Ladies, pamper yourself at Nails N’ Tails, the manicurist with the oh-so-cute touch.  Try our patented RejuviGoop(tm) hot oil / aloe vera / vitamin E / paraffin / oatmeal / library paste treatment, guaranteed to make your hands so young, they’ll outlive the rest of you.  Now open in the Driveby Mall-a-teria.

THIS WEEK’S SPECIAL: Get a free sugar glider with every French manicure.

Please take me home. Madge frightens me.

You know, you’re soaking in it, Erica M.



  1. hon glad says:

    Not even the offer of a Sugar Glider, would entice me to have talons like this.

  2. Karen in Toronto says:

    Fake nails give me the creeps, but I would like a sugar glider to snuggle up to my earlobe. Do they purr? (PS: Happy Canada Day, eh?)

  3. Put a dollop of whip cream on that morsel, right on the nose.
    *runs away from industrial strength nails.

  4. To be fair to the sender-inner and the nail wearing public in general, that does appear to be a particularly botched set of nails.

  5. Poohbear says:

    How can you see the nails wiz zat sugarr glidère een thère ?? Anyway, ze French manucure, zat is feeneeshed, no longère een fash-on.

  6. Poohbear says:

    Oh, and Madge scares me too.

  7. Poohbear says:

    Oh, and Hon Glad, I thought you were of the male persuasion ? but with these blurred online iden-titties… (Did I just write that??)

  8. hon glad says:

    Poohbear: You’re right, but my comment still stands. I mean how would I weed my vegetables and nose picking would be dangerous.

  9. Erebella says:

    Those are just the cutest little things! Look at those iddy biddy claws and toe joints. I want to boop his widdle nose. Gah, I’ve been reduced to baby talk!

  10. Barbara says:

    I don’t like those nails at all, but she does appear to have soft palmolive hands, good for sugar glider hiding.

  11. brinnann says:

    NTMTOM, you’re so punny!

  12. Pearl Ostroff says:

    I was so enthralled by the sugar glider I didn’t even notice the nails. Oh yeah, they are kind of scary.

  13. ButtaRumCake says:

    EH…those nails are HARDLY long… My natural nails are an inch at least from the ends of my fingers.

    It’s an inexpensive way to pamper myself, I’m a single mom & don’t have a lot of $$ for a spa day or shopping sprees LOL ($20 for a fill & airbrushing every 2 weeks ain’t bad)…I enjoy nail art.

    Been growing mine for over a year…will be cutting them down this week tho..
    And yes, I’m on a computer all day and no it doesn’t hurt when I use the bathroom LOL

    P.S The sugar glider is anerabuhls – the nails aren’t bad at all, IMO…

  14. StormCat says:

    Ok, truthfully, who cares about the nails when there’s a cute little bebeh in the middle of the pic! Look at that cuteness… Those eyes, those lips, those widdle feet!!! *sigh*

  15. For a change, the hoomin has the clawz!

  16. metsakins says:

    btw little sugar glider, Madge frightens us all.

  17. brinnann says:

    Who’s Madge?

  18. Unrelated… but I’m looking forward to some Canadian-themed pictures today.

    Happy Canada Day!!

  19. metsakins says:

    awww Brinnann so young and uncorrupted. Madge was a manicurest in the Palmolive dish liquid commercials who thought Palmolive was so mild and good for the hands that she would have her clients soak their nails in it.

  20. wasn’t Madge the palmolive lady?

  21. dang comment lag…
    The sugar glider looks scared of the nails too.

  22. Relax, it’s Palmolive.
    A certain Wessonality.

    Is it me or am I one of 5 people who actually noticed the animal in her hands?

  23. hon glad says:

    I remember Madge, we must all be of a certain age, or should I say decrepitude.

  24. Theresa says:

    Rejuvi-Goop! BWAH!

    And what about that dainty beastie with his pink nosicle?

  25. metsakins says:

    speak up, hon glad, I can quite make out what you are sayin’.
    *cups hand to ear*

  26. gorgeous little sugar glider!

  27. Theresa says:

    PS: A glimpse at Madge the Manicurist:

  28. zeldapie says:

    Peenk nosicle and toeses. OMG!!

    (I remember Madge! My mom always said “If a manicurist stuck my hands in dish soap, I’d never go back!” But hey, I liked Madge.)

  29. hon glad says:

    Oh so that’s the American Madge, we had a different bint in the UK.

  30. I thought our “Madge” was Madonna Louise Ciccone.

  31. Theresa…thanks for the flashback, I remember Madge and I still use Palmolive.

    How appropriate that a sweet little baby like this is called a “sugar”glider. He is sooooo cute. I really needed this today…having a bad day at work…thankfully I can always count on CO and the great commenters to make the day more tolerable. Thanks everybody!

  32. scooterpants says:

    those hands are entirely to young and irresponsible to be holdin that sugar-glider babeh.
    -Grabs SG with older “more experienced” hands and runs away quickly as possible-

  33. Martha in Washington says:

    What kinda sweet little pet do you get with a pedicure?

  34. hon glad says:

    Well Martha, you get a slug.

  35. starling says:

    The only reason I know who Madge is that I had to Google her this morning while answering a quiz question.

    A SLUG?!

    Thanks for that image, hon <_ <

  36. Golden or NTKTOK says:

    Here’s a scary commercial with Madge and talking lemons and limes..

  37. A slug? Does it talk? Then it’s scarcely a replacement, now, is it?

  38. Cat Slave in WI says:

    OK, now – if I had that little beastie I would do NOTHINGK but stay home and croon and stroke it and pet it and feed it and put teensy smooches on it and … I want one. But you know, I can just see the cats putting on their bibs, not an image I want. Pfooey.

  39. Cute bebeh!

    I couldn’t type with nails like that. Too painful!

    I used to like the old Madge/Palmolive commercials. I saw a new one last week and she scared the hell out of me too for some reason, as if an axe murderer was on the screen. Weird. Same woman, but scary now.

  40. Sister Francis says:

    Aww, don’t criticize the girl; just be thankful for her submission. Keep your judgemental comments out of it! Be kind! Cute sugar glider…

  41. punkinberry says:

    I want RejuviGoop(tm) for my crow’s feet…

    …and a sugar glider for a snack. Nom!

  42. And speaking of commercials, that little sugar glider is in an Allstate ad.

  43. metsakins says:

    NTMTOM -sugar gliders don’t talk, why should the pedicure pet talk?

  44. Geez, what’s next, a post of a cute puppy in its owner’s lap and everyone starts dissing her hairstyle? C’mon now, there is plenty of cute sugar glider there to distract you from her manicure (which isn’t so bad, imo.)

  45. fansmom says:

    Metsakins, NTMTOM was quoting Monty Python. One more reason to love him.

  46. metsakins says:

    ooops, didn’t realize it.. silly me (anyway, he’s just pining for the fjords)

  47. Kiragirl says:

    love it, “not that glider the other glider?

  48. I have no opinion on the nails, but I will say that I’m such a freaking nerd freak that I knew Madge’s real name (Jan Miner).

    And once again, I wonder how I went most of my life not even knowing that sugar gliders existed or, if they did, they were probably sold at the Little League snack shack and came in four colorful flavors.

  49. Kiragirl says:

    oh yes Berthaservant! there’s the cherry-sugar glicer, the grape-, stawberry-, and of course you can’t forget, the maple-sugar-glider, a most popular item during the fall

  50. scooterpants says:

    the real madge is still alive?
    no way!
    she’s gotta be 900 years old.
    i havent even seen a pic and i’m kinda gacked out.

  51. The Other One Michelle says:

    Ah, I think her nails are fine. Probably just a lil’ chipped on the white part is all. I have falsies and I like ’em. Weirded me out the first time I poo’ed, tho. Sugar gliders sure are cute, but they kinda freak me out when they’re gliding. Look kinda like bats.

  52. BeanSidhe says:

    I bow to the genius that is the Hovertext.

    **pops bebbeh in rack and slinks away**

  53. binky-mama says:

    “Do they have sharp talons?” (Napoleon Dynamite voice)

    ahem, sorry couldn’t resist

    Want to kees leetle peenk nosicle!

  54. chanpon says:

    Wasn’t Madge fighting dish-pan hands, not Lee Press-on Nails? They do present a good deterrent to anyone who thinks he’s stealing that sugar glider out of that owners hands!

  55. starling says:

    *rummages beneath counter*

    I had a Norwegian Blue, but someone picked it up this morning. Beau’iful plumage it had. And it loiked kippin’ on its back.

  56. Katrina says:

    I’m sorry to have to tell you that Jan Miner passed away about two or three months ago.

    During my adolescence I used to wash my hair with Palmolive- it was wonderful- I had hair down to my sit-down and it came out silky and smooth. I used used a touch of some cheap conditioner to get the tangles out.
    All Hail Madge!! Sarcasm was alive and well with Madge on the boob-tube.
    She was ‘liberated’ before most women at the time.

  57. Adorable little sugar glider… but I absolutely hate the French Manicure. I think it looks so cheap and tacky.

  58. Katrina — not that it matters, but she actually died in 2004, that’s one of the reasons I remembered her name.

    As a guy, am I supposed to be offended when I find out my date has fake nails? (No, I don’t have date).

  59. zeldapie says:

    I *heart* Madge.

    Gee, I wish I could have nice nails. If I put polish on mine, I’d look like a 6-year-old who got into her mom’s vanity. Sigh.

    Sugargliders look an awful lot like flying squirrels. I got to feed a couple of bebeh flying squirrels this year at the Wildlife Rehab Center. They are BEEEYOOTIFUL!

  60. miss h. says:

    french manicures are for brides and porn stars…

    unless you’re part of the wedding partay, glide away now, little fella!!!

  61. Martha in Washington says:

    A slug! A SLUG!!!! UGH!! We have enough slugs around here thank you very much. Now I know why I never get pedicures!

    Dish soap is great for getting all that build-up from other shampoos out of your hair. So is baking soda, BTW.

  62. Sign me up for the 55-gallon drum of RejuviGoop! (NTMTOM, trademark that name! It could lead to fame and fortune…)

    A local pet store used to have sugar gliders. Cute, cuddly, and a shrieking voice you wouldn’t believe.

  63. the other Brenda says:

    I just hate it for those who don’t remember Madge.

  64. “guaranteed to make your hands so strong, they’ll outlive the rest of you.” Gotta say, that made me smile more than the sugar glider. 🙂 Although, of course, it’s an awfully cute sugerglider.

  65. ooooh wow I can’t even imagine how soft and snorglable that lil critter must be.

  66. CathyDee says:

    While we are on the topic of Madge and Palmolive (I think Palmolive and Prell shampoo were essentially th same product!) here’s another commerical flashback: “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!”

    Someone ‘splain this to the youngsters.

    I think cute little sugar gliders would be extra tasty with just a smidge of a butter-like substance.

  67. sammysmom says:

    The Other One Michelle- “I have falsies and I like ’em.”— Me too but they’re not fingernails 😉

  68. Lillith says:


    Although I was just a kid I remember Madge, and Mr. Whipple, and Morris the Cat but most of all I remember Mama.

  69. I’ll take one sugar glider treatment and a facial please…

  70. ButtaRumCake says:

    ew, Miss H. I hope you were being sarcastic. I French my hands & toes and I take offense to the porn star reference….srsly, just because YOU don’t like it doesn’t mean you have to degrade it like that.

  71. Worst manicure ever. She obviously did it herself, and not very well.

    [Oh cork it, snot. – Ed.]

  72. I know where I can get nails like that if I ever wanted a bad manicure (the drug store), but more importantly, where can I get myself a cutesie-pops like that little sugar glider?! 😀

  73. Totalee Puppy says:

    OTHER MIKE…I like the drive-by mall-a-teria! Would love a sugar glider!!

  74. Space Cowgirl says:

    What’s with all the nail-bashing? I was under the impression most of our readership had graduated high school.

    It’s obvious the fuzzy darling doesn’t give a shit about her nails anyway – I guess he/she is less shallow than a lot of us!

  75. Katrina says:

    Bethaservant- Really?! Well, my mystook. I just heard about it and assumed it was news. Thanks for the record-correction, always welcome.

    Please buy Roosevelt- he just seems so “you”. Said lovingly, K.

  76. So tiny and kyoot <3

  77. Beep beep wee pink nosie!

  78. It’s the fact that she did her own nails so she could take this picture, and it turned out to be crap lol Funny..ha-ha…people are so sensitive.

  79. Sosa — you’ve got a typo there; let me fix it:

    Funny..ha-ha…people are so rude.

  80. The Other One Michelle says:

    It never stops amazing me how a nice lil’ ol’ site of cuteness brings out such jerks. All you people commenting on her nails are asshats. Complete asshats. I don’t want to ever meet you and have you mock me. Honey, if you’re reading this, your nails are fine. Ignore the nuffers.

  81. ASS HATS!

    er hehe.

  82. Seriously, I want to do a photo series now.

  83. The Other One Michelle says:

    Everytime I saw “asshats” I say it in the AFLAC duckie voice. Try it!

  84. Well, Gilbert Gottfried *is* an asshat.

  85. Yep. The nails are hideous. HIDEOUS.

    But the sugar glider?


  86. bookmonstercats says:

    Now, now, babies (says in reproving voice because I’m that age). I’m not a fan of French manicures and I don’t even know why it’s called “French”. However, her hands are lovely, bits of white whatever caught behind a couple of nails not withstanding.

  87. The Other One Michelle says:

    Jmuhj, are you a nail tech? Perchance a vet (given your emphatic post on the Winnie photo that cats DO NOT NEED TO BE SHAVED?). Be nice or go away.

  88. bookmonstercats says:

    PS, the sugar-glider is ADORABUHLS. If one came free with every French manicure, I’d have one – or two, so I could have a s-g in each hand.

  89. BeanSidhe says:

    Thought Theo said ASS RATS.

  90. Um, not that I *wouldn’t*, necessarily, butt no I didn’t.

  91. no, seriously. a french manicure makes you look like you perform in porn, to people who watch porn. i mean, if you don’t care what people who watch porn think, that’s legit. but i watch a little porn, and the plastic ladies therein like french manicures.

    probably some purer ladies than i don’t realize that french manicures are for porn. but they are.

  92. Well, by that same argument, the INTERNET is for porn, sooo…

  93. The Other One Michelle says:

    The idea of my fat ass in a porn with my french manicure makes me chuckle. Surest way to drive a perv to church…

  94. …a car?
    With doors that don’t unlock from the inside?

  95. The Other One Michelle says:

    Whaaaa haaa haaa. You’re on fire today, Theo. ON FIRE, I say.

  96. chanpon says:

    Actually well done french manicures are meant to simulate a natural nail look and can be attractive:

    It’s when people decide to grow gnarly talons and add the french manicure look that they start heading into porn territory.

  97. This has got to be the first, and ONLY place I have ever heard the idiotic assertation that french manicures are meant for porno films.

    By that logic, I suppose a moron could surmise that blonde hair dye, high heeled shoes, tattoos and body piercings are meant only for porno films as well.

    Just because one sees a particular fashion or beauty treatment in a porno film does not equal that fashion or beauty treatment being developed exclusively for, or only permitted by law in said genre of movie.

    Get a grip and get outside please