I Can’t Believe It’s Not Kant!

While the common dog enthusiast may content himself to costume his cur in the guise of hackneyed pop-culture icons, retro-urban folk archetypes, or even perverse attempts at species confusion, the intellectual dog owner seeks to cloak Man’s Best Friend not in the artificiality of cloth, but in the transcendence of Truth.  It is for these enlightened few that The Cute Overload School of Philosophy Gift Shop is pleased to offer …

The Immanuel Kant Doggie Dress-Up Kit!

philosopher (L) pupster (R)

Each kit includes a deluxe leather-bound edition of Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason translated into Dog, a set of Categories of the Understanding flash cards, and an easy-to-learn guide to teaching your dog pensive philosophical poses.

To order, contact Ian O.



  1. wow same crinklage under the eyes and everything!

  2. Catsquatch says:

    Translated into dog:

    Rowf grrr howl rowr :tinkle: gurrur ower :whine: bark ruff :pant pant pant: arf growl….

  3. Wow Mike. Just wow.

  4. chanpon says:

    So does the kit allow Immanuel Kant to dress up as a doggie, or do we dress up a doggie as Immanuel Kant? Or do we dress up as Immanuel Kant dressed up as a doggie? The mind boggles.

  5. lurkingsmirk says:

    wHOAH there. I am impressed. How was this image found?? I mean who saw that and thought, Well there’s a dog who looks like Kant. Well played NTMTOM.

  6. Not SupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork(GotANewJob) says:

    eee heee! awesome hovertext…

    (And René Descartes was a drunken fart: “I drink, therefore I am.”)

  7. kit should include Critique of Judgment
    as clearly cuteness is an important category of aesthetics

  8. this (and the frozen coffee) totally made my afternoon. i just need a pipe to stick in my mouth and i’ll be set.

    P.S. NSTBDTAW(GANJ), I have a feeling that I am also most likely not supposed to be oogling cuteness at work…but today’s my last day, so I don’t feel bad. (I just like your name :P)

  9. wait…i meant, all I need is a pipe and I’ll be set to be all philisophical. i should probably “preview” more often.


    ps. it’s official. mike, i lof you. if you aren’t married, and don’t mind the midwest, i have room for you to move in – right now. we can explore the ontological significance of whiskers while cuddling with my critter kids. bring yours along, if you’ve got ’em. just don’t delay…twuu wuv is waiting!!!


  11. Catsquatch says:

    Oh wow, this place just got all EHarmony and stuff…..


  12. @DLT: That’s very sweet, but honesty compels me to confess that it was the sender-inner, not me, who made the comparison:


    … and that all I know about Immanuel Kant was what I could crib last night from Wikipedia.

  13. starling says:

    *plays the violin for romanteek background museek*

  14. I particularly miss Socrates… 😉


  15. Psipsina says:

    Wasn’t it Plato who said the dog is the most philosophical of animals?

  16. Excellent work with those text links, too! Ain’t nothing funnier than a pug dressed as Darth Vader.

  17. Psipsina says:

    Is this beautiful, or is it sublime?

  18. Sigivald says:

    Kritik der Reinen Verwoof.

  19. Psipsina says:

    But what a world be like in which all doggies looked like Kant?

    (Sorry, when the subject is philosophy, I just can’t stop myself. I’m still trying to figure out how to make a joke about the possibility of synthetic a priori knowledge …)

  20. LimeyG — try Darth Vader dressed as a pug.

  21. Psipsina says:

    Nice, Sigivald.

  22. “Translated into dog:

    Rowf grrr howl rowr :tinkle: gurrur ower :whine: bark ruff :pant pant pant: arf growl….”

    It’s kinda like that in English, too.

  23. @Psipsina: I think it was Pluto. 😉

  24. …or Plutarch?

  25. *That’s* the real pissant who was very rarely stable?

    [Yep, ain’t he a sweetie? – Ed.]

  26. Best. Title. Eva!

    Seriously, it was so sublime. So so so so sublime.

  27. I had a pet goldfish who was a dead ringer for Kierkegaard, and most alpaca’s bear an uncomfortable resemblance to Noam Chomsky, but this takes the cake.

  28. Um, no apostrophe. Sorry.

  29. Patricia says:

    I am sure Kant would disaprove. LOL… that’s great.

  30. Wow, runing close to best post evah, not just the pictures and text, but the comment have me ROFL. Thanks for the intensely funny humor, folks!

  31. Hey guys, you can find out which philospher you are ere!

    I’m part J.S. Mill, part Thomas Aquinas, which only makes sense if you know me.

  32. PS, Beautiful, I think. Not terrifying enough to be sublime. 😉

  33. AuntieMame says:

    Okay, where have I heard that Heidegger doggerel (HA! DOGgerel! I crack myself up…) before?

  34. I got 100% Spinoza and I haven’t the slightest idea who that is… (83% Aristotle…at least I’m familiar with WHO that is!!!) Thanks for the quiz, Theresa, even though it made my head hurt!

  35. @AuntieMame: It’s the “Philosopher’s Drinking Song,” featured in a skit by Monty Python’s Flying Circus. It appears on one of their recordings and also was performed in their live stage shows.

  36. I’m Jean-Paul Sartre, existentialist par excellence!

    Hell is other puppehs.

  37. NB: If you need a quick refresher on the history of philosophers and alcohol:

  38. NTMTOM, les grands esprits se rencontrent. 😉

  39. Also, Aussies will no doubt remember that this was the signature song of the Philosphy Department of the University of Wooloomooloo.

    “Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Hegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.”

  40. AuntieMame says:

    Thanks, NTMTOM! I knew I’d heard it somewhere, and the only thing I could think of was Hitchhiker’s Guide. But it wasn’t sci-fi enough for that.

  41. The spitting image! 🙂

    All this dog needs is a powdered wig and a cravat.

  42. thursday says:

    This is why I love this site.

  43. I am 100% Kant, which is not too troubling…but 62% Ayn Rand? Ick.

  44. I am 100% John Stuart Mill – not sure if that is good but some of what I read on Wikipedia was pretty close to my way of thinking.

  45. You beat me to it, Sigivald!

    If you find a rat that looks just like Edmund Husserl, I will have to leave my husband, find you, and perform some kind of phenomenological reduction. Yes.

  46. Theresa says:

    BerthaS, I think there’s an operation for that.

  47. Well I’m 100% Kant and 82% Sartre.
    Who knew?

  48. NTMTOM, you have officially brought this blog to a new level. of what, i’m not certain. but the fact that you call a pimp a “retro-urban folk archetype” really makes me think.

  49. woofysma says:

    “Translated into dog:

    Rowf grrr howl rowr :tinkle: gurrur ower :whine: bark ruff :pant pant pant: arf growl….”

    It’s kinda like that in English, too.
    Dave – Love it – you’re absolutely right!

  50. Ross1219 says:

    100% Kant, even though I thought we disagreed on the nature of man and knowledge – which sorta fits how I feel about pugs… 🙂

  51. Noelegy says:

    Cerebral CuteOverload! I loves it.

  52. From the guy who first put these two pictures together: thanks for posting this, Mike. This has certainly made my day – and my girlfriend’s, and her roommate.

  53. anner, methinks the pimp is just the reworking of the big bad wolf.

    ie. “I will gobble you up” = “I will take all your money and make you into my ho.”

  54. Theresa, I think I studied there for a semester.

    I like this Mike better than the other one.

    100% Aquinas. 94% Satre, so get to make lof wif Simone. ;).

  55. Philosophers and puppehs? Good grief. This place is getting weirder and weirder…

  56. That is absolutely stunning.


    Right down to the ears.

  57. Rachel of Cyberia says:

    dammit! I’m Ayn Rand, who I only like because she inspired a coupla Rush songs

  58. hon glad says:

    I’m just a girl who Kant say no.

  59. the one on the right looks like he might not yet be fully awoken from his dogmatic slumber

  60. Poohbear says:

    Kimski – I’m 100% Aquinas too! and 93% St. Augustine. Funny, those are the two I’ve recently taken up again (though I’ve sort of set aside Aquinas as being rather too dogmatic for our day.) Augustine is my man! Really Francis of Assisi, but he wasn’t scholastic and therefore not in this list…

  61. I went to college with this dog’s human-mommy.

    This dog is a legend there. She used to get overexcited and beatbox. Also, she drinks right out of water bottles.

    Oh man, I effin’ love Sally Monster.

  62. Katrina says:

    Okay folks, but how can you be 183% of anything?

    100% is all she wrote…..

  63. Here’s a clip for you philosophers that are interested in soccer as well:

  64. Poohbear says:

    Heelarious! Thank you! just what I needed after surviving the Euro football championship right here in sunny Switzerland… The final was Spain-Germany, could just as well have been Greece… The 2 linesmen : Aquinas and Augustine! Nietzsche accuses Confucius of having no free will! I love it. Makes up for a lot of beer soaked annoyance over the past few weeks.

  65. Pink Kitty says:

    That is my favorite Monty Python song EVER!!!!!!!!!!! I can sing that song from memory. Particularly being a philosophy major, it explains ALOT. Heh.

    100% Aquinas
    81% John Stuart Mill

    Combining those two is actually very accurate of my beliefs… I’m impressed.

    *hums the Philosopher Song for the rest of the day and off to spot some camels and take their number*

  66. Not SupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork(GotANewJob) says:

    Wow…100% Sartre. That… makes perfect sense. As does 84% Stoic. I’m not sure about my 94% Kant, though…. Thanks Theresa! That was fun. I needed that this morning.

    (Sheepy, did you get a new job too? I’m really just terrible at coming up with good names… I was banned from D&D as a kid because of it, ha! Good luck or happy time off, whichever it is:D)

  67. ThreeCatNight says:

    One of my cats is a dead ringer for Bucky Fuller, but never thinks “outside the box”, unless it has to do with litter.

  68. ElishaB says:

    (Says in a sing-songy voice)……

    Some people have WAY too much time on their hands!

    Too Funny:)

  69. baroo therefore i bleen

  70. My god, that was a very high-brow post.

    I’m 90% apple sauce and 10% pure bafflement.

  71. Button Bright says:

    Reminds me of the Roald Dahl story about the cat that was a reincarnation of Liszt…

  72. January says:

    You go intellectuals!

  73. The Other One Michelle says:

    You guys are all so smart. I’m regenerating beer-killed brain cells just by being here 🙂

  74. BeanSidhe says:

    “Well, Sartre, we don’t like existentialists around here, and we certainly don’t like French philosophers poncing around in their black polo necks filling everyone’s heads with their theories about the bleakness of existence and absurdity of the cosmos, clear?”

    Wonder what Rimmer would have thought of that puppeh…

  75. Poohbear says:

    OK, here’s one for Hon Glad : once upon a time, when I was an innocent young beansprout, I was discussing Immanuel Kant (in French) with a friend while riding a train in England. Now if you pronounce that particular philosopher’s name in French, it sounds exactly like something else, the way the British would say it. So I was getting a lot of stares, and snickers, until the friend nudged me and I (sort of) got it. Hope the children are in bed…

  76. This is why I love CuteOverload!!!! Love the philosopher quiz, too! I’m Aquinas with a bit of Spinoza! Sounds right on to me.

  77. Poohbear says:

    Fun to watch all the cute-lovin’ philosophers popping up on all sides! Hee-hee!

  78. Theresa – yes, I’ve seen that book. Didn’t think the jokes all explained philosophy as claimed, but it did give me a steady supply of new jokes for a few weeks.

    Why do I feel like I know you?

  79. rosmerta says:

    Mostly Augustine, partly Aquinas, okay … but where was Kierkegaard?!

    Great posts everyone!

    God bless Honors Philosphy 101 and those dusty afternoons in Wister Hall.

  80. rosmerta says:

    Poohbear! Did you say DOGmatic?

    I just had to say that, didn’t I?

  81. I am supposedly Mill. However, I answered a lot of the questions “Doesn’t matter/dislike all answer choices” for a LOT of the questions. But saying something doesn’t matter is quite different from saying that none of the answer choices are exactly right. Maybe the question matters very much, but the quiz authors didn’t offer me an answer I can agree with.

    So who knows? Maybe I’m nothing like Mill at all. I certainly don’t like the modern utilitarians (such as Peter Singer) very much.

  82. Melisma says:

    I’m apparently a toss-up between Kant and Spinoza. I am, however, disturbed that I am 87% similar to Sartre and 67% similar to Rand.

    Now we all need to take the Dead Russian Composer quiz. Tomorrow, after I do some sleeping… nodding off now…

  83. Poohbear, Aquinas-snap!

  84. Ha! Very funny.
    I larfed my head off. Id soundeds like dis, Ha, ha, ha…..plonk.

  85. Aprocitied says:

    😮 It looks like a Jug (Jack Russel/Pug mix). Is it?

  86. It’s a puggle – a pug beagle mix.