Ferrets Behaving Badly

Let’s take a look at a typical ferret life-cycle.

First, the evil, evil ferrets are borned, making squeak-toy noises

As they grow older, the innate desire to steal microphone covers begins

Ferrets try to contribute to society with janitor jobs, making music and baking muffins, but mostly end of sleeping in hammocks.

As teenagers, they tramp around as they please, mostly doing time for their sheepish attacks and selling catnip.

Then they all usually end up in BagHab.

No wonder they’re banned in California.

Comments

  1. gosh the kitty is so cute!!!

    [..."kitty"? - Ed.]

  2. First!

  3. (the original) Mel says:

    Ebil sock theeves!

  4. Aaah, that quintet has made my afternoon! Thanks CO.

  5. So purely evil that I must have one… or two along with a kitten!!!

  6. momof2kitties says:

    But…but…where was the muffin baking????

  7. Michelle says:

    heehee! the rc action on the trampoline was hilarious. But I could watch that paper bag game all day every day. :D

  8. My brother likes to say that ferrets are entropy made living.

  9. GreedySkunk says:

    Yes, my house is full of addicts. My cats need BoxHab. One also needs treatment for an eating disorder…he likes chewing on plastic bags. The ferrets are headed to BagHab. The judge gave them the mandatory sentence when they were convicted of stealing cat toys and the toilet brush. Sadly, I am an enabler, because I think their behavior is just the cutest! How can I resist waking up to cats draped over me or crazy ferrets inviting me to play? Perhaps I need PetHab.

  10. Meg- You spoil us. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time, thank you very much, oh Meg the Magnificent! Now I’ll just try to stop wheezing….totally worth it!

  11. The trampoline video made me want to “try this at home”. :O

  12. My ferrets have mastered the German martial art of Luurkenschproing. They hide behind a bookcase or under a bedskirt and lurk…lurrk….and then SCHPROING! Usually it’s the poor dog who’s being attacked.

  13. Someone call 911. Pleeeease. I’m dying. It’s inhumane to make people laugh that hard. I need oxygen…choke..choke

  14. PJ, I’d totally help you but my head has exploded. I can not get to the phone. And my ledgers may never come clean…makes for a messy client copy.

    However…..SO worth it!!!! LMAO!

  15. plaid-shirt pyrate says:

    “Luurkenschproing”

    I am *so* going to steal that! What a marvelous, perfect word for the behaviour it describes!

  16. Luurkenschproing!! A winner!

    Also what is better than ferrets on a trampoline?

  17. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    The kitty trying to keep the ferrets on either the inside or the outside of the bag… depending on where they are at the moment… *gasp* I’ve gotta come up for air, I’m laughing too much!

  18. Minutiae says:

    Oh, man… I REALLY miss my ferrets (had to give them to good homes when I moved). I had four at one point, and it really is like having brood of children. Little punks. ;)

  19. warrior rabbit says:

    I love the frolicking ferrets on the trampoline, but I also love the ferret feets in the guitar one at about 1:15-1:18.

  20. I am seriously looking into getting a ferret soon, and this totally made me pumped for the big purchase! I am glad that CO had a big ferret feature!

    And my boyfriend is looking into buying a hedgie. And there has been a lot of love on CO for that too.

    I like to think of it as a sign. =P

  21. I love how the fewwet are all “Pff!” and indifferent to the kitteh. LAWLZ! And ditto on the ferret-feet-in-the-guitar.

    Must… smuggle… ferret… to snuggle! (Stupid CA *kicks dirt indignantly*)

  22. Oh, SURE. It’s all funny and stuff, until the roommate comes home and finds her guitar ALL FULL OF EVIL FERRET DOO-DOO! Deesgustingks. And sho shmelly.

  23. i lol’d at all the videos, but was more in shock at the first video as i couldn’t believe all those kits. their mama must have been run ragged feeding and weaning them!

    Speaking of kits, have you all seen the kit at the National Zoo? It wasn’t that long ago CO posted the link to the cam and when I first saw it it was like this wee white wormy squirmy thing, and now it is this “hey, i’m outta here, see ya!” teenager. wonder how much longer the zoo will keep mum and kit together, it’s almost 2 months since it was born. thanks to co for bringing such cuteness to our lives! :-)

  24. Luurkenschproing should ideally have the umlaut over the second u, but I can’t figure out how to make that work….

  25. muttluver says:

    The guitar one was funny til the ferret got in… then I started thinking of how much I’d panic if I were in an enclosed space and couldn’t get out. But, I’m not a ferret, and that’s just me…

    Loved the microphone-cover-stealing one. Too funny!

    Oh, and I loved the kitty. He was all, Pounce! And the ferrets were all, Whatev’s.

  26. So sad that ferrets are banned in some states. They were domesticated in Egypt even before cats were–why ban an animal so adorable? Sure, they’re perpetual 2-year-olds in knee-sock-with-eyes bodies, but they bring so much joy.

    To anyone thinking of getting a ferret, remember that they have two speeds: high and off.

  27. Also banned in NYC, I’ve been told (I think Giuliani had something to do with it).

    I love the last video with the kitten. Thing in a bag! MUST ATTACK!

  28. Seriously, from a cat’s perspective, what could possibly be more fun than a bag full of ferrets?

    LOL!!!

  29. LuurkenschproingLuurkenschproingLuurkenschproingLuurkenschproing

  30. AuntieMame says:

    Mel2, here you go:

    Luürkenschproing

    (It’s Alt-129 on your PC.)

  31. also banned on youtube apparently :(

  32. sweeeeeet nevermind :)

  33. The SALE of ferrets is banned in California, but if you buy one out of state, you can keep it.

  34. @[Ed]: The kitty in #5.

  35. I dunno, Shady. Seems tenuous.
    Considering there’s ferrets in all three.
    ;)

  36. (five, sir)

  37. That was like a dateline documentary on a ferrets long road down into the decline of bag addiction.

    Next week on Dateline we follow a ktteh trying to stay clean in a house full of shoeboxes.

  38. This is why I love my fuzzies :D

    I have 6 and they’re all insane. Just yesterday evening they were bouncing around the garden dooking at eachother.

  39. Sarah, for the love of all that is holy-get a guitar, too, ok? (insertsmileyfacehere).

  40. Luurkenschproing is what my tux cat does to my long-suffering tortie (and to my ankles). It’s the perfect word for animals.

  41. Vitani, alas, that’s not true. The sale, breeding, and keeping of ferrets is banned in California. Only zoos and organizations with a special license to keep “wild animals” for educational purposes may legally own them in California. Lots of people have them, but it’s technically illegal and they can be confiscated.

    But they sure are cute! I loves my ferts! *snorgle*

  42. Haha, but who ever checks?

  43. Luurkenschproing! Hilarious! But to nitpick: With the double-u, it’s probably a Finnish martial art; German doesn’t have that. Lürkenschaproing, on the other hand, would look about right :-)

  44. Wow, total ferret cuteoverload x5!!!! *dies happy* :D

  45. @Alexis, Giuliani did indeed.
    The conversation about ferrets that Rudy had with a caller to his weekly radio show, is part of city legend. “This excessive concern with little weasels is a sickness.” :P

  46. Ah, Björn, methinks if it were Finnish it would be Luukkenschppproinginen, no?
    Norwegian- maybe, help me our hey-h,
    lokkennsproneddensatte-or something like that?
    This could be very fun. We need a Luurkenschproing! video set and a new category!

  47. Hon Glad says:

    Shame we couldn’t hear the sounds from the guitar. I’m sure it would have been like a John Cage composition.

  48. Hon Glad says:

    Oh and Giuliani probably had a bad experience with a ferret, when he picked one up, thinking it was his toupe.

  49. @Katrina:

    French – Lourque-cheproigne

    Italian – Lurchino-ciapprognetto

    Spanish – Lorcohoppatoro
    (the Spanish form of this ancient art has been refined by steer fighters hiding behind the boards lining the arena, waiting for the right moment to pounce the steer)

  50. Jenn in IL says:

    Okay, the ferrets are preciously cute and funny and sneaky and adorabuhls, but I also am in love with the kitty. First he’s all, “This is MY bag, you can’t be in it!” and the ferrets are all “Step aside, Sassy McGreedy, we want to play in the bag, too.” and kitteh’s all, “Harumph…fine…but now I will ATTACK YOU!”

    Hesitantly done kitteh paw swipes make my head essplode.

  51. One of out cats luurkenschproings the other all the time. They’re female, about the same age. Sometimes Teggie sill sit in a corner for a very long time, apparently waiting for Milky to enter the room so she can even prepare to pounce. The other night, poor Milky had about three trips to the litterbox postponed because Teggie was sitting in the closet where the box is, apparently getting ready to get ready (yes, I meant that) to pounce.

  52. Cheese and Crackers, Glix, you are going to have yourself one constipated cat there, don’tcha know…

    Björn- so multilingual-polyglot, even-that is just too hysterically funny, I’m tearing up again, just after I stopped crying over Chritian and his Lion- how ironic is it to have a lion named “Christian”?

    In the Roman Collesium–
    Commentor_
    “And here comes Christian”-

    “No,” says the second commentor, “That’s a lion”

    “That’s what I said”..

    a real “Who’s on First routine!
    Well I can hear it anyway…

    Oh, gawd, did I just make a religion joke- (not yelling, just for emphasis shhhsh)
    IT IS A LIGHTHEARTED ROMP, peeps!

  53. @Glix, anyone who doesn’t think cats have a sense of humor has never seen one cat ambush another in the litterbox.

    I didn’t say an Oscar Wilde/GB Shaw kind of sense of humor, but a sense if humor nonetheless. ;)

  54. @Hon Glad, I would say it was the ferret that had the bad experience. :P

  55. elle doubleu says:

    :cries!: I want ferrets and hedgehog, but live in the evil state of California.

  56. a few years back I babysit a little girl when she got home from school.
    The family had two ferrets. Their daughter Debbi would be sitting on the floor coloring and the little beggars would grab a crayon and take off with it.They even managed to get up on the kitchen table so then she moved over to the kitchen counter.
    Seeing the ferrets trying to work out how to get up on the counter and seeing their happy faces,and hearing their squeals of joy when they succeeded made it impossible to be mad with them.
    We bought her a box with a lid for her crayons.That worked only until the ferrets discovered
    by accident that making the box fall off the counter broke the box and
    ta da victory to the ferrets.
    They are like little bitty foxes,very crafty.
    Soon after they had brought
    them home from the pet store the ferrets came up missing and were lost
    some where in the house.
    After a hour of frantic searching they called the pet store. He said check under the beds and see if there is a hole in the bottom of any of the the mattress. There was. And there were the two ferrets sleeping soundly up inside the mattress.
    Ferrets are also great at flatting out their bodies.
    I have seen them slip under doors that have only an inch
    of clearance.
    Ferrets are crafty, funny little clowns, and so sweet an lovey.

  57. Ahahaha! That ferret slipping into the guitar is adorable! I’d have a hard time not picking it up and trying to play it with him in there (but not loudly of course :P).

  58. Rukia and Hon Glad the music that came from that experiment would be preferable to most I hear now. There is a pun about John Cage and a ferret cage in there somewhere, but I can’t seem to find it now.

    I do like the idea of the ferret in the guitar- a children’s story perhaps? Or a ferret and a cello?

    Alex- what a darling story about the little girl, the crayons and the ferrets- and the mattress, too! Thanks so much for sharing that!

  59. Pet bans really need to be taken seriously. It isn’t that your neighbours or friends will report you, it is that vets HAVE to. Ferrets, like most pets, do require medical attention (some very serious) and vets can lose their lisence if they don’t report that someone has brought one to them in a banned area.
    It is never safe to have a banned animal, stick to the accepted ones to prevent heartbreak.

  60. Vanessa- I couldn’t take a 3-kit litter of orphaned skunks. They were adorable and all, but the life they would lead and my life would have been very different. I was sad, and I remember it to this day, but I’m glad I didn’t do it. I could have done some real damage if they had had rabies or another disease.
    All domesticated animals need vet care-or you are abusing your animal, (Now watch the arguments begin!)

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