If my cats learned how to do that…I’d be so f***ed

A WELL-DESERV BUNNY DISAPPROVAL for me–I am printing a RE-TRACK-SHUN…
PLEEZ DO NOT CALL 1-800-GET-DOGS! I checked it out-
mebbe a store cause they dont answer at 7:50 AM (central.) Good thing other
dogs are smarter than me–This little dog from the streets–I got a good heart-an-all, but SMART?
WEEEEEELLLL…One time I dreamed I got a gret honor–THE RODES COLLAR!! Dream on, Dummie…HEY, YOU WANT
SMART, CALL A LOCAL CAT!!
“AlWAYS ON CALL–NO DOOR
PROBLEM TOO SMALL…”

Cats think theyre pretty
great cause they can do stuff like this…OK, so cats are GREAT…No door is any match for Houdini
here…Just when you thought it was safe to go
to the bathroom…You want safety? Call 1-800-GET-DOGS.

So when our cats were bitty kitties, they were not very good at jumping. One of them, Udon, was verrry proud when she finally gained enough coordination to make it to the toilet seat in one jump. From then on, she’d do it all the time, over and over just to impress herself.

Then one day, the man of the house lifted the lid and seat to use the toilet and Udon decided to impress him. So she ran at full speed from under the bed, through the entryway, and skidded around the corner into the bathroom. She then took a flying leap and landed… straight in the toilet bowl!

Kittehs, as it turns out, can change direction almost in mid-jump and she was out of that toilet as fast as she got in. Luckily he hadn’t started yet as then she would be in an even unhappier state!

“one paw underneath the door and finds the thing that stops the door from banging in to the wall. And then she pulls on this thing so it makes an annoying “doinnnngggg” sound.”

ovah and ovah!! LOLOL!!!

that made me spew my coffee

Having unsuspecting people over who aren’t used to the toilet-herd mentality is the best.

Nothing is better than hearing your father, literally, squeal like a 5 year old girl whilst relieving himself. He failed to notice our baby girl Koji accompanied him, until she began leisurely climbing up the inside of his pantleg. He didn’t seem to think this was as funny as the rest of us did…

These days I have gotten used to Koji on the laundry chute, Truffles on top of the shower doors, Poose in the tub, and The Duke in my lap to witness the goings-on. I think they all blink in unison to make me clinch. Maddening!

Umm, two of our three kitties — the two agile ones — locked themselves into our downstairs bathroom a few weeks ago. From the inside.

Luckily our landlord has a sense of humor and is a friend, so he didn’t mind cutting a couple of holes in the wall to let them out.

Good times.

Evil geniuses (genii) these kitties are.

bev- LOL at your point about Torties. I have one too and I know exactly what you mean. The Tortie Motto: Why work when you can meow? I think this is also sometimes called “Tortitude.”

My cat Loki understands perfectly how to open ordinary doors, sliding patio doors, even windows – his paws just aren’t quite capable of it. When he tries to turn a doorknob, usually his paw-pads are too smooth to get a grip. I’ve seen him try to do the “push simultaneously down and sideways” that opens a sliding door, but he can’t quite manage the sideways part. And I’ve also seen him try to push up a sash window that was open about an inch. Good thing I don’t have any doors that open with lever handles.

Great thread, I keep coming back for laughs. One of my foster babies, after headbutting his way into the shower, would play with the rubber suction cups on the shower mat, getting them unstuck one by one. I swear you could see him smile while at it. Meanwhile his sister is curled up in the sink waiting for me to turn on a trickle of water to play with. I used to end up brushing my teeth in the kitchen. As for toilet attendance, why, of course. Good place to flop down on the cool tile floor.