How to crochet the most redonk cat hat ever

Who are these ridiculous people who insist on making hilarious cozies for EVERY THING ON THE PLANET? I love you People. Serious.

Check out the entire WikiHow article here.

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From the article: "You can make a chin strap but this is only for the most patient andmellow of cats, and definitely not recommended if there arechildren who’ll be trying to put this hat on the cat." OK!

Instructiones
Special thanks to WikiHow authors Hellokitty, Sondra C, Jack H, Flickety, Krystle, Nicole Willson, Anonymous, Chris Hadley, Cipher_nemo, Lorna145, Martyn P and Sender-Inner Karla B.!

55 comments … read them below or add one

  1. AuntieMame says:

    I have to send this to my mom. She is a crochet-er of many, many years and she’s always asking for new ideas of what to crochet. She could make a killing selling these at craft shows!

  2. Kar says:

    Can I say once again that we really need a KNITTED category again? I mean come on folks. That thing has earholes. Earholes people!

    [Don't count on it, Kar... *shiver* - Ed.]

  3. newlee says:

    handy! also doubles as yarmulke when young kitteh has been called to the torah for cat mitzvah.

  4. Paunchie says:

    Who puts a crochet hat on a po unsuspecting cat?! LOL

    Definitely NO on the chin strap!!

  5. From the expression on the cat’s face, I assume the next caption is “Two seconds after this photo was taken, the hat was shredded and buried in the litter box and the cat was on top of the kitchen cabinet, looking down in disgust …”

  6. guineapiggin9 says:

    haha! i jsut saw this and was about to send it to you!! i see you’re already ahead of me on that one…so redonk!

  7. Annie says:

    OMG three cats + three crocheted kitty caps = hilarity for hours
    My Elementary cat algebra lesson for the day.

  8. chanpon says:

    Of course kitty is depressed. Pink totally clashes with calico. :(

  9. M. V. says:

    Bummer. The entire list of directions doesn’t open correctly. I can’t maximize the page, so I can only see up to step 4.5. Is there a fix?

  10. karla b says:

    step 5. Ch
    1, 8 sc in circle, ch 13, skip 4 stitches, re-attach using slip stitch. (This will create the first ear hole.) sc 10 more stitches in circle, ch 13, skip 4 stitches, re-attach using slip stitch, sc 3 more stitches, slip stitch in first sc made. By now your hat should start to curve a little bit, which is what you want.

    step 6. Ch
    1, 7 sc in circle. Note: You will be working into the ‘ear hole’ now, so you will be working in the space under it, but it’s basically like working a normal stitch. 16 sc in the ‘hole’, sc in in each stitch until you hit the next ear hole, 16 sc in hole, 3 sc, slip stitch in first sc made; cut yarn and tie off. Weave in yarn ends with yarn needle.

  11. Paunchie says:

    MV on top of the pic there is a link where it says “check out the wikihow”

  12. Seven Paws says:

    Calico thinks: “Oh you are such dead meat now for making me wear this.”

    Crochet patterns on CO…my day is now complete!

    Hmmm…makes me wonder if my own torbie diva would consent to wearing this.

  13. Winni-Pig says:

    That’s nothing compared to the SuperCat cape I crocheted for our Joliette last summer!

    SuperCat!

  14. jen says:

    that kitteh is peesed off!!!
    doesn’t the owner realize she is an “autumn” and not a “winter”?

    the earholes crack me up.

  15. Paunchie says:

    “somehow I feel cozier than usual”

    hehehehe!

  16. m in athens says:

    Ha ha– cute! I crocheted my very patient cat a beret-like thing, (he kinda digs getting his ears mooshed), but I think this would stay on better. Maybe I’ll have to try this tonight.

    As for kitty being pissed off in the photo, I think she looks pretty chill, considering.

  17. Skyweaver says:

    This reminds me of the treesweater:

    http://redshirtknitting.com/?page_id=271

  18. When will this facachtah ceremony be over already? I’m shvitzing with the heat. I could use a spritzer, and Lenny says they have those lox from the good deli at the reception….

    (let’s hear it for the tribe!)

  19. Brandi says:

    That cat’s facial expression reads “I am SO going to piss in your shoes tonight.”

  20. Kaya says:

    HA HA HA HA!
    Earholes!
    HA HA HA HA!
    Oh,and the pink SO doesn’t go with the orange. Late night revenge to be expected….

  21. jmuhj says:

    OMG a topi for cats. Calico girl lookz REEL HAPPII tew bii warin zis tew!

  22. Jennifer says:

    I crocheted my cat a sweater once, with her initial on it and everything! But when I put it on her she just lies down and won’t get up. So ungrateful.

  23. sunnymum says:

    dignity affronted? check!
    poor kitty. never did have the urge to put clothes or hats on cats. I did lol at the post with two cats that each had on a hand made sweater – but I liked it because they didn’t look p.o.’d.

  24. wagthedogma says:

    To each his or her own, but I’ve never really understood the whole making clothes for your pet and dressing it up like a Barbie kind of thing. I’m not sure I’d ever want to do anything to my cat that would make it look like it’s quietly planning my slow, painful death, as this Cali obviously is… :D

  25. Theresa says:

    Newlee– cat mitzvah! LOL

  26. amy j says:

    I almost sent this in too – that’s exactly the way my kitty would look at me if I tried to put a hat on him! I thought of yarmulkes also – and then I thought gee, those ear loops would work for bald guys too, keeping their yarmulkes on their heads… Whaddaya think, will it sell?

    (Happy being able to eat bread again, Berthaservant!)

  27. amy j says:

    (PS I’m married to a very wonderful bald guy who is constantly losing his yarmulke)

  28. Theo says:

    Hey M.V. — fixed it!

  29. Marianne says:

    I knitted my bff’s cat a Santa hat with little holes for her ears to stick out. She was *almost* as thrilled as this sweet kitteh.

  30. Juniper Jupiter says:

    LOL@Newlee!! If a puddy tat is Jewish, then instead of having a muzzlepuff, they would have a MOZZLETOFF!!!
    Get it? As in Mazel Tov? XD!!!
    Hey, you started it!!

  31. Dana says:

    it’s a MEOW-MULKA!!!!!

  32. ThePhantomOfTheNet says:

    “Crochet”? What’s that? Is that a CO term I haven’t learned yet? Is it anything like that sport where they take a wooden mallet and knock a ball through hoops in the ground?

    But anyway, regarding the picture… I’m sure a female cat might want that sweater thingy on its’ head. My little lions, though, would prefer chainmail armor hoods.

  33. Melisma says:

    This is hilarious. I’m glad that they note that some cats will tolerate this but most won’t… my belief is that the majority of pets don’t like being dressed up, but there are a few little divas (and divos) who love it.

    Berthaservant, do people around you say “those lox”? My family always refers to lox as unquantifiable, like milk, so we would say “that lox.” Unless we were using it as a metaphor for lazy people (“Get off the couch, you bunch of loxes!”).

  34. cliffette says:

    I want to take this hat and put it on the pouty angry kitty from a few posts ago… then run for cover!!

  35. Clare2 says:

    @Juniper Jupiter – Mozzletoff?! Oy veh!
    (dated a Jewish guy, best friend is Orthodox, I can almost sound right saying it!) Love it!

  36. Totalee Puppy says:

    JEN AND CHANPON–Thanks for
    the great comments! HOL
    (Howling Out Loud)…Kitty
    is maybe looking disgusted
    so she won’t get four matching booties…anything
    that slows a cat down is
    okay with me!

  37. Totalee Puppy says:

    AMY–It beats the hair clips!

  38. Ali says:

    Cute.. It looks like the cat’s brain is showing.

  39. chet's momma says:

    thank God, not ONE mention of the dreaded icy treat name uttered by some human kid, whew!

  40. redhed says:

    Do you mean “Pasickie”???????

  41. Hon Glad says:

    Gah, the indignity, I am not going out dressed like this.

  42. Subhangi says:

    Isn’t that a wee BIG for a yarmulke? No wonder kitteh is grumpy.

  43. brinnann says:

    Is it okay for yarmulkes to be a bright color like this? I’ve only ever seen them in neutral colors, like black, grey, white, etc.

    And there’s no way I would’ve ever spelled that right if you guys hadn’t done it for me bleen.

  44. ThreeCatNight says:

    Newlee and Berthaservant – I’m still laughing!

    “Oy, a pink one yet she makes for me. It couldn’t be blue, or maybe red, it has to be a pink one. Such humiliation she gives me! A mishigana with the knitting needles!”

  45. Theo says:

    3CatPM — LOL @ creative spelling… sounds like a rabid Wolverines fan!

  46. M. V. says:

    To Theo and other helpers, thanks for the complete set of directions!

  47. mberkie0 says:

    If I tried this with my Mr. Picky, he’d crochet me a yarmulke with his teeth on my right pinkie!

  48. catablob says:

    I can’t believe they got the hat onto a calico.
    They must have anesthetized her first.
    Even then i bet someone had to take a little trip to the bathroom cabinet for some bandaids.

  49. Kar says:

    Oh come on! Think of all the fun we’ve had with cozies! Kitten, puppeh, heck, even penguin, tree and my favorite, apple cozies.

  50. amy j says:

    Brinnan – they come in all kinds of patterns and colors, decorated for sports teams, cartoon characters (Homer and Bart, anyone?), giant smiley faces, slices of watermelon, or with multi-colored designs, you name it! In Israel they sell them by the dozen with patterns and colors that would let this kitty feel right at home.

  51. Sharon Wilson says:

    That cat is looking like, “I TEWTELLY hate this hat!

  52. Sissy says:

    Two more cat hat knitting patterns found

    From France: http://spindlesandspices.blogspot.com/2008/04/international-cat-hat-france-le-mieux.html

    From Thailand: http://spindlesandspices.blogspot.com/2008/03/knit-thai-headdress-take-2.html

    I’m from Canada. Anybody know where I can find a pattern for a knitted Mountie hat for my cat?

    ….serious posts only!

  53. mif says:

    okay, i made one of these right away and tried to put it on all three of my cats (not all at once). they all hated it and shook it off immediately–i did not make the chin strap, so it fell off easily with the first shake. so i put it on my webkinz cat instead. she wears it happily!

  54. Gail says:

    @Sissy: If you find one up there in Canada, will it be a “toque”???

    LOLing at all the yarmulke/meowmulke ref’s!

    “Hast sie gesehn in deinem Leben???”

  55. brinnann says:

    This is one of the many great things about CO: The peeps are so diversified and helpful that you can get an answer to just about anything, no matter how un-pet-related it is.

    Thanks, Amy J. Your description sounds extremely familiar to the American trend of baseball caps (is it just the US?), which some men seem to refuse to leave the house without.