, and why I’m here, how come acid doesn’t dissolve the container it’s in?

  11. Does this beach make me look fat?

  12. Why do birds, fall out of the sky,
    Every time, Tippi walks by?

  13. Do your dance, do your dance,
    Do your dance quick
    Maaaaama come on baby tell me
    What’s the word?

  14. and for the love of Dog, Mother, HOW MANY ARE GOING TO SAINT IVES???

  15. Know what that last question made me think of?

    “Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?”
    “What’s that got to do with anything?”
    “Back off, man. I’m a scientist.”

  16. I’ll answer one of my own questions: If there’s no pinball, then it isn’t Heaven.

  17. bees on pie says:

    They have a fight. Triangle wins. Triangle man.

  18. (OK I might be having just a smidge too much fun here. And this is me BEFORE caffeine.)

  19. Theo………WORD UP………..and a baby seal?……………I need some more coffee.

  20. Y’know, Particle Man is still one of my fave songs evar…coincidentally, it’s the ringtone on my cellphone too.

    Super brownie points for that on this fine morning…

    …oh, the sandy eye-capsules are a bonus too! Love ‘em!

  21. Cavemen or astronauts, who would win? (No weapons allowed)
    Kirk vs. Han Solo: Depends if Kirk can kiss Han. He does have the kiss of death, you know ;)

  22. I give my seal of approval!

  23. do you know my kids? they sound just like this… and I make that same face!

  24. Word up, Theo.

    I agree. Han has always and will always shoot first…no matter what revisionist history George Lucas tries to peddle.

  25. OW!

  26. I am told that this is what i was like as a child. So in theory I was cute because i was annoying and wouldn’t shut up.

    oh and my question was always:
    “if i stick this far up enough my nose can i poke my brain?”

  27. The REAL question is….

    Who wins? Mr. Spock or Luke Skywalker?

  28. Luke, duh. Vulcan Nerve Pinch vs. Lightsaber? You’re not even trying.

  29. Molymoly–great Angel reference!

    God I love this site.

  30. Ya know, Luke has other powers beyond the lightsaber. :)

  31. Elisha B. says:

    Yes, but who can stare down the other one better? Mr. Spock of course, cause he can raise one eyebrow!!

    Seriously, not competition between Wars and Trek. They both rule!!

    As to the seals,….must have squeeeeeeeee!

  32. Blorp-diddly-blorp-blorp,
    Blorp-blorp!

  33. Vampy — uhhh, voice of experience there?
    Actually, I don’t need to know.

  34. Capt' Tightpants says:

    I agree with everyone: Han Solo would kick Kirk’s freakin’ buttocks.

    “Who came up with Person Man? Degraded Man… person man…”

    MolyMoly: Whence the cavemen vs. astronauts scenario? I ask because I was playing Taboo with my friends, and when I had to make them guess “Astronaut”, and posed the question: “Who would win in a fight: Cavemen OR….” NONE OF THEM GOT IT! I felt completely deflated.

    I know it from Angel, and am now cracking up in my office at school just thinking about it.

  35. lol particle man. that’s funny because i was just watching that tiny toons music video the other day.

  36. Kiss from a rose?

  37. ….nobody knows, Particle Man.

    Great TMBG reference!!
    Judging from the comments there is some correlation between people who love TMBG and Cute Overload, i.e. people who are awesome and have great taste in teh rock and teh cute!

  38. Are you gonna vote for the right guy on Tuesday?

  39. It is actually a cute overload.

  40. Capt. Tightpants- the deflation came from the phenomenon known as “THUD”. When you have said something very (clever, funny, cogent, pithy,obscure-for-this-crowd-but-you-didn’t realize-it-before-you -said-it, you name it, and no one gets it and the there is to you an audible ‘thud’ in the conversation. Actually it is more palpable than audible. Oh, God, I hate that.
    You will rebound, and if what you write here is any indication, you have since. But it is memorable and last in one’s memory for a long time. We just aren’t used to it. I feel you pain. I wish you no more “THUDs” ever. But you will be kind to others when it happens to them. Eric Burden and the Animals said it best, “I’m just a soul whose intentions are good, Oh, Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood”.

  41. Answer to mouse-over: Nebraska.

  42. I can just see this…

    “But Moooooooooom……!”

  43. biscuithead says:

    Dogs can’t look up!
    Big Al says so.

    /Thanks for the “Shaun of the Dead” reference.

  44. TMBG came to my college when I was there!! And now all I can hear is the do do do DOO musical part of Particle Man. No earworm THERE.

    I would answer all of cute sealio’s questions, if only he lets me snuggle with him.

  45. Capt' Tightpants says:

    Thank you katrina, and yes: there was a distinct (and silent) “thud”, followed immediately by the group going (audible), “Qua?”

    I explained, to no avail. I apparently discovered that while we share many things, an obsessive love of all things Whedon may not be one of them. But my BF totally gets it. All I have to say to him is “It’s not about what I want!” and he cracks up, reminded of Angel’s exasperation with Spike.

    PS: I love you guys.

  46. Shiba Inu puppy action- Momma’s in the house and puppies are sqeeeeeeing!
    Those puppies are huge now!

  47. ThreeCatNight says:

    Now THIS should be the promo spot for “ASK.COM”.
    Every time I see their strange commercials,I want to ask:
    “Why is a fat English lady draped over my back?”
    “Why would my thoughts have a Cockney accent?”
    “Why would a small Indian gentleman be in bed with me and my husband?”
    “Who thought up this brilliant ad campaign?”
    “Why don’t I press the ‘Mute’ button?”

  48. BeckyMonster says:

    Person Man, Person Man
    Hit on the head with a frying pan
    Lives his life in a garbage can
    Person Man

    How do I get this for a ringtone on MY phone!?!?!?!?!??!

  49. “Hi, I need two tickets to Nebraska and, uh, one coming back.”

  50. Could there be a funnier list of questions?

  51. don’t kid yourself

    that’s a happy mom

  52. Capt’Tightpants- explaining only makes it worse. Square back your shoulders and know that you WERE funny, cogent,etc.) but well, it just didn’t work with this crowd. “Grace under pressure”, as I tell my kids.

    I have another question from the baby to the Momma, “Do you love me?”

  53. Becky, it depends on the type of phone you have. I made mine on my laptop from the original song, and uploaded it to the memory card for my phone. I’m sure you can download it too, though, if you’re not too technically inclined…

  54. That’s it. The next animal I adopt is getting named Universe Man.

  55. Why, Capt’n Tightpants, of course Cavemen vs. Astronauts is from Angel.
    I’ve just discovered the Angel comics and I have found a new guilty pleasure. Besides watching the Buffy musical episode and driving the husbands nuts because of it.
    *Lookit me, I’m dancin’ crazy!*

    [Fixed that for ya... - Ed.]

  56. AuntieMame says:

    Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie,
    A fly can’t bird, but a bird can fly.
    Ask me a riddle and I reply
    Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie.

    Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie,
    Why does a chicken? I don’t know why.
    Ask me a riddle and I reply
    Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie.

    Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie,
    A fish can’t whistle and neither can I.
    Ask me a riddle and I reply
    Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie.

    — A. A. Milne

  57. Ooo! Is that the song where Universe Man has a watch with a minute hand, a millenium hand and an eon hand? I’m not super well-versed in TMBG, but God that used to make me laugh.

  58. @crackjob: … and when they meet, it’s a happy land. Yep, that’s the song. :-)

  59. Han Solo would have his a$$ handed to him by Kirk, because he would be so much more drunk…but then Chewie would break Kirk’s neck and eat the whole crew of the Enterprise that came to help him. A fun thought!

  60. Nobody knows – Particle Man!

    Agreed, stuck in my head for at least the rest of today. Oy.

  61. punkinberry says:

    I’ve been listening to “Flood” (the album that “Particle Man” is on) every morning for a couple of weeks now. I am immune to the earworm, mwa ha ha ha!

    P.S. (Sapphire bullets, bullets of pure love!)

  62. Molymoly — this is *my* verse, hel-LO?

  63. Answer: Han Solo could beat Captain Kirk, a small bundle of twigs, and YOUR DADDY! Oh yeah!! lol

  64. Theo….silly man. I’m talking about those Jedi powers…you know… “You don’t need to see his identification” and random acts of strangulation without actually touching the person (a la Darth Vadar)

  65. Dr. Emile Schufhausen says:

    @Erebella: I’ll see you your “Back off, man, I’m a scientist” and raise you one “What did you do, Ray?”

    And this TMBG lovefest reminds me of a universal truth: everyone wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads.

  66. You know, the sun is a mass of incandescent gas.

  67. I’m lovin’ the TMBG reference… One of my favorite bands!! Cute sea lion too though… hehe!

  68. BeckyMonster says:

    Even old New York
    Was once New Amsterdam
    Why’d they change it?
    I can’t say
    PEOPLE JUST LIKED IT BETTER THAT WAAAAAAAAY!

    TMBG is making me so happy today!

  69. Hot.
    Cha.
    Where are you?
    Everybody’s eyes are closed.

  70. TMBG FTW!!!!!

  71. HomestarRunner/TMBG crossover:
    http://www.homestarrunner.com/expfilm.html

  72. And let’s not forget the excellent . . .

    minimum waaaaaaage!

    [HYAHHH! - Ed.]

  73. . . . and a rock to wind a piece of string around.

  74. All this is nobody’s business but the Turks.

  75. WickedWendy says:

    Han will always win!!!

  76. particle seal, particle seal…

  77. momof2kitties says:

    Istanbooooooooooolllllllll!!!!!!!!!

  78. “I couldn’t help it……..it just popped in there.”

    “Okay, so, she’s a dog.”

    “Do you want this body?”
    “Is this a trick question?”

    “Igon, your mucus.”

    Yay Ghostbusters! I could go all day!

  79. AuntieMame says:

    Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!

  80. TMBG is playing here! in D.C.! in four weeks! At the 930 club! Be there or be uncute! Wear your Orange Line costume!

  81. *squee!*

    Da bebe sea lions are da bestest!!

    I recognize this shot as it is similar to the eleventy billion and one shots that I took while in the Galapagos last year! Heee!

  82. Yall are so funny. I love the little tooth on the seal pup!

  83. “Am I a dot? Or am I a speck?

    When I’m underwater, do I get wet? Or does the water get me instead?”
    TMBG refrence… just when I thought I couldnt love CO any MORE… you do this to me :D

  84. BeckyMonster says:

    A man came up to me and said “I’d like to change your mind”
    “By hitting it with a rock”, he said
    “Though I am not unkind”

  85. Mary (the first) says:

    Ok. I have to confess. I have no idea what TMBG is. (a band, apparently.) Does that stand for something? The .. Most Bloody Guts or some such thing?? augh.

  86. It’s like you met my 6 year-old! This is my son with flippers!

  87. Capt' Tightpants says:

    Theo – I think your lines are mostly filler.

    [sigh... Tara really could sing, y'know; damn shame Willow couldn't - Ed.]

    PPS: I LOVE you guys!

  88. Capt' Tightpants says:

    First Mary: They Might Be Giants.

  89. Capt' Tightpants says:

    I once sang “Constantinople” at karaoke, and someone came up to me to say they never thought anyone could say the world “Constantinople” so many times so fast.

    Um, I didn’t invent the song, but I thought the comment was awesome.

    Plus: History nerd here, hence favorite song.

  90. Unfortunately (or not), every time I hear the word “Istanbul,” my brain immediately spins off into “Istanbul not Constantinople.”
    That was a cover, you know– the original was recorded by The Four Lads in 1953. ;)

  91. Melissa H. says:

    Universe Man, Universe Man.
    Size of the entire universe, man.
    Usually kind to smaller man.
    Universe Man.

  92. Kidz, I haz dem. This wins truf award!

  93. Capt' Tightpants says:

    And what’s with all the carrots?
    Why do they need such good eyesight for anyway?

    ok, I will stop now.

    PPS: Theo: It’s also a gigantic nuclear furnace.

  94. NO, Kirk could NOT beat Han Solo in a fight. No frakking way. Don’t EVEN get me started.

  95. Awwww, it’s a classic mom-nom.

  96. bubbletoes says:

    Nice They Might Be Giants lyrics :)

  97. Gotta love SEAL!

  98. How do I love thee, Cute Overload? Let me count the ways…

    …noooo it’s impossibuhls! But referencing Particle Man just added one more way, or reason! Seal kisses to y’all!

  99. Nooooooo! Now I’m singing Istanbul (not Constantinople!)!!! Oh well, there are worse songs…

  100. Auntiemame – that’s a reference that I get!

  101. They might be goats!

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