I’m 18, I’m shaved, and I will kick your a$$

The name? Sheffield.

The cut? Lion. (Well, Lion’esque)

My age: 18? that’s like, 198 human years.

The ass-kicking factor? Oh it’s High, Baby—it’s high. [Lids lower]

Img_7421sm

Sheffield is pretty awes (some) Michaela C. I’m thinking lowered lids could be a future rule of cuteness if we get three specimens…

Comments

  1. He does not look pleased with his current predicament.

  2. At 18 years he’s lucky he has hair to cut. There’s a special place in H-E-Double hockeysticks for people who shave their cats.

  3. so much love says:

    Well, I think he looks velvety soft and tewtelly nommable wiff his widdle lyon scwuffle.

    omnomnomnom

  4. 198 human years?! Aw, sweetie, you don’t look a day older than 18 kitty years. :3

  5. My cat Alaidh is 19.5 and I wish I could shave off her fur but there’s no way she’d stay still! It’s very, very fine, very, very long and mats very easily, so I’m always working at little knots, which is VERY difficult to do without hurting her. (Enough with the veries! Verys? Damn…very should have a plural…) Anyway, it’s a slow process. I’m guessing this guy is the same, hence the haircut.

  6. snorglepup says:

    You totally pull off that lion-look.
    Good kitty.

  7. #1 This cat looks exactly like my first cat, Echo! Really, the beautiful smoky grey color and the (once) long hair–the spitting image of Echo!

    #2 One of my cats is 18 also, and you’d be surprised at how spry she is. Some cats can carry 18 years really well, like this Sheffield guy here.

  8. Beth (in NC) says:

    I didn’t even *know* that a kitty could rival a rabbit in Disapproval. Whooo.

  9. I thought that said lick

  10. Where did these two cat-eye-sized burn marks in my forehead come from? Oh.

  11. Gail (the first one) says:

    Now I know how my Charlie would look if at 18 he decides he wants a makeover–LOL! He does the half-closed eyes thing too…with him, it means utterly relaxed, not homicidal!

  12. @Gail-speak for yrself..not every 1/2-eye close denotes pleasure! Sometimes it’s denotes watch out you iz ded but not while you iz lookin.
    I avoid the whole thing by brushing Mr. i’m-17-and-dont-look-it Picky-cat every single night.

  13. That is a cat who is plotting something. I’d guess some type of revenge. Kitty, it wasn’t me, I swear…

  14. OMG, that must be exactly how one of my cats would look if I ever get him the lion’s cut. Hopefully without the evil-plotting-eyes.

  15. As in: “I’m 18, I’m Shaved, and I will Lick your a$$.”

    I thought it was another craigslist post.

  16. Looks like one of my boys: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ceejoe/1286889454/in/set-72157594249727823/
    He mats easy too, so the I can totally understand the haircut on handsome Sheffield. (great name, by the way!)
    My Alex has the beginnings of some small mats on the back-of-his-legs-fluffy-hair area… I am such a bad mama… need to get right on them before they get any bigger!

  17. Kevin, it’s not mean to shave a cat who doesn’t shed properly. Some cats like it.

  18. My poor Tora will look like that tomorrow! Brushing doesn’t seem to help, she has extremely thick fur and it mats very easily. But I’m happy to see she’ll still be a cutie with the shaved look. Thanks Sheffield for making me feel a little better about this…I’ll take the death looks anyday just so I can pet her without it hurting her! :)

  19. joss — i’m afraid the “shaved” part led my mind in that direction too…

  20. ceejoe thanks for sharing pix of your kitts. how lucky you are to have so many cutie fur friends!

    sheffield’s a sweet boy. loff him! the lion-cut can be a relief and a blessing in the summer…

  21. ps joss: me too! i thought i was the only pervert ;)

  22. If I don’t shave my cat in the summer, he gets mats of fur so unruly that they pull on his skin and make him bleed. So how is shaving my cat mean?

  23. Yes, he looks none too pleased. Such a handsome boy, though! Looks great for his age.

  24. “I ARE BIG LION!!! Ok not really.”

  25. Anyone know what kind of breed this cat is? My cat looks just like him but I don’t know my cat’s breed. Help, please! ;o)

  26. Kevin? Special place in hell for people who shave their cats?

    And God said to Satan, “people who shave their cats. ..well, ol’ Belzebub, can you make a special place for them?”

    Satan: Well, Jehovah, you made hell, I’m just here to clean up with Osiris and Hades. You want me to move some chairs around or what?

    God: I want it to be “special.” I want it to be different from the places where the rest of the unrepentant stay.

    Satan: You want it really super bad, because these are the worst people in hell? You want the non-christian cat shavers to have a worse time of it than the non-christian murderers and rapists and dog-abusers?

    God: No. you know, I want it SPECIAL!

    Satan: Sigh, yes sir.

    Satan hangs up a sign saying “Welcome non-christian Cat-Shavers!” in the back corner.

  27. Not a happy kitty. He is beautiful though!

  28. looks kinda like our stella: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA3rTc0ibnk

    Stella’s dad doesn’t think the lion cut is dignified, and it might embarrass her. I told him that’s the whole point. Embarrassed, glaring cats are adorable.

  29. Looks funny, but I bet he feels supah coooool.

  30. Alice Cooper said…

    I’m 18

    Lines form on my face and hands lines form from the ups and downs
    I’m in the middle without any plans I’m a boy and I’m a man
    I’m eighteen and I don’t know what I want eighteen I just don’t know what I want
    Eighteen I gotta get away I gotta get out of this place I’ll go runnin’ in outer space oh yeah
    I got a baby’s brain and an old man’s heart took eighteen years to get this far
    Don’t always know what I’m talkin’ about feels like I’m livin’ in the middle of doubt
    ’cause I’m eighteen I get confused every day eighteen I just don’t know what to say eighteen I gotta get away
    Whoa lines form on my face and my hands lines form on the left and right
    I’m in the middle the middle of life I’m a boy and I’m a man
    I’m eighteen and I like it yes I like it oh I like it love it like it love it
    Eighteen eighteen eighteen eighteen and I like it!

    Rock on Sheffield!

    And after the reading the comments, I’m so grateful my kitty has short hair, does not get matted, and never has to get shaved. NOT that there’s anything wrong with it, I’m just glad we don’t have to go through that particular experience.

  31. Looks quite like my Stan the man, who has only had his arse end shaved so far.
    The cat in the picture, looks as if he has been in an argument with a Lawnmower.

  32. scooterpants says:

    i dont think he looks mean at all.
    i think he looks like if you gave him a pet, he would do a HUGE cat wheelie and purr like mad.
    Nice Kitty.

  33. Sheffield is probably related to Bertha. Her hair is this exact colour and length and she always gives me that “Oh REALLY?” half-squint.

    BTW, 18 is about 88 in “human years” (20 for year #1, 4 for every year after). Something tells me if Clint Eastwood makes it to 88 he’ll look as tough as this guy.

  34. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    I just noticed the hovertext after reading all the comments and going back for another look at the pretty-yet-pissed-looking kitteh. THAT is funny!

  35. Snicklefritz, who lived to 20, didn’t groom his long, fine hair properly, and refused to let us brush him. So once a year, it was off to the vet for a shave. Just his behind, mind you… but bad enough, from his perspective, that he had to hang out in the closet for a few days afterwards.

  36. ThreeCatNight says:

    This shouldn’t even happen to a DOG!

  37. Dawnluvscute says:

    Can I just say, ‘Sheffield’? what a name for a cat.

    I actually live in the City of Sheffield (England) and I really wouldn’t want to be named after it!

    no wonder he looks so annoyed…

  38. Sheffield, city of steel.

    Um, steely looks, perhaps?

    Shaving because of matted fur = fine
    Shaving because you think kitteh will be cooler = sillee

  39. Mary (the first) says:

    He looks a bit like my dear departed Shadow except for the shaved part. He had looong silky fur but never needed to be shaved, thank goodness. My remaining kitteh is 18 also.. now I know what that means in hooman .. no wonder she gets grumpy sometimes.

  40. Love Sheffield (and wish he had his original fur coat as nature intended).

    HATE the caption. Enough with the violence talk and cursing!

  41. warrior rabbit says:

    @Ceejoe, I looked at all your lovely kitties, and read their blurbs, and now I want to know: What do you put in your backyard to attract all these cats?

  42. Some people don’t like lolspeak, either, dammit.

  43. wagthedogma says:

    We bought special clippers to de-mat our long-haired 15-year-old tabbeh, who pretty much stopped grooming himself back around the Clinton administration. Post-shave, he looks very much like this angry old guy. I’m thinking of dressing him up in plaid shorts and black socks and teaching him to ball up his little paw fist and yell, “Hey, you kids! Get off my lawn!” :D

  44. Or how about “I don’t belieeeeeeve it!”, wagthedogma.

  45. wagthedogma says:

    ROFL@ starling! Victor Meldrew FTW! XD

  46. My cat after he got to be about 17 couldn’t groom himself properly anymore, or just didn’t want to. I had to get him shaved too. His fur matted up so when he did take notice, he ripped huge sections off with skin. He also smelled alwful. I had to start taking him to the groomer to get him shaved.

    To those who say it’s cruel or mean. It would have been a lot meaner to let him keep yanking sections of his skin off.

  47. 18 = 88 in Cat Years.
    That’s like giving grandpa an electric lime mowhawk with glittery-gold stripes.

    Kudos to you, Mr. Sheffield.

  48. Gail (the first one) says:

    @wagthedogma: LMAO!!!!!!!!

  49. I’m 18, I’m shaved, and I will kick your a$$

    That’s what she said..

  50. :( Makes me feel sad..my Venus lived to be 18 but I had to put her down a few months ago….. and she had had a lion cut about 8 months before but not all the fur grew back to it’s original length (which was long). She was no longer kicking ass, not for a long time….
    Sorry to be a bummer. I have a new kitteh who’s orange and white like a dreamsickle, and he loves to pounce on me when I walk by! :)

  51. warrior rabbit says:

    Rooanne, you have a new luurkensproinger? Cool! Careful, the orange ones are poison! Maybe orange and white are okay, though.

  52. Sheffield's father figure says:

    As Sheffis’ father-esque figure, I can tell you that he is not really a grumpy cat–he gets into the SheffisZone. This applies to grooming (3 licks to the forearm followed by the stare you have become familiar with followed by 3 more licks). This places him in the “not self-groomlickating” category and so he either gets baths or lion cuts to eliminate the seafood fiesta smell when he climbs into bed. The Zone also applies to nicknames and eating. He will focus on you intently serious until he moves onto his next activity. He is a very serious cat–so serious that we believe he is operating a joint real-estate venture with Del Webb while we are at work.

  53. Sheffield’s mom here…
    The cut was recommended by the vet, he takes an iv regularly… This cat is sitting in the sunshine and is seriously blissed out. Serious? Yes he is. Angry? No he’s not. Worshipped? I bow to his every whim. He is a very happy guy.

  54. evil kitty!

  55. Now dat’s some handsums!

  56. Daphne Moss says:

    It’s sweet, how many people had kitties like this. My beautiful Puffy looked like this, even to same face, except he had reddish highlights toh is fur. I miss him so, and this make me smile!

  57. I have a kittyperson who is also 18. I tried to register her to vote after her last birfday but they won’t let me. *sigh* And actually, that’s 94-96 in human years according to the vet. :)

  58. wagthedogma says:

    @Sheffield’s pet parents — You guys are hilarious! And life in the rarefied SheffiZone sounds like a trip. I smell book deal! (Or is that just Seafood Fiesta…) :)

  59. Heh, lilly, that’s what I was gonna say, dammit.

    Oh, Sheffield’s lackeys, keep an eye on him. The way the real estate market is now, he might get a bit TOO serious.

  60. Terrific name for your cat. He actually looked like a Sheffield as kitten? That is a cat with gravitas!

  61. OMG. The bootifulness stuns me. Wow. What gorgeousness. :)

  62. turbofloof says:

    Guh! Looks just like my Zed. Who lazes about the [very air conditioned] house in the 100 degree Texas summer days as if in total agony. He does his best Scarlett O’Hara impression of utter distaste for the “swelterin’ heat” as he sips Catnip Julips.

    I would shave him without question, except that he’s a transgendered drag queen who is so proud of every hair on his body, he’d literally “dyeh, jus DYEH, if his gore-jus locks were to be sheareh-ed by those dreadful clippeh-s. Mah hay-re is mah crowin’ glor-ee!”

    RuPaul’s got a thing or two to learn from Zed… and, the lesson begins with “no matter how distasteful it makes you feel – looking good is its own reward…”

  63. Not the worst amount of shaving. When I first glanced at it I didn’t even notice. At least he’s not bald shaving. When I see shaved dogs too (unless it’s for a surgical or medical procedure, obvy), I just want to smack someone.

  64. turbofloof says:

    **PS, then he pukes up black hair-flavored hairballs all over the carpets – not the tile or hardwood, the carpets.

    Now that I think more on it, next year may be a shaving year for Mr. Zed….**

  65. turbofloof-maybe you can do it small amount by small amount? Just and idea. I know the kind of cat, my Farrah, a blonde Persian, with very long hair was just soooooooo bored with my apartment- she conned my Dad. My Dad built her a cat pole with carpeting-it was a piece of art- she was a Grand Dame- ooooooh, the cattitude! I trimmed her with the scissors little by little until she was somewhat shorter-haired (furballs), but could talk care of herself without the wonderful “gkaghk”-ing and meadow muffins.

  66. That’s pretty much the standard look from my 14 yr old black kitty. All his life has been one long disapproval.

  67. turbofloof says:

    “Meadow Muffins” – hilarious!

    Yeah, cat shaving is one aspect of kitteh care that I have yet to fully research. I’m inclined to agree that the “little by little” approach may be the way to go.

  68. I do the same A$$ kicking look, daily.

    Speaking of A$$ kicking, it looks like its time for my humans to get one!

    Excuse me….(evil laughter)

  69. Sheffield’s father figure – thanks for the update! Sounds like he’s as much of a character as the picture implies.

    I’ve been tempted to invest in one of those Pet Flowbee things for my Maine Coon cat Mississippi, but she hates loud noises.

  70. Why did you shave her/him!

  71. sheff'sgrandma says:

    Sheff’s grandma here… I was just visiting Sheff and his Mom and father-esqe figure last week, and I can tell you he is one looooooved kitty kat, and deserves every bit of it! What he lacks in grooming skills, he makes up for in total coolness, and don’t let that serious face fool you—the slightest scratch behind the ears sets off his purr motor. He’d be allowed in bed despite the seafood fiesta smell I’m sure, but I have a long-haired cat myself, and I know how uncomfortable it can be for her when she is matted; shaving is a much kinder option than brushing for a cat that hates brushing.

    And Sheffield is a totally cool name for a big black cat!

    I miss you Sheff and you are seriously cute overload!

  72. Turbofloof: “Transgendered drag Queen” LMAO. I have a long haired Tux (Stanley) I am afraid his deafault mode is “Durr” He’s just a big Teddy Bear.

  73. Sir Hops A lot says:

    The force, is strong with me.

  74. turbofloof-get yourself some sharp scissors meant for cutting peoplehair and don’t use them for anything else especially paper, which will dull them in a zecond.
    Good luck-chances are he won’t feel or notice a thing and that awful ‘post shaving shame’ can be eliminated! Good luck.

  75. Oh wow, oh wow! I lived with Sheffield and Michaela and Sheffield’s 2 siblings about 7 years ago! I miss them all SO much! I clearly remember one morning, Michaela discovered that Sheffield had barfed in all of her shoes: I swore I would never have a long-haired cat. Now, not only does my long-haired Pip barf on my rugs regularly and with projectile power, he poops with great disdain on any hard surface whenever I leave the house for too long. Fortunately, my dog likes to eat it all.

    Michaela, my friend, I love you! I just discovered this site, and I haven’t talked to you in ages.

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