Why you, I oughta …

"Put me down, ya big palooka!  I’ll moidalyze ya!  I’ll tear ya limb from limb!  I’ll add your e-mail address to hundreds of herbal Viagra mailing lists!  Put’em up, put’em U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-UP!!"

'And get a manicure, willya? We like our nails neat here.'

Better do like the man says, Johanna S.

Comments

  1. he looks a bit shell-shocked, hur hur hur…..

  2. starling says:

    Herbal Viagra, eh. Looks like he means business.

  3. He wants mashed po-ta-to mountain.

  4. Ok, weird

    It says there are 2 comments here.

  5. Oh, there they are!

  6. Your gettin finger prints on this cherry finish yo! Better have some Turtle Wax to go with those paws.

  7. What a sweetie! I got my red ear Frank when he was already big- I never saw him in ‘puppy’ mode.

  8. Who else wants to kiss that tummy shell like kur-razy? Muah!

  9. chanpon says:

    ehn..ehn….ehn

  10. A million years ago, in our first year away at college, a high-school friend and I collapsed laughing over a letter his dad sent him– his pair of backyard turtles had produced a batch of wee little baby turtles, and (this being before the days of digital cameras, teh Interwebs and e-mail) Dad took the turtlings to his office on a weekend and XEROXED them.

    My friend carried that carefully folded page of four turtle undercarriages in his wallet for years…

  11. J. Bo, I love that image. I especially like imagining the friend’s dad having to say to himself over and over, “Remember not to slam the copier lid!”

  12. BeanSidhe says:

    I bow to the hovertext.
    and OMGTURTLE!!!!111!!

  13. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    Xeroxed turtles!! I love it!

  14. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    Xeroxed turtles!! I love it!

  15. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    Xeroxed turtles!! I love it!

  16. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    Xeroxed turtles!! I love it!

  17. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    Xeroxed turtles!! I love it!

  18. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    Xeroxed turtles!! I love it!

  19. k. o'dee says:

    Pokes turkle belleh! *poke* *poke* *poke* And now, I have fingerprints on my screen. Ah, well.

  20. k. o'dee says:

    Pokes turkle belleh! *poke* *poke* *poke* And now, I have fingerprints on my screen. Ah, well.

  21. k. o'dee says:

    Pokes turkle belleh! *poke* *poke* *poke* And now, I have fingerprints on my screen. Ah, well.

  22. k. o'dee says:

    Pokes turkle belleh! *poke* *poke* *poke* And now, I have fingerprints on my screen. Ah, well.

  23. k. o'dee says:

    Pokes turkle belleh! *poke* *poke* *poke* And now, I have fingerprints on my screen. Ah, well.

  24. k. o'dee says:

    Pokes turkle belleh! *poke* *poke* *poke* And now, I have fingerprints on my screen. Ah, well.

  25. fish eye no miko says:

    KAWAAAAIIIIIII!!!

  26. Look at those tiny clawlettes! Love it!

  27. I love J.Bo’s story- what a really neat Dad! And what a neat person to carry the image for years. Just great!

  28. lambkin28 says:

    I had a little red-eared snapper about that big when I was a kid. Inexplicably I named it Fluffer.

    Yes, I know what “Fluffer” means now, but I didn’t back then.

  29. catablob says:

    Lovely.
    Almost as good as the long ago post of a teeny turtle emerging crabbily from his shell.
    Eh! Eh!Eh!Eh!

  30. He needs a tiny cheeseburger costume.
    With a pickle hat.

  31. Aww. He is absolutely kronschable.

    But remember, kids! Never leeck or kiss turtles, cause they can have the salmonella! Instead, stroke their adoramable tum tums. ^.^

  32. J.Bo, that’s great! I hope someone still has a copy of that somewhere.

    Wow…remember when photocopiers were exciting technology?

  33. Nicolletta says:

    Teeny Tiny Turtle Feets!!! *dies*

  34. Hellphyre says:

    Speaking of Salmonella, we had 2 turtles (turtlettes?) of that size. Brought ‘em up as carry-on a from Fla. in Dec. Incidentally, their names were Sam and Ella.

  35. Jewelia says:

    hmmmm he kinda looks like Raphael.
    Turtle Power!

  36. fish eye no miko says:

    Jewelia said: “hmmmm he kinda looks like Raphael.”

    Teeny Mutant Ninja Turtle…?

  37. OMG sumwan alreddi did tihs tew mii! An ai didden evun diss de toituhl! Ai LURVES teh toituhl!

  38. Jewelia says:

    lol yes! Total Raphael tude. TeenyMNT!
    Go Ninja Go Ninja go!
    \http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFLGRidfFo4

  39. Why don’t you try picking on someone in your own league:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/27843799@N03/2601084087/

  40. Yitzysmommie says:

    Call me dumb, but I have never even thought about teensy tinesy turtelettes. Makes sense they’d have a baby version.

  41. It is probably redundant to say “ahhhhh, cute”, but… “Ahhhhh cute!”

  42. Aww, I want a fingernail-sized turtle! How adorable.

  43. Balamuthia says:

    Must…have….teeny turtlio!

  44. Awww…I just want to reach out and touch that tiny little turtle neck, turtles necks are so soft. What a cutie pie.

  45. I don’t comment that often, but this one had me goin’. The pic is teh qte, of course, but the *text* is what had me rollin’ in the aisles.

    “I’ll moidalyze ya!” Great!

    All he needs is a teeny tiny fedora to go with that, and that would be perfect!

  46. Ok – am I the only one here who found it amusing that after the viagra comment he said: ‘Put ‘em up!’ *snicker*

    Yeah, I’m immature.

  47. @lily: Then wash your hands!

    Too cut though, I lurves me some turtle.

  48. Nothin’ like an adorable baby turtle first thing in the mornin’ =3

  49. I didn’t know turtles can carry salmonella. I thought it was from eating undercooked meat (I’m vegetarian,so I figured I didn’t have to worry). I used to kiss my turtle Frankie all the time! On his little head, on that spot between his eyes.Maybe you can build an immunity to it or something because I never got sick.

  50. jessimocha says:

    i also used to kiss my little julie boy when i was a kid (by the way.. julie’s still going strong at 20 years old!)

    nads, the thing is, ALL animals can carry salmonella. that’s right, even little rover and fluffy the cat. the reason turtles have such a bad rep is in the ’60′s they became a fad pet, and children not knowing better were putting the little guys in their mouths! that’s why it’s now illegal to sell turtles with a shell length of under 4″ (this law is not enforced, there are hundreds of little baby turtles being sold every year from pet stores)

    i love this little guy! he’s a painted turtle, my sister and i had two, one named fish cuz the shape on her belly looked like a fishy *grin*

  51. jessimocha says:

    i also used to kiss my little julie boy when i was a kid (by the way.. julie’s still going strong at 20 years old!)

    nads, the thing is, ALL animals can carry salmonella. that’s right, even little rover and fluffy the cat. the reason turtles have such a bad rep is in the ’60′s they became a fad pet, and children not knowing better were putting the little guys in their mouths! that’s why it’s now illegal to sell turtles with a shell length of under 4″ (this law is not enforced, there are hundreds of little baby turtles being sold every year from pet stores)

    i love this little guy! he’s a painted turtle, my sister and i had two, one named fish cuz the shape on her belly looked like a fishy *grin*

  52. platedlizard says:

    Actually,that law IS enforced, I got to see someone busted in January of this year at a Reptile Expo for selling undersized turtles! I didn’t know Oregon Fish and Wildlife could make arrests without a policeman, but apparently they can!

    If you see someone selling undersized turtles I think you call the health department or Fish and Wildlife (since if they’re selling undersized turtles they might be selling an illegal species, too).

    The exception to the size-rule are sulcata tortoises, because their shell has a hump that’s too big for an infant to stick in their mouth. Those can be sold as hatchlings.

    While most animal species can carry salmonella, reptiles are more likely too. About 80% of all captive reptiles carry salmonella, which is why you can never assume your pet doesn’t have it. Wild reptiles are a different story, though.

  53. “Your father is a cat, and your mother smells of elderberries! Now put me down, or I shall taunt you a SECOND time!”

  54. My grandma’s next door neighbor raised and sheltered desert tortoises in southern New Mexico, and there’d be babies around all the time. I loved them. :) Sadly Mr. Mills is in a nursing home now, and I don’t see as many tortoises around anymore when I go to visit.

  55. cheweys mom says:

    my husband got our turtle J.R. when he was the size of a quarter. He found him when he was rollerblading near the Charles river over 10 years ago. J.R. is now the size of a saled plate and loves to watch TV. (he prefers hocky an baseball). He slaps the water when you walk by his tank when he wants you to play with him (yes he likes to play). we have tried to see if J.R. and chewey will play together but the turtle will have nothing to do with the dog. (maby its just an older brother thing).. By the way my husband is convinced J.R. is a girl but im sure he is a boy.. you can tell by the dent in his bottom shell.

  56. Haha @ Russel Miller- but wasn’t it a hamster?

  57. Dat’s oh-so cuute!!! id’nt he?? yesh he is! YESH HE IS!

  58. Am I the only one to think…

    BABY GAMERA!!!

  59. I have a friend who found a turtle that size on the street in a rain storm. She named him Stray Hank, took him (later turned out to be a her, so, Henrietta) home, and now she’s the size of a dinner plate. Turtle power!!!

  60. JBo, that’s a sweet story!

    This little fellow is CUTE! Is he a painted turtle, or a terrapin?

  61. I agree with Hannah. The tiny turtlette is darling, but the 40s-movie-gangster lingo always cracks me up! It’s my favorite movie-created fake language ever — and you do it justice! Thanks for a good laugh this morning :D

  62. I had two red eared slider turtles for 6 years. I got them (basically rescued) from this idiot woman who brought them up from a creek in Florida back to her officemates here in MD. Suffice it to say that most people do not want a small turtle thrust on them as a present, so I took two of them. They were the size of half dollars. 6 years, a 75 gallon tank and much use of a wet vac later, I decided that these turtles really did need to live where they belonged, so I sent Spot and Brouhaha to a lady in Florida who does turtle rescue. It was the strangest thing to pack a turtle the size of my hand in a tupperware bowl with wet papertowels and air holes…and THEN put him in a box to be shipped overnight!!! The lady sent pictures that they had arrived just fine and I am sure they are living happily ever after where they belong.
    Brouhaha got his name because both turtles were boys (and I saw Turtle Penis! In fact, they were trying to do what they would normally do to precreate and it surprised the heck out of me. Came right out of his tail!! I of course ran around screaming to my husband, “Turtle Penis! I saw Turtle Penis!!” )
    Anyway… cute turtle. :o)

  63. o.m.g. baby turtle!!! awww mush mush muuuuush!

    this totally makes my day awesome. auto-awesome switch has been flipped. :D

  64. MissusVeeZee says:

    Hooray! More cold and slimeys!

  65. Okay, Kris– as if naming a turtle “Brouhaha” weren’t hilarious enough, I’m now giggling like a demented 9-year-old and muttering “turtle penis!” to myself…

  66. As the Talking Cat would say “Why I eyes ya!” LOL

  67. Ok…I work at the front desk of our local library and just got griped at for being too loud when I started laughing at my mental picture of a woman running around yelling “turtle penis”!!!

    And as a fellow turtle owner (not sure what breed mine is…she looks like the one in the Chantix commercials and ads), I have to say that turtle bellies are absolutely adorable!

  68. cute

  69. Kirsten says:

    THE COWARDLY LION!:D

    Am I the only person who thought of him when I read that caption?
    I just want to smoosh this adorable little turtle. So cute!

  70. AAHHHHHHHHH JUST TOO CUTE!!! HOW YOUNG IS IT???
    reminds me of my 3 babies that i used to have :’(