That’s “leche,” Señor Einstein

"So I’m making my usual rounds of the Dumpsters out back of Denny’s, when I see this sign that says ‘tryouts for Lucha Libre’."  And right away I’m thinking, "Free milk?! Well, sign me up!

"Turns out my high-school Spanish was a little rusty, because now I’m bouncing all over frickin’ Mexico in a tour bus with no A/C, my stupid mask itches and these tights keep riding up, and five nights a week, some sweaty gorilla who calls himself El Máximo gets to twist me into balloon animals.

"But the chicks dig the cape.  So there’s that."

¡Dios meow!

¡Ay, caramba, Lauren M!

Comments

  1. *smooch* you look handsome, don’t worry kitty.

  2. That cat looks slightly disgruntled

  3. meacu1pa says:

    LMAO!!
    I swear these descriptions are becoming more and more hilarious.

  4. This is the BEST BLURB YET! YES! I cackled so hard I pulled my appendectomy stitches! HAAAAA!

    And the kitty has the appropriate mix of sheepish defiance on his cute little face!

  5. Dios MEOW! I can’t stop laughing! I will hold cuteoverload responsible for torn stitches!

  6. …which is nice.

  7. Mike, I’m beginning to worry about you.

    These uh, imaginary descriptions of bad pick-up lines, wrestling south of the border under an assumed name, combining fishnet stockings, scuba gear, and courting faux pas seem really well formed. The tone rings almost too true.

    They are imaginary, aren’t they?

  8. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! He’s so cute he almost looks like a drawing! I’ve always loved black kitties with gold eyes and would love to have one like that.

  9. I’m betting Señor Gato Negro here has an impressive repertor in the ring.

    I imagine he sticks to the mat, but he can take off in a second, and his finishing move, a giant splash off the back of the couch onto his prone opponent, is devastating. He had a successful Tag venture with Vampiro some time ago, but now he’s solo, feuding with Abismo Negro for the title of Darkest furred wrestler.

  10. Sorry – I don’t get what’s supposed to be “cute” about this?

  11. @Kar: Entirely fictional, I assure you. My own life is quiet and uneventful, which may explain why I have such an overactive imagination.

    So if any of my future posts should make oblique reference to mysterious Swiss bank accounts, or daring midnight raids on top-secret military research facilities, or illegal sales of nuclear centrifuge design secrets to Libya, remember: It’s all just in good fun.

  12. Space Cowgirl says:

    I’m going to take an opposing view from Brenda, and say I don’t see what’s NOT cute about this.

    Also, don’t look now, but there’s a cute baby contest ad at the very bottom. Pasickie!

  13. Entertaining and I smirked at the commentary, but didn’t register on the “cute” meter for me. Good writing, however.

  14. Cat is all “WHAT?!!!”.

  15. Christ on a bicycle Brenda, remove the stick from your rectum. I am so sick of you nuffers. The Kitteh is awesome and cute, Theo & Meg work hard for us, and there is plenty in the world to be snarky at besides this. Just leave if you cannot appreciate it.

  16. Oh, and you too Mike…did not realize you had joined the team….Well done!

  17. binky-mama says:

    “sheepish defiance” indeed!

    He’s all “Don’t you laugh at my cape! If you laugh at my cape I’ll…I’ll…well I’ll do something!!!”

  18. NO, I meant that in the cutest of ways. I have a kitteh and she looks at me with the “what” look and I melt.

  19. take it back.

  20. oh I’m a different Brenda. Maybe I need another screen name.

  21. maybe I’ll just observe and not comment.

  22. BYE

  23. binky-mama says:

    Ha ha, not THAT Brenda the other Brenda!

  24. LOLOLOL!!! Wow it’s easy to push Jen’s buttons! Hey Jenny poo … next time, double up on your valium intake, ok? All I said was that while the writing was good, I didn’t find the pic all that cute and you went ballistic. Wow sweetie pie … get a life and find real issues to go insane over, ok dear? You’ll have an ulcer at an early age if you can’t learn to control your temper when someone doesn’t share your viewpoint.

  25. Brenda vs. brenda: THE FINAL CONFLICT.

    And yes, it is cute.

  26. Point taken Brenda – you’re right. I did overreact – my apologies.

  27. heather_f says:

    I miss Meg.

  28. Okay, that’s perfect.
    The internet can end now.
    (checks watch)
    Yeah. We’re done here.
    (squirting Ronsonol on modem)

  29. maybe this is what my big kitty has in his mind when he launches off the window sill onto my bed. “Super Kitty”

  30. Mathias says:

    Why are cats advertising fireworks so blasted cute?!

  31. (the original) Mel says:

    @NTMTOM: Will you be my boyfriend? I’m serious. I have some scuba gear.

  32. (the original) Mel says:

    @brenda: You’re a jerk.

  33. This is Seimei using mommy’s computer: I look like this fella, and I WANT a cape like that one. I’ll look so awesome in it!

  34. chanpon says:

    It’s Pumaman!

  35. Martha in Washington says:

    Beautiful kitteh but WHAT EXACTLY is that thing on his cape supposed to be. It looks like some scary hybrid of a cat and a bat. A cabat?

    Mike–at first I thought you were very clever, but now I’m just worried. ;)

  36. Catsquatch says:

    “So I’m making my usual rounds of the Dumpsters ….. But the chicks dig the cape. So there’s that.”

    Meg honey, Im starting to worry about you….

    ;D

  37. Sometimes no matter what you do it’s all about the hovertext.

    My money is on Brenda.

  38. LOL!!!

  39. Hon Glad says:

    My best move is the climb up the leg and impale the nose, it goes down a storm and I usually get a submission.

  40. I don’t know why I post here at all. I am humorless and nothing is cute to me.

  41. Okay everyone – I hear you all loud and clear. Yes – I overreacted to brenda/Brenda and I apologise. I came out this weekend to my family as a lesbian and it’s been pretty hard and I guess I lashed out on this site because it’s easier than lashing out at my family.

  42. Jen, just read your post. Not sure what to say about that but bold move to admit that and apoligy accepted.

    [Brenda, you ARE "Jen". And you're banned now. Also, the other person pretending to be "Brenda" is banned. There might be ONE Brenda left in this thread who hasn't been misbehaving... - Ed.]

  43. @Jen: That must have been difficult. CO is a good place to be in *any* emotionally tough situation!

    Meanwhile, kudos to Mathias on identifying the “Black Cat” fireworks logo!! I wondered why it looked familiar!

  44. claudia says:

    awweee. @the Brenda(s?) I think Mr. Kitty is soooo cute because he is black, like MY Mad Maddy, and he is so coolly wearing a cape!

    CUTE! But I can see where someone might say “meh”… just not me, lol.

    And for Jen, I hope you feel better now, CO is a nice place for making us feel better, right?

    OH and one more “SMOOCH” for senor kitty.

  45. Gail, the “Jen” you’re talking to is one of the fake Brendas.

    Let’s congratulate the courage of somebody who actually has some.

  46. you made laugh soooo louuuddd!!!
    That cape is lovely.
    Tell him, “free milk” in Spanish is “leche gratis”! ;-) Poor kitty, now won’t make the same mistake ever again. LOL
    Hugs… Julie, from Argentina.

  47. Rooanne says:

    I didn’t take high school Spanish, and so I don’t know what “Lucha” means, and so I don’t get the joke.
    The cat is cute though.
    I’m gonna look up the word…

  48. Noelegy says:

    Pawesome: EL GATO NEGRO!

  49. Verii hansum kitteh an verii naiss caip. Teh res ai dew knot unnerstan.

  50. pups'nstuff says:

    Lookit them tubby legs! So glad for the banning. I hate humans.

  51. ThreeCatNight says:

    I wipe up de floor wit chu! I don’t wear this cape for nothin’, and I don’t need any stinkin’ ba-jes! So there!

  52. I’m really, really confused about what just happened with the Brejendas. I think someone said they came out of the closet, but they might have been lying? Is that the kind of lie that’s kind of okay because it represents something positive? This is why Teho is the moderator of awesome.

    Gotta go, Bertha is licking my elbow somethin’ fierce.

  53. wagthedogma says:

    ¡Mucha Lucha! :)

  54. I’m hoping to be able to adopt a kitten at the beginning of next week (I’ve finally moved to a flat where I have permission for this) and the temptation to make it a little cape is FIERCE.

  55. loving the cape!!

  56. Totalee Puppy says:

    for OTHER MIKE…Love the
    story, love the cat in cape!
    I was going to explain that “free milk” in Spanish is “leche gratis”,
    but Julie from Argentina beat me to it! “Gratis” means “no cost.” Yes, “libre” also means free,but in the sense of unbound, no restraints. OTHER MIKE, you are now a
    member of Protectors of the Spanish Language–join us for Word Fights in the
    cafeteria!!

  57. bahahaha*gasp*bwaahahaha!1!! u peeps r gonna get me trhown outta da liberry yet wit yer funnynesses! *snort* dios meow… *inktellectual bites hand to keep from squeeing herself in public*

  58. whoa! i’m actually the one that took this photo, posted here http://www.flickr.com/themoongoons

    i’m going to upload the picture of the other adorable cat in a cape right now

  59. Pussytoes says:

    Tee! She said rectum. On topic: beautiful little kitty and oh so cute with his teensy cape.

  60. Rectum? I barely knewum!
    (ba-dump rump)

  61. Sheilagh says:

    Great pix, Jonathan!

    Here’s the explanation for “Lucha Libre” for those who are curious:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucha_libre

  62. KittyMom says:

    Keep posting pics of these anerable (sp?) black kitties!! Wuvs dem!!

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