Our Five Finalists Face the Essay Question

"… and the first question goes to Miss Chickasawhatchee, Melita Jane Hoofnagle:  One-fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

'And furthermore, um ... moo?'

I think we have our Miss Congeniality, Beth S.



  1. Mooo Cows and they are so adorable…. They must be from Cowlifornia. Cause Cowlifornia Cows are happy cows! Snicker!

  2. That’s craziness.

  3. wanna smile did you clickety click on NTMTOM’s link … it is funny… poor girl got flustered.

  4. Seems tome the make-up peeps for these contestants need to be fired – the moocows all have swirls of blush on their foreheads!! *pets their soft widdle noses*

  5. mooez and puppeh. two qtes that are qte together. 🙂

  6. Oh Thank God (or whatever)… a new post.

  7. She lied. She’s really from CRAWFORD. Right?

  8. Gail (the first one) says:

    Since the Olympics are on, maybe these are the members of the US Cow 100m Relay Team, getting the the final instructions from “Coach”?

    Love the moo-cows….look at the knobbily little knees and the intense concentration!!

  9. Do-over!


  10. Is that… is that the real-life Moof, the dogcow from the early days of Macintosh OS? Can it be??

  11. Anne Boleyn says:

    jmuhj, YOU are too funny. High Five to you on that one!

  12. do the pink paints on their forehead mean something?

  13. Happy, uh, like, birthday to uh, you know, Teho?

  14. What?

  15. 4 Frisians, a Jersey and a dog walk into a bar …

    Erm …

  16. starling- and then a rabbi and priest walk in. The rabbi says “I think we’re in the wrong joke”.

  17. It looks like their foreheads have been shaved. Maybe they were doing a skin patch test of some sort.
    Oh, and awwwwww.

  18. dharlan1too says:

    “Erma”, says the dog to the Jersey, “watch me make my moves on the…”

  19. Helen-Anne Mertsching says:

    Funny, when I read the words, I was sure they would be attributed to Dub-Ya. I guess he has relatives we haven’t heard about out there.

  20. Hey, if a president answers a question that way, then yeah, it’s pretty sad. But I don’t expect brilliance from beauty queens (any more than I would from any other random person). I don’t need my nuclear physicists to model swimsuits, either. I bet that girl could answer a question about makeup and where to apply vaseline that would put Stephen Hawking to shame.

    That having been said, a little education and public speaking training never hurt.

    Nice call, NTMTOM…and I also like the subversive implication that we are leading our beauty queens to a kind of intellectual slaughter. (Note: I do not suggest that beauty queens nor prize-winning cows SHOULD be slaughtered, just that NTMTOM is drawing a compelling parallel).

  21. MOO-COWS!

  22. scooterpants says:

    mee thinks its cuz they hav no sentzch-o- hoomor.
    an they dummm. 🙂 happy happy joy joy….
    lovin this

  23. Happy birthday Theo!

  24. Beth (in NC) says:

    YES!!! You totally wrote out the whole script! Now I can MEMORIZE IT!!!!!!! 😀

  25. the other Brenda says:

    Cows are such peaceful animals. I could sit and watch them for hours (a stress reliever).

  26. I don’t get it.

  27. When vets and farmers vaccinate or test a whole herd of cows they mark each one as they go along so they know who’s been tested already. That’s probably what the forehead “blush” is for.

  28. Totalee Puppy says:

    The winning cow gets the honor of wearing a necklace of zinnias and delivering three quarts of
    cream cheese to Theo along with gift-cards for No-Bleen Bagels and Marmalades


  30. Nom Tom: Another display of brilliance. To extrapolate this “story” from this picture, pure genius, or a bit clever.

    Anyhoo, Miss Hoofnagle’s reply continued. “um er, wait a minute, did you say US. what I’m American, and you know not Chinese or anything sortof well kinda not Welsh,oh come on, next you’ll be saying I’m a Calf or Cow type thing or something” giggle snort.

  31. “No-Bleen Bagels”… I like that idea.

  32. “I don’t need my nuclear physicists to model swimsuits, either”

    That is absolutely either the best or the worst mental image EV-AR.

  33. Boy, she really milked that for all it was worth…

  34. Such as.

  35. Literally trying to sniff out the bullsh**.

  36. NutherDeb says:

    It must be the “blonde” Jersey speaking!

  37. I can’t wait for the talent competition.