This is a stick-up!

Empty your pockets of ALL the dried cat food you have and place it in this bag here. I MEAN IT


Nice lil’ masked bandito, Eleanor W. I gave him everything I had.



  1. ‘Coons! I loves me some bandits. Methinks we needs more here on CO 😀

  2. Dan Bledwich says:

    Meeeeeeg, haven’t we seen this pic on CO before??

    [I don’t think so, this time, but feel free to go looking… if you find it, go ahead & stick the post’s URL in another comment – Ed.]

  3. Martha in Washington says:

    I’d clean out my cupboards for this lil dude!!

  4. Wow!!! Is that someone’s pet? Or did he really just wander in the house? He’s so cute! I’m not sure he wants the special kidney formula I feed my cat, but he can have some!I have to say he’s kind of small, the ones we get around here are freaking huge, like a big tumbleweed!

  5. So cute! Not sure he really wants my kidney diet cat food, but hey, I’m willing to hand it over! Our racoons are much bigger, like tumbleweed size, but maybe that’s their winter coat. I just know they were outside my door one night and I wasn’t about to tell them to stop eating the cat food!

  6. Regina Franchi says:

    They like Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.

    No really…one winter we had a whole herd of raccoons coming over the house for supper…they LOVED PB&J and the warm milk we left out for them. Momma even brought the babies by the next season to show off.

  7. So cute, so naughty, so aggravating. These guys break into my house through the cat door WHEN I”M HOME and destroy my kitchen. I woke up one night to see one standing in the bedroom staring at me, then it growled at me and told me that my taste in decor was horrible, made fun of my pajamas and then told me to get the heck out of my own house. OK, not all of that is true but he was in my bedroom and scared the daylights outta me.

  8. They also unlocked the chicken coop and beat up our beloved chicken, Mister Fatty. 😦

  9. OMG they are learning to walk bipedally! Our dominion as rulers of the earth is threatened!

  10. berthaservant (no longer berthaslave) says:

    I imagine heem with an Edward G. Robinson voice:

    Myah, me and the boys, we’re gonna mess up your garbage cans, see? Myah.

    lol poeski

  11. Hon Glad says:

    Muchos grathias for de kibble seniora.

  12. COON-A-LOONS!!!

  13. Woods Walker says:

    raccoons may be cute,but they can be vicious enough to out fight a pit bull.-Woods Walker

  14. @Poeski & Subhangi: LOL!

    “Esto es un robo! Manos arriba!!”

    It’s a little hard to take this bandito seriously, standing upright. I think you could tickle his belleh and he’d cave!!!!

  15. It is UNCANNY how bipedal that little raccoon looks. I am now convinced that this is his normal mode of locomotion. Did you ever see that video of the dog with only hind legs, that walks around like a freaky little person? I imagine him walking around the neighbourhood like that. Everyone knows him. He sure spooks new arrivals, though.

  16. Something about the way this ‘cooner is standing and the look on his face reminds me of Rugby from The Christmas Toy. Anyone else?

  17. I get TONS in my back yard and thoroughly enjoy watching the babies play. They certainly raid my bird feeder and bird bath. Occassionally, I will sit out apples or other natural foods.

  18. HA! What a cutie! Makes me forget about the much larger, meaner, walking-on- four-legs variety that break dances on the roof at 3am and use the kids’ sandbox as a restroom!

  19. Argh. Have had too many encounters with the things at camp to remotely like them.

    Trust me, do NOT pay protection money (food) to this little Mafioso!

  20. ButtaRumCake says:

    @Poeski LOLOL!!! What kind of pajamas were you wearing? Please don’t tell me they were the red wool ones with the flap in the back?
    *falls on floor giggling uncontrollably*

    P.S. Is Mr. Fatty OK?

  21. I’m sad to see the proof that raccoons don’t have coon-ta-loons 😦

  22. SoCalSis says:

    I too have had close encounters of the scary kind with these seemingly innocuous fellas. ‘Specially when they gang up– then they’re really really BAD (and not in a good way). My magical magnetic cat door will not let anything in that is not wearing the magical magnetic amulet, so I feel safe in my bed.

  23. Ermine Violin says:

    We had a serious raccoon overload at our farm last summer – they are cute and all, but they are not cuddly or friendly. They want food, they want it NOW and they don’t want you near them. Don’t be fooled by the cute little faces. Babies are not good pets either. Oh about a week they’re cute and all… but after that, they bite, they tear things up and they bite.

    Enjoy raccoons from afar… seriously.

  24. LittleRockerGurl says:

    Another reason to enjoy from afar: ‘coons can pass nasty diseases like rabies. A wild ‘coon that appears tame and docile may simply be ill instead. Look but don’t touch!

  25. lsuhillary says:

    This is reminding of the trouble I am in with my father-in law. He had been trying to catch this raccoon for three weeks and I let it out the trap when he finally caught it. But they were gonna eat him! Just so you know, raccoons of the world you owe me!!

  26. “Excuse me is this the Shirt Tales movie open call?”

  27. Rachel of Cyberia says:

    Walking-upright raccoons and cats with thumbs…say goodbye to the top of the food chain, everyone!

  28. The next step in Racoon evolution:

    Walking like a Red Panda.

  29. Yikes. I’d crap my pants if I saw this in my house.

  30. I’ve had raccoons come in my house before but never on two legs! And they ALWAYS came for the dry cat food!

  31. Oh my goodness! Too cute!

    @Poeski – hahahahahahaha! I’m sitting here still laughing at your post.

    I grew up with raccoons always trying to get in the trash cans. Woe to you if you didn’t bungee cord the lids onto your trash cans at night! These guys are world class scavengers!!!
    Once we moved into the other house, two raccoons that were LITERALLY beating the crap out of each other on the back deck woke my dad up one night. He thought somebody was rather blatantly trying to break into the house or something. He tried to Shoo them away, and they looked at him like, “Whatever dude.” And of course, went back to screaming and fighting. The next morning, the deck was covered with raccoon poop and hair! Lovely!

  32. I think that’s a tiny person in a raccoon suit.

  33. ThreeCatNight says:

    Didn’t know that these little guys could walk upright! Cute – but deadly!

    “Please, Sir, may I ‘ave some more?”

  34. They LOOK cute, but raccoons are becoming a growing problem in more-populated areas. After reading this link, you will never see them in the same way again.
    Raccoon roundworm

    Many raccoons carry a roundworm called baylisascaris. Infected raccoons pass baylisascaris eggs in the feces. Other animals and people can get infected if they accidentally swallow the eggs in soil or water. Developmentally disabled persons or young children who play outside are at highest risk.
    After the eggs are swallowed they hatch into larvae that move to different parts of the body and can cause serious illness within a week. Symptoms may include tiredness, lack of coordination, loss of muscle control, blindness, and coma.
    Baylisascaris infection is rare, but is believed to be underdiagnosed. Anyone suspected of having swallowed raccoon feces should seek health care immediately. Early treatment can prevent infection and serious illness.—source: Seattle & King County Public Health)

  35. moral of the story: don’t eat raccoon poop

  36. For serious!
    Always know where the poop you’re eating comes from!!!!

    Elegance and Sophistication, Twenty-Four by Seven.™

  38. From regular CO posters, Noel Coward and Cole Porter. 😉

  39. Ooh ooh ooh! Which one am I??

  40. Kallisto says:

    Yep, Poeski, that was a really funny comment. And to tell you the truth, I’m sure he was disapproving of your PJs, your decor and everything else.
    And I’d also like to know if Mr Fatty lived to tell the tale. Don’t keep us in suspense!!!

  41. Don’t feed racoons…they bring back friends and family in droves, and will strive to get into your house any way they can! Cute buggers, tho…

  42. I used to have a raccoon come in through the cat door once a week or so at my urban townhouse. He’d neatly peel a banana, eat it, wash his hands in the cat’s water, then leave the peel on the floor. At first I though a family member had eaten a banana and left the peel next to the trash can, but I kept finding more later but never saw the coon.

    My cat is brave but was scared of it. He started waking me up each time it came in and I finally saw the coon leaving through the cat door one early morning. I found a way to scare him off.

    We had a system of two cat doors, one from the house into the garage, then one from the garage out to the patio. My cat woke me up in time to see him go into the garage. I quickly and quietly open the patio door, lights off and waited until he was leaving the patio, facing away from me. I made the most ungodly and unrecognizable sounds (growling, screeching, gurgling) with my mouth and he ran like hell and never came back!

    The unseen imagined threat behind him was far scarier than some yelling human!

  43. He does look freakily natural walking on 2 feet.

  44. I’ve also had a “wild” raccoon at a Texas state park walk quickly out of the woods, come right up to me and gently take a banana out of my hand (that I was in the process of eating) and run back in the woods. As the coon took the banana, my husband said, “Don’t feed that racoon!”

    Duh! I didn’t have a choice. What was I going to do, slap him? The coon, I mean! Then he brought his four friends and we had to go inside the screened shelter and latch the door. They tried to get in for quite a while.

    Don’t be fooled, they will do anything to get to your food and can be extremely destructive and viscious. If you get bitten, you will probably require rabies treatment since the coon will run off before he can be caught checked for rabies.

  45. Note to Patty P: Time to cut back on the bananas. ;o)

  46. Oh man, that’s classic! That’s really funny!

  47. My friend Cindi was camping once and two raccoons came up and distracted her while two others stole her cup of whiskey.

  48. I LOVE coons! (I know, I know, they’re destructive, nasty, mean and carry worms and rabies) I’ve had three as pets and many wild visitors. I just can’t help myself!! My Outlaw is the best pet I’ve ever had!

    I SO love the photo!

  49. …banditos ar laik zat biikawz zey haf tew diifend zemselfs. Leaf zem aloan laik yew shud. Zey will knot harm yew.

  50. looks like a baroo is coming my way?

  51. Mr. Frito Bandito looks like he walked in to borrow a cup of sugar. :/

  52. meowandwoof says:

    OMG!!!! I’ve been honored to raise 2 baby racoonbs for 6 months (and then release) under the watchful eye of a wildlife rehab and it was unbelievable. The racoon would hang with my black lab, several cats and my lop earred rabbit. They imprint just like ducks and would follow me and dog everywhere. I’m sad the folks up north don’t take wildlife as seriously as they do in South Carolina. I’d love to foster the varmints every year. If anybody wants more info, I’m happy to give it.

  53. lol @ Minya. My brother’s two cats did the same thing with fish he was defrosting for dinner. I guess they didn’t dig booze. 🙂

  54. I had a racoon problem too, they came in through the cat door, tore the kitchen up, ate the cat food and left. We set a live trap and caught 6 in a week. They are terribly cute, I would get up in the morning and see one in the trap lookin at me with sad eyes, and go “aww, poor wittle racoon” We took them to a nearby lake and dropped them off. We could have caught them all summer, but we decided it would be easier to get rid of the cat door.

  55. NameChangedToProtectInnocent says:

    I also had one coming in the cat door for awhile, I never saw it but clearly that’s who it was (washed food in the cat’s water bowl, certainly the cats did not do that). Finally had to shut the cats in at night and close cat door. I did also see a family in the front yard one evening, 3 took off and one got left behind, it was really sweet how he cried and searched for them until they suddenly came back from across the street to retrieve him. They all danced around each other reuniting and then all 4 took off again. Happy ending.

  56. Mary (the first) says:

    I also had raccoons come in through cat door, I never saw them in the house but I know it was them (cats don’t wash their food in the water dish). Finally had to shut off cat door at night and keep cats in. .they were skeered!

  57. Totally gonna go watch Over the Hedge now. 🙂

  58. Dogbreath says:

    This looks just like the raccoon I encountered one fine summer evening half a block down from my former apartment in very very urban, densely populated East Rogers Park, Chicago, IL. I was going east, he was heading west as we approached each other down the dimly-lit sidewalk. I saw the vague shape of a four-legged critter, bigger than a cat but smaller than most dogs, appearing weirdly like some sort of miniature bear, loping casually down the parkway towards me. When he got about ten feet away he stopped and stood upright just like our little burglar here. He peered at me intently. I do believe he stood up to get a better look. He apparently decided I was harmless, for he then dropped back down to all fours and continued unconcernedly on his way. A charming encounter, and a reminder for me (back then when my life was less animal-centric than it is now) that wildlife is everywhere, even in the heart of our human-made urban jungles.

  59. It’s like a little Rory Calhoun! Standing & walking!

  60. Hee hee Maggie. Mr Burns totally has the best lines.

  61. spaceaged says:

    We have to lock our pet doors at night now due to raccoons in San Francisco. Amazing how friggin’ cute they are but they will gang up on and work as a pack on your pets. I’ve tried live trapping them so i could relocate them. No luck. They thought the bait in the trap was a hospitality buffet.

  62. pants! and jacket! and mask!

  63. Totalee Puppy says:

    I keep wishing there was a
    BAG somewhere nearby…a big paper sack? Yeah, the
    whole thing is beginning to
    sound like Trick-or-Treat…

  64. Patty Cakes says:

    I gave in to a raccoon’s dry cat food request. The next day I didn’t and it left me regurgitated pasta shells on my door mat. Can anyone tell me what kind of gesture this was? I am still so confused.

  65. Raemie L. says:

    I’m LMAO at the pic’s captions and ppl’s comments.

  66. Mr. Fatty , our beloved hen, did survive the attack but she was really messed up. Someone (looks at upstairs neighbor whose been a bad chicken mom) whose turn it was to put the chickens to bed and lock the coop did not and the raccoons took full advantage. Mr. Fatty didn’t eat for days afterwards so she was no longer fat and none of the chickens laid an egg for a good week from their trauma. Mr. Fatty eventually recovered but she was never the same chicken.
    I was sleeping and heard a strange noise so I got up and there was the raccoon, just standing there giving me stink eye. My PJs were very simple red flannel, is it a crime to wear red flannel after Memorial Day? The critter totally did the “No she didn’t, I can’t believe what she’s wearing” and so totally dissed my furniture, and I don’t even have anything from IKEA, it’s all antiques!
    But in all seriousness, if children come into contact with raccoon poo and accidentally get it in their mouths they really could suffer from some terrible illnesses. They are cute but nasty critters. I installed a lawn for a client (I’m a professional gardener)and the critters came out every night and rolled up all the lawn to get the grubs underneath. I know a couple of people that have been bitten and had to get rabies shots. These people were just minding their own business.
    So please enjoy the cuteness from a distance, PLEASE DON”T FEED THEM, and don’t get hurt if they hate on your wardrobe or decor.

  67. exceedingly cute and kind of hilarious because he looks all “Wha?” At least cute for about 2 seconds before the carnage ensues. yessiree, this is the kind of cute you only want to see in pix, for sure.

  68. I thought the raccoons were cute too until a gang of them got my husband into a headlock and made off with our “Think Spring” seasonal flag. Then they stole his identity and bought electronic goods and cases of potato chips.

    No, not really. But I really did used to think they were cute and now I just admire them for their fortitude and devious kleptomania.

  69. I’ve got to say that I absolutely LOVE the comments people write in. So many of them are as witty as the photos are cute. Many paper towels have been used wiping spit soda off my computer moniter after reading some of the more outrageously funny comments!

  70. A friend of mine grew up with a pet raccoon, who was basically the same age as he was. The first time the parents left him alone with a babysitter, they forgot to warn her. She opened the door to let in the dog, and in walks a raccoon right behind it! She couldn’t chase it out, so she hid with the baby in the bathroom until the parents came home. I laugh out loud every time I picture that!

  71. To Poeski: Well, nobody has asked, so I will…Um, a hen? Named “Mr.”?

  72. Sharon, a hen named Mr…..well, I do live in San Francisco after all where gender lines are really very blurry. And Fatty always acted kinda butch. But there is a longer story behind it that is just too long to tell here so you will just have to live with the mystery, the enigma, the riddle that is Mr. Fatty.
    BTW, when the raccoons attacked the chickens my 2 cats totally tried to defend the chicks by circling the raccoons and howling and hissing. They did a fairly good job of slowing the attack till I got out there to break it up.

  73. I know that they are scary as all getout and can be mean, but they are so stinking cute!! I would surrender willingly (from the top of my bookshelf).

  74. Poeski – brilliant! (all of it), Patty P – the thought of someone screeching to scare off a racoon had me nearly wetting myself, and
    NameChangedToProtectInnocent – your story of racoon family love is TOO adorable. I’m still skeered of them. I remember the scene in “Elf”. Does somebody need a hug???

  75. oh boy, is he ever cute. Does he live there or what? Is he a pet? Oh man, I want a pet racoon. There are not enough pet raccoons.

  76. I had a racoon who would stick his head through the pet door, which was right by my bed. His litten hands were just like a humans. He stuck his hands in and he looked up at me questioningly. I said, “no no!!” and he understood and left just like that.

  77. Poeski: LOL! Too funny! I have a male cat that thinks he’s female, so I certainly understand. I like your cats’ response. I have a couple that would do exactly that! One of them will actually growl like a dog, if he hears a loud noise outside. And the other one trapped a medium-sized dog in our yard. Our neighbor had to coax it (the dog) out under the fence!

  78. stacey says:

    I have lots of coonies hanging out in my back yard. They are not vicious, but actually very sweet. They can be a bit messy, tho. A tip for those with coonies being a bit destructive: keep a nerf ball or two readily available for the critters. This will occupy their need to thrash something.

  79. Poeski: I love your chiken stories as much as I love picture. Also, karebear, coon-ta-loons: briliant.