Il Matadeer!

by Not That Mike The Other Mike on June 18, 2008

The crowd falls still as I enter the ring. At the far end stands my feared and respected enemy: Il Matadeer.

Oh, how they adore me.

He unfurls his cape before him. I lowermy head. It is our signal to begin. Soon, like my father, and hisfather before him, we will be locked in a dance of death, a timelessstruggle from which only one may … may … whuh-HUH?!  HEEEEYYYYY!!

And so it begins...

"Wake up, honey. You were having the bullfight dream again."

"I was not!"

"You do realize that we’re deer, don’t you?"

"I WASN’T HAVING IT, HONEST!"

"It’s all right, sweetie. I’m going to the kitchen — would you like a salt lick?"

 

CUTTIT OUT!!

(sigh…) "Thanks, Mom."

Now, where was I?

Dream big, Angela B.

{ 53 comments }

1 Theresa 06.18.08 at 8:21 pm

And Ferdinand just sat quietly, smelling the flowers.

2 DKN 06.18.08 at 8:22 pm

BLEEN!

*ducks pudding*

3 Theo 06.18.08 at 8:24 pm

…ducks pudding??
[paddle paddle splat splat]

4 Kris 06.18.08 at 8:24 pm

DKN – you bleened too late!

Dear me. :) What a cutie.

5 The Other One Michelle 06.18.08 at 8:29 pm

I love Ferdinand. My favorite story my grandma used to read to me! But the big animal looks like a horse, not a deer…

6 berthaservant 06.18.08 at 8:30 pm

Okay, this is going to sound like I’m picking on NTMTOM (whose posts I actually enjoy quite a bit), but dreaming of a bullfight? I mean, it’s just a joke, and it’s an adorable little deer, but couldn’t he have been dreaming of being an astronaut? What’s next, a puppy dreaming he is veal? A baby stoat hoping he gets a private cell at Guantanamo? Sorry, bullfighting just isn’t something I like to be reminded of. (Please note: I am not calling for a boycott of CO or no further bullfighting references or any such thing, I’m just saying that this was kind of horrifying).

7 Theo 06.18.08 at 8:34 pm

Sometimes I dream I’m falling. Then I land on the mattress, which always wakes me up, and me Schmoop says “Are you all right, Deer?”
…or something like that; I’m usually kinda sleepy.

8 Redzilla 06.18.08 at 8:39 pm

Um, berthaservant, I think it’s a dream of a bullfight, because in the second pic, that’s what the little deer appears to be acting out…

9 The Other One Michelle 06.18.08 at 8:40 pm

Berthaservant, that’s why his mommy woke him up early. She wants him to have happier dreams. Besides, in dreamland bullfighting, the bulls armwrestle for who has to buy the next pint.

10 paranoiagirl 06.18.08 at 8:46 pm

“A baby stoat hoping he gets a private cell at Guantanamo?”

berthaservant, you made my day, but bullfighting and illegally detaining people/stoats makes me sad.

11 fish eye no miko 06.18.08 at 8:47 pm

AHH!! SO cute! And I agree with The Other One Michelle; even though real bullfighting is… icky.is is just a deer’s dream about it, which involves the deer and the matadeer just playing with each other. ^_^

12 JNO 06.18.08 at 9:02 pm

this poster Mike is on acid or something. I love it!

13 Theo 06.18.08 at 9:09 pm

I’m pretty sure that was meant as a left-field compliment, JNO, but, um, fail.

14 kestrien 06.18.08 at 9:18 pm

Aren’t they elk, not deer? But maybe mule deer? IDK.

And in the U.S., you know they have bull fights that don’t hurt them? Just kinda piss them off. Rodeo clowns and all that.

15 katerpie 06.18.08 at 9:24 pm

This is typically the point where I think “I’m not going to read comments anymore” because the nuffing is so excessive. Then I read them anyway.

16 Anne Boleyn 06.18.08 at 9:28 pm

The boy doesn’t want a salt lick, he wants a salt flavored pa-sickle for heaven’s sake!

17 steppy 06.18.08 at 9:29 pm

Hmmmmmm precious spots check knobby knees check rediculously long legs check. definately cute overload. Ker Thuuuuuuuuuuud !!!!!!

18 Tiberia 06.18.08 at 9:35 pm

Kestrien, are you maybe suggesting American rodeos don’t hurt bulls? Or broncs, goats, etc…

And, for the record, I thought NTMTOM’s commentary was pretty cute!

19 dawn 06.18.08 at 9:35 pm

I love ya COL but this is an Elk baby.

20 jamela 06.18.08 at 9:36 pm

i like the wet puddle of love his mama left on his little ol’ head. :)

21 DLT 06.18.08 at 10:06 pm

um…*farm* animals tag?

cute pics/commentary, tho!

22 Paul D. Waite 06.18.08 at 10:06 pm

> I am not calling for a boycott of CO

I am! Boycott! Boycott!

Anyone?

No?

Oh wells.

23 Annie 06.18.08 at 10:14 pm

Wow NTMTOM apparently you are officially???? Hmmmm (thinks and thinks of a word And can’t)

An almost Commentroversy under your belt!
There okay.

24 kestrien 06.18.08 at 10:16 pm

Tiberia,

Well, yeah, but that’s a different issue. What I was specifically referring to, however, was the difference between American-style bull fighting, with rodeo clowns & barrels, vs. Spanish-style bull fighting, with swords.

But what I really mean is:

Elkie, elkie, elkie!

Or, dearie deer.

(can someone tell me which it is?)

25 Annie 06.18.08 at 10:17 pm

Snicker… I like that he is in farm animals… Tee hee.

26 SixFootJen 06.18.08 at 10:36 pm

He may be dreaming of being a big, strong, star-of-the-arena hero… but he ain’t a farm animal! Hee hee hee!

27 Theresa 06.18.08 at 11:18 pm

Re: The top of li’l one’s head in the last pic. Cows have cowlicks, so deer have . . .

28 viola 06.18.08 at 11:24 pm

Cuteness incarnate. Great post, NTMTOM. I think I am going to incorporate “Would you like a salt lick?” into a conversation this week in honor of teh Qte.

29 Martha in Washington 06.18.08 at 11:25 pm

Love the helicopter ears!

And Mike–You are too damn funny!! I like you!

30 Angela B 06.18.08 at 11:49 pm

ZOMG. These are my pictures, I took them at the Calgary Zoo and submitted them and am beyond thrilled they were published!

I thought they were deer, but after reading the comments, I agree that they are elk, because of the mamma. She’s kinda big to be a deer. They were sharing an area with a moose, and I knew that that was no baby moose at least. :-)

31 k. o'dee 06.19.08 at 12:29 am

*clears throat*

Toréa-deer, en gaaaarde!
Toréa-deer!
Toréa-deeeeeeeee [voice goes wonky as hook pulls me offstage]

32 scooterpants 06.19.08 at 12:59 am

“tanks ma, you just mussed up the only part of my hair that wasnt cow-licked”
(cheap punn)
geez…

33 binky-mama 06.19.08 at 1:52 am

tewtelly knobular

34 Kim 06.19.08 at 2:24 am

Berthas – ummm, we lof you, and it *does* sound like you are picking on NTMTOM, based on previous comments on previous postings. …just sayin’

Back to teh Qte – his legs are FULL-DEER size and he has a bebeh body and head. Oh, the disproportionalizm!! What rule is this??

35 (the original) Mel 06.19.08 at 2:52 am

NTMTOM – I’ve loved you since the beginning. I will love you for allllllll C0 time. You are so clever. Kisses.

36 jess 06.19.08 at 4:00 am

those are elk, not deer, I believe.

37 BoidsGottaFly 06.19.08 at 4:43 am

Obviously this adorable baby elk was not dreaming of a dramatic encounter with a matador. C’mon everybody, let’s be real here.

Check the lowered head and large, shapely ears at right angles folks…

This behbeh is dreaming of being harnessed to a hang glider… and FLYING!!!

38 hon glad 06.19.08 at 5:48 am

Jag ar an Elkski.

39 Subhangi 06.19.08 at 5:54 am

Theresa – YAY for the Ferdinand reference!

Theo – I always have the SAME dream! I’m falling, and I land on the mattress and wake up. Always creeps me out.

40 Michelle 06.19.08 at 7:31 am

North American Wapiti (Elk) are a deer species, and are the same species as the European Red Deer. So calling them “deer” is correct.

41 Michelle 06.19.08 at 7:34 am

I sometimes have the most awesome swim-flying dream. I dream I’m flying over the surface of the ocean, and when I see porpoises swimming under the water, I can chase them, dive down into the water and swim with them. Then pop back up and fly over them again. I hate waking up from that one.

42 Katrina 06.19.08 at 1:16 pm

Hmmm, it might be a caribouuuuudle.

43 BeanSidhe 06.19.08 at 4:06 pm

Perhaps, if Momma had let the dream continue, our lil friend would have rushed at the matadeer, knocked him over with a ankle-sweep, kicked the blade and cape out of his helpless hands, then stood on the matadeer’s heaving chest as the downed gladiator of the ring trembled, sweating in fear, praying for a quick end… and then piddled on the poor goit’s head.

44 mahesh 06.19.08 at 6:13 pm

is it me, or does that mum look like a horse to everyone?

45 mahesh 06.19.08 at 6:19 pm

… or an elk?

46 Katrina 06.19.08 at 6:55 pm

A moose bit my sister once…

47 Gail 06.19.08 at 10:10 pm

A matador in the Bugs Bunny vein…(she said, hoping somebunny here knows the title of that cartoon!)

48 Kayla 06.19.08 at 10:33 pm

It’s an elk…to all the questions! :)

49 Not That Mike The Other Mike 06.19.08 at 11:32 pm

@Gail: The title of the Bugs Bunny cartoon is “Bully for Bugs.”

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0045585/

50 Katie 06.20.08 at 2:26 pm

Mynd you, moose bites kan be pretty nasti…

51 Katrina 06.22.08 at 10:58 am

Thank you Katie, I was wondering if someone wold pick that up and play with it.

The People who brought you… have been sacked!

52 AngiePangie 06.23.08 at 7:23 pm

mahesh… I am still thinking it looks like a horse. It’s kind of freaking me out. LOL

53 jinka-brahhh 06.25.08 at 10:25 am

zomg! cutest little nobbular knees love it brus lol :P

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