You Sons of Beaches!

OH-BOY-OH-BOY-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-YUP-YUP-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-OH-BOY-OH-BOY-ARE-WE-THERE-YET-HUH-IS-THIS-THE-BEACH-YET-HUH-IS-IT-HUH?

My tongue's fine--it's my face that's pointing the wrong direction.

By the way, what’s a "beach"?  I hope it’s not that place with all of the …

Uh-oh ...

WATER!!!!!!  NOOO!!!  I don’t wanna go in the water!!!  Water is EVIL!!!  It’s full of monsters with sucky tentacles, and giant fish with big bitey teeth, and they all go to the bathroom in there!!!

I'm too CUTE to die!

Are you trying to KILL ME?!  If this is about the stain on the carpet, it wasn’t my fault!  Can’t you at least have the decency to tie me in a sack, you cold-hearted murderer?!  I’ll get you for this if it’s the last thing I do!

Actually, THIS is shaping up to be the last thing I do...

Can’t … breathe! … Caught … in … tentacle! … Pulling … me … down! …  Must … escape … !

Must ... impersonate ... Shatner ...

Humph!  I’m never talking to either of you again, you … you … doggie killers, you!  And from now on, I’ll do whatever I want on the carpet, and you can fetch your own damn slippers!

Now take me home.  It's time for my bath.

Found on the aptly-named SomethingAwful.com by drowner-inner "Non Applicable"

Comments

  1. Cute or mad?

  2. Heeheeheehee awwwwww.

  3. The best face is in picture two. Sorry lil guy, I would not take you to the beach.

  4. Dad’s shorts/shirt combination is, interesting.

    That cuddle with Mom once he’s safe into the car is cute.

  5. Biscuitz4Bearz says:

    If Pugsley were to drink a bit of the salt water, well then…that’s built-in revenge right there.

  6. I think it’s more that the water is like 58 degrees unless you’re here in Fl or soemwhere tropical. I mean, Mom’s wearing a fleece – let’s see her jump in!

  7. Poor thing…

  8. Water’s fun little guy!! Love the hovertext on picture #1!

  9. Not really cute at all. The poor pug obviously wanted nothing to do with the water. Let him/her go in when s/he is ready; don’t force it.

  10. Poor Baby!

    He will get you for that…

    When you least expect it…

  11. Pbbllt. Very cute – little puppers came out comepletely safe and sound, even if his eyes had to bug out an extra half a centimeter for a bit.

  12. Capt' Tightpants says:

    Like Napoleon steaming into Russia:

    “I’m going to kill them, going to kill them! Oh it’s a bit cold, it’s a bit cold!! Right! Bad idea!”

  13. Most Pugs are scared of the water because they CAN’T SWIM!! Not kidding, they sink like rocks after a brief struggle.

  14. You make me laugh so much! xoxo

  15. Not Cute – Dog is obviously very frightened, but owner forces it into the water, probably just to post pictures on this site.

  16. LususNaturae says:

    @Capt’ Tightpants- LOL!!! Not only an Eddie Izzard reference, but your screen name references one of my favorite shows- Firefly!

    NTMTOM, another brilliant post!!!

  17. Aahahahahaha my frenchie makes the same face when he ges in water. He cannot swim, either, so we got him a doggy lifejacket.

  18. Catsquatch says:

    ROFLMAO!!!!

    The captioning was PERFECT!!!

    LOL!

  19. The dog is fine and the pictures are cute. my two criteria are met, ergo, it’s a good post.

  20. Welp, I’ll get out the pudding scrapers and mops…

    Raincoats anyone?

  21. AuntieMame says:

    Relax, people. Pupper is on the leash. He’s not going to drown. In the photo where he’s in the water, he looks curious and calm. I’m sure he was fine.

  22. In the photo where he’s in the water, he looks curious and calm.

    Are you blind? His tail is down, his ears are back, and his eyes are opened very wide. Typical “not happy” pug pose. Looks like what he wanted was to get out of the water as fast as possible.

    Not exactly impressed over here by pictures of people forcing their dogs to do things they obviously don’t want to.

  23. He looks like he’s going “gemme outta heeeeeeere!” when he’s in the water. But I think it’s funny anyway. Because I’m cruel and heartless.

  24. P.S. Mum’s not wearing a fleece, she’s wearing cord.

  25. Come on guys, the dog is walking, not swiming, and the guy didn’t get his shorts wet, so he couldn’t have taken him out to far. I had a dog the same way as a kid, dad put him in the water, the dog ran out, said something like, ” Oh, I’m alive, and that wasn’t so bad, and the kids are in that stuff, maybe I’ll try it again.” After that, we had trouble keeping him OUT of the water.

  26. When I saw the title I immediately thought of Tim Stack. I love how he keeps wearing his lifeguard outfit on “Earl.”

    BTW, I love how the pup won’t even look at Dad in the car. We’re a little miffed still I think.

  27. crazyivan says:

    D’awwww… Poor pups! ::runs over to give the pug a hug!::

  28. Poor puggie. I wouldn’t have forced him into the water. That’s my attempt at a nuff.

  29. PS Shouldn’t that “oh oh” be a “ruh roh”?

  30. Funniest! Thing! Ever!!

    Wish I could take my cat to the beach!!!

    Sigh…

  31. Cute puppy, but it’s not having fun.

  32. Super cute!!

    Momma is super cute too. ;)

  33. that second to last picture is fantastic — can someone zoom in on those eyes? That dog could not get out of that water fast enough!

  34. I’m just gonna say, my pugs would FLIP OUT in joy from all that water.

  35. Not to funny. Why force him? He’ll never like it that way. I KNOW they didn’t hurt him, but still.

    You know what IS funny? Eddie Izzard references!

  36. Our first dog couldn’t swim. But when he fell in and you tried to get him back out he’d bite. Stoopy dog.

  37. LMAO Best post ever! XD

  38. I love the ‘DO NOT WANT!’ pose in pic 3.

  39. platedlizard says:

    Awww, my old dog, Foxy, LOVED the ocean. To the point that when we were driving to the beach and we saw the ocean out the window she would go ballistic, and we’d have to pull over and let her go nuts in the water for a half hour before we could continue on to our destination.

    She learned pretty quickly not to drink the water, though. First time at the beach she drank some, and then made us ALL regret it. She never tried again after that, although she would drink lake/river water. She knew the difference!

  40. Hahaha awww complete inversion of the usual dog affinity to water… Perhaps there was a cat born somewhere that they can’t keep out of the water dish/fishbowl/backyard pond etc.

  41. Michelle S says:

    Awww. Hilarious capshons, NTMTOM!

  42. momof2kitties says:

    Hey Fegli? That cat you’re referring to? That would be my George. He’s psychotic about water. He makes a mess splashing in his water dish, he stores his favorite mousie toy in the bottom of said dish, he will ONLY drink from a running tap (can you say spoiled?) and he loves to chase ice cubes across the hardwood floors. He’s even loves to play in a sink that has 3 or 4 inches of water in it. He’s part otter, I swear.

  43. momof2kitties says:

    HE even, not “He’s even”…

    sheesh. need sleep.

  44. berthaservant says:

    I’m pretending that on a previous day, pug was very happy to play in the water because it was warmer, so the peeps set out to have a fun day, but then doggeh got nervous because it was cold, and they tried to encourage him and he sort of relented and afterwards they all had cocoa.

    That way, Tom’s story makes perfect sense and the photos don’t look like people forcing a dog into the ocean. Which they kinda do.

  45. CoffeeCup says:

    Here’s a story…when I was a kid, I had a fascination with sea life (I actually still do) and I wanted to be a marine biologist. But I didn’t like being in the water itself, and didn’t like swimming. Something about the instructors throwing you into the pool and making you splash about wildly before they would come in and calmly tell you how to not die, you know, just didn’t do it for me. So now as an adult, I’m perfectly okay if I go to the pool or the beach, but I take care to avoid situations in which I might be reminded that I am a terrible swimmer.

    The point of the story is that I turned out to be a well-rounded individual who learned that my feet are better off on the ground more than they are in the ocean. Pup is FINE. He’s tiny, and the ocean is massive. How many of us, while standing on the shore of an ocean, don’t feel daunted or miniscule? Imagine what the pup feels…maybe little Jacques Cousteau there is just in awe.

    And the fourth pic is slightly misleading in just how deep the water is. Pup’s dad is knee deep in water, but judging from how the foam is near the dog, I’d say the photo was taken as a wave was on it’s way in.

    Oh and I think the pup’s name is Harry. I tried to take a look at the tag in pic one.

  46. I have a puggle at home that has that same reaction to the water everytime we go walking around the lake.

  47. Not Cool!

  48. scooterpants says:

    ah. look have offended he is in the last photo, “Mommy save me from the mean man”.
    I hope he never looks at ya again.
    If I were the female there I would have kicked balled-headed guys butt right in the drink for that.
    Boo-Hiss.
    Pick on someone your own size ya Bully!

  49. Not fun for doggy and so not cute to me.

  50. jettstream says:

    Awful pictures. Don’t you know pugs can’t swim? Many are terrified by open water. Wonder how all those who found this cute would react if it were a human child being dragged into the water….

  51. OMG do you see in the first picture!??! They made that dog sit on the FLOOR! What if she would have STEPPED ON HIM!? This is SO uncool and uncute!! Whinewhinewhinewhine!!

    There’s nothing funnier than seeing all the grumpy fussing over picures of a puppy at the beach. Isn’t there, like, a war n’ stuff going on? ;-)

  52. Stephanie C. says:

    Please. Before people get their pantaloons in a royal twist they need to remember the fact that these photos don’t tell the whole story of the beach trip.

    Maybe Prince Pug-enstein didn’t like swimming and decided to splash around in the shallows? Maybe they were trying to introduce something new to H.R. Pugnstuf. We don’t know.

    The pup is still alive, albeit a little wet (and there’s a fluffy towel to rectify that).

    I vote cute, not cruel.

  53. Stephanie C. says:

    @jettstream

    Actually, some pugs can swim, some pugs can’t. My cousin’s pug can, and it looks like this one can, too.

  54. lurkingsmirk says:

    Methinks mom and dad thought pupster might enjoy the beach, I get a sense of “try it — you’ll like it” — and then saw that pupster really didn’t so they went home. As for switching the pug with a kid — many parents would put their kids in the water and the kid would discover that wading does not equal drowning. I can’t imagine what it would be like if parents backed off every time a kid was scared of something perfectly safe.

  55. Ahhh, I must be cruel and heartless too because I have done that to a dog before. He was FINE. I think about how when I was a kid at the pool, I was hesitant to hop in too, and scared, but once someone (most likely a parent) finally forced me to try it (against my will!), and I got used to it, I spent basically the better part of my next 18 years at the pool too. I may not have been happy about it, but I’m glad I didn’t miss out because I was too scared to try.

    The dog we forced into the water a few summers ago LOVES to go in the water now. He just needed some initial coaxing.

  56. Someone mentioned that pugs can’t swim? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen more than one swimming pug video on YouTube. Sure, they aren’t *built* for swimming (or much of anything other than making that cute snorkeling sound) but I think they can swim like most dogs, just not as well.

  57. I have 3 Pugs, and have a fried with two pugs and a swimming pool. She can’t keep them out, they LOVE to swim, they jump in and swim to the steps. But when my pugs go over to play they won’t go near the pool. I’ve even gone in holding them and they are terrified after the first few times I quit making them go in, now they like to run around the pool and bark at their friends while they swim. Some Pugs can swim and some are too afraid to try.

  58. Ah hem.. that would be friend not fried. Sorry.

  59. Definitely not cruel. I do this to my dog in the summer to cool him down. He hates the water, but even as a fat sausage-y bichon, he still swims just fine. He sloshes back to me at top speed and then glares at me from the dock for the rest of the afternoon.

  60. My great-aunt’s pug can swim, and love chasing giant oversized balls into the lake. However, when it came to the ocean, he wanted nothing to do with it. It was probably the salty scent or something.

    And those crying ‘body language of fear’, that’s actually the swimming stance. Ears back, and head up so water doesn’t get into them. He may not have enjoyed it, but I doubt it was traumatizing.

  61. LOL @ a pug in a “swimming stance”

    googly eyes ftw!

  62. marsheeeee says:

    I think the dialog is brilliant, and the pictures are cute. The pup might have been scared, but I can remember my nephew’s first time in the water as a baby, and he was not too sure of the shifting sand and moving water himself, and those pictures are adorable. There’s always a first time. As someone said, he was on a leash in shallow water, so he was, as far as we can tell from the pictures, safe. It’s not like they threw him in to fend for himself or anything.

  63. marsheeeee says:

    The DOG was on a leash, not my baby nephew. Wanted to clear that up.

  64. I saw the first pic, and thought that was IT for the post. It was funny by itself. The rest, funny too….. but had a feeling there would be nuffers about this.
    I have no comment other than I don’t think the dog was traumatized, and I am 99% sure that is Lake Michigan – Chicago, specifically (I’m very familiar with it) not the ocean.

  65. shinystuff says:

    The best narrative ever!!!

  66. Lake Michigan has a beach?

  67. Gail (the first one) says:

    @Rooanne: If that’s Lake Michigan, I don’t blame the little pugster—it’s cold!!!!

    This reminds me of a trip to the ocean with my friend’s Cairn—barky little dog was barking at and chasing the waves!!!

  68. warrior rabbit says:

    “I can’t imagine what it would be like if parents backed off every time a kid was scared of something perfectly safe.
    lurkingsmirk”

    My brother would never have eaten ice cream. Which he loves. Seriously, they had to fight him tooth and nail.

  69. I raise pugs…my momma pug LOVES to swim. She’ll fetch anything you throw out there. Also, my dearly departed Philbert (RIP baby) also loved to swim. So take that, nay-sayers

  70. Looved the pictures and the comments.. hilarious.. he will get used to the water.. most doggies to, i tis a bit daunting at first…

  71. That’s lake Michigan?

    No wonder the pup’s scared. He’s probably heard the * stories * about the monster in the water.

  72. Hey, I’m the guy in the pictures.

    Here’s the backstory:
    We live in Virginia where water temperatures were in the 70s when the pictures were taken.

    The dog’s name is Sparky. Any time she is outdoors, she is on a harness.

    Once we got to the beach, she refused to touch the sand. She was utterly terrified of it. She was fine on the boardwalk but once her paws crunched down she tried to run away.

    I had to carry her down to the beach.

    I put her down at the waterfront hoping she’d see the water and run in. She loves baths and splashing around in the tub so I figured she’d run right in. I pulled on the leash some trying to coax her in since she didnt seem to want to go. After that, I carried her in to about a foot deep of water and set her down. At that point, she started to paddle towards shore while my girlfriend snapped pictures.

    Anyway, Sparky was touching the water for a grand total of about 30 seconds. I put her in at just where she would have to doggy paddle (which she does just fine, thank you. Sparky is offended that you think she can’t swim) and she wanted nothing to do with it so we left to hang out on the boardwalk. As soon as we got away from the dreaded beach, she was happily running around barking at passing cars.

    Yes, my clothes mismatched horribly that day. Guilty.

  73. berthaservant says:

    Badger, you are the cruellest dog owner ever!!!

    Are you telling us you named a female dog SPARKY????

  74. warrior rabbit says:

    Badger, thanks for the backstory! Sparky is very cute. Too bad she didn’t love the beach — doesn’t she know Virginia is for lovers? Hee. Take some pictures of Sparky happily splashing in the tub sometime — we’d love to see them.

  75. Stephanie C. says:

    @warrior rabbit

    Haven’t you heard? Virginia, it seems, is NOT for lovers.

    http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=188635&title=pfriend-or-pfoe

  76. NOT cute, very sad.

  77. CoffeeCup says:

    Heeey, I live in Virginia. Judging from bodies of water available in Virginia, that’s either Smith Mountain Lake, Pohick Bay (which I believe, like the Potomac, is less suited for swimming) or Virginia Beach/Norfolk. Which is it?! Or am I totally wrong.

  78. Oceanview beach in Norfolk

  79. Badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger…

    Sorry, couldn’t help myself! :o)

    Sparky McPuggersons did NOT like the ocean! Back to smaller bodies of water for her!!!

    The first time I took my dog to water was in Southern MD, where I went to college. He looked at the water and took this HUGE leap STRAIGHT IN up to his shoulders and half a second later he came flying out like, “WHAT in the HECKSTAINS are you TRYING to DO to ME?” It was hilarious and no harm done.

  80. AuntieMame says:

    Badger, don’t worry about the nuffers. Some people will find something to get their undies in a bundle over in any situation. Sparky’s a doll.

  81. …heckstains?

  82. Google it, Theo! I’m making it the word of the day!

    WOOOOWOOOOWOOOOOWOOOOO!!!!!

  83. I had a pug and he hated the water. I had a very similar experience.

  84. lynn Berkeley says:

    Yuck, this really lacks cuteness. Pugs hate getting wet. Forcing it into the ocean is not really fun to watch.

  85. lynn Berkeley, I’m pretty sure that’s not for you to decide.

  86. @ warrior rabbit – Similarly, I HATED chocolate as a child too. Took me forever to get used to it. Of course, now it’s an addiction. :)

    Nuffers – calm yourselves. The pug was not drowning, it was not deep water, pugglet is FINE. Lots of dogs, including pugs, swim.

  87. Heckstains is a great word. I’m using that. I’ll give credit every time I do.

  88. Uh, lynn berkeley, did you not read what the pug’s OWNER just said about her?

    I’m pretty sure they’d know better than you what their dog likes and doesn’t like.

  89. I don’t know why people think that poor dog was being tortured. I have a Pug, he sinks like a rock and is terrified of water–but I didn’t think anyone was torturing the dog in the photo nor that the dog was in any danger. Pugs get overheated easily too so I can picture myself dunking the dog like that ona hot day!

  90. Looks just like my pug did the first time I took him to the beach. Now we go every Sat. morning and he loves to chase the other dogs in the water.

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