I Can’t Believe It’s Not Kant!

by Not That Mike The Other Mike on June 30, 2008

While the common dog enthusiast may content himself to costume his cur in the guise of hackneyed pop-culture icons, retro-urban folk archetypes, or even perverse attempts at species confusion, the intellectual dog owner seeks to cloak Man’s Best Friend not in the artificiality of cloth, but in the transcendence of Truth.  It is for these enlightened few that The Cute Overload School of Philosophy Gift Shop is pleased to offer …

The Immanuel Kant Doggie Dress-Up Kit!

philosopher (L) pupster (R)

Each kit includes a deluxe leather-bound edition of Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason translated into Dog, a set of Categories of the Understanding flash cards, and an easy-to-learn guide to teaching your dog pensive philosophical poses.

To order, contact Ian O.

{ 88 comments }

1 Metz 06.30.08 at 7:26 pm

wow same crinklage under the eyes and everything!

2 Catsquatch 06.30.08 at 7:29 pm

Translated into dog:

Rowf grrr howl rowr :tinkle: gurrur ower :whine: bark ruff :pant pant pant: arf growl….

3 Kris 06.30.08 at 7:35 pm

Wow Mike. Just wow.

4 chanpon 06.30.08 at 7:46 pm

So does the kit allow Immanuel Kant to dress up as a doggie, or do we dress up a doggie as Immanuel Kant? Or do we dress up as Immanuel Kant dressed up as a doggie? The mind boggles.

5 lurkingsmirk 06.30.08 at 7:50 pm

wHOAH there. I am impressed. How was this image found?? I mean who saw that and thought, Well there’s a dog who looks like Kant. Well played NTMTOM.

6 Not SupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork(GotANewJob) 06.30.08 at 7:51 pm

eee heee! awesome hovertext…

(And René Descartes was a drunken fart: “I drink, therefore I am.”)

7 fifi 06.30.08 at 7:54 pm

kit should include Critique of Judgment
as clearly cuteness is an important category of aesthetics

8 sheepy 06.30.08 at 7:56 pm

this (and the frozen coffee) totally made my afternoon. i just need a pipe to stick in my mouth and i’ll be set.

P.S. NSTBDTAW(GANJ), I have a feeling that I am also most likely not supposed to be oogling cuteness at work…but today’s my last day, so I don’t feel bad. (I just like your name :P )

9 sheepy 06.30.08 at 7:57 pm

wait…i meant, all I need is a pipe and I’ll be set to be all philisophical. i should probably “preview” more often.

10 DLT 06.30.08 at 8:05 pm

IM IN UR PUG MIX
CRITIQUIN UR REASON

ps. it’s official. mike, i lof you. if you aren’t married, and don’t mind the midwest, i have room for you to move in – right now. we can explore the ontological significance of whiskers while cuddling with my critter kids. bring yours along, if you’ve got ‘em. just don’t delay…twuu wuv is waiting!!!

:)

11 Catsquatch 06.30.08 at 8:14 pm

Oh wow, this place just got all EHarmony and stuff…..

;D

12 Not That Mike The Other Mike 06.30.08 at 8:21 pm

@DLT: That’s very sweet, but honesty compels me to confess that it was the sender-inner, not me, who made the comparison:

http://olasov-over.blogspot.com/2008/06/and-now.html

… and that all I know about Immanuel Kant was what I could crib last night from Wikipedia.

13 starling 06.30.08 at 8:21 pm

*plays the violin for romanteek background museek*

14 Ermine_Violin 06.30.08 at 8:25 pm

I particularly miss Socrates… ;)

Great!

15 Psipsina 06.30.08 at 8:32 pm

Wasn’t it Plato who said the dog is the most philosophical of animals?

16 LimeyG 06.30.08 at 8:34 pm

Excellent work with those text links, too! Ain’t nothing funnier than a pug dressed as Darth Vader.

17 Psipsina 06.30.08 at 8:37 pm

Is this beautiful, or is it sublime?

18 Sigivald 06.30.08 at 8:38 pm

Kritik der Reinen Verwoof.

19 Psipsina 06.30.08 at 8:39 pm

But what a world be like in which all doggies looked like Kant?

(Sorry, when the subject is philosophy, I just can’t stop myself. I’m still trying to figure out how to make a joke about the possibility of synthetic a priori knowledge …)

20 Theo 06.30.08 at 8:39 pm

LimeyG — try Darth Vader dressed as a pug.

21 Psipsina 06.30.08 at 8:39 pm

Nice, Sigivald.

22 Dave 06.30.08 at 8:52 pm

“Translated into dog:

Rowf grrr howl rowr :tinkle: gurrur ower :whine: bark ruff :pant pant pant: arf growl….”

It’s kinda like that in English, too.

23 Not That Mike The Other Mike 06.30.08 at 8:57 pm

@Psipsina: I think it was Pluto. ;-)

24 Theo 06.30.08 at 9:01 pm

…or Plutarch?

25 Clare 06.30.08 at 9:15 pm

*That’s* the real pissant who was very rarely stable?

[Yep, ain't he a sweetie? - Ed.]

26 Kar 06.30.08 at 9:17 pm

Best. Title. Eva!

Seriously, it was so sublime. So so so so sublime.

27 berthaservant 06.30.08 at 10:16 pm

I had a pet goldfish who was a dead ringer for Kierkegaard, and most alpaca’s bear an uncomfortable resemblance to Noam Chomsky, but this takes the cake.

28 berthaservant 06.30.08 at 10:17 pm

Um, no apostrophe. Sorry.

29 Patricia 06.30.08 at 10:21 pm

I am sure Kant would disaprove. LOL… that’s great.

30 PattyP 06.30.08 at 10:22 pm

Wow, runing close to best post evah, not just the pictures and text, but the comment have me ROFL. Thanks for the intensely funny humor, folks!

31 Theresa 06.30.08 at 10:27 pm

Hey guys, you can find out which philospher you are ere!
http://selectsmart.com/PHILOSOPHY/

I’m part J.S. Mill, part Thomas Aquinas, which only makes sense if you know me.

32 Theresa 06.30.08 at 10:28 pm
33 Theresa 06.30.08 at 10:31 pm

PS, Beautiful, I think. Not terrifying enough to be sublime. ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Burke

34 AuntieMame 06.30.08 at 10:36 pm

Okay, where have I heard that Heidegger doggerel (HA! DOGgerel! I crack myself up…) before?

35 Kris 06.30.08 at 10:36 pm

I got 100% Spinoza and I haven’t the slightest idea who that is… (83% Aristotle…at least I’m familiar with WHO that is!!!) Thanks for the quiz, Theresa, even though it made my head hurt!

36 Not That Mike The Other Mike 06.30.08 at 10:44 pm

@AuntieMame: It’s the “Philosopher’s Drinking Song,” featured in a skit by Monty Python’s Flying Circus. It appears on one of their recordings and also was performed in their live stage shows.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMG20rBfkM8

37 Sheenanana 06.30.08 at 10:45 pm

I’m Jean-Paul Sartre, existentialist par excellence!

Hell is other puppehs.
;D

38 Theresa 06.30.08 at 10:48 pm

NB: If you need a quick refresher on the history of philosophers and alcohol:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQycQ8DABvc

39 Theresa 06.30.08 at 10:50 pm

NTMTOM, les grands esprits se rencontrent. ;)

40 Theresa 06.30.08 at 10:55 pm

Also, Aussies will no doubt remember that this was the signature song of the Philosphy Department of the University of Wooloomooloo.

“Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Hegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.”

41 AuntieMame 06.30.08 at 10:58 pm

Thanks, NTMTOM! I knew I’d heard it somewhere, and the only thing I could think of was Hitchhiker’s Guide. But it wasn’t sci-fi enough for that.

42 Chocolate Chipped 06.30.08 at 11:19 pm

The spitting image! :)

All this dog needs is a powdered wig and a cravat.

43 thursday 06.30.08 at 11:46 pm

This is why I love this site.

44 berthaservant 07.01.08 at 12:15 am

I am 100% Kant, which is not too troubling…but 62% Ayn Rand? Ick.

45 JudyRB 07.01.08 at 12:41 am

I am 100% John Stuart Mill – not sure if that is good but some of what I read on Wikipedia was pretty close to my way of thinking.

46 Laura 07.01.08 at 1:05 am

You beat me to it, Sigivald!

If you find a rat that looks just like Edmund Husserl, I will have to leave my husband, find you, and perform some kind of phenomenological reduction. Yes.

47 Theresa 07.01.08 at 1:06 am

BerthaS, I think there’s an operation for that.

48 foxy 07.01.08 at 1:18 am

Well I’m 100% Kant and 82% Sartre.
Who knew?

49 anner 07.01.08 at 1:59 am

NTMTOM, you have officially brought this blog to a new level. of what, i’m not certain. but the fact that you call a pimp a “retro-urban folk archetype” really makes me think.

50 woofysma 07.01.08 at 2:57 am

“Translated into dog:

Rowf grrr howl rowr :tinkle: gurrur ower :whine: bark ruff :pant pant pant: arf growl….”

It’s kinda like that in English, too.
Dave – Love it – you’re absolutely right!

51 Ross1219 07.01.08 at 2:59 am

100% Kant, even though I thought we disagreed on the nature of man and knowledge – which sorta fits how I feel about pugs… :)

52 Noelegy 07.01.08 at 3:29 am

Cerebral CuteOverload! I loves it.

53 Ian O 07.01.08 at 3:31 am

From the guy who first put these two pictures together: thanks for posting this, Mike. This has certainly made my day – and my girlfriend’s, and her roommate.

54 Kimski 07.01.08 at 3:49 am

anner, methinks the pimp is just the reworking of the big bad wolf.

ie. “I will gobble you up” = “I will take all your money and make you into my ho.”

55 Kimski 07.01.08 at 3:53 am

Theresa, I think I studied there for a semester.

I like this Mike better than the other one.

100% Aquinas. 94% Satre, so get to make lof wif Simone. ;) .

56 Subhangi 07.01.08 at 5:31 am

Philosophers and puppehs? Good grief. This place is getting weirder and weirder…

57 Liz 07.01.08 at 5:48 am

That is absolutely stunning.

Wow.

Right down to the ears.

58 Rachel of Cyberia 07.01.08 at 6:12 am

dammit! I’m Ayn Rand, who I only like because she inspired a coupla Rush songs

59 hon glad 07.01.08 at 6:38 am

I’m just a girl who Kant say no.

60 Cephi 07.01.08 at 7:36 am

the one on the right looks like he might not yet be fully awoken from his dogmatic slumber

61 Poohbear 07.01.08 at 8:27 am

Kimski – I’m 100% Aquinas too! and 93% St. Augustine. Funny, those are the two I’ve recently taken up again (though I’ve sort of set aside Aquinas as being rather too dogmatic for our day.) Augustine is my man! Really Francis of Assisi, but he wasn’t scholastic and therefore not in this list…

62 P 07.01.08 at 11:39 am

I went to college with this dog’s human-mommy.

This dog is a legend there. She used to get overexcited and beatbox. Also, she drinks right out of water bottles.

Oh man, I effin’ love Sally Monster.

63 Katrina 07.01.08 at 11:43 am

Okay folks, but how can you be 183% of anything?

100% is all she wrote…..

64 Anon 07.01.08 at 12:26 pm

Here’s a clip for you philosophers that are interested in soccer as well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92vV3QGagck

65 Poohbear 07.01.08 at 12:56 pm

Heelarious! Thank you! just what I needed after surviving the Euro football championship right here in sunny Switzerland… The final was Spain-Germany, could just as well have been Greece… The 2 linesmen : Aquinas and Augustine! Nietzsche accuses Confucius of having no free will! I love it. Makes up for a lot of beer soaked annoyance over the past few weeks.

66 Pink Kitty 07.01.08 at 1:20 pm

That is my favorite Monty Python song EVER!!!!!!!!!!! I can sing that song from memory. Particularly being a philosophy major, it explains ALOT. Heh.

100% Aquinas
81% John Stuart Mill

Combining those two is actually very accurate of my beliefs… I’m impressed.

*hums the Philosopher Song for the rest of the day and off to spot some camels and take their number*

67 Not SupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork(GotANewJob) 07.01.08 at 1:24 pm

Wow…100% Sartre. That… makes perfect sense. As does 84% Stoic. I’m not sure about my 94% Kant, though…. Thanks Theresa! That was fun. I needed that this morning.

(Sheepy, did you get a new job too? I’m really just terrible at coming up with good names… I was banned from D&D as a kid because of it, ha! Good luck or happy time off, whichever it is:D)

68 ThreeCatNight 07.01.08 at 2:38 pm

One of my cats is a dead ringer for Bucky Fuller, but never thinks “outside the box”, unless it has to do with litter.

69 ElishaB 07.01.08 at 2:52 pm

(Says in a sing-songy voice)……

Some people have WAY too much time on their hands!

Too Funny:)

70 blair 07.01.08 at 3:00 pm

baroo therefore i bleen

71 angela 07.01.08 at 5:06 pm

My god, that was a very high-brow post.

I’m 90% apple sauce and 10% pure bafflement.

72 Button Bright 07.01.08 at 5:19 pm

Reminds me of the Roald Dahl story about the cat that was a reincarnation of Liszt…

73 January 07.01.08 at 6:28 pm

You go intellectuals!

74 The Other One Michelle 07.01.08 at 7:21 pm

You guys are all so smart. I’m regenerating beer-killed brain cells just by being here :-)

75 BeanSidhe 07.01.08 at 7:27 pm

“Well, Sartre, we don’t like existentialists around here, and we certainly don’t like French philosophers poncing around in their black polo necks filling everyone’s heads with their theories about the bleakness of existence and absurdity of the cosmos, clear?”

Wonder what Rimmer would have thought of that puppeh…

76 Poohbear 07.01.08 at 7:37 pm

OK, here’s one for Hon Glad : once upon a time, when I was an innocent young beansprout, I was discussing Immanuel Kant (in French) with a friend while riding a train in England. Now if you pronounce that particular philosopher’s name in French, it sounds exactly like something else, the way the British would say it. So I was getting a lot of stares, and snickers, until the friend nudged me and I (sort of) got it. Hope the children are in bed…

77 ErikaH 07.01.08 at 8:29 pm

This is why I love CuteOverload!!!! Love the philosopher quiz, too! I’m Aquinas with a bit of Spinoza! Sounds right on to me.

78 Poohbear 07.01.08 at 8:46 pm

Fun to watch all the cute-lovin’ philosophers popping up on all sides! Hee-hee!

79 Psipsina 07.01.08 at 8:47 pm

Theresa – yes, I’ve seen that book. Didn’t think the jokes all explained philosophy as claimed, but it did give me a steady supply of new jokes for a few weeks.

Why do I feel like I know you?

80 rosmerta 07.01.08 at 8:49 pm

Mostly Augustine, partly Aquinas, okay … but where was Kierkegaard?!

Great posts everyone!

God bless Honors Philosphy 101 and those dusty afternoons in Wister Hall.

81 rosmerta 07.01.08 at 8:50 pm

Poohbear! Did you say DOGmatic?

I just had to say that, didn’t I?

82 Psipsina 07.01.08 at 8:56 pm

I am supposedly Mill. However, I answered a lot of the questions “Doesn’t matter/dislike all answer choices” for a LOT of the questions. But saying something doesn’t matter is quite different from saying that none of the answer choices are exactly right. Maybe the question matters very much, but the quiz authors didn’t offer me an answer I can agree with.

So who knows? Maybe I’m nothing like Mill at all. I certainly don’t like the modern utilitarians (such as Peter Singer) very much.

83 Melisma 07.02.08 at 3:54 am

I’m apparently a toss-up between Kant and Spinoza. I am, however, disturbed that I am 87% similar to Sartre and 67% similar to Rand.

Now we all need to take the Dead Russian Composer quiz. Tomorrow, after I do some sleeping… nodding off now…

84 Kimski 07.02.08 at 10:06 am

Poohbear, Aquinas-snap!

85 Pete Mandik 07.02.08 at 7:21 pm
86 Kimski 07.03.08 at 3:49 pm

Ha! Very funny.
I larfed my head off. Id soundeds like dis, Ha, ha, ha…..plonk.

87 Aprocitied 07.03.08 at 4:43 pm

:o It looks like a Jug (Jack Russel/Pug mix). Is it?

88 Ian O 07.04.08 at 5:54 pm

It’s a puggle – a pug beagle mix.

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