Jurassic Dork

Skillfully shrouded within the dense prehistoric jungle, the deadly velociraptor stalks his prey.  A soulless killing machine, he is as cunning as he is ruthless.  Patiently he waits as his unsuspecting quarry draws closer, and then, without warning … HE STRIKES!

Give it up, pal, you are SOOO dinner!

We all need our dreams, Karen G.



  1. “A bit leathery…but its mine!”

  2. LMAO! he’s all “i was born in the wrong era” hahaha!

  3. “ewww what did you step in?!?!”

  4. But what we don’t see is the 500 leeezards just out of frame.

  5. I was once “attacked” of you can call it that, by a teensy gecko, about a quarter the size of this Liz. I was trying to take him out of my dad’s house in florida, and he attacshed his tiny self to my finger. I couldn’t even feel the bite, that’s how tiny he was. I didn’t want him to feel bad, so I said “Oh my goodness that hurts! Oh my goodness how scary you are!” as I put him out on the lawn.

  6. Ok, so I never thought lizards were all THAT cute but… ahn!! I am a lizard convert 🙂 xx

  7. That caption rocks!

  8. I think he is smiling a another lizzard holding a camera. Like he is saying “Come on Dwayne! Snap the photo before he shakes me loose!! HAAHAA!! I got the ‘Big One’!”

  9. Gail (the first one) says:

    @Theresa: Way to buck up that youngster’s self-esteem!! As Count Floyd would say, “Ooooh, that’s some scarrry stuff!”

  10. “Resistance is futile, human.”

  11. You’re a few millions of years off there little guy…

    Instant bleen.


  13. Tyrannosaurus gex?

  14. what IS that? i’ve seen cute lizards (like geckos and chamelions) but THAT is not cute, i hate to say. Especially if it bites!! What if he was wearing sandles?!?!!!

  15. That’s funny. Thems lizards are tough! They’ve got millions of years of collective racial memory – that would make anyone cocky.

  16. Allegra, they don’t have teeth of any size, more like just a rough edge to the inside of the jaw. They can clamp down tightly, but it is startling rather than damaging or painful. I don’t have this species in my yard, just the anoles people here call chameleons because they can turn green or brown, depending what they are sitting on. They are very easy going and tame, but will latch on sometimes if threatened.

    When my cat used to paw at them (inside cat only now), they would latch onto his paw then he’d shake it like he stepped in water, trying to get the lizard off. Woe betide the cat that sniffs one that latches onto their whiskers or lip! It startles the cat and makes humans laugh. It can take like half a minute sometimes to shake them off. They are small but consider themselves fierce warriors. Some you catch though (if done gently) are quite tame.

  17. Aw, he reminds me of the poor little gecko I rescued on my patio not long ago. I had some plastic wall pockets that I was trying to get the adhesive off of so I put them on the patio and doused them with WD-40 (yes, that will take off adhesive residue). The next morning when we left for church, I found this poor little guy adhered to part of the adhesive. He was extremely patient while I gently peeled his underside loose, but the instant that last little bit of skin was free, he skittered out of my grip and scampered away.

  18. (the original) Mel says:


  19. Lizard is all like, I’ve got you right where I want you now!

  20. Oh, so you aren’t interested in buying our car insurance, eh? Well, we’ll just see about that!!

  21. hahaha *chompsh* wtf this giant bug tastes weeeeird

  22. what kind is he? anybody know? his back looks yellow, and he’s fatter than the florida anoles i used to know.

    i lurve him!

  23. Gecko of me!

  24. effortless says:

    gizmo — you’re funny.
    He’s very very cute.

  25. Send this to the guys at xkcd… they’ll immediately post it as velociraptor awareness 😛

  26. platedlizard says:

    I want to say he’s an alligator lizard, but that’s probably all wrong. Does anyone know where the picture was taken? That would help pin down the species.

    Best attempt at OM NOM NOM ever!

  27. warrior rabbit says:

    Allegra, I’ve never seen a lizard wear sandals…nyuk nyuk nyuk.

    It’s not an alligator lizard. They’re darker, patterned, have a different shape, and they *do* hurt.

  28. Another lizard nom – As a kid, we gently played with anoles then put them back in the garden. I never did this trick, though! As an adult, I have usually spent time rescuing them from my cat.

    Anyway – live lizard earring:


    But the look on thsi kid’s face makes this one ven better!


  29. PlatedLizard — I was wondering when the noms would show up. Heh.

  30. “ambition” lol that totally should be on one of those motivational posters.

  31. AuntieMame says:


  32. @Gail, I even washed my hands very carefully after I put him down, so he couldn’t kill me with salmonella. 😛



  34. I beg to differ, lizards, at least certain types DO have real teeth, and they HURT. I worked in rescue with monitor lizards, and own 2. One of my boys bit me one day (totally my fault, I wasn’t thinking and startled him on his blind side,he’s missing an eye) and I’ll tell ya, that boy has a nasty bite. My big one can break fingers with his jaws, not that he has, I just know he CAN heh. Cute lizard though, and great pic, looks like something my boys would do.

  35. wagthedogma says:

    Just CHEW it!

  36. LOL!!

  37. “Oh, running away, huh – come back you coward! I’ll bite your legs off!”

  38. “Okay, I caught him. Now what should I do with him?” [helpless Wiley E. Coyote expression]

  39. Looks like a skink of some kind, I would say – too big, and the head’s too fat for an alligator lizard.

  40. Martha in Washington says:

    Victoreia-My favorite Road Runner cartoon. (I always pulled for Wiley.)

    My son had a Chinese Water Dragon that we had to give medicine to by prying open his mouth and shooting the medicine in with a syringe. They don’t have teeth just the ridges on their gums. Unfortunately, the medicine didn’t help and he is buried in the garden.

  41. Thanks for the Count Floyd reference Gail — of course, you can’t really look at this photo without putting on your three-d glasses….oooooo…..

    The pic (with the caption in particular) reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes for some reason.

  42. I’m amazed someone else commented about the lizard earrings!

    I grew up in Florida and my sister and I used to do that. With those type of lizards it doesn’t hurt a bit.

    Its good to know that my sister and I aren’t the only crazy kids to have done that!

  43. Ehn!
    I weel bite you!
    I just want to let him nibble on my finger.

  44. @Martha in Washington:

    I have a chinese water dragon, too. They DO have teeth. The larger the water dragon, the bigger the teeth. They look very much like iguana teeth.

    Luckily, water dragons aren’t biters much!

  45. Yitzysmommie says:

    Who’s the FEEERce GIANT man KEEELINGK Monster Lizard? – yes you, you vicious frightening thing you!
    Shoe owner is properly terrified now! you have done well, Killer!

  46. Mook, you beat me to it.

    “I’ll bite your ankles, I will! EHN!”

  47. Martha in Washington says:

    Compy–was there something (else) wrong with our dragon? He definitely did not have “real” teeth. Our dragon Zheng only bit crickets.

    BTW, what do iguana teeth look like? (Besides CWD teeth.)

  48. Looney Tunes cartoon: “I’m a chicken hawk and you’re a chicken!”

  49. ThreeCatNight says:

    I vant to suck your shoe! Lay-thur, ahh! Deeleeshus! Not as good as vat Renfield gets me, but it vill haf to do!

  50. Nah, definitely not a skink. Too much of a defined neck. I’m thinking some sort of relation of the collared lizard?

  51. First time poster-had to come out from Lurkville to tell you all how much I love reading your comments-these had me rolling!

  52. Welcome, Kimberly!

  53. I’m 99.9% sure that that there little fellow is a cuban anole.

    http://www.naturephoto-cz.com/photos/sevcik/cuban-knight-anole–anolis-equestris.jpg is another picture of one. They’re chompy, but it really doesn’t hurt!