You Missed the Offramp!

"You never listen to directions!  Now we’re going to be late, and we’ll miss the good parking spaces, the kids’ll be cranky, and it’s all your fault — and you just let that duck cut us off!"

'You're a goose, dummy -- HONK!'

"MOM!! Timmy’s swimming the wrong way again!"

'I'm outta here. Anybody needs me, I'll be at Chuck E. Cheese.'

Are we there yet, Cherie T.?



  1. Love the downy bleening geeses!

  2. “This is the little-known ‘Bleeny’ subspecies of Canada Goose, known for its large clutches, outbursts of ‘lake rage,’ and their consumption of Russian-style crepes stuffed with cheese or potato.”

  3. “Don’t make me turn this lake around!!”

  4. ROFL@katiedid!

    Goosio, Goosio, Goosio,
    Do you know I’m Goosio?
    Friend to Maltese children everywhere-io,
    Goosio, Goosio, Goosio!

  5. Um, aren’t those ducklings with the geese, rather than goslings? I wonder what sordid family secret led to that?

  6. Waits for mother goose to insert a dvd into dad’s back so it’ll keep the kids preoccupied.

  7. dottiejean28 says:

    um…not to be a nuffer…but EWWWWWWW Canadian Geese! In New Jersey in my area, all they do is poop everywhere, and block traffic! There has been a big effort to have them destroyed which i don’t agree with, I would rather them gather them all in a plane and fly em back to canada

  8. Desdemona says:

    This reminds me of that Jamaican rum commercial: “Oh Mahn! Greedlock!”

  9. Gracie — nope, they’re absolutely goslings. Most birds don’t get their adult plumage until they’re… well, adult. I’ve seen Canada Geese still looking yellowish even though they’re nearly full-grown.

    KatieDid — oh, please do! I’ll keep an eye on the GPS.

    Other Mike — I’ve been looking for a lake with a ramp in it ever since I started wakeboarding at age 5 in an alternate universe.

  10. DottieJean — they do that on their own, you know. They just keep coming back later. You should’ve seen all the geese and ducks up in Fergus Falls, by the way; they practically BLANKET the parks and athletic fields there.

  11. Where is Mr Flapper to direct traffic when you need him?

  12. @dottiejean28…I too am a Jerseyite but I have to disagree with the ewww. I love the Canadian Geese, it’s so cool to see whole flocks of them taking off from or landing in the fields.

    Ok, I just flashed back to old family trips when I was a kid. We always wondered why Mom didn’t drive since she was the one who always knew where we were going.

  13. The goose doin’ the talkin’ in that top picture is the daddy or gander, btw — you can tell by the larger size, more contrast-y white, and spends more time staring and yelling at intruders, less time slumped over with exhaustion.

  14. duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck GOOSE!

    (runs around blog and takes your spot)

    [Too late, gotcha! – Ed.]

  15. AuntieMame says:

    I have to agree with dottiejean28. We have gazillions of Canadian geese here in Denver, and they’re a filthy nuisance. Their babies are cute, though…

    I can just picture Timmy’s little webby feet churning through the water as he meanders across the lake.

  16. Gail (the first one) says:

    “Mom, he’s splashin’ me!”
    “Am not!”
    “Are too!”
    “Well, he’s swimming too close to me!”

    No wonder geese get so crabby if you go near them!!

  17. Theo, the one time I was in Minneapolis, I walked through the park that Mary Tyler Moore walked through in the opening credits. There were tourists talking each other’s pictures by the pond, and getting chased around by Canada geese.

  18. PS Anyone else reminded of this Warner Brothers cartoon?
    (FF to 4:50)

  19. I used to work in the office building that MTM stood in front of, while tossing her hat up in the air. It was OK. Best part was being right on the skyway; there was a juice bar (Sola) right down in the Crystal Court. Mmmm.

  20. Ohio certainly gets its share of Canada geese (and their poop-which is ALMOST everywhere-particular near ponds, etc.). The goslings are cute until there is a herd of them trying to cross the road in front of you… and you’re late for an appointment somewhere….

  21. Pretty beakie babies.

  22. Yes dear,Geesh mumble mumble!
    Norman, Norman! did you answer me back, well did you, Norman, I’m talking to you Norman.
    No Dear.

  23. @Blair – too funny!!! I had forgotten about that game!!!

    Here in South Carolina, we get these beautiful Birds year round… There’s a pond near where I live and they visit there quite often… They sometimes split up and veg out on either side of the road, in the fields… So I always tell people that we have the West Wing side, and East Wing side…

    *ducks and runs for cover*

  24. I always get p****d off at the geese every year when they fly over new York to go south. It’s like they’re rubbing it in that we’re about to get a metric ton of snow dumped on us. Rats deserting a sinking ship.

    I always forgive them when they come back, though.

  25. Love the geese and goslings! Sooooo cute! I wonder if they think hoomans are the filthy nuisance?

  26. scooterpants says:

    teenie goosies!
    I wanna hold one.

  27. HA! amazin’

    Timmy, stop pecking your sister.

    I’m nooooot. She started iit!!

  28. Nobody has made a “goosing” joke yet!

  29. I wonder where that Cherie T. is from??? I know a Cherie T! Perhaps it is the same one!

    Goosies are not silly – they are MEANIES!!! But of course, little goosies are cute!

    The only problem I have with geese is that the poop makes the dogs sick. If you ever let your dog off lead in a goose poop infested area, be prepared for giardia and other not-so-fun issues.

  30. momof2kitties says:

    Yeah, we hates the geesies too. My kids call them Poop Machines. We have ponds and a stream in our neighborhood that the geese are naturally drawn to and their poop is EVERYWHERE on the walking paths. Watch your step!

    These guys are cute, but I prefer them in a picture to in my yard.

  31. i would just like to say to nuffers:
    you probably have a choice as to where to walk –
    the geese, probably not so much choice, since we’ve paved over and built over and destroyed so much of *their* habitat! And it *was* theirs first.
    so chill about the geese, pleeez?

  32. Did anyone ever see the movie “Fly Away Home”? Since that one I’ve absolutely loved the baby geese and duckies.

    P.S. Love all the nuffers complaining about geese considering the geese set their migrating patterns long before we were here. Not to mention that we have kind of a weird habit of destroying THEIR habitat with bulldozers and log cutters (not just pooping in it). Usually I’m not vicious, but STFU and GTFO.

  33. momof2kitties says:

    Hmmm…the profanity? Not so much needed here. Try again. Thanks.

  34. Whoa people calm down … they are just geese.. they have just as much right to walk around in your backyard/street/or whatever… These things were all over my moms backyard and they stayed year round.. nothing a little rain wont take care of…

  35. the poop i mean… 😀

  36. CoffeeCup says:

    Geese aren’t necessarily a nuisance, they just get in the way. But not in the way that would cause accidents (if you’re driving, and you can’t slow down, for god’s sake, don’t start swerving…) or wreck anyone’s day. It’s not even that “we wrecked their habitat” it’s more that we share space, and they’re ANIMALS – it’s not like they intentionally poo in the sidewalk so we have to play minesweeper when we go walking.

  37. Once almost extinct, Canada Geese have gone through a huge and arguably unnatural population explosion over the past 25-30 years because they have benefitted from the ways humans have changed the urban landscape in North America. This is not a simple case of “they were here first so tolerate them” – they have, in fact, unnaturally developed into huge flocks in areas that were not historically home to these birds. They are attracted to the cultivated parks and man-made urban water areas, golf courses and farmer’s fields, for feeding and nesting. An influx of one of these abnormally large flocks of Canada Geese can increase fecal coliform in our waterways and reservoirs to unhealthy levels. They nest in inappropriate areas near buildings or parking lots, endangering themselves and their human neighbours. They damage agricultural crops through excessive grazing and overpopulation. Please don’t take my comments the wrong way – I adore these majestic birds. I just think we might all take a moment to educate ourselves to decide whether we are truly encroaching onto their natural environment as some of you suggest, or to consider whether we are instead assisting in the creation of an unnatural environment for their sometimes uncomfortably large populations in our urban areas …

  38. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    I had forgotten all about that cartoon – very cute, Theresa.

  39. berthaservant says:

    Well said, birdcage — I think we can ALL agree that human intervention has had unintended consequences for a number of species. It makes you think about how we might prepare our world for a better tomorrow.

    :: the more you know ::

    Now, who wants to recycle some plastic and then get some delicious delicious pudding?

  40. “Human intervention has had unintended consequences for a number of species,” berthasbutler? Even for humans. What flavor pudding we talkin about?

  41. Thank you, birdcage! That was eloquently put.

  42. cataddict says:

    I’ve often wondered whether species that we have rescued were intended to be extinct for some reason by nature. Example: would humans have evolved as we have if dinosaurs still existed? That said: luf dem geeses….!

  43. I once watched a 2 yr old issue a smack down to a goose (who was half the kid’s size) who was getting overly aggressive in the park where she was feeding the ducks and ducklings too. Kind of funny. The animal wasn’t hurt, though quite startled. The little girl was like 2, so please no screams of “abuse!” She ending up smacking thing on its back, but darn that goose was aggressive!

  44. Mm very true – good call Birdcage. I suppose it just honks me off a bit (lol pun definitely intended) when people complain about animals when they have as much right as anything to just… be. Especially when the predominant issue appears to be poop on a sidewalk/park. I guess it’s the same with seagulls – you can’t even think about a seagull without free associating it with garbage, which is an issue that we have inadvertantly created.

    At any rate, those are some cute baby McGeesersons, which is really the point of CO. 🙂

  45. Fegli — my problem with seagulls is more along the lines of associating them with the *sea*. So it was weird for me when I came to Minnesota and found them ALL OVER THE PLACE here. It’s the 10,000 lakes, I guess.

  46. …and ya gotcher Great Lakes, son…. ya, see these, are yer pri-mordial sea-gulls, from way out there from your East…