Jeffery Catzenberg Takes a Meeting

"First, call DiCaprio and tell him he’s perfect for the part of young Ben Franklin.  Then, call the Props Department and get me the biggest WWII dirigible they got.  And tell the writer we need to cut the Roman orgy sequence if we want that PG-13 rating."

Hang on, I've got NTMTOM Cruise on line five.

I’ll have my people text your people, Joelle.



  1. katerpie says:

    all those components would make for quite an interesting movie!

  2. eikoleigh says:

    so cute…so professional!

  3. aww, she’s deep in thot isn’t she?
    I’ll bet she’s figuring out how soon she can entice Angelina Jolie back to work.

  4. Other Mike — re: hover — do you *really* want to associate yourself with Wacktacular Scientology Boy of Epic Sexual Insecurity?

  5. …Planet Unicorn, heyyy.

  6. ThreeCatNight says:

    That’s “Leonardo Di CATPRIO” to you! And have my humans call your humans!
    Kiss, kiss, and purr, purr!

  7. wagthedogma says:

    Working film title: “All About the Benjamin’s Blimps Over Bologna.”

  8. Clearly the plot for History of the World Part 6… NTMTOM I see you more as a NTMTOM Selleck.

  9. Well $#!%, Wag, I’d rent it.

    In fact we could do a CO movie shindig at the CatCave’s Movie Wall. Friday night! Veggie pizza on the deck, Bleensicle Margaritas and of course Sardinis at the “wet bar” (ironing board with a tarp draped over) along with a selection of bottled beers:

    So hey, what’s the other half of the double feature going to be?

  10. wagthedogma says:

    Double-feature B-side? Hmmm… How about “Commander Xenu’s Revenge,” starring NTMTOM Cruise as the couch-jumping commander, and John Travolta as his loyal android sidekick, L-Ron?

    Oh, and make mine a Garden Snail Pale Ale, pleez! 😀

  11. Erebella says:

    Oh, don’t be CATty, you can’t have a good movie without the Roman orgy scene! You know what the people want!

  12. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    NTMTOM Selleck is much better…

  13. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    How about foreign beers, or is this just a local phenom? Oh, that’s right, with Ben Franklin as a character, probably best stick with the domestic… In that case, reserve a Bleenside Margarita for me.

  14. Yeh, BB, tahtz gotta bii SAMYUL ADAMZ on teh alkuhol…

  15. Typical Hollywood executive, working even when he’s in bed. (Insert casting couch joke here).

    I still yearn for the days of Louis B. Meower, Ir-bleen Thalberg, and of course the heyday of great studios like 20th Fennec-Fox and Baroo-mount. Oh, they had designers then!

  16. BonzoGal says:

    “And where is that girl with my half-caf soy latte?!? I CANNOT WORK WITHOUT MY FARKING LATTE!!!”

  17. marie_n says:

    how old is that hello-phone? looks ancient.

    and what i would give to get my paws on that rolodex. imagine the connections.

    that key-key is holding the pen(cil) with its opposible thumbs.

    it looks more like an important appointment with dr. katz to me, but that’s just my humble opinion. maybe it should have a squiggly shaking outline.

  18. A girl named Jeffery? I guess she needed it for the biz. Nice to see calicos in the executive suite.

    Oh, and DEFINITELY our poster is NTMTOM Selleck.

    I’ll have a Bleengarita, Teho, kthx.

  19. I’ll take a marmie puddin pa-sickie over here, thanks. need to fill up before the bleengaritas.

  20. Ha ha ha. This is my cat Maude. I work from home as a journalist and she likes to bug me when I’m talking to important people.
    I once had someone say “er…is that a cat purring in the background?”
    so embarrassing! My sister Joelle sent this in without telling me!!

  21. Gail (the first one) says:

    @julie: Congratulations on having such a cute cat!! She’s looks like she’s very helpful (just like mine-LOL)!!

  22. you can’t tell from here, but Maude’s also a Kitler!

  23. Cute kitteh!! 🙂 reminds me of one of mine when i try to read… she flops down right on the pages, demanding i stop reading and pay attention to her!
    oh, and i’d much rather see a movie with NTMTOM Selleck than that other NTMTOM whos a crazy alien…
    i’m just sayin 🙂

  24. Ok, so I know this is soo random, but I was in my kitchen eating cottage cheese tonight, and my cat is justa staring at me in the weirdest way! All I could think of was ‘this is meowzbot, give me your milks, your yarnballs..’ I was cracking myself up!

  25. Hon Glad says:

    Catzenberg; “Hmm, I wonder if we could get away with using a corpse, instead of Cruise? It might just work.

    Theo: I’ll have a Bishops finger, or as the locals call it, Nuns delight.

    [No comment. – Ed.]

  26. “Children’s beer”! (snort snort SNORT!!)

    My grandpa thought that’s what beer *is.* 😛

  27. starling says:

    Cat is doing remake of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

    [BAD CAT! No nip for a month! And GIMME that phone… – Ed.]

  28. And then there’s Maude… Ya know, julie, I suspected she was a Kitler.

    Hon Glad, your locals are NAUGHTY.

  29. Actually, Hon Glad, how about a Zappa’s Finger? (or as the London Symphony Orchestra calls it, the Baton)

  30. Well, I suppose it’s better than NTMTOM Sizemore….

  31. Ground Control to NTMTOM…
    Ground Control to NTMTOM…
    Take your puddin’ pills and put your Post Hat on…

  32. Perhaps we’ve offended him and he’d rather be likened to NTMTOM Green. [personal ‘blech’, but to each his own…]

  33. I’ll see your “blech” and raise you a “not if you paid me”.
    Unless we’re talking six figures, here. I could do a lot with that.

  34. I’m sure!

    Would you prefer NTMTOM Jones?

  35. Well NTMTOM-y Lee Jones wouldn’t be so bad…

  36. Except for the hepatitis and all… oh, OOPS! I didn’t read the JONES part! hahahahaha! Now that’s a horse of a different color!!

    NTMTOM Hanks would be nice.

  37. You’re smokin’ today, Kris.
    In the boy’s room.

  38. Everybody knows that smokin’ ain’t allowed in school…

  39. ONE MORE! [drumroll]

  40. Erebella says:

    You know, when I was a teenager, my mom told me Tom Jones was just the hottest thing when she was younger and I’m like, but he’s so OLD! Then I saw a show where he was singing that Prince song “Kiss” and he was wearing black and looking good and when he said “I know how to undress me” he did something with his zipper and I went :-O and thought “Oh, I see. I stand corrected.”

  41. I think I’ll just be leaving that one alone. Yep.

  42. We failed to mention Bob Dylan’s illegitimate son NTMTOM Petty…let me know if anyone wants a different earworm… ;oP

    Erebella – did your mom admit to throwing her underwear on stage????

  43. Hon Glad says:

    Hi Theo, My turn to be puzzled by “Foreign” references. Yes, I’ve heard of Zappa and seen the LSO frequently. If it aint too vulgar or its innocent (of which I have my doubts) can you explain.

    [OK, there was this one time Mr. Frank Z. conducted the LSO live in concert, using his middle finger. It’s possible that I have the actual orchestra wrong, though. *tsk* That naughty boy. He was a caution, he was… – Ed.]

  44. Erebella says:

    Haha, Kris. I don’t think she ever saw him perform….so to speak. She said he had this variety show and she would watch that all the time.

    Anyway, CUTE KITTY! (don’t want anyone to start throwing stuff at me for getting off subject)

  45. wagthedogma says:

    “It’s not unusual, to unzip in prime time (dah dah dah dah daaahhh…)”

  46. Wag the what now??

  47. wagthedogma says:

    I dunno…whaddya got? 😉

  48. AuntieMame says:

    Julie, is your sister by any chance a LOTR fan? (There was a “Joelle” who posted on a LOTR forum I visit.)

    I guess Maude is helping you with your shorthand notes, eh?

  49. Margaret says:

    Keep the Roman orgy sequence! The second half of the film won’t make sense without it.

  50. He’s making a film out of John Barnes’ Timeline Wars trilogy!

    The books are Patton’s Spaceship, Washington’s Dirigible, and Caesar’s Bicycle. It all fits!