Happy Squirtday!

The birth of a giant panda cub has been caught on camera at Oji Zoo in Kobe, Japan! It’s squirt-licious. (Ew!)

Watch the whole video here…

Bbc

Kinda gross, Kobe Oji Zoo! Sender-Inner Grace J. "May Day", thanks for this serious McSquirmersons.

Comments

  1. ButtaRumCake says:

    SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBLEEEEEEEN!

  2. ButtaRumCake says:

    *looks @ video*

    *GAGBLEEN*

  3. warrior rabbit says:

    She doesn’t seem to know what to do with it at first, does she? Luff the squawking.

  4. I want a baby panda!!!

  5. my eyes O_o .. anyone else reminded of the movie Alien??

  6. So tiny yet so fierce!

  7. that was the first airborne projectile birth I have ever seen… *Splort*!

  8. STOP SQUIRMING!

    LOL. Panda cubs are the most unlikely looking lil dewds!

  9. Dobermama says:

    Anybody else reminded of the baby from Eraserhead? Bless its heart.

  10. Man, pandas got it right! “What do you mean, “labor”? I pop ‘em out at about 1/500 my size. Yup, just one.”

    Except for that whole endangered-and-unable-to-ramp-up-your-numbers thing.

  11. I love how the momma tries to pick him up with her mouth, but he’s too squirmy, and once she does get him into her arms, he quiets right down.

    And, if this vid doesn’t make you cry, you are dead inside.

  12. i’m sorry to be a party pooper, but the cub has passed away after 3 days.

  13. MAN! Pandas have it easy. I’d have at least eleven of my own baby pandas if we could do it that easy. Oh well.

  14. lawds, that was quick! *jealous*

  15. Kinda gross?
    What’s gross about the miracle of birth?
    GROSS is that
    Karl Lagerfield $1400 Teddy Bear!! THAT left a truly bad taste in my mouth!!

  16. warrior rabbit says:

    didn’t make me cry, guess I’m dead inside

    oh, well, there’s more room for chocolate inside an empty shell unburdened by working organs

    [Nobody NEEDS chocolate... *snerk* - Ed.]

  17. Wow! I had no idea a baby panda is so small when born! Too bad he didn’t survive. :(

  18. Right at this moment, I feel so grateful to have opposable thumbs. So conweenient.

  19. darkshines says:

    I thought the last thirty seconds were very sweet, she was clearly thinking “stop squirming around and let me feed you!”, lol.

  20. This is a BIRTH? Come on! First mammal I’ve ever seen without an umbilical cord.

  21. emmmmmm, how come, how come, how come, there’s no birth cord or anything? The cub is really clean. Am I a biology dummy, sry? Other than that, some tough little panda, and mama panda is quite confused and whiny :P

    @claudia, me jealous too! my friend just had an over 10pd baby boy. It took her over a day!

  22. warrior rabbit says:

    @Carolina, childbirth is pretty gross, imho.

    Something can be amazing and gross at the same time; they don’t have to be mutually exclusive traits.

    Really, most everything (i.e. a substance) that exits the body is gross. Think about it.

  23. momof2kitties says:

    If birth was that easy for hoomans I’d have twenty kids!

    I gotta admit the HUGE teefs nipping at the bebeh made my heart skip a beat or two. I figured she’d be gentle but still…

  24. the panda baby is not dead:

    http://mdn.mainichi.jp/national/news/20080827p2a00m0na003000c.html
    http://www.asahi.com/english/Herald-asahi/TKY200808280057.html

    These were published two and one day ago, respectively. Maybe kat was confused! The wrigglesons lives in all of his small, projectiled, umbilical-less glory!

  25. cheshirepat says:

    There is also good news at the Atlanta Zoo: Lun Lun is preggers again!

    http://www.zooatlanta.org/zoo_news_panda_birthwatch_08.htm

    This means we get to (hopefully) watch a new baby pandacam this fall!! w00t!

  26. warrior rabbit says:

    @kerrymc: But if you google ‘panda japan’ at news.google.com, you’ll see several just-hours-old articles about its unfortunate passing. Too sad. :(

  27. anniepoonanny says:

    I love the way she looks at it.

    “What in the hell… ?”

  28. from now on, if there’s a cute animal in a video, i don’t want to know if it dies. People who want to tell people that should write in big font at the top of their post, “read this only if you want your heartbroken.” Then i’ll be able to stay in my happy little world of baby panda squeals.

  29. That thing literally LEPT FORTH from her womb. That was eerie!

    But yeah, no cord, no clean-up? Easiest birth EVAR.

  30. Sad!I’m with Jen, if you find out a bebeh dies, I don’t want to know about it!

  31. berthaservant says:

    I just have to say that when I saw the post’s title, I thought I was on the wrong website.

    And yeah, there’s something kind of Eraserhead about it (or vice-versa).

    But it’s also very very beautiful. And strange and funny and cute and disgusting at the same time. Thank you, God/Nature/Force/Flying Spaghetti Monster!

  32. JulieRaven says:

    That seriously just looked like she was all, “Hm. I think I’ll have a baby.” *squatPOP* “Oh noes, what do I do with THIS?!”

    Either that or, “I was preggers?”

    LOLZ. That was the best birthing ever, despite how confusing and unmessy it is.

  33. Was the baby premature? That thing was so tiny! Pandas do have it good. Their babies they birth are like 1/500th their size, as someone mentioned… while we humans it’s almost 1/12th…

  34. Karen in Toronto says:

    Mama didn’t seem to know what she was doing–and a concrete floor instead of proper bamboo forest habitat? “At birth, the cub is helpless, and it takes considerable effort on the mother’s part to raise it. A newborn cub weighs three to five ounces and is about the size of a stick of butter. Pink, hairless, and blind, the cub is 1/900th the size of its mother. Except for a marsupial (such as the kangaroo or opossum), a giant panda baby is the smallest mammal newborn relative to its mother’s size.” Not nuffin or nuffin here.

  35. WOW. if only childbirth was as easy for humans ..

  36. Mary (the first) says:

    We had a baby elephant born here a few days ago.. the mama had never even seen a birth and freaked out a bit.. seemed to be stomping/kicking him . but the keepers separated them and are now introducing them back to each other.. seems to all be going well now. YAY for babies! (as compared to baby squirmersons here, the elephant weighed 284 lbs. .. at birth.. yikes.)

  37. Mary (the first) says:
  38. toquoteCosby says:

    “You just had…a lizard…”

  39. DONT EAT YOUR BABY!

  40. Wow! He just squirts outta there! We called our baby panda here in D.C. “Butterstick” because that’s what he was the size of – yep, they’re supposed to be that small!

  41. It’s like one of those tough pioneer women who give birth on the prairie and then walk another 50 miles before setting up camp, baking 5 loaves of bread, and noting in their diary “today I gave birth, walked 50 miles, and baked 5 loaves of bread.” Like “birth, what’s the big deal?”

  42. Sadly, the little fella died today. They don’t know why yet.

  43. Kangaroos have it even easier, birthing-wise. The baby is about the size of a peanut when it’s born, and it inches its way into mama’s pouch and stays there for months before it’s ready to poke its head out and see the world.

  44. Totalee Puppy says:

    Little Panda…Maybe God is not through with you yet…In the bamboo forest by Rainbow Bridge, maybe another panda will take you to her heart…

  45. Alaska_girl says:

    haha, i bet the panda has bigger poos than the baby she just popped out

  46. Actually, that cub in the video is still alive. According to the washingtonpost.com there were actually two twins born, only they didn’t notice the 2nd, sounds kind of crazy but here’s the story.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/24/AR2007082401159.html

  47. @Tamara: that’s a different panda. The one in the original vid is in a zoo in Japan, not Austria. It died after three days:

    http://news.yahoo.com/story//afp/20080829/sc_afp/japananimalspanda

    RIP lil guy :(

  48. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    I’m still wondering about the “no umbilical cord” thing… and amazed that a panda starts out life so tiny!! I guess I need to research pandas.

  49. The small size of a newborn panda is part of the reason they have such a problem with keeping their numbers up.
    Panadas (in the wild) live very solitary lives and don’t often know themselves that they are pregnant. They usually have only seen the daddy that one time. When the baby pops out alot of panda moms have no idea what it is and freak out either abandoning it or killing it in a panic. :(
    They don’t seem to have a very strong maternal instinct and just dont know what to do witht he weird pink screaming thing.
    Not trying to be a nuffer just though some people might be interested.

  50. Haha, how’d you like to be born and be flopping around all freakin out like

    “AHHH THE WORLD! WHAT — WHAT IS — THIS WHAT IS EVERYTHING — AHHHH!!!”

    and then all the sudden there’s a GIANT FRIGGIN PANDA-MONSTER towering over you and licking you and PICKING YOU UP in its MOUTH

    “AHHH WHAT THE HELL MAN” *flop flop*

    haha, birth.

  51. cubbybutt says:

    blech…

  52. waffles'momma says:

    Huh, normally I’m a crier, but I didn’t cry in this one. I doubt I’m “dead inside” but then agian, maybe it’s because I spent the whole video wondering if Momma was about to eat baby, and/or if Momma had actually jsut given birth to an iguana.

  53. Ok, if I’m dead inside if I don’t cry, what does it mean if I LMAO? Poor mama panda. I sort of don’t blame her reaction!

    “Uh…oh god…Why did I just pop out a screaming fish?! Geez kid, stop flopping around and comm’ere! Um…ok, Is there anybody with opposable thumbs and some baby tranquilizers in the house?!

  54. I was fine and happy watching the video, but then when i read the comments that the little dude had passed, I got all teary-eyed /sniffle I’ll still always love pandas, even though they make me sad sometimes.

  55. Erm, interesting, I won’t be sending a Babygrow for a while yet.

  56. it dies because she ate it at the end of the video..did ya’ll miss that?

  57. jackie31337 says:

    The panda mama was probably thinking the same thing I was after my baby was born: how can something so tiny make so much noise?

  58. Awwwwwwwwwww! Mini alien panda! It´s so sweet how the mummy tries to pick it up without hurting it several times, bless her.

    I also hope she didn´t eat the little mite, or crush it under her huge feet! :O

  59. Awww it´s DEAD? Only 3 days old, poor thing, poor mummy too. :(

  60. girlnextdoortn says:

    I love how insistent and so very gentle she was with the baby.

  61. If anyone can translate the zoo’s website, maybe we can determine if the baby died or not:

    http://ojizoo.jp/

  62. Nevermind- Babelfish does translate Japanese. And the news was not good. :-(

  63. Peeps, panda bears NOTORIOUSLY have trouble reproducing, especially in captivity. Brilliant people (and bears) have been working on this problem for decades. They’re absolutely trying, and slow progress is being made. But setbacks happen.

    So please, this is Cute Overload, you have to understand that this video clip was posted “as is” and it can definitely be viewed that way.

  64. it’s so little! so sad to see it had passed on.

    i am 30 mins or so from the Atlanta Zoo, and I can’t wait to see our baby panda!

  65. Yitzysmommie says:

    Awwww. I love Baby McWigglersquackerson’s yells “MOOOOM! MOM!!! PICK ME UP MOM!!!!
    I hate it that peeps find it necessary to tell us that bebehs are dead. In my mind he’s still alive, like that feirce round bellehed bebeh Panda on ICHC. And he’s bein’ cuddled by his Mom, like in the vid where he calms down once he’s in her fur.
    (YM wif hands over eyes, singing “LALALALALA, you’re all wrong, he’s fine”)

  66. cataddict says:

    Well, that gives whole new meaning to the term (wait for it…) having the squirts!

  67. Yitzysmommie says:

    Oh and PS re the ease of Pandabirth: I remember complaining to my OB about how long I had to wait to hold MY bebeh, and he said think of how many kids you’d end up with if pregnancy was only 3 months??? So if we think the world is overpopulated now, imagine if hooman birth was like panda birth – OY! Like a poster way up above me, I’d have 20 kids instead of 2….

  68. Am I seeing things or does the little squirt have a long tail? Or am I just confused by a profusion of tiny squirming naked limbs?

  69. Theresa, it’s not just you. I saw the tailio, too, and it appears to be as long as the legs. Maybe it just doesn’t grow in proportion to the rest of the body.

    And I’m with the others in saying this is THE weirdest live birth I’ve ever seen. Poor pandas. Evolution seems to be all against the survival of their species.

  70. Hah, he just kind of plops right out there. But I was thinking, no wonder these things are endangered, they’re teeny naked extra-helpless squeaky things when they’re born

  71. There’s absolutely NOTHING icky or blech about a panda birth; it’s really a miracle! It’s also a miracle that these tiny creatures live to adult life being that their birth is so very traumatic. I’m sorry to hear that this little guy was one that didn’t make it but then that’s nature way and the reason there aren’t many panda bears left!

  72. AWWWW. Haha, mom seems like she was like “AUGH how am I supposed to take care of you when you are so little?! You are too little to even fit in my mouth correctly!”

  73. oh my freakin’ god.

  74. Big fluffy panda butt coming in view in front of the camera a couple times made my day :)

  75. do you think that it was fast forwarded? no way did that panda just er…come OUT that quick. it looked a bit look the mommy panda is just like “oh yes let me just sit down now..and then yes ill just.. ooooh!!” and then this little panda just kinda slips out.
    i wish he would stop squeakin’ & squirmin’.very cute though. just think that teeny little thing will be as big as his mama one day. :)

  76. very cute, but i kept getting scared that the big panda was gonna sit on the little panda.

    now that would be ugly. (SQUEESH)

  77. Ohhh, get that, would you, Deidre?

  78. Now awaiting the birth of another baby panda (or two!) in Atlanta… which will probably be on the Panda Cam as well! :D

  79. Lun Lun at Zoo Atlanta just gave birth about 5 minutes ago. I am so thankful I got to watch it live on the webcam. Lets pray this baby survies like healthy Mei Lan!

  80. Tai Shan’s (National Zoo in DC) birth was far more startling – Mei Xiang was lying on her side, Tai Shan popped out, flew through the air, hit the wall, and fell to the ground. (apparently this projectile birth helps them to start breathing – the equivalent of a doctor smacking a newborn?)

  81. Miracle? Sure, I guesss. All births are disgusting, those of you who have had children I guess think different, but it’s all opinion, so to each his own. That baby panda looked and moved EXACTLY like a maggot, how gross. The mommy was very cute though, as are pandas in general. Their adult cuteness level makes up for maggot babiness.

  82. Awwww, look at Mama all confused about her squirmy, noisy and totally reptilian bebeh.

    Poor pandas – ’tis true they have trouble reproducing. They come into heat only ONE day a year I believe, and give birth to only one baby at a time, so that makes it really hard for them to sustain numbers. Here’s hoping for more bebeh pan-pans in the future, though!

  83. The Atlanta panda cub birth, from last night:

    http://zooatlanta.org/animals_giant_panda_cub_updates.htm

    (Click on the picture and you’ll see the video!)

  84. I haven’t read most of the comments, and I suspect I’m ok with that. I just wanted to say that, as I watched this, my sweet goldie heard the squeaking and rushed in all ready to take care of the baby. My heart is a puddle right now.

  85. I don’t understand the ‘it’s not gross it’s a miracle’ thing… can’t it be both? are miracles non-gross by definition? if i were falling to my death, and Zeus or Allah or whoever created a big vat of eyeballs under me to break my fall, wouldn’t that be both a miracle and sickeningly gross at the same time?

  86. Vid wont load for me. =(
    Is the site video down?

    I wanna see. T_T

  87. Not sure about the GIANT panda cub there.

    “Gender unknown”? It’s a squeeky toy!

  88. OH MY!

    If only human childbirth were that quick and easy!!!

    Love me them panda babies!

  89. Heh heh. Mom is all “Doodeedoo… wait, what is this?” Behbeh is all “Dude, what just happened?” Mom is all “Oh right, childbirth.” Behbeh is all “I don’t know if I like this.” Mom is all “Wait, I thought I was having a panda. I don’t know what this thing is.” Behbeh is all “Okay, I know I don’t like this.” Mom is all “Seriously, little dude, hold still so I can grab you and show you the milkbar.” Behbeh is all “PUT ME BACK IN!” Heh heh.

  90. whats so gross abut a awsome panda giving birth to asome little cubs

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