Not Tonight, Honey…

"I have a headache and I’m tired and I have to get up early and I’m not in the mood and I’m still upset about that time in 1993 when I asked you if those Capri pants made me look fat and you had to think about it before answering ‘no.’  So I am now activating the Wifely Force Field of Solitude — BZZZT! — and you can go sleep on the couch."

Uh, hudey?  Goth my thongue stuckth to the forcth field, here.

Jeez, Tatyana S., what’d I say?

Comments

  1. lolwut

  2. (the original) Mel says:

    May the WFFS be with you.

  3. Awww…I have the same bed for my kitty, though he would never be caught dead sleeping on it. *sigh*

  4. haha, gender stereotype jokes! in the relationships, women, they don’t want the sex, but the men, they, haha, they want the sex! yes! these jokes, they are not going stale!

    Do these pants make me look fat?
    Do these pants make me look fat?

    Haha! Ah, jesus.

  5. haha, highly sarcastic posts! people, they take things far too seriously, haha, they make posts on cuteoverload! yes, these posts, they are not going stale!

    Does this post make me look petty?
    Does this post make me look petty?

    Haha! Ah, xenu.

  6. He-Pug looks like he has very baaaaaad things on his mind.

  7. Isncee/Nina — these dups, they are not going stale! (make up your mind)

  8. balamuthia says:

    My goodness, the nuffers have gotten sophisticated on us- things are turning mean and the vibe is getting distressing. What could account for all this hostility…this madness??

    *pins back to the wall*

  9. So it’s one of those ice-cold triple-dog-dare-you force fields, then.

  10. (except… where’s the third dog?)

  11. Nina — I think you mean comments…? Meg and Mike, they make posts. (and sometimes me)

  12. azaleablue says:

    Love the 90-degree tongue curl! Is that a dominant or recessive gene trait?

  13. haha, i just got my electronic @ss HANDED to me! in the future i’ll know better than to mock jokes that i think are just lame stereotype recycling, because — BECAUSE WORMS TURN MY FRIENDS! Haha, can I get a towel to wipe all this egg off my face, or should i just wait for the embarrassment to BURN IT ALL OFF???

    [...your ass is electronic?? What do you do in the shower? - Ed.]

  14. @lsncee: I thought your comment was funny. Thanks for the laugh!

    (But I think the post is funny, too.)

  15. Oh my god. *pinches bridge of nose* Can we get some nuffer-filters in here so that people can stop freaking out all over the comments? Dear lord.

    I thought the post was funny. I really doubt that NTMTOM was trying to make some kind of sexist statement. Jeeeza.

  16. Theo, yes, I meant comments. I’m sorry, I usually post on forums, where the term is usually “post”.

    I guess that little mistake kind of took the wind out of my sails, didn’t it? Bah.

  17. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    @Isncee: Actually, I was just trying to come up with some entertainingly bizarre explanation as to why that dog’s tongue looked like it was stuck to an invisible wall. This was the angle that came to me first, so I rolled with it.

  18. It’s possible — just possible, given Tom’s history of posts — that the “sexist” dialogue is meant to be satirical. It’s kind of like the way Stephen Colbert represents conservative outrage – in a slightly nuanced, exaggerated performance, the “meaning” and intentions of the words are undermined for comic effect.

    The hovertext, in this case, seems to support this hypothesis.

    Nice job, Tom. You chauvinist piggeh.

  19. Von Zeppelin says:

    Chubby dog with lolling tongue on hot day: “Do these pants make me look fat?” (Notice lack of gender stereotyping.)

  20. AuntieMame says:

    NomTom don’t ever feel like you have to explain your posts. And certainly not to sarcastic wiseacres.

    Nina, your *post* was hilarious. (I knew what you meant…I visit a lot of forums, too.)

  21. binky-mama says:

    AND he left the toilet seat up!

  22. Michelle S says:

    hahahaha! adorable and even moreso with the capshon! <3

  23. And he leaves all his whisker shavings on the bathroom sink!!

  24. Is anyone else noticing the awesomeness of the phrase “Wifely Force Field of Solitude” (is that anything like the Fortress of Solitude)???

  25. Tom, you mean you are not Mike? Don’t confuse me, its too easy!

    Love the caption and especially wifey’s “don’t you dare think about joining me on MY bed” eyeball warning.

  26. and another thing, is “Not that Mike the other Mike” a line from “American President’ starring Michael Douglas?

  27. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    @becca: Thank you. I think the WFFoS may be related to the famous Reality Distortion Field. :-)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality_distortion_field

  28. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    @ffleur: I like that movie and I’m familiar with the scene you’re describing, but the name they use isn’t “Mike.” I think it’s “Clark.”

  29. @Not Mike aka Tom: good grief, you know your movies. I just checked the screen play and damn! You are right.

    SHEPHERD
    Clark.

    KODAK
    No.

    SHEPHERD
    Not that Clark, the one from Indiana.

    http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/American-President,-The.html

    Damn, I hate being wrong.

  30. Pugs have the greatest expressions. The eyes say so much.

    Cute pups!

  31. eikoleigh says:

    hahaha

  32. Oh Honey I love it when you get mad, it kinda turns me on, woof woofa howl howl.

  33. Yes i love pugs

  34. My girlfriend and I have conversations like that, and we’re both women (although not NeoCon).

    We don’t leave the toilet seat up, though.

    Hey, somebody unstick that pug’s tongue!

  35. pug in capri pants!!!

  36. I LOVE the mere idea of a pug in Capri pants.

  37. How about diCaprio in pug pants?

  38. hahaha this is my home life – exactly – my husband is wearing a dip in the couch from sleeping there so much, just the other day I was saying that we just needed to build a husband sized dog-house for him. :D

    I love it.

  39. “Stuck to an invisible wall” – that’s just what I thought too. Then I thought, forgive me, that if my guy had a tongue like that, I probably wouldn’t turn him down.

  40. Erebella, you don’t know where that tongue has been!?!?

    Pugtastic post!

  41. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lBQWUR3u7U
    Charles still has a licking problem.

  42. (the original) Mel says:

    Long, long ago, on a post far, far away…

    There was a commenter named Mike.

    But then…an EVIL Mike nuffer came and his comments were MEAN and NASTY.

    So Mike changed his name to Not That Mike the Other Mike.

    And that is the legend of NTMTOM.

  43. Capt' Tightpants says:

    OriginalMel, would you tell me the NOMTOM bedtime story again? But this time with shadow puppets?

    Cuz that would be awesome!

  44. Wifey Force Field of Solitude is hilarious and so is the triple-dog-dare-freezy joke!!

    You know what “NTMTOM” makes me think nom Tom in my haid.

  45. see capt. tightpants also thinks “nom Tom”!

    nom nom nom

  46. (the original) Mel says:

    Well Capt’ Tightpants, only if we are very good, and we smoke some Humboldt County first. Then we can watch Toonces the Sewing Cat make our shadow puppets for us. And then I’ll tell you the story again.

  47. Ms.McPantiesInABunchnuff says:

    Men and women are different in more than the physical sense. We are not just “parts is parts”. Just because we are different does not mean to imply one is “less” than the other. Our differences are wondrous and exciting…..and very funny! If we were the same except physically…the species would have died out years ago…..from BOREDOM.

    Enjoy, celebrate the differences….and the pugs in capri pants. :)

  48. You might lean in close and say something sexy like, “I think I’ll go to bed, I’ve got work in the morning.” It’s business time!

  49. Mary (the first) says:

    I’m more concerned about the fact that the little pug looks much too much smaller/younger than the big pug to be his “wife”. Unless it’s a trophy wife, I guess. Looks more to me like, “You are grounded for life, young lady! You will not be allowed to date until you’re 30!” and the puglet, “Awww Dad, it was just some capris and a tube top, it wasn’t that revealing, really all the girls wear them. Don’t be so old fashioned!” Something like that.

  50. It’s weird. I love this picture.

    But if you look at it in a certain way, it looks like the larger pug is stuffed and has just been scooted into frame. The little one is kind of like “holy crap is this one of those rhesus monkey experiments, or like a Trojan horse filled with kitties?”

  51. ScoutsMom says:

    Mary (the 1st), I totally agree with you. I think it looks like the bigger pup is scolding the little one – like sending him to bed without dinner. And look at that tiny face! He’s trying to look all innocent, but that puppy knows he’s in big trouble!!!

  52. Whitney –

    Might that be a Flight of the Conchords reference? If so, *high five*.

  53. Mary (the first) says:

    And on top of that the big guy is too scarily looking like one of those stylized Chinese dog/dragon things .. do y’all know what I mean.. this guy could totally pose for one of those. Totally.

  54. @Theo, THAT is what is making Pug Hubby do the “Pfui!” face.

  55. bookmonstercats says:

    [...your ass is electronic?? What do you do in the shower? - Ed.] Snorted tea out of my nose, Teho.

    That’s one big scary pug. Even if we allow wife/teenage daughter (both funny) is small, he’s still biiiggg.

  56. After those VP debates last night, be glad it wasn’t tequila.

  57. i think the small one is scared because the big one is too big.

  58. Totalee Puppy says:

    Bigger Dog does look like one of the dogs outside the Chinese restaurant–I think it’s called a Foo Dog…keeping evil spirits away from Cute Overload…
    That’s the aim in life of a
    Foo Dog…Thanks, Mary (the first)…

  59. LOL *snerk @ hovertext