Next week, on The Guiding Leash…

by Not That Mike The Other Mike on June 24, 2008

Jameson confesses his true love to Giselle, but refuses to seek a divorce from Jacki, who is undergoing delicate brain surgery by the brilliant but unpredictable Dr. Hugo Hankershlaffer.  Meanwhile, Steve and Randolph must explain to Violet, Steve’s fiancée, how the two of them came to be arrested by park rangers while wearing only fishnet stockings and scuba gear.

And in the tranquil Schlongermann household, Clarence begins to suspect that young Clarence Jr. might not be his…

What tipped you off, Sherlock?

Pass the bon-bons, Lucy L!

{ 75 comments }

1 foxy 06.24.08 at 5:00 pm

Look, Berthaminion, NTMTOM is including marmies for you now.

(I think this means you should get one)

2 Meg 06.24.08 at 5:01 pm

ROTFLMAO

3 sunnymum 06.24.08 at 5:07 pm

Awwwwww, that is SO cute! Teensy leetle marmie all cozied up next to spaniels :) She’s so itty bitty!

4 LMNOP 06.24.08 at 5:08 pm

NTMTOM, you are a GREAT addition to the CO team! I love reading your posts.

Go Team!

5 Catsquatch 06.24.08 at 5:12 pm

“how the two of them came to be arrested by park rangers while wearing only fishnet stockings and scuba gear.”

hehehehehe….

“And in the tranquil Schlongermann household, Clarence begins to suspect that young Clarence Jr. might not be his…”

BUHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Yur KILLIN me here!!!!

6 Theo 06.24.08 at 5:14 pm

Methinks I shall just quietly add the “Interspecies Snorgling” tag to this one raaht heeah.
*click*

7 Erebella 06.24.08 at 5:15 pm

They’re all teh same color! It took me a second to realize those other 2 weren’t just a colorful butt and a floofy curly tail of the bigger dog. Great camo.

8 hon glad 06.24.08 at 5:17 pm

Clarence begins to suspect that Clarence junior might not be his, but there was that time he came back soused and got in the wrong bed!

9 DKN 06.24.08 at 5:36 pm

Schlongermann??? Fishnet stockings??

:-O

LMAO!!!!!!!

Good show, NTMTOM! You’re doing Theo and Meg proud!

10 chanpon 06.24.08 at 5:40 pm

Teeny kitty’s almost camouflaged against the dogs.

“Nothing to see here. I’m just a spot. Move along now.”

11 Kali 06.24.08 at 5:43 pm

Randolph and Steve wearing fishnet stockings!!?? Hahahaha…. Oh yea, and that marmies pretty adorable too. I love NTMTOM’s posts, I always look forward to them now. :)

12 brinnann 06.24.08 at 5:46 pm

This post is all aces, but the hovertext is the icing on the cake!

13 ThreeCatNight 06.24.08 at 5:51 pm

“Er, let’s see. Did she share her food dish with Skittles the cat? It’s possible. I know they both like chicken-flavored anything. And then there was that brownout a few months ago. When the lights came back on, Fifi had this strange smile on her face. Of course, it might have been because she was happy to see me. Still…..”

(Clarence, Jr. – who’s your Daddy, little cutie?)

14 jana 06.24.08 at 6:01 pm

ooohhh…sweet bebe kitteh…why puppeh look so sad?

15 metsakins 06.24.08 at 6:10 pm

you did not use the name Schlongermann, fisnet stockings I can understand, but Schlongermann…o no you didn’t!

(teehee)

16 Metz 06.24.08 at 6:10 pm

Schlongermann???
Schlongermann????
ROFLMAO! Isn’t that one of the 7 words?
;-)
Good job NTMTOM!

17 layla42 06.24.08 at 6:16 pm

*stands and applauds*
I needed that laugh.
Bravo NTMTOM.

18 Ermine_Violin 06.24.08 at 6:18 pm

:gets tired of signing in every. single. time. I. comment:

NTMTOM you’re killin’ me here. I need the laughs you bring to the mix. The cammo’d kitten was so hard to find. NTMTOM FTW (first time I’ve used that)

19 brinnann 06.24.08 at 6:32 pm

Ermine, sometimes I have the signing-in problem too. It’s been okay for me today, but it doesn’t always work that way.

20 kar 06.24.08 at 6:39 pm

I smell more than a paternity secret coming out. I bet he’s a baby swapped at birth in the hospital.

Cue a despondant and desparate mother! And her fraternal twin brother with evil on his mind. OH, and he’s a mongoose due to recasting.

21 ding 06.24.08 at 6:41 pm

Maybe the Schlongermanns’ mail carrier is an orange tabby?

22 Hila 06.24.08 at 6:51 pm

For some reason, the tiny marmie reminds me of my niece when she’s sleepy… :) Sweet dreams, little one! *kisses nose*

23 CathyDee 06.24.08 at 6:59 pm

Ding–
The postman does always meow twice, you know.

24 Karen in Toronto 06.24.08 at 7:02 pm

Kitteh is all, like, “Yer breathin’ down my neck, now stop it.”

25 kar 06.24.08 at 7:16 pm

Arested by park rangers while wearing only fishnet stockings and scuba gear?

Wan’t that an episode of “Cheaters?”

26 Ponygirl 06.24.08 at 7:44 pm

I didn’t even see the other doggie in the picture at first. What a sweet little poster family for the pleasures of adoption.

27 Fegli 06.24.08 at 7:44 pm

Oh man… that kitten would be far too moishe by itself!

28 Gwenny 06.24.08 at 7:46 pm

Doggie soaps! I love it, love it!

29 tracey 06.24.08 at 7:48 pm

Long setup, classic payoff. Yer doing great, Mike!

30 dale-harriet in WI 06.24.08 at 8:08 pm

I don’t know or care what happened with all that – alls I can say is, I ADORE that picture of the puppies and kitties and all those sweeties, and I just want to smooch the whole lot on their little nosies. Thanks for this! You know, sometimes family members just don’t look alike, you know? {snerk}

31 marsheeeee 06.24.08 at 8:12 pm

I snorted! It’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking anything at the time.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You made my afternoon, NTMTOM! Thank you!

32 Martha in Washington 06.24.08 at 8:17 pm

Mike–I think I love you! (said in a non-David Cassidy voice) Will you marry my sister?

33 Katrina 06.24.08 at 8:30 pm

Now, were the Park Rangers wearing the fishnets and scuba gear or…
(snerk)

34 Metz 06.24.08 at 8:49 pm

oh! Good point Katrina. ;-)
sumbunny best warn Berthaservant away from this post tho…for his own safety and sanity.

35 tank 06.24.08 at 8:54 pm

that kitty is all ” lemme ‘lone, ah sleepun’ “

36 Anne Boleyn 06.24.08 at 9:03 pm

Was there a time when I momentarily lost consciousness and the identity of NTMTOM was revealed. Is “The Other Mike” an alter ego, an actual third party to Meg and Theo, and then, there would need to be some clarification of “That Mike”.
If this is a stupid question, be gentle; I’m closing in on my 65th birthday this week,

37 Joanna 06.24.08 at 9:12 pm

Wow, how does she come up with these stories…lol

38 Caitlin 06.24.08 at 9:16 pm

Actually, I think that’s a tumor. Might wanna have that looked at.

*dons surgical scrubs*

*snatches kitteh AND SPRINTS HOME OMG*

39 heather_f 06.24.08 at 9:22 pm

Mike, your posts are too long. And boring.

Snooooooze!

40 Lisa 06.24.08 at 9:28 pm

heather_f, you’re too rude. And obnoxious.

PPPfffffftttt!

41 meowandwoof 06.24.08 at 9:30 pm

pudding anyone? in real mood to throw today.

42 Anne Boleyn 06.24.08 at 9:32 pm

Thought I’d better say it before someone else did: It might not be that I lost consciousness, but rather that I lost my head.

43 meowandwoof 06.24.08 at 9:42 pm

happy 65th to you, AB, you are a hoot! I’m not far behind ya in years and intend on remaining a hoot myself!

44 CoffeeCup 06.24.08 at 9:47 pm

Guiding Leash…A CO production…

As the Hydrant Turns?

45 belphebe 06.24.08 at 10:28 pm

Anne B, I haven’t been around from the beginning of CO, but there was probably a time when there were two people commenting that signed in with the name “Mike”. So, to distinguish himself, NTMTOM started posting under a longer name.

I’ve seen other people try to distinguish themselves, such as “Mary (the first)”, and one other that I don’t remember at the moment.

46 berthaservant 06.24.08 at 10:49 pm

So THAT’S where marmies come from.

:: going out to look for that slatternly Schlongermann bitch ::

What, it’s the correct term, isn’t it?

47 Daphne Moss 06.24.08 at 10:52 pm

*stomach hurts from da laughin…*

48 AuntieMame 06.24.08 at 10:54 pm

heather_f, your posts are too long. And boring.

Snooooooze!

49 BeanSidhe 06.25.08 at 12:45 am

How will they do the standard Soap Opera “kid trick”? (kid goes off to boarding school at age 5 and returns three years later at age 18)

50 Rachel Sweeden 06.25.08 at 1:30 am

That picture is so adorable.

51 Katrina 06.25.08 at 1:33 am

Well, Anne B and NTMTOM, there IS the other Katrina…eh, Golden? Ya with me, here? I thought we needed some positive Public relations.

As the Hydrant Turns”-beautiful!

52 rocketpants 06.25.08 at 2:25 am

ZOMG maralade dollop. Must. Get. Spoon.

53 heather_f 06.25.08 at 3:52 am

AuntieMame, actually my post was quite short and to the point. Plus, you are a poopface.

54 goldendays 06.25.08 at 5:02 am

actually heather_f, i think what auntiemame was saying was that, given your particular choice of attitude, no one here really wants to read what you wrote. therefore, it was and will always be too long. that being said, i must now add the obligatory awwwwwwww! that marmie is so stinkin cute…

55 TW 06.25.08 at 5:27 am

heather_f, you are about to be consumed by that flask of bile you call your soul. No one wants your crap around here. Go.

56 berthaservant 06.25.08 at 6:29 am

I think everyone has a right to express themselves. I wish, sometimes, they were all a bit more articulate. But people have a right to their opinion. And then have a right to express their opinion about others’ opinion. But after that it gets silly. That’s just my opinion.

57 Subhangi 06.25.08 at 8:29 am

OMG LOL, NTMOTM. You’re nuts.

And heather_f, you’re rude.

58 Anne Boleyn 06.25.08 at 12:01 pm

This is soooo not the place to make judgments on each other. Gentle opinion on comments, not so bad. Being mean is just like the old bumper sticker says: “Mean People SUCK”.
Now I look at my comment and see that it’s a judgment.
Kumbayah (sp) people!

59 Kris 06.25.08 at 12:23 pm

I toooootally did not see the second dog snerfing in the kitties ear until someone mentioned that there WAS a 2nd dog!! How cute!!

60 Ray 06.25.08 at 12:32 pm

That kittun is pwecious =3

61 Theo 06.25.08 at 12:36 pm

Personally I never get poopfaced until after we take in the sails and drop anchor. And even then it’s more like a buzz, because then there’s COOKING to be done, you know.

62 wagthedogma 06.25.08 at 12:55 pm

Postprandial poopfacededness on the poopdeck, eh, Teho?

63 Theo 06.25.08 at 4:10 pm

Possibly.

(LOL!)

64 Mary (the first) 06.25.08 at 4:35 pm

omg Belphebe has referred to me in her (his?) post! I’m now official! Yes actually, for a long time I was just “Mary” but one day suddenly someone else was posting and calling herself “Mary” (the nerve!) so I had to claim rights as being here first. Luckily she did the name proud, as I recall.
Now as for this post, it took a few minutes to disentangle all the marmieness but it’s adorable. And for the record I am glad to see NTMTOM posting, I love his comments, pfft to whoever said they were too long.

65 Mary (the first) 06.25.08 at 4:37 pm

( of course I meant, someone else was commenting as “Mary”. not posting. I really should proof read better..)

66 Kali 06.25.08 at 5:07 pm

I love NTMTOM’s comments too. In fact, I enjoy that they’re long. Maybe the problem is some people don’t really like to read…and in that case, just look at the marmie’s picture! :)

67 Kali 06.25.08 at 5:08 pm

Oops, I meant posts… Haha guess we share a proof reading problem, Mary the first!

68 Theresa 06.25.08 at 7:48 pm

How about a riproaring rumpus with riparian refreshments? ;)

69 Theo 06.25.08 at 8:36 pm

Rockin’!

[humming "Proud Mary"]

70 Mary (the first) 06.26.08 at 1:03 am

wow.. humming in my honor! I’m touched, indeed. (No, not “tetched”. Honestly, you people! :) )

71 starling 06.26.08 at 6:50 pm

I’m deffo tuning in next week.

72 Lauri 06.26.08 at 11:23 pm

BahahahaHAHAH!!!

*falls out of chair*

I read the WHOLE thang! LOL!

73 heather_f 06.27.08 at 12:12 am

Ya’ll take yourselves so seriously. It’s rather amusing.

74 heather_f 06.27.08 at 12:15 am

p.s. “flask of bile you call your soul” is now my favorite expression. Thanks TW.

75 heather_f 06.27.08 at 12:17 am

Oh and Kali, I love reading.

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