The ALL-KNOWING KITTEH

Look, I didn’t ASK for this kitten to see through to my soul, OK? It just does.

It can see my innermost thoughts… it can tell me my innermost feelingks!

It knows I left the iron on, it knows I stole candy cigarettes from Bergmann’s department store in fourth grade and that I haven’t been to the dentist in five years—HALP!

Intense

No one is safe, Maureen C.! NO ONE!

What does this kitteh see about YOU!?

Comments

  1. Juniper Jupiter says:

    Bleen!

  2. Juniper Jupiter says:

    Oh…and SQUEE!!! OMG!! KITTEH!!! WANT WANT WANT!!!

    >^.^<

  3. You didn’t ACTUALLY steal, did you Meg?!

    Oh, and, EEEEKITTEHHOMGHJEKSDHFJDHSJK!!!!!

  4. And then you discovered that candy cigarettes were *nasty*, didn’t you? Instant karma. So, no worries, you’re square with the house.

  5. my last thought before this kitteh took over my brain, is that i want to pop it in my mouf like a snowball.

  6. MandaBain says:

    It’s saying to me “Hey, my eyes are up HERE. You’re trying to kees my teeniest of peenk moufs through teh monitor. I’m not just some piece of meat…”
    *Sigh* Sorry Wise Kitteh. You deserve more respect. *Hangs head in shame*

  7. wagthedogma says:

    Bless me, kitteh, for I have sinned. It’s been two weeks since a sweet wittle all-seeing kitteh stared straight through my soul and made me spill my guts. I looked at puppeh pr0n (Shi-tzu-on-Shrek action). I wondered what wine one serves with schnauzer brains. And I spent way too much time on cuteoverload.com laughing my tushie off instead of working. Would you consider giving me five Pom belleh snorgles, two squeeeeees and a pasickie as my penance, O fuzzy omnipotent one??

  8. i got no legs, i got no legs. i got no legs, i got no legs.

  9. Wag, you are a wag. :)

  10. Erebella says:

    I poked a badger with a spoon. Can I have five Hail Marys and two Hello Dollys?

  11. Hon Glad says:

    Oh all seeing kitty, you know I used to pull spiders legs off and stamp on them, when I was a child, that I tried my first cigarrete at 10 and used to wack my self off at every and any opportunity from age 12.
    Mea Culpa Mea maxima Culpa.

  12. Catsquatch says:

    Kitteh knows that I have bad dreams about being overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to organize in my house, and that I crave chocolate every second of every day, and that Im still smoking in private.

    Good thing he cant talk ;D

  13. ThreeCatNight says:

    I know what you are thinking. I can see into your mind, your heart, and your SOUL. My gaze penetrates; my mouth purses disapprovingly. The truth will out. I am just like sodium pentathol in a cute,furry package. You will soon admit all.
    Then you will give me a treat.

  14. Angela-Eloise says:

    Look at kitteh’s cute fishy necklace! She is adorned, as all dieties should be.

  15. I stole toilet paper from work (2 rolls). I never answer the phone if I think my mother is calling. I don’t change the oil in my car often enough. I’ll take two lashes from the kitteh’s paw.

  16. All hail the all-knowing kitteh! *bowing down in front of kitteh, who then bats my hair*

    I promise to scoop your litterbox, feed you, and SNORGLE YOU every day — pleeeeeze don’t tell what I did last summer! =^.^=

  17. Precious kitty is not reading your thoughts. She is reading your capacity for falling in love with her adorableness. And I have fallen in love with her. KER THUD

  18. GreedySkunk says:

    This kitty knows that I will watch the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics tonight. I will be envious of the athletes, but still I will eat ice cream.

    Erebella-Just have a Bloody Mary and you’ll forget all about it. Cake or death?

  19. DumBunny says:

    KBinTo: Answer the phone, not haveing had a Mother for the last 45 yrs, you will regreat it VERY much later.

    (Now see what the all knowing kitten has done.)

  20. @wag – O fuzzy omnipotent one made me snort!

    Kitty it trying to convince me to ditch work, go home and snorgle!

  21. “I gots no legs but I gots the Fuuzzz.”

    KBinTo-Answer your phone or get an answering machine. There is no excuse. My Mom is gone, too. DON’T fill up an guilt blackboard that you won’t be able to erase.

    I forgave my Mom the last three years of my life- and I have no regrets at all. Really.

  22. No one told me kitten loaf was on the menu today!! I just had lunch! Guess I can make room though. Don’t know which one is better – the all knowing eyes or the super pink leeps!!

  23. Erebella says:

    GreedySkunk – I knew someone would recognize that!

    I’ll take death, please. No wait, cake cake cake! I’m lucky you’re the Church of England.

    You wanna rack a baby? We got babies on racks! I love Eddie!!!!

  24. Hon Glad says:

    Erebella: Every time I read “two Hello Dollys, I just crack up.

  25. Sarah F. says:

    My, Erebella, what an original sin you have!

  26. oaklandcat says:

    OMG I used to go to Bergmann’s!11!!

  27. Erebella says:

    OH I JUST LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

  28. Hon Glad says:

    Hey peeps! it’s Friday night here and my freinds will arrive from Sweden.
    There will be mutchly celerbratink and drinkink and eatink. Vacha good.

  29. scooterpants says:

    I stole my candy cigarettes at the 88 cent store.
    and i thought they were FABULOUS! (as was i at the time)
    I love the all-seeing all- knowing kitteh.

  30. Oh I left the computer and when I came back this little guy was staring me in the face… praise the Lord for cuteoverload… my mood just shot up! :) :) :)

  31. I do answer Mom’s calls, eventually (we’ve been talking almost every Sunday since 1973). I just hate talking on the phone, not just to her. I don’t need an answering machine — I get my voicemail messages online. Bless me, kitteh, for I continue to sin.

  32. Paunchie says:

    she has white eye liner on! and perfect little weeskhairs!

  33. Hon Glad says:

    Friends I mean friends not freends or fiends. Geesh, such a basic mistook.

  34. catablob says:

    Oh boy, resistance is futile!

  35. Yitzysmommie says:

    Bless me, Orangey Kitteh, for I have sinned. You knowest that my largest compooter file is all either CO or ICHC; you knowest that I almost replaced my desktop background pix of my kids with your pic, for goodness’ sake; you knowest that I wisheth to skippeth worketh todayeth and noodle on the compootaheth….

  36. The eyes. THE EYES!!!

  37. Why and how are kitties so expressive?

  38. Anastasia Beaverhausen says:

    candy cigarettes are *awesome*, not “nasty” as some (clearly crazy) person has suggested.

    also awesome is God-Emperor Kitteh.

  39. Kitty Slipper!! Need another to complete the pair.

  40. Thanks for all of the nice comments!! This is my kitteh, Shasta. He’s sleeping in a garbage bag right now…so much for cute…

  41. I confess!!1!
    I snorgled four 7-week old jack russell terriers today and poked their little nosies and smelled their schweeet puppy smell and let them gnaw my fingers. Ok so I kissed them too.

    What a relief.

  42. Candy cigarettes are totally awesome. Man, it’s been years since I’ve had those.

    If I told you what the kitty sees about me, well, I’d have to kill you. I don’t want to do that. ;o)

  43. I love this site!! I’ve been asking everyone at work “you!…cake or death?” all day and no one knows what I’m talking about. Then I come on here and not only to I find a fuzzy kitten head of joy but fellow Eddie fans. yay cuteoverload!

  44. Evvie's mum says:

    Catsquatch – OY VEY, me too! (In fact I’m smoking right now…but wait, it’s prayer, burning tobacco, so it’s OK, Omniscient Kitty, non?) And – I covet IBKC bebehs every day. And … {sob} I’m not martha stooo-art.

  45. He’s inserting thoughts into my head!!! Must . . open . . .can . . .of . . . .tuna . .

  46. mberkie0 says:

    omg, thee peeenk leeeps!

  47. See-into-soul kittoon sees how much I love all kittoons. *SMILE* *PURR*

  48. Elisabeth says:

    The eyes of purity and innocence see true character — they are also full of grace and divine second chance. If a wee kitty can be so inspiringly wise and gracious, we can really count on the Almighty Father-Creator to see through us, and to give us grace. After all, He invented kittens for us! Thank you, Jesus!

  49. LOVE the Eddie Izzard references. Now all I need it some underwater sexy-sexy.

  50. yankeebird says:

    Sometimes I’ll spend the day in my pajamas and not brush my teeth, if I’m not leaving the house and think I can get away with it. Please, kitteh, don’t judge me too harshly. At least I didn’t whack off as much as Hon Glad did.

  51. Eddie Izzard for the win! Cake or death! Slaptyback Fishtybuns?

    All-Knowing Kitteh Knows All… please don’t tell my mom!!

  52. There is an opera character called Die Allewissende Muschel (The All-knowing Shellfish). No kidding! SO if the shellfish can know all, I’m sure this kitty can know MORE than all.

  53. That cat just shamed me for not wearing pants. I don’t need this!

  54. Erebella says:

    Decca – because we all know that splashy-splashy is the aquatic equivalent of “Do you wanna cup of coffee?”

    Lizzy – I was thinking of that routine on my way home for lunch an hour ago – awesome! My favorite one is Klingybun Fistlebars.

    I’ve seen everyone one of Eddie’s shows except the last one, Sexie. That’s a total of 6 and I have them all on DVD. Eddie party at my place tonight!!! BYOB

  55. What the kitteh really wants to know is “Do you have a flag?” No flag no country!

    Now I’m off to have a coffee with the President of Burundi!

  56. Brak_Silverbone says:

    The all-seeing kitty knows that I desperately want to kiss his/her little precious pink nose!

  57. catloveschanel says:

    No one knows what it’s like,
    to be the sad man,
    to be the bad man,
    behind Blue Eyes.

    ***That song interrupted [srceech]***
    (too sad for such a fresh-faced red-headed kitteh.
    do do do do do- phenomenon)

    Redheads RULE!

  58. Dat kitteh sees that I am completely hypnotized and totally in love with his smooshey-face. Gah.

  59. Erebella says:

    Okay, for those of you confused by some of the comments that make no sense and mentions of someone named Eddie – go out and rent a stand-up comedy DVD/video called Dress to Kill. Funniest guy I’ve ever seen! PG rated material, intelligent, silly, but he’s English and he swears a lot. He’s also a transvestite (not just a gimmick) and is wearing a lot of makeup. If you’re okay with that then you really should watch it! Okay, plug over.

  60. Meg, I’m with you with the dentist. 5 yrs though. hee hee!

    Gorgeous kitten :)

  61. Kitteh knows that I bare-handedly pilled a cat today without getting scratched or bitten, and kitteh wants to BITE; just out of SPITE!

  62. meowandwoof says:

    Just when I think there cannot be another reason why I adore this site, up comes one! I,too,lurve Eddie and own everything on DVD. God, I love you peeps!

  63. charliewabba says:

    HISSSSS – me too. I hide them in cream cheese, and Noodle suspects nothing.
    Kitteh knows, though, and also knows about the time I couldn’t wait until I got home from the grocery store, and grabbed the ice cream out of the bag while stopped at a long red light, ripped off the top, and scooped it out with my fingers and ate it and it was soooooooo gooooooooooood.

  64. KBinTo- Just tryin’ to help, I’m sorry if I overstepped. But being a peep, you probably knew that. It’s never easy, but you are aware of that, too, I suppose. I send you and your Mom my best wishes.

    This kitteh is so pure kitteh.

  65. Such a cute face!!!

  66. Erebella says:

    Okay, clearly some of us have to get together. Does anyone live in Oklahoma? And you Eddie fans, I’d like you to e-mail me if you want (and anyone else who may be a kindred spirit based on previous comments). Should I put my addy on here? Oh sure, why not? I don’t THINK any of you are wacko stalkers/killers in disguise. Eireoakie@yahoo.com

  67. kittehpower says:

    I think it’s a boy kitteh… most marmalades/gingers are boys, actually… for some reason. I guess like the calicos and torties are usually girls. Just noting, as we seem to make the cute wee kittehs girls in our minds!

    As for me… the Wee Wise Fluff sees that I have not cleaned my apartment, nor done laundry, nor written anything besides silly comments on Cuteoverload!

  68. Daphne Moss says:

    LOL@Yankeebird:
    “Sometimes I’ll spend the day in my pajamas and not brush my teeth, if I’m not leaving the house and think I can get away with it.”
    Well, I do that and I don’t have the guts to admit it…but Shasta’s Kitteh knows! He knows!!!

  69. ok this site just TRIPLED in coolness from the eddie izzard quotes.

    AHHHHH! I’m covered in bees!

    oh and the kitteh…so round, mouf so small and pink, fur so fluffy and soft, SQUEE!

  70. elledoubleu says:

    cheeky monkey! I mean… kitteh!

  71. This cute baby sees my big face moving in for a big, wet, sloppy, smooch. I hope I don’t smooch the baby kitty brains right out of its head! That night of the humans stuff has me worried.

  72. … MUST … PAT …

  73. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    Love the pink mouf. Keeses for the beautiful kitteh.

    As far as seeing into my soul, Kitteh probably knows way too much…

  74. Oh great & all-knowing kitteh. You know I stole a marble when I was 5 years old. Forgive me.

  75. the other Brenda says:

    OK I’ll give that the candy cigs were not that great, but what about those bubble gum cigars??? Magnificent!!!!!

  76. I must hold and snuzzle the kitteh.

  77. Why does this disapproving marmie know, and will tell, that:
    1. I just ate a jelly bean, circa Tang dynasty, on my hall table — because it was there.
    2. On my iPod, in between ‘Audioslave’ and ‘Art of Noise’, is nestled [cough!] Rick Astley;
    3. I prefer licorice pipes and
    4. Now I have the ‘Shasta cola’ jingle in my head.
    Great.
    Podshame then brain worm, and NOW I want a candy cigarette, the type that’s made of corn syrup, styrofoam chips and oyster shells.
    Thanks a LOT.

  78. Never mind candy cigarettes. Kitty forgive me – I still crave lik-m-aid and gummi bears.

  79. This kitty is a solid 10. Watch out Bo Derek. Little kitty is hauntingly cute.

  80. ashagato says:

    the all-knowing ginger fuzzball knows that i almost always strip naked the minute i get home…

    and that even when i’m invited somewhere really fun, a lot of times i’d rather just stay home with the cats. (is that so wrong?)

    ps: eddie rules!!!

  81. No, Kitty, no! Stop! I promise I’ll make it right! STOP TORTURING ME WITH THESE VISIONS!

  82. candy ciggies were fun but did anyone experience the chocolate ciggies wrapped in paper? Unwrap and enjoy 95% was, 1% chocolate, 4% milk. YUM for a kid.

    Meg – no dentist in 5 years? I didn’t realize you were British.

    Because of course we all know Americans have large, white, square, chiclet teeth…because the movies tell us so.

    confession: I stold chalk from school to make hopscotches on my driveway. This was also my 1st confession at age 10. I was so ashamed I never went back *wink*

  83. argh@!

    95% was WAX.

    And notice kitteh has cute blue bell on collar?

  84. Shit. While the all-seeing, all-knowing kitteh was hacked into our brains, I think he stole our credit card numbers.

  85. Hon Glad says:

    Peeps did any of you light your candy cigareets, I did. They turned into brown toffee, yum yum, nom nom.

  86. This kitteh wants me to want him. And I do. I do.

    Signed, the late Englebert Humperdinck.

  87. SQUEEEEEEEE!!! So perfectly round!

  88. binky-mama says:

    Floofy, legless, sunkissed, round-faced kitteh- your Jedi mind tricks won’t work on me! I can resist! I…I…where am I?

    *Staggers off to Farmers Market to buy fresh organic catnip.*

  89. I printed this out and taped it to my door. This kitteh is just so full of win, cute, and snuzzle!!

  90. Gail (the first one) says:

    Oh, you peeps!!! You’re all so funny!!!!

    I wish we could have a CO convention! Maybe since we are all so scattered, with many ‘across the Pond’ as they say, we could do it via WebCam! Someone more technically advanced would have to figure out logistics, but I’d be willing to put some money towards it! Charge a couple bucks for registration and donate to charity!! Anybody else interested???

  91. So now I’ll have to light candy cigarettes, and now I’m nostalgic for British chocolate ciggies, wrapped in the thinnest possible paper that dissolved on the tongue. Camels were my preferred brand; will PETA come after me?

    No licorice pipe fans, with the red sprinkles for embers on the pipebowl?

  92. LOL to Kari: “pleeeeeze don’t tell what I did last summer! =^.^=”

    and double LOL to ThreeCatNight: “I am just like sodium pentathol in a cute,furry package”

  93. wagthedogma says:

    @Gail: There is a chatroom here, but there’s never anyone in it when I go there. (Hmm. Perhaps it’s my breath…)

  94. Weee Three Kings of Orient Are
    Trying to Smoke a Chocolate Cigar,
    It Was Loaded And Exploded…

    [BOOM!]

    …Weee Two Kings or Orient Are…

  95. charliewabba says:

    how about the dots on paper strips? We used to have contests to see who could eat them the fastest.

  96. that is truly a totally cute overload!!! I love those pretty eyes

  97. Hon Glad says:

    dub1: You have a fellow liquorice pipe fan here. The best bit was the red sprinkles part, simulating the glowing bowl of the pipe.Red hot pokers were as goood.I don’t know if you Muricans had them but Flying Saucers were a favourite. Flying saucers were discs of coloured rice paper containing sherbert.The rice paper melted in your mouth releasing the sherbert.

  98. Hon Glad says:

    Theresa: We three Kings of Liecester square,
    Selling knickers at tuppence a pair,
    No elastic,how fantastic,
    Not very safe to wear.
    Oh star of wonder star of……..

  99. roisin formerly known as ka9q's wife says:

    Ok ok you know I need to blog and look at other peeps blog so I can know every detail of their lives.

    Most importantly you know I spent my lunch money on candy from the local convenience store when I was 10 (and again when I was 24). Bless my for I have eaten chocolate instead of the nootrishush lunchable from Glen View Elementary (and Palomar Hostipal).

  100. I loved those chocolate cigarettes when I was in France! Surprisingly, a lot of people were fooled by them…

  101. moggyfan says:

    His eyes! He knows it’s after noon and I am still in my bathrobe.

    Time for a napz, okay by u, kitteh?

  102. warrior rabbit says:

    Dis kitteh knows I lied in confession because I didn’t want the priest, who knew who I was since we went grade by grade and it was a small school, to know what I did for reals. Not that what I actually did was worse — just that he’d know.

  103. @Hon Glad– HAW!

    While shepherds washed their socks by night
    All seated on the ground,
    The angel of the Lord came down,
    And passed the Lifebuoy round.

    It’s Christmas in August, peeps!

  104. Kitteh knows:

    - I slept ’til 1:15 this glorious Caturday

    - I hate every bite of food I have to eat, and I really just want to be back in the hospital’s eating disorder ward.

    - I REALLY hate my bridesmaid’s dress! (The things we do for family!)

    - My dog is my best friend.

    - Unmentionables… unmentionables… rarr.

  105. This kitten reminds me of Ben from Lost. He is saying ‘I always have a plan.’

  106. sleepily i open my eyes cause i feel someone is watching me.
    ugh! ok ok i’m up. those big blue eyes, staring at me, that
    cute face, i’m your slave and you know it.
    according to kitty, it’s time to feed the kitty again.

  107. I actually held strong and managed not to confess to the All Seeing Kitty, but then I saw his little brother on the Daily Kitten today: http://www.dailykitten.com/

    And now I am undone! I am the one who hit the nice police man with the cricket ball in practice the other day, and that was after I was given two orders of fries at Maccies and I did not return or pay for the extras, and I drank the cup of coffee in the lounge at work and did not make more. I am all truly sorry and humbly repenting and all that stuffs…

  108. Adorable kitteh loaf!

    He knows…that my hamster has escaped. Run, hammie, run!

  109. darkshines says:

    Kitty knows everything I put in my mouth hurts because I need to get my canine tooth fixed but I’m too scared.

    Kitty knows I am having doubts about my relationship.

    Kitty knows I spend all my money on ebay.

    Kitty knows, KITTY KNOWS!

  110. Oy, this is turning into PostCuteSecret.Com! :P

  111. darkshines says:

    No, Kitty, its beyond my control! Don’t make me kill myself! Aaaargh!

  112. Kitty sees that I allowed myself to have TWO pieces of the delicious and beautiful coconut meringue pie I made.

  113. Peenk Leeps! Odd-color-eyes! OMG! Can has kitteh-loaf pudding, Pls?

  114. Totalee Puppy says:

    KITTY,
    I love you, and your eyes are begging for feather-toys–MUST GET NOW, MUST GET NOW…Your eyes are all-knowing…Do you see every time I HAVE TO GO?? Oh, how embarrasing…I’m still so glad to have you for a friend–you’re the best!
    Totally Puppy

  115. My vote for “Best alternative picture caption”
    goes to “Wee wise Fluff”.
    It took all my memory to
    remember that phrase to the
    bottom of the comments, so
    I didn’t get the Wise
    Author’s name from the comment/ You Know Who You
    Were & you have my thanks.
    Yay for adorable kittens.

  116. Oh great Kitty… your soooo cute! Your big eyes are like tennis balls! Your fluffy softness is like… kitten fur! I want you!(Okay, that sounds wrong)

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