Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Borneo, where they filmed either Survivor or Gilligan’s Island, I always get those two mixed up, there was a Cuteologist named Maya A. One fine day, as Maya was walking through a rainforest so mysterious and remote that it didn’t even have a Jamba Juice yet, she encountered one of the clever forest gremlins who disguised themselves as seed pods to avoid anthropologists and bill collectors.
Quick as a wink, Maya scooped him up. "I will grant you three wishes," said the gremlin as he struggled, "but you must promise to release me, and give me a …
"C.O. EXTREME CLOSE-UP!!!!"
"Whoa there, Spielberg — not that close. Back it up a little."
"Yeah, that works. Okay, back to the three wishes. Naturally, there’s some fine print, so listen up: First, no wishing for more wishes; I saw Aladdin too, smartypants, so don’t embarrass yourself. Second, Pierce Brosnan’s married, so just deal with it. And finally, if you wish for an iPhone, there’s a three-week wait plus an activation charge."
All rightie then, fellow cuteaholics — what would YOUR three wishes be?