For Sale: Condo in Up and Coming Elm Tree

Real Estate speculator/Sender-Inner Ann W. told us about this great little open house:

“Oh, I didn’t see you there.  Just tidying up before the open house starts at 2PM.”

S2

“You look like a discerning buyer and is today your lucky day!  Having taken out a zero-down, interest-only, jumbo balloon mortgage to fund this party pad (Burrow Savings & Loan *assured* me I was qualified), I’ve coincidentally decided to move to my country den in the Appalachians and let go of this beauty.  Please come in…”

S1

SML Listing Details:

  • 0.5 sq ft studio condo in trendy suburban neighborhood.
  • Hardwood floors, walls & ceilings!
  • Full climate-controlled nut cellar [does not come with nuts].
  • Entrance zoned for Flying Squirrel take off and landing.
  • Includes one month old nest bed from Design Within Reach.

Priced to move before the onset of Winter!
(Photo by DJCandiDout on DeviantArt)

Comments

  1. and what are the neighbors like?

  2. Hey hey, look who’s writing!

  3. Baden's Mom says:

    OOoooh, Trendy? We usually prefer historical or even quirky… This might not be the home for us. Other than that, we would totally buy today.

  4. 260Oakley says:

    No, it’s not an open house, it’s a trunk show.

  5. I’ll take it!!!

  6. Only downside: no windows.

  7. I heard Sugarbush Squirrel is the realtor on this one…

  8. Too good to be true. Obviously copy/pasted from other craigslist postings. I call Nigerian scam.

  9. You forget “sun-drenched, and eat-in kitchen”

    /bitter NYC renter.

  10. eikoleigh says:

    cute!!!

  11. OMG! How cute is that! I’ll take it :)

  12. momof2kitties says:

    Yes, but is there a yard for the kids to play in?

  13. Should also throw in “organic architecture which harmoniously integrate the building with its surroundings: the building literally ‘grows’ out of the site; healthy, conserving, perfectly in sync with the rhythm of nature…”

  14. You’d have to be NUTS to live in THAT neighborhood!

  15. David — you’ve done this before, haven’t you?

  16. Well, hallo, Sparky! You share Other Mike’s penchant for storytelling. Schweet.

  17. Yay!

    I’m glad these are up! Took me 3 days to coax the squirrel out! How did I do it? I finally turned on the flash and he came out to investigate. SO CUTE!

    Want this as your wallpaper? Go here: http://fc67.deviantart.com/fs37/f/2008/275/0/4/Squirrel_VS_Elm_by_DJCandiDout.jpg

  18. warrior rabbit says:

    SML? Or MLS?

    If it weren’t in a high-rise… I hate walk-ups!

  19. @Theo – not really:) But like many New Yorkers, I’m all too familiar with tiny dwellings, real-estate speak, and the totally misnamed Design Within Reach. I’m actually a huge fan of organic architecture, just visited Frank Llyod Wright’s Fallingwater and Kentuck Knob houses in PA a week ago.

  20. Ms.McPantiesInABunchnuff says:

    I bet this has one of those neat toilet/pantry combo units! :D

  21. warrior rabbit says:

    Also, no one’s noted the proximity to Wassamatta U.

  22. metsakins says:

    My son lived in a similar place on the upper eastside. it was a walk up.

  23. I once had a *studio* apartment in back of the Dakota which was not much bigger than this condo unit….

  24. Yes, THAT Dakota.

  25. (the original) Mel says:

    Sqerl sez: “Don’t touch mah nutz!”

  26. @mberkie0 – I just moved out of a basement studio on 74th near CPW. This little guy has more sunlight than I did.

  27. johnnyjohnny says:

    Full climate-controlled nut cellar

    Uh . . . I call those ‘underpants.’

  28. Stepsaver kitchen! Don’t forget that!
    :D

    Little skwerly is BEF kyoot!

  29. You forgot: “Decks galore”

  30. Bank of America says:

    Yes, we may be interested in relocating our offices there. Do you require the security deposit up front?

  31. I agree with Babs! I thought this was NTMTOM at first because of the story, but what a pleasant surprise to find a new poster!

    Good luck selling squirrel-y, you’ll need it.

  32. Well done Sparky, well done.

  33. johnnyjohnny just cracked my sh** UP. **SNORT**

  34. hard wood floors–lol

  35. The cost??

  36. @Laura K. “and what are the neighbors like?” A bit skwerely. (Duh!)

    @Erebella “Only downside: no windows.” Not true… there’s one big one. It doubles as a front door. (How convenient!)

    @warrior rabbit “SML? Or MLS?” Oh most definitely SML: Skwerls Multiple Listing.

  37. Saski — rent controlled. (they can only store so many acorns)

  38. The large clan of squirrels that live and play just off my balcony keep me sane, I think. I love the little crazy one that plays by himself, wrestling with twigs and leaves. Then there is Half-tail and Big Momma. The Screamer who cries wolf if the wind blows the wrong way.

    Saski – If you have to ask…….

  39. The best part is “.5 square feet.”

    HEEEEE!

  40. Owls need not apply.

    @jonny jonny LOL, permission to use your amuse.

  41. Sorry johnnyjohnny.

  42. @David: Bec. *studio* was on the north side of 73 St. I had southern exposure and lots of sun, but had to keep the shutters closed bec sun was too hot! Must tell you this was a LONG time ago, but then I’m older than dirt.

  43. ThreeCatNight says:

    Didn’t I see this on “Craigslist”? Oh well, it’s still a steal, if you can manage in tight spaces!

  44. The little crimped ear in the top picture just kills me. It does seem he has outgrown his living space…

  45. Silly squirrel forgot to list its best selling point:
    Completely designed and constructed with organic and green-friendly materials, perfect for the environmentally-conscious professionals of today.

  46. Is snow removal included? What do the condo fees include?
    I love his expression. Do come in, won’t you?

  47. test

    [Fail... - Ed.]

  48. tracyFlick says:

    The older chipmunks say they can remember when the neighborhood was chipmunk-only. Mean chipmunks.

  49. Sparkster? Just whooooo is zzzziiiiss Spaaa-r-k-ster- what do we know about ziss Spaaa-r-k-ster, where does ziszzzz Spaaa-r-k-ster come from, and what are Spaaa-r-k-ster’s intentions towards us? Hmmm? Vee vant to knnoooooww…..does Spaaa-r-k-ster like ‘Tocktoberrrr?

  50. warrior rabbit says:

    Katrina, Sparky is Meg’s husbun.

  51. Oh! Never mind.

  52. Gail (the first one) says:

    Great job, Sparky!!!!

    @mberkie0: Totally impressed that you lived in the Dakota!!!!!!!

    The description and the comments are great!!!

    I actually had a sqwerel fambly whose address was the ceiling between my 1st and 2nd floors. The entrance was a conveniently located hole above the bay window. Of course it was rent-free, so they couldn’t complain about anything like snow removal.

    Took me forever to evict them and finally had to have professional relocators step in and send them on their merry way.

  53. Hi-dee-ho, there, Gail (the first one)! I didn’t live IN the Dakota on W. 72 St., I lived BEHIND it, on W. 73 St. and could see in the windows of the Rich and Not-So-Famous. My entire apartment would have fit in the Small Guest Room in any of the Dakota apartments.

  54. Who is Sparkster? Is C.O. hiring?

    psnicejobcute

  55. warrior rabbit says:

    berthaservant, scroll up for answer

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