Have you seen the slightly longer version? The camera pulls out to reveal another kitteh a few feet away, meowing in an unsure (but much less intelligible) manner …
I’m probably revealing vast ignorance here, but is this cat actually MAKING these noises>? This isn’t a human voice imposed on the image? ‘Cause this is kinda scary . . . .
I was wondering that too, Mrs. P. I think it’s real? The longer video LimeyG posted shows another cat, so unless they perfectly placed that meow audio, it’s hard to say whether it’s fake. The audio quality was great intentionally, to get the warbling kitty so it isn’t surprising that the meow is very loud as well.
Oh no, no, no, no, no. I am not watching this! I know this video! It will KEEL me one day. But not today! I need my brain a little longer and I like to breathe. Today is the day you almost got pyrit!~ I am going away now! Bye bye!
Really!
Really!!!
oh, it’s real. Those are angry kitteh noises. When I worked at a vet hospital, those are the noises that made us get out the elbow length thick suede gloves
Too funny, tears I’m crying,
Too much, now I’m dying,
When I’m ded, afterward,
In my wallet, my organ donor card,
(You’ll also find my poetic license,
Please return it to the Bard)
“To Oh Long Johnson cat on the screen,
I donate my side-splitted spleen.
To Why I Eyes Ya mad feline,
I donate what’s left of my mind.
And to the “yummies” pug named Charmaine,
I donate my melted brain.”
Eww! Creepy! I’d die if my cat starting making noises like that. (Especially since I’m pretty sure he’d swear in front of the kids and start complaining about everything.)
I’ve never seen that before! I feel sorry for the cat, though, because you know it must be REAL unhappy to make those sounds, but wow is that funny! ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY! HA!
I think what disturbs me about this is the horrible laugh track. It calls into question the whole nature of sound and has always sort of backed me into the corner of believing that this isn’t “real.” (Don’t laugh, but I actually write about and study this sort of thing for a living — the relationship between live events and mediation).
So I can’t see it as cute, or even funny, just forced. But I grant that is probably just my sensibility, I’m not trying to persuade anyone else. It SHOULD be funny. But I’m not laughing.
Also, we have a cat that looks like this cat — her name is Theo (really) and she’s one of the meanest, hissin-ist, scratchin-ist cats I’ve ever known.
hey bertha: i don’t know for sure, but i think the laugh track might come directly from the live audience at america’s best home video. in which case it’s not a “laugh track” at all!
Ashagato — nah, that’s a canned laugh track, all right. I think it was the Animal Planet version of America’s Funniest Videos to start with (that is, not AFV itself) before somebody “captioned” it. At least for me, though, it doesn’t detract much from the You’re-So-Cute-When-You’re-Angry kitty and the surreal subtitles.
SBA — Don Piano kitty’s just mad about the new kitten, who’s out-of-frame for most of this clip. (At our house, Spot still isn’t too happy about Rikki being around, but they’ve come to terms.)
My cat does that on occasion when she sees the neighbor kitty at the window. Neighbor kitty stands up, front paws on the window in the door. My poor kitty loses it.
I love watching AFV again not that they have an actually FUNNY host. They still pick the worst winners tho. (A baby, a animal and a random) I would hate to go up against a “cute” baby video. The “cute” baby videos are rarely as funny as the pet ones!
Now you have to post the talking dogs video! (no, not yummies)
Sorry to be the party pooper, but that cat isn’t happy. What’s done is done, but I don’t know how you guys can laugh at it or find it cute.
My cat looks very very similar to that, and the eyes that cat has in that video are the same eyes my cat has when she’s scared to hell as a result of fireworks….not good…
The feral cats I feed outside sometimes sound like this at night when a can of feline whoop ass is about to be opened! Each time I watched this, it just got funnier and funnier! My favorite part is the little lilt in his voice as he says “Oh, Don PiANNNooo!”
Angry kitty cat! And yes – pissed off kitty’s really do sound like that – and like Maggie said – get out those thick leather gloves!
I had a cat that talked to himself just like that – especially when any neighbor kitty’s came by to visit. We have one now that’s conversational – just not so intelligible. He scares the dog, though. Her ridge goes up and she runs to mama or papa for salvation.
I have not clicked this video. I will lose it if I do. I have seen it many times before only there was no canned laughter, only subtitles. Good, good stuff, man. I can’t even think about it.
We saw this on AFV, too. It was quite some time ago, I think. My daughter and I still say “Oh Don Piano!” to each other, much to the confusion of others in our family.
Wow, I have a Siamese cross that makes similar noises when she sees birds out the window, except she first makes a chirring noise and then goes into the growly dialogue. She’s not stressed really, she just wants to get at the birds.
C’mon, people, this is what a sick cat does before it throws up. It’s not funny or cute. The poor cat is obviously distressed and the owners are too dumb to see it. It’s not “talking”. And the laugh track makes it even tackier.
I’m glad some other cats chimed in with why the cat was going on about Don Piano. Its a relief to know that it was just the usual feline politics and not the cat being in pain. And yea, those are REAL cat sounds. I have had my cats posturing at neighborhood cats and making those kinds of sounds.
To the person that posted the Threadless link, Threadless isn’t selling that shirt, the design was just submitted for voting.
They should sell it though.
That’s the sound of a jealous/territorial cat. Our old Snicklefritz, who looked just like that cat, made that exact noise only once in his 20 years. I had fallen asleep on the back porch, and a neighbourhood cat that knew me came and curled up on my chest. Snickle saw us from inside the screen door, and I awoke to that terrible, surreal noise. I’m sure he was calling me a scarlet woman! It took forever to make peace with him.
I’m still kind of surprised (I guess I shouldn’t be though) when a lot of people feel guilty about laughing at this video, or say it isn’t cute. The facts behind the video confirm that there was another cat in the room and the Oh Don Piano cat just really didn’t like the intruder. The cat’s not in danger, it’s not about to hold an embassy hostage, it’s just stressed because of another cat, NOT because of the human with a camera.
Cats will either learn to get along, or avoid each other, but it wasn’t the human’s fault the cat was angry. Video, however, is all the human’s fault, and I say bravo. It’s hilarious.
I do understand why some of you feel this way though, cause we don’t like to see the bad things that happen to animals, and in some cases (baby bunnies on a fat cat video come to mind) it seems legitimate.
It is funny–I was thinking that the only time I’d ever heard something like this was just before our oldest cat barfed for the first time. My husband and I were in our bedroom reading, and all of a sudden we heard this very deep, throaty, “MW-AHHHH!” We turned to each other in terror and I said, “What the HELL is that?” It was the Empress Josephine, tossing her cookies. HA! We still imitate the sound at times.
LMB: The laugh track was placed by America’s Funniest Home Videos when the original video aired years ago.
The cat is angry about another cat in the room. Check out the longer video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=964uCtgsDoE . Laugh track is there too, no subtitles, but you see the cat’s anger is directed at a smaller cat.
[fixed URL... you gotta leave 1 whitespace at the end - Ed.]
oooooooh – tears streamng down my face. Nearly all my cats have made similar noises when we first introduce new kittehs to the household, but they’ve nver been quite so articulate.
I’m sure it’s not polite to laugh, but I can’t help it.
My sister (who has 2 dogs) swears that one afternoon when she got home from work late, and had her hands full so it took her longer than usual to unlock the door, she heard her mroe neurotic dog Buster wail plaintively “ooooh, I’m all alone!”
Yes, this is an angry cat — I saw a version of this with the other cat dancing around across the room, so you could see what Kitteh is mad at. But I’m certain that both cats survived and are probably buds by now. Yep, a friend says that was on AFV a few years ago and that’s where the weird laugh track comes from.
My cats are regularly peeved and yelling at an intruder outdoors cat who comes up to the window and taunts them, but they don’t make quite that kind of noise, usually. And that’s all part of a cat’s life. I bet they do that a lot if they’re outdoor cats, but you just don’t see ‘em … so I wouldn’t be too worried about that Kitteh. S/he’s just fine.
My old cat Albee made noises quite like that when I introduced him to my Henry cat. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard! He was really giving Henry the what for!
I normally try to ignore “nuffs” but .. what’s funny is the cat’s sound and reaction to new kitty.. not that fact that she’s unhappy. No one has deliberately antagonized the kitteh in order to cause funny sounds and therefore, fame and fortune on youtube. But capturing a normal kitteh sound that happens to imitate human words.. funny. Kitteh’s unhappy, yes, but not being tortured and she’ll get over it. It’s normal behavior. And fairly normal sounds. Lighten up y’all.
You know what, it’s Friday. Maybe it’s fine for folks to interpret this video clip however they can, and rather than rebut or complain, we can just indiscriminately chuck armloads of puddin cups at EVERYBODY. Seriously. It’s been a long time.
berthaslave, if you have a Theo as well as a Bertha, shouldn’t you be berthantheoslave? Or are you berthaslave n. theominder and just using berthaslave for short?
Mrs. P, I’ll be looking for ways to use “It was Empress Josephine, tossing her cookies,” in general conversation…I don’t know why, just that sentence Cracks. Me. Up.
Took the bonnet with your sonnet as always, pyrit!
OH, jaypo, what is pudding for if not to fling.
watergate sallit, anyone?
*splat*
(runs and hides behind sofa, cackling madly)
it’s been a reeeelly long week.
I can’t remember where I found this (it could have even been here – but I don’t think so), but I had to watch it abut 6 times in a row when I first found it!
And Peg, while I agree Pyrit’s poem ROCKS, it is not technically a sonnet. It has not the required 14 lines, abba abba cdecde rhyme scheme, nor the iambic pentameter.
Poetic form geeks of the world, unite!
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
and here comes the banana pudding!
Why I eyes ya!
*splat*
Does anyone here understand that this cat is very upset? Why does everyone think it’s cute when this animal is clearly agitated and distressed? Why is this funny to you? Do you laugh when someone you know is freaked out or scared?
No, Melissa. No one here can grasp that simple concept. It’s necessary for people such as yourself to come along and educate us on what an upset cat looks like. A cat, by the way, that was annoyed on film a dozen or more years ago. A cat that probably died of old age, well fed and cared for.
There is nothing callous or cruel about laughing at old footage of an animal that behaves unusual when upset. Stress is a natural and normal reaction to perceived threat or change. It isn’t unhealthy. It isn’t cruelty. It’s simply an instinctual reaction that is necessary for survival.
None of the designs really suited me… I love the cap sleeve t-shirt but I don’t want to wear something that says I love long johnson… geez… yuck. Anyway… I love that video. I’ve seen it many times and it cracks me up every time.
The first time I played it I was thinking…ok, it’s kinda cute, but Meg has posted OTHER videos from Japanese television that are much funnier than this, I don’t get it.
Oh, I see. That wasn’t me. That was some other Theresa. Let me make this perfectly clear.
I luvz me some puddin’ anyway. My little Dante cat looks like puddin;.
Farbeit for me to cheer on any cat-tormenting activity, but my Stinky cat makes savage, jungle-cat noises specifically to get the other cat in trouble.
Barbara (and others who are new to the sound of the veryvery upset kitteh),
These are indeed the sounds of a cat who is angry, usually due to feeling their claim to territory is being threatened/provoked. Cats are WAY more territorial then we realize. These noises often precede a battle, with actual fur-flying and bloodletting – a comparative rarity in the feline world.
I have a sort of funny story about these angry cat vocalizations – I was exposed to this as a young child, and when I was about 4 or 5 I used to sit around in my driveway imitating these sounds to everyone who would listen. I got some funny looks, not least among them from the neighborhood cats. Then again I also imitated the cooing of mourning doves, so maybe they were trying to figure out if I would make a good snack.
Second: I’ve been cracking up repeatedly for the past 10 minutes. LOL! Poor baby, and no I am not nuffing. I just wonder why my cats don’t vocalize like that. They do more of an unearthly, spine chilling wail in situations like this.
*catches chocolate pudding cup and wonders why nuffs can’t understand that this kitty is not being tortured, but is just royally pissed off at the kitten a few feet away*
ok, pyrit – yer on
(I just gotta drive home first and feed the cats and the husband who is recovering from surgery.
While I do laud your poem most highly, I stand by my original posishe that is is not a sonnet.
Tap tap tap tapioca!
Wheeeeeeeeee!
(runs from the room and heads for the car)
Hmmm. you have giveen me an eeeveeel idea. Anonymous puddinks lobbed from the stands just might make the day a whole lot more interestingk…brings a whole new meaning to “Ace”. ☺
JayP — because it’s not a human voice, that’s the actual CAT. Seriously.
The captions are made up, of course. Kitty’s actually saying GET THEE BACK DOWN INTO WHICHEVER FOUL PIT HATH SPEWED THEE FOURTH, WRETCHED INTERLOPER!! and nothing about pianos at all.
I saw this on AFV when it first aired, and it has been one of my favorite things ever since. Whenever I need a laugh, I google “Oh Don Piano”, and when I get annoyed with someone while driving, I growl “Why I eyes ya!”
This kitty is mad, but not in distress. My little Viv grumbles like this at Maggie (who is the alpha) all the time, although she isn’t nearly as eloquent. Looking at her, you’d think she was absolutely terrified, but five minutes later, they’re eating peacefully out of the same bowl.
haha I don’t watch AFV so I didn’t know about this. I think I too will adopt “why I eyes ya” to yell at other (“bad”) drivers on the road instead of the invectives that are my current vocabulary. And “all the live long day” also has many uses. Love it!!
Peg of Tilling: Bertha is “my” cat (whatever that means) while Theo (and the talkative but not as mean Coco) belong to my housemates. I try to make friends with Theo to no avail. I should get some video of Theo hissing at me and submit it to “angry overload.”
Carrie: I have heard of the improv everywhere people; I write more about historical performances these days, but my master’s thesis was about improvisation in film (both fictional and documentary).
Theo: There is no way you could be as nasty as our cat (whom we rescued at two weeks old, bottle fed and gave a perfect home to, by the way!)
Also: here is a list of shows that never use laugh tracks:
Anything actually broadcast live (Bill Maher, Saturday Night Live).
That’s it. Every other show I have ever known or worked on uses at least a supplemental laugh track to smooth out editing transitions, etc. The Daily Show/Colbert Report are probably about 98% “live laughter”; sitcoms “recorded in front of a live audience” are probably about 70% live laughter; my ear tells me that this video is entirely canned laughter.
BerthaSlave — heh, thanks… but realistically it very much depends on the situation. Because if you’re being an @$$#0!& (and, of course, you aren’t) then let it be known that I *will* take you to @$$#0!& school.
‘kay. Home now, cats are fed, husband recovering from surgery can wait a bit for his supper. Poetry takes precedence.
*ahem*
A Sonnet
“Oh long Jonh! Oh, long Johnson! Oh, my dog!
Oh, Don Piano!” Cat about to hurl?
Or troubled kitteh tortured by a churl
who films his feline’s fury to be gog-
gled at by strangers, then stuck on a blog
where lovers of the cute their jokes unfurl
at kitteh’s sad expense? “Oh, what a world
of cruelty! These people should be flogged!”
the nuffers cry, “Poor kitteh is upset!”
Well, yes, but please–they get that way you know,
when skinny behbeh kittehs dance their way
into their territory. They just get
perturbed and voice it so that they can show
It’s why I eyes ‘ya all the livelong day.
There’s an old “Fat Freddie’s Cat” cartoon where the cat sits by the door saying, “Me out? Me out? Prowl now?” The clueless Fat Freddie comes by and says, “Huh? You want me to open the door?” The cat stalks outside muttering, “I swear, they don’t even understand their own language.”
I once came into a house where I was catsitting and heard noises from upstairs as if he’d got his butt caught in a blender. I ran up and found him making noises like this at another cat sitting on HIS deck.
My cat, Glorfindel, makes those same noises whenever he sees a strange cat in the backyard. I swear, he actually said “F*** you” to one of the ferals once. It is very disconcerting to hear that at 4am from your window. That cat’s not in danger and I don’t think he’s about to puke either (no drooling or heaving). He’s just ticked off that there’s a new kitty in the house and his owners neglected to consult him on the matter.
Shelly, I looked it up on cafepress, too (figured there HAD to be something), but I’m with you on not liking the designs. “I <3 Long Johnson!" (?) "Long Johnson rocks!" (?) Did a twelve-year-old design them?
Yeah me too, I would totally buy a t-shirt but not one that says those dumb things – quotes from the cat would be enough, I think. Plus I don’t really like that electric purple outline at all. I’m really disappointed, I have a black cat t-shirt collection and that would have been perfect.
I agree that I am among the “trolls” who doesn’t like it when an animal looks scared or cold or otherwise unhappy….But this is different. It’s clearly a case where one cat is nervous about another. That happens, and I hope now that they’re great friends and will soon make another “gossiping cats” video.
(Still my favorite!!)
I haven’t read everything so I maybe repeating, but I have never found this cute. Maybe coldly funny…. That cat is afraid and pissed. Not the way that kitties (or any animal) should be treated for our entertainment.
I agree, Berthaslave, it certainly does sound like canned laughter, and it’s really not needed!
Might I add that Canadian comedies do not have a laughtrack? (And I’m not talking about those lovely *cough* 70′s classics *cough* like King of Kensington or Trouble With Tracy…I’m talking about Corner Gas etc.)
LMAO!! I love this video, every time I watch it I just crack up.
My Blue Abyssinian girl, Kira, talks like this when she is angry with her Ruddy sister, Chloe. I swear we have heard her say “I HATE YOU” on several occasions!
charliewabba! A clever sonnetist in our midst! Woot! Applause!
“gog- …..gled” LOL!
Yes, “Poetry takes precedence.” Absorightly.
My poetic license was revoked due to repeat offenses. You reminded me; I wrote a sonnet once, 1981, called Sonnet Boom. Todays’ little ditty was written in my head in about 20 min., while at work.
Get well soon wishes to your hubby! Um, feeding cats and writing a sonnet before feeding hubby??? OK!
A lot of people tell me their cat/dog can say ‘mom.’ I wondered about that for a bit, and then thought that it was because they always referred to themselves as ‘mom’ to the animal, and they were using it as a name – something they could manage. It was confirmed when my sister refused to be a ‘cat mom’, and her cats started making a noise that sounded like her name (Erin). Freaked us both out, really. I think animals do try to imitate us – it’s all they hear!
I still like this cat coming to say ‘hello’ better. Although that’s probably because I’ve seen Don Piano up there a million times. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV71mpbvl-g
Oh yes those are definitely real kitty noises. Not all cats are capable of making that pitch, though. My kitty (RIP) did that occasionally, and that was when you knew to get the hell away from him because he was about to go haywire and rip someone’s face off.
As for laughing at the cat’s expense…I find the non-subtitled version kind of disturbing…but the subtitles just kill me, especially the “Long johnson” part…
Damn the man. Does anyone have any idea why every embedded youtube video i try to watch comes up as “video removed”? They can’t possibly all be removed….
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as much as the first time I saw this clip on AFV! Funniest ever. I remember my girlfriend started imitating the cat during a boring university lecture the day after, making me all giggly… pure evil.
I agree. My cat sounds like this right before she pukes up a hairball…and the remainder of her din-din. If she’s on the couch, it’s a clear sign to put her on the kitchen floor where it’s easier to clean up. It happens every time. So, not really funny.
OMG! I am laffing so hard I can hardly breeeethe! Poor widdle kitteh is sooo upset that she tries to make pipple noises, hoping, perhaps, that the pipple will feel compassion & take away the source of her stress. Ha! Fat chance, kitteh. It’s all about how WE feel, not you. And when we, the simpering cretins at CO (most of us, that is) are laffing at kitteh’s funny noises, it feels GOOD! For even better yocks, click on the image of the orange tabby in the cage, with her ears flattened. She’s in absolute terror–what a riot! I reckon Ted Nugent himself could hardly find a better source of amusement.
Thank you, SBA, Melissa, and Berhaslave for having the heart to see how disgusting this kind of thing can be.
“Why I eyes ya” is a common saying in my household as well, ever since I stumbled on this video about a year or so ago.
My three cats make strange, sometimes angry or plaintive, noises (some of them amusingly human-like) at me, my boyfriend, the cat who lives next door, and one another all the time, and they continue to be happy and healthy members of the family. This kitty just happened to be caught on film for one of those moments. Long live Don Piano.
Monty, I am proud to spoil any party where people are laughing at distressed animals. Can you honestly say you felt no sympathy for this cat? Sorry if I come off sounding superior, but this is such a great site that it makes me angry when they show animals having a bad time & dozens of people find it adorable.
There is so much suffering in the world that I just wanna see cute little animals in warm & fuzzy situations. This makes me a nuffer? A troll? Sheesh.
I found this really really funny, and I think people just need to lighten up really, this is an old vid and I’m sure the cat is/was fine My mom and dad have old vids of us when we were little of us falling down a icey hill, at the time I cried, but now seeing it and knowing I was FINE is SOOOO FUNNY I pee my pant just thinking about it! I’m sure if there was any real danger or pain the vid would not be such a hit 10/20 years later and I’m also sure the owners would have known to put the camera down and help the kitty! LIGHTEN UP! ENJOY LIFE and LEARN TO LAUGH AT OLD OLD VIDEOS!
P.S. Just this past evening I have heard some kitties outside yowling like this, they are in heat and gettin’ ready to get it on! Yeah for them! Plus I had a kitten once that when I was worked up about stuff he would arch his back point his ears and “hop” around the house He never was hurt just “felt” the tension in the air!
Amanda, I salute you for creating a post that is a masterpiece of irony!
I’ll wager a lot of pipple are going to be fooled into thinking you’re serious. Well done! Hey, it was so amusing that I peed my “pant” too. Now excuse me while I go out back & chuckle at the absurd noises some kittehs are making as they prepare for coitus & the creation of an oh-so-cute litter of feral kittehs that will struggle & suffer & perish.
Hooo-wee, some peeps sure could make a LOT of money by selling their never-used, “still-in-the-box-with-tags”, sense of humor. And there’s big dollars in selling their encyclopedia set, since they already know it all.
Yeah Jack! “pipple” are going to laugh I think you and I are on the same page, because it takes one to know one! So… Plus what can I do about other peoples cats that they don’t spay? That is why I don’t own any animals, they are alot of work and take care that I don’t have time to give them. I was not laughing about the way things “are going to turn out” I couldn’t do a single thing about what the cats were doing in the middle of the night. And I wasn’t laughing a it, i was saying it was a “normal” cat thing/sound.
And I was being serious about my parents having home videos of us at a little age, doing stupid stuff, and I, as of all of my family, laugh at these years later. As far as spelling errors, I think you should stop calling the kettle black.
Mmmmm. Pudding! How nice to nom while I giggle at this video some more! While I sometimes nuff when the human has *put* the kitty into a dangerous sitch for our amusement, this is just 100% pure, accept no substitutes, Kitty Attitude. Yay!
(Will wait until kitty ‘tude goes away before snorgling beleh!)
Know what else cracks me up? The people who think that laughing at this is somehow contributing to animal abuse. Gimme a break folks. Life is tough sometimes. We all have to do things we don’t enjoy. I spoil my dog like there’s no tomorrow, but I also don’t feel sorry for her when she occasionally has an unpleasant experience (OMG, being left home alone for an hour is TORTURE). Lighten up and get a life.
I think it’s really really funny! And I don’t think the cat is being harmed in any way, if it was the owner would be doing something to help it. People need to lighten up.
[Amanda, it *is* funny, no worries. Best to ignore the troublemaker(s) & let me worry about them... - Ed.]
angry cats crack me up! their little instincts kick in and they act like big scary lions. it’s obvious this kitty is mad about the “intruder” and not in any dire distress. lol, i say, lol!
i wish i’d seen this without the subtitles the first time, because it would be interesting to see what words my ear picked up without any prompting.
This majorly-pissed kitteh reminds me of my dear departed Heather, who lived out her 19 years with me. She was a small, delicately-boned kitty with fine, long gray hair, and the dantiest of soft and squeaky mews. Except for one night when I was brought bolt-upright in bed by a horrific screech, followed by a string of loud kitty expletives similar to this video (which was clear to me could be translated about the Theo has interpreted this cat’s communication). It seems an intruder cat was on the other side of the sliding glass door sitting on “her” deck. I had no idea my sweet little Heather had it in her. It was like hearing my grandmother cuss like a sailor.
Khatt, did nobody answer your question about ’nuffs? It’s when people come on here and say something is “not cute enough (“enuff”) because the poor animal is suffering, or about to suffer, or may suffer in the future, or something like that. Like the people who can’t enjoy this video because the cat is having a bad day and that’s too disturbing to relax and laugh at the things he says when he’s pissed.
cath wrote: “…I had fallen asleep on the back porch, and a neighbourhood cat that knew me came and curled up on my chest. Snickle saw us from inside the screen door, and I awoke to that terrible, surreal noise. I’m sure he was calling me a scarlet woman!”
Cath – mwahahahahahaa! that cracked me up completely! just perfect! xD
opposable kitty thumbs? language? hide the can openers…that’s all they need now and it’s all over for us. dead in our sleep, we’ll be. why i eyes ya… wait. they can’t reach the ATM machines. whew. safe for another year.
My cat says MARYANNE very loud and clear before he barfs. So it sounds like “Maaareeeanne ::hulh::” I live alone, and the first time he did it I about thought my house was haunted!
My landlady had tons of stray cats hanging around her backyard, and I once heard a tom howling like that. In the dark he sounded like an old man in pain; it freaked me out!
Desdemona, I have an extremely sweet, 17-year-old cat, who is majorly territorial. He puffs up and mskes ungodly noises at the outside cats who come to the porch. They don’t hurt him, or even threaten him– they can’t, anyway. But he still sounds like he needs both an exorcist and an enema.
Did anyone else see the video that was a link after the video was finished, at the bottom of the box, called Devil Cat or something? My god, that’s a scary cat. :-O
Ha ha!
Does anyone else remember seeing another video on AFV years ago, with a cat about to be given a bath, screaming: No….Nooo…NOOO!!
Of course it wasn’t actually screaming, but his meows sure sounded like that!
Kaya, I just found it on Youtube. I feel bad just watching it. Poor kitteh, though it is pretty amazing how much it sounds like he’s actually screaming “no”.
Not going to post the URL because I’m too afraid the nuffers will get me in my sleep.
My room-mate’s cat Boudicea can say her owner’s name “Ron”. She also says “No” and, when asking for her food, “Now.”
But this week she really surprised me. She was doing her “now, now, now” and I told her “You get fed at noon, it’s only 10:30.” I swear she made a sound that was exactly like “I know,” and then went right back to complaining.
These sounds are very real, and kitty is not angry – if anything, he’s in pain! He is getting ready to barf up a HUGE hairball, as anyone with a long-haired kitty can tell you…!!!
I used to have a collie who talked in human. She used to say “hello” every morning when we came down. One New Year’s Day I came down and told her “Hey Kona it’s 1999!” and I swear she said “nine?” right back.
I just have to say how glad I am to have seen this on Friday. I’ve been sick all weekend (nothing serious, just sniffles and coughs and self-pity), and now, whenever I feel really inconsolably sorry for myself, I let out a plaintive “Oh, Don Piaaaaaaaano.” Somehow it makes me feel better, and it’s less annoying for my partner than ordinary whimpering. Thanks, CO!
Tigress, my kitty does it too. “Now” “mom” “aunt” and since she can’t manage “uncle” she got a fair approximation of “matt”.
And Deb, it may be that he was sick. But I know for a FACT, from my OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE that sickness is NOT the only reason they make these sounds. When I moved in with my boyfriend and my kitty met his husky for the first time, she made noises like that. Considering there is another kitty just off-screen, i’d say that illness/pain is NOT the reason. Chill out. Kitty is just laying down the LAW.
If you guys want a Long Johnson T-shirt there’s a whole range of merchandise at http://www.ohlongjohnson.com (there’s even a dog jacket with Oh My Dog on it!)
This is the epitome of talking pet video. I have watched it various times for at least two years and it never fails to crack me up. My spouse and I borrow this cat’s lines ALL the time. I say “Oh my dog” at work at times when a normal person would say “Oh my god” – very handy since I work in a public school. But the line that always puts me over the edge is “Oh Don Piano.” Such operatic DRAMA! Long live angry kitteh!
One of my favorites. We actually go around our house moaning “OH, LONG JOHN. WHY I EYES YA.”
Bwah! I can’t stop laughing. He should have said “why I oughta” and shaken his little fist.
angry cat is ANGRY.
First extra paw pad/opposable thumbs, now they’re mastering our inferior language. The Kitty Uprising is at last upon us!!
Have you seen the slightly longer version? The camera pulls out to reveal another kitteh a few feet away, meowing in an unsure (but much less intelligible) manner …
Oh, um, like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=964uCtgsDoE
I’m probably revealing vast ignorance here, but is this cat actually MAKING these noises>? This isn’t a human voice imposed on the image? ‘Cause this is kinda scary . . . .
That video cracks me up Every. Single. Time. Ha!
I was wondering that too, Mrs. P. I think it’s real? The longer video LimeyG posted shows another cat, so unless they perfectly placed that meow audio, it’s hard to say whether it’s fake. The audio quality was great intentionally, to get the warbling kitty so it isn’t surprising that the meow is very loud as well.
Oh no, no, no, no, no. I am not watching this! I know this video! It will KEEL me one day. But not today! I need my brain a little longer and I like to breathe. Today is the day you almost got pyrit!~ I am going away now! Bye bye!
Really!
Really!!!
It’s funny, whether or not it’s real. I’m not sure I want to know. Sort of like the tooth fairy. I’ll believe as long as it brings the funny.
Mrs.P/Coffeecup, I’m pretty sure it is real. I have a cat that makes similar sounds – which are usually followed by him throwing up
oh, it’s real. Those are angry kitteh noises. When I worked at a vet hospital, those are the noises that made us get out the elbow length thick suede gloves
Fairly sure it’s real. If I remember right, that clip won America’s Funniest Home Videos a few years ago.
When my cat was in heat, I put her in a dark room alone, hoping it would help keep her calm. I swear she said “Let me out of here right now!”
So I let her out.
… and also “Snorky. Talk. Man!”
Peeps, it’s real. My kitty used to “talk” like this occasionally in the middle of the night. (I’d awaken to little wet piles of “urp”.)
Yep, it was on AFV quite a few years ago, and I think the dude brought the kitty on the show when he won. A classic.
Funny, I know a woman irl who sounds like that! (She’s French-Canadian, with a speech impediment… )
I once googled “Oh Don Piano” and found a website selling T-shirts with that phrase printed on them!
[http://www.threadless.com/submission/111183/Oh_Don_Piano_2 - Ed.]
This video is where I got the screen name I use occasionally on other forums – OhDonPiano. LOL!
Cracks me up every time.
Too funny, tears I’m crying,
Too much, now I’m dying,
When I’m ded, afterward,
In my wallet, my organ donor card,
(You’ll also find my poetic license,
Please return it to the Bard)
“To Oh Long Johnson cat on the screen,
I donate my side-splitted spleen.
To Why I Eyes Ya mad feline,
I donate what’s left of my mind.
And to the “yummies” pug named Charmaine,
I donate my melted brain.”
OMG, my stomach hutts from laughing! Too funny!
Too funny!
Yeah, my cats make noises and salivate like that when they’re about to leave me a present on the carpet.
so absolutely adorables but i hope kitteh ain’t too stressed out!!
Eww! Creepy! I’d die if my cat starting making noises like that. (Especially since I’m pretty sure he’d swear in front of the kids and start complaining about everything.)
Spooky-cute; if my cat talked to me like that, I’d probably call an exorcist.
THE OWLS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM.
One of the bestest videos EVER.
I’ve never seen that before! I feel sorry for the cat, though, because you know it must be REAL unhappy to make those sounds, but wow is that funny! ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY! HA!
I think what disturbs me about this is the horrible laugh track. It calls into question the whole nature of sound and has always sort of backed me into the corner of believing that this isn’t “real.” (Don’t laugh, but I actually write about and study this sort of thing for a living — the relationship between live events and mediation).
So I can’t see it as cute, or even funny, just forced. But I grant that is probably just my sensibility, I’m not trying to persuade anyone else. It SHOULD be funny. But I’m not laughing.
Also, we have a cat that looks like this cat — her name is Theo (really) and she’s one of the meanest, hissin-ist, scratchin-ist cats I’ve ever known.
[Figures... - Ed.]
These are the noises my kitty makes just before she barfs up her boots, so I don’t find this cute.
hey bertha: i don’t know for sure, but i think the laugh track might come directly from the live audience at america’s best home video. in which case it’s not a “laugh track” at all!
Leslie Evans – LOL!
Ashagato — nah, that’s a canned laugh track, all right. I think it was the Animal Planet version of America’s Funniest Videos to start with (that is, not AFV itself) before somebody “captioned” it. At least for me, though, it doesn’t detract much from the You’re-So-Cute-When-You’re-Angry kitty and the surreal subtitles.
Maybe I’m too sensitive: am I the only one who hates it when we laugh about kitties who are obviously freaked out and terrified? I hate these posts.
LOL Berthaslave..
sounds lilke your big cat matche our Teho big Cat in temprement
http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/bigcat.htm
What the hell?! I should have known when my kitty started saying “I love you” that the cats would soon master our language. It’s the catpocalypse!
SBA — Don Piano kitty’s just mad about the new kitten, who’s out-of-frame for most of this clip. (At our house, Spot still isn’t too happy about Rikki being around, but they’ve come to terms.)
My cat does that on occasion when she sees the neighbor kitty at the window. Neighbor kitty stands up, front paws on the window in the door. My poor kitty loses it.
I love watching AFV again not that they have an actually FUNNY host. They still pick the worst winners tho. (A baby, a animal and a random) I would hate to go up against a “cute” baby video. The “cute” baby videos are rarely as funny as the pet ones!
Now you have to post the talking dogs video! (no, not yummies)
Wow, I’m surprised at seeing this here now. I’m sure I saw this video years ago.
Lol, very funny vid!
Sorry to be the party pooper, but that cat isn’t happy. What’s done is done, but I don’t know how you guys can laugh at it or find it cute.
My cat looks very very similar to that, and the eyes that cat has in that video are the same eyes my cat has when she’s scared to hell as a result of fireworks….not good…
The feral cats I feed outside sometimes sound like this at night when a can of feline whoop ass is about to be opened! Each time I watched this, it just got funnier and funnier! My favorite part is the little lilt in his voice as he says “Oh, Don PiANNNooo!”
Berthaslave, have you ever heard of this group of people?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKEeHREK2nQ I’m sure you probably have – but I think this is something like what you’re meaning about live/mediation, right?
Jess L — see above. Cat’s not scared, s/he’s just ticked about a *new* cat being around. No fireworks, just a kitten.
Angry kitty cat! And yes – pissed off kitty’s really do sound like that – and like Maggie said – get out those thick leather gloves!
I had a cat that talked to himself just like that – especially when any neighbor kitty’s came by to visit. We have one now that’s conversational – just not so intelligible. He scares the dog, though. Her ridge goes up and she runs to mama or papa for salvation.
Gotta love them cats!
So my cat reciting Shakespeares sonnetts is unusual.
I have not clicked this video. I will lose it if I do. I have seen it many times before only there was no canned laughter, only subtitles. Good, good stuff, man. I can’t even think about it.
We saw this on AFV, too. It was quite some time ago, I think. My daughter and I still say “Oh Don Piano!” to each other, much to the confusion of others in our family.
Love the vid., hate the stoopid laff trak.
Wow, I have a Siamese cross that makes similar noises when she sees birds out the window, except she first makes a chirring noise and then goes into the growly dialogue. She’s not stressed really, she just wants to get at the birds.
Somewhat, Hon Glad. Yes.
btw – I hate that I laugh at this – because it’s obvious that the cat is very, very unhappy. That is a scared look on that cats face.
If you want funny subtitles – check this (non-animal) out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH8gtrD4_C4
yummieyummieyummie!
C’mon, people, this is what a sick cat does before it throws up. It’s not funny or cute. The poor cat is obviously distressed and the owners are too dumb to see it. It’s not “talking”. And the laugh track makes it even tackier.
http://www.squidgrid.com/cute/Glossary.htm#Nuff
I’m glad some other cats chimed in with why the cat was going on about Don Piano. Its a relief to know that it was just the usual feline politics and not the cat being in pain. And yea, those are REAL cat sounds. I have had my cats posturing at neighborhood cats and making those kinds of sounds.
To the person that posted the Threadless link, Threadless isn’t selling that shirt, the design was just submitted for voting.
They should sell it though.
That’s the sound of a jealous/territorial cat. Our old Snicklefritz, who looked just like that cat, made that exact noise only once in his 20 years. I had fallen asleep on the back porch, and a neighbourhood cat that knew me came and curled up on my chest. Snickle saw us from inside the screen door, and I awoke to that terrible, surreal noise. I’m sure he was calling me a scarlet woman! It took forever to make peace with him.
I guess I’m nuffing here cause look at his eyes.
I’m still kind of surprised (I guess I shouldn’t be though) when a lot of people feel guilty about laughing at this video, or say it isn’t cute. The facts behind the video confirm that there was another cat in the room and the Oh Don Piano cat just really didn’t like the intruder. The cat’s not in danger, it’s not about to hold an embassy hostage, it’s just stressed because of another cat, NOT because of the human with a camera.
Cats will either learn to get along, or avoid each other, but it wasn’t the human’s fault the cat was angry. Video, however, is all the human’s fault, and I say bravo. It’s hilarious.
I do understand why some of you feel this way though, cause we don’t like to see the bad things that happen to animals, and in some cases (baby bunnies on a fat cat video come to mind) it seems legitimate.
It is funny–I was thinking that the only time I’d ever heard something like this was just before our oldest cat barfed for the first time. My husband and I were in our bedroom reading, and all of a sudden we heard this very deep, throaty, “MW-AHHHH!” We turned to each other in terror and I said, “What the HELL is that?” It was the Empress Josephine, tossing her cookies. HA! We still imitate the sound at times.
Okay, last time.
LMB: The laugh track was placed by America’s Funniest Home Videos when the original video aired years ago.
The cat is angry about another cat in the room. Check out the longer video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=964uCtgsDoE . Laugh track is there too, no subtitles, but you see the cat’s anger is directed at a smaller cat.
[fixed URL... you gotta leave 1 whitespace at the end - Ed.]
Cath–for some reason your comment cracked me up. Poor jealous kitty!
oooooooh – tears streamng down my face. Nearly all my cats have made similar noises when we first introduce new kittehs to the household, but they’ve nver been quite so articulate.
I’m sure it’s not polite to laugh, but I can’t help it.
My sister (who has 2 dogs) swears that one afternoon when she got home from work late, and had her hands full so it took her longer than usual to unlock the door, she heard her mroe neurotic dog Buster wail plaintively “ooooh, I’m all alone!”
“Why I eyes ya?” has become a regular part of my vocabulary.
I know this guy who drew this awesome cartoon of him.
http://www.evilspacerobot.com/1001101/sketchblog/20070205.gif
Laff? I thot I’d die!
Yes, this is an angry cat — I saw a version of this with the other cat dancing around across the room, so you could see what Kitteh is mad at. But I’m certain that both cats survived and are probably buds by now. Yep, a friend says that was on AFV a few years ago and that’s where the weird laugh track comes from.
My cats are regularly peeved and yelling at an intruder outdoors cat who comes up to the window and taunts them, but they don’t make quite that kind of noise, usually. And that’s all part of a cat’s life. I bet they do that a lot if they’re outdoor cats, but you just don’t see ‘em … so I wouldn’t be too worried about that Kitteh. S/he’s just fine.
Oh, also: I knew a dog once who very clearly said, when asked, “noooo! noooo! idon’twannabath! noooo! noooo!”
Okay, I nearly busted a gut from laughing so hard at the video but now after reading the comments, my gut has busted. You people are just too funny.
waitaminit, how did the human hold the video cam so still? Wow.
My old cat Albee made noises quite like that when I introduced him to my Henry cat. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard! He was really giving Henry the what for!
Oh, and as an added note, Albee and Henry became friends, and Henry guarded Albee’s little body when he passed away. It was very sweet.
Yeah this cat is so going to puke in like 5 seconds. Funny though.
Miss Megumi has said the expected “Mom” “Mommy” & “mama” but also,
“GET UP” and “I love you” and “come here.”
it can be a little spooky.
(“Come here” was to call me into my daughter’s room…my human child was ill!)
I normally try to ignore “nuffs” but .. what’s funny is the cat’s sound and reaction to new kitty.. not that fact that she’s unhappy. No one has deliberately antagonized the kitteh in order to cause funny sounds and therefore, fame and fortune on youtube. But capturing a normal kitteh sound that happens to imitate human words.. funny. Kitteh’s unhappy, yes, but not being tortured and she’ll get over it. It’s normal behavior. And fairly normal sounds. Lighten up y’all.
You know what, it’s Friday. Maybe it’s fine for folks to interpret this video clip however they can, and rather than rebut or complain, we can just indiscriminately chuck armloads of puddin cups at EVERYBODY. Seriously. It’s been a long time.
HAY THERESA! *** INCOMING!! ***
[hyup]
berthaslave, if you have a Theo as well as a Bertha, shouldn’t you be berthantheoslave? Or are you berthaslave n. theominder and just using berthaslave for short?
Mrs. P, I’ll be looking for ways to use “It was Empress Josephine, tossing her cookies,” in general conversation…I don’t know why, just that sentence Cracks. Me. Up.
Took the bonnet with your sonnet as always, pyrit!
R.O.T.F.L.M.A.O.!!! Why do I never get tired of this vdo!?! Gets me every time.
teho: not to waste good puddin, k?
OH, jaypo, what is pudding for if not to fling.
watergate sallit, anyone?
*splat*
(runs and hides behind sofa, cackling madly)
it’s been a reeeelly long week.
Okay, I can’t believe nobody has posted this, it’s hysterical:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHY0YsY9yHo
I can’t remember where I found this (it could have even been here – but I don’t think so), but I had to watch it abut 6 times in a row when I first found it!
And Peg, while I agree Pyrit’s poem ROCKS, it is not technically a sonnet. It has not the required 14 lines, abba abba cdecde rhyme scheme, nor the iambic pentameter.
Poetic form geeks of the world, unite!
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
and here comes the banana pudding!
Why I eyes ya!
*splat*
Aww – there is one stressed out / hacked off kitteh! Poor kitteh! I would snorgle, but I think it would take my eye out!
Does anyone here understand that this cat is very upset? Why does everyone think it’s cute when this animal is clearly agitated and distressed? Why is this funny to you? Do you laugh when someone you know is freaked out or scared?
I bow to your poetry-fu, charliewabba, but “Took the gnome with your poem” just isn’t the same, though equally lauditory.
I love Don Piano.
Drove it home with your poem?
We like to pick up our cat Noodle and cuddle her vigorously until she makes bagpipe noises.
(then we kiss her and put her down gently)
No, Melissa. No one here can grasp that simple concept. It’s necessary for people such as yourself to come along and educate us on what an upset cat looks like. A cat, by the way, that was annoyed on film a dozen or more years ago. A cat that probably died of old age, well fed and cared for.
There is nothing callous or cruel about laughing at old footage of an animal that behaves unusual when upset. Stress is a natural and normal reaction to perceived threat or change. It isn’t unhealthy. It isn’t cruelty. It’s simply an instinctual reaction that is necessary for survival.
Seriously. Lighten up. That cat is (was) fine.
I’m with ya, Teho! I think we need TJ’s puddingkwürferschnorglekanonen.
You can get your Oh Don Piano gear here:
http://www.cafepress.com/ohlongjohnson
None of the designs really suited me… I love the cap sleeve t-shirt but I don’t want to wear something that says I love long johnson… geez… yuck. Anyway… I love that video. I’ve seen it many times and it cracks me up every time.
Vu bist der puddingkwürferschnorglekanonen?
Wait.
THAT’S REAL??!?!?!?!?
The first time I played it I was thinking…ok, it’s kinda cute, but Meg has posted OTHER videos from Japanese television that are much funnier than this, I don’t get it.
THAT’S REALLY THE CAT?!?!!??!?!?!!?!!?!?!?!!
OMG.
*replays*
What I do?!?!
Oh, I see. That wasn’t me. That was some other Theresa. Let me make this perfectly clear.
I luvz me some puddin’ anyway. My little Dante cat looks like puddin;.
Farbeit for me to cheer on any cat-tormenting activity, but my Stinky cat makes savage, jungle-cat noises specifically to get the other cat in trouble.
Charliewabba, I think that should be dative, not nominative.
PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…
…DING!
[shmek]
[shlop]
[spuck]
er um the German, you mean?
Yes, probably.
I was just guessing, honestly.
My understanding of German doesn’t go much beyond “I am a jelly donut.”
[Loading up the Pudding Panzer...'cause it's Tank You brand pudding...]
Barbara (and others who are new to the sound of the veryvery upset kitteh),
These are indeed the sounds of a cat who is angry, usually due to feeling their claim to territory is being threatened/provoked. Cats are WAY more territorial then we realize. These noises often precede a battle, with actual fur-flying and bloodletting – a comparative rarity in the feline world.
I have a sort of funny story about these angry cat vocalizations – I was exposed to this as a young child, and when I was about 4 or 5 I used to sit around in my driveway imitating these sounds to everyone who would listen. I got some funny looks, not least among them from the neighborhood cats. Then again I also imitated the cooing of mourning doves, so maybe they were trying to figure out if I would make a good snack.
Hey Don Piano! I gots yer vanilla puddin’ right here!
Splat!
W00t! It’s Friday! Sure, I gotta spend my entire weekend at my daughter’s volleyball tournanment, but still… It’s Friday!
Bring on the pudding…
bites tongue. squints. aims a abba abba lob o’ puddin’. right. at. charliewabba’s haid.
Like it? It’s Cuba Gooding flavor. “Show me teh sonnet!”
First: The cat is beautiful.
Second: I’ve been cracking up repeatedly for the past 10 minutes. LOL! Poor baby, and no I am not nuffing. I just wonder why my cats don’t vocalize like that. They do more of an unearthly, spine chilling wail in situations like this.
A classic.
*catches chocolate pudding cup and wonders why nuffs can’t understand that this kitty is not being tortured, but is just royally pissed off at the kitten a few feet away*
Mmmm…yummieyummieyummie…puuuuddddiiinngggg…
@Momof2kitties, is it one of those notorious suburban Pudding-Volleyball games? Like in The Ice Storm”?
PS Commendatore Cat sings
“O Don Piaaaaaaano!
A cenar teco m’invitasti
E son venuto!”
ok, pyrit – yer on
(I just gotta drive home first and feed the cats and the husband who is recovering from surgery.
While I do laud your poem most highly, I stand by my original posishe that is is not a sonnet.
Tap tap tap tapioca!
Wheeeeeeeeee!
(runs from the room and heads for the car)
@Theo clearly consults the Don Martin Manual of Viscous Sound Effects. Shtoink!
you gotta gotta gotta see these too!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3U0udLH974
How is it that I’ve never seen this video before? That is freakishly awesome!
@ Theresa-
Hmmm. you have giveen me an eeeveeel idea. Anonymous puddinks lobbed from the stands just might make the day a whole lot more interestingk…brings a whole new meaning to “Ace”. ☺
‘Scuse me whilst I run to Meijer’s for pudding.
And the talking kittehs are back! It’s definitely Friday now!
Heeeer come the Black Watch with the shortbread and BUTTERSCOTCH!!!! You canna take our FREEEEEEDOMMMMMMM!!
[*SPICKET*]
I’m sorry, but I just don’t “get” it. It sounds like a human voice dubbed into this shot, and the subtitles don’t make sense to me.
I’ve never really liked the America’s funniest videos, so maybe it’s just me. (I’m not being nuffy, I just wish I got the joke too…..)
Animals just being animals are funny, without trying to be.
That’s what makes them endearing!
There is a saying: “your cute when your angry”
Well said Michelle.
On the topic of ‘it has been a while’… how long has it been since we had pistachio pudding here?
JayP — because it’s not a human voice, that’s the actual CAT. Seriously.
The captions are made up, of course. Kitty’s actually saying GET THEE BACK DOWN INTO WHICHEVER FOUL PIT HATH SPEWED THEE FOURTH, WRETCHED INTERLOPER!! and nothing about pianos at all.
Awww, crap.
Theo!
Now I gotta clean the coffee out of my keyboard. Again.
Here comes a cup o’ puddink for you…duck!
I’m not a duck!
Quack!
I saw this on AFV when it first aired, and it has been one of my favorite things ever since. Whenever I need a laugh, I google “Oh Don Piano”, and when I get annoyed with someone while driving, I growl “Why I eyes ya!”
This kitty is mad, but not in distress. My little Viv grumbles like this at Maggie (who is the alpha) all the time, although she isn’t nearly as eloquent. Looking at her, you’d think she was absolutely terrified, but five minutes later, they’re eating peacefully out of the same bowl.
haha I don’t watch AFV so I didn’t know about this. I think I too will adopt “why I eyes ya” to yell at other (“bad”) drivers on the road instead of the invectives that are my current vocabulary. And “all the live long day” also has many uses. Love it!!
But the “Long Johnson” part, that somehow is not quite so versatile. :O
Theresa, it might make more sense in the context of my recent “WRETCHED INTERLOPER” comment up there…
http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/02/a-wise-kitteh-o.html#comment-105264098
Or, not. Ehh.
It’s Friday, who cares, there’s pudding.
Peg of Tilling: Bertha is “my” cat (whatever that means) while Theo (and the talkative but not as mean Coco) belong to my housemates. I try to make friends with Theo to no avail. I should get some video of Theo hissing at me and submit it to “angry overload.”
Carrie: I have heard of the improv everywhere people; I write more about historical performances these days, but my master’s thesis was about improvisation in film (both fictional and documentary).
Theo: There is no way you could be as nasty as our cat (whom we rescued at two weeks old, bottle fed and gave a perfect home to, by the way!)
Also: here is a list of shows that never use laugh tracks:
Anything actually broadcast live (Bill Maher, Saturday Night Live).
That’s it. Every other show I have ever known or worked on uses at least a supplemental laugh track to smooth out editing transitions, etc. The Daily Show/Colbert Report are probably about 98% “live laughter”; sitcoms “recorded in front of a live audience” are probably about 70% live laughter; my ear tells me that this video is entirely canned laughter.
Oh that is one SKEERED kitty. I’ve only heard them make that noise when they are facing a mortal enemy! Poor little guy.
BerthaSlave — heh, thanks… but realistically it very much depends on the situation. Because if you’re being an @$$#0!& (and, of course, you aren’t) then let it be known that I *will* take you to @$$#0!& school.
(Borrowing TJ’s puddingkwürferschnorglekanonen. Setting for widest possible splatter pattern. Aiming heavy duty payload at Nufftown. LAUNCH!)
‘kay. Home now, cats are fed, husband recovering from surgery can wait a bit for his supper. Poetry takes precedence.
*ahem*
A Sonnet
“Oh long Jonh! Oh, long Johnson! Oh, my dog!
Oh, Don Piano!” Cat about to hurl?
Or troubled kitteh tortured by a churl
who films his feline’s fury to be gog-
gled at by strangers, then stuck on a blog
where lovers of the cute their jokes unfurl
at kitteh’s sad expense? “Oh, what a world
of cruelty! These people should be flogged!”
the nuffers cry, “Poor kitteh is upset!”
Well, yes, but please–they get that way you know,
when skinny behbeh kittehs dance their way
into their territory. They just get
perturbed and voice it so that they can show
It’s why I eyes ‘ya all the livelong day.
@Theo, I can tell you a wretched little interloper kitteh with a long johnshon would probably be extra distressing to my cat.
@Charliewabba, you da man!
There’s an old “Fat Freddie’s Cat” cartoon where the cat sits by the door saying, “Me out? Me out? Prowl now?” The clueless Fat Freddie comes by and says, “Huh? You want me to open the door?” The cat stalks outside muttering, “I swear, they don’t even understand their own language.”
I once came into a house where I was catsitting and heard noises from upstairs as if he’d got his butt caught in a blender. I ran up and found him making noises like this at another cat sitting on HIS deck.
Charlie — [applause] [with paws]
Theresa — [SNORK!] …well, close enough.
Aw, puts my calico kitty who says “mom”, “wow” and “me” to shame. Time to go home and teach her some new words!
OMG HAHA, is that cat on crack? Well, it cracks me up at least
and applause (with paws) to Pyrit, who started the whole thing.
Is your poetic license in your wallet?
I keep mine framed over my desk.
My cat, Glorfindel, makes those same noises whenever he sees a strange cat in the backyard. I swear, he actually said “F*** you” to one of the ferals once. It is very disconcerting to hear that at 4am from your window.
That cat’s not in danger and I don’t think he’s about to puke either (no drooling or heaving). He’s just ticked off that there’s a new kitty in the house and his owners neglected to consult him on the matter. 
Shelly, I looked it up on cafepress, too (figured there HAD to be something), but I’m with you on not liking the designs. “I <3 Long Johnson!" (?) "Long Johnson rocks!" (?) Did a twelve-year-old design them?
Oh, well.
Yeah me too, I would totally buy a t-shirt but not one that says those dumb things – quotes from the cat would be enough, I think. Plus I don’t really like that electric purple outline at all. I’m really disappointed, I have a black cat t-shirt collection and that would have been perfect.
weird. very weird…all the live long day.
oooooh…i don’t think i like this….kind of creepy…not so cute…
I agree that I am among the “trolls” who doesn’t like it when an animal looks scared or cold or otherwise unhappy….But this is different. It’s clearly a case where one cat is nervous about another. That happens, and I hope now that they’re great friends and will soon make another “gossiping cats” video.
(Still my favorite!!)
Charliewabba, that is
(p)awesome and deserves much ap(l)aws .. many times the comments are as good or better than the posts!
well maybe not *better* since the post is the inspiration. Sorry I don’t know what I was thinking!
I haven’t read everything so I maybe repeating, but I have never found this cute. Maybe coldly funny…. That cat is afraid and pissed. Not the way that kitties (or any animal) should be treated for our entertainment.
Just my two cents…
I agree, Berthaslave, it certainly does sound like canned laughter, and it’s really not needed!
Might I add that Canadian comedies do not have a laughtrack? (And I’m not talking about those lovely *cough* 70′s classics *cough* like King of Kensington or Trouble With Tracy…I’m talking about Corner Gas etc.)
Can I have some more pudding?
Elizabeth:
Yes kitty is pissed. No kitty is not afraid.
I hope Theo won’t mind me reposting his comment:
“Kitty’s actually saying GET THEE BACK DOWN INTO WHICHEVER FOUL PIT HATH SPEWED THEE FOURTH, WRETCHED INTERLOPER!! and nothing about pianos at all.”
There is a kitten just off screen.
My hairless cat, Flanny, is notorious for the completely conversational tone in which she occasionally says, “Meg merp.” No clue what it means.
[Well, have you tried asking Meg? - Ed.]
One of the best video ever.
I’ve seen it a lot of times, angry cat is great
Moar talking cats! This video was the first time I saw Don Piano. It’s an exerpt from Americas funnies videos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO5bxshM-5g
i’d be happy to nuff a bit if it means puddins tossed my way.
{puttin on catchers mitt}
LMAO!! I love this video, every time I watch it I just crack up.
My Blue Abyssinian girl, Kira, talks like this when she is angry with her Ruddy sister, Chloe. I swear we have heard her say “I HATE YOU” on several occasions!
…awl da livelonnnnnnnng dayy.
charliewabba! A clever sonnetist in our midst! Woot! Applause!
“gog- …..gled” LOL!
Yes, “Poetry takes precedence.” Absorightly.
My poetic license was revoked due to repeat offenses. You reminded me; I wrote a sonnet once, 1981, called Sonnet Boom. Todays’ little ditty was written in my head in about 20 min., while at work.
Get well soon wishes to your hubby! Um, feeding cats and writing a sonnet before feeding hubby??? OK!
Theo– we aims to SNORK– erm, please.
Wow. That’s a VERY ANGRY cat.
Wonder if anyone got bit in the making of that video?
Wouldn’t surprise me.
A lot of people tell me their cat/dog can say ‘mom.’ I wondered about that for a bit, and then thought that it was because they always referred to themselves as ‘mom’ to the animal, and they were using it as a name – something they could manage. It was confirmed when my sister refused to be a ‘cat mom’, and her cats started making a noise that sounded like her name (Erin). Freaked us both out, really. I think animals do try to imitate us – it’s all they hear!
I have LOVED this vid for years, thanks for putting it up!
I still like this cat coming to say ‘hello’ better. Although that’s probably because I’ve seen Don Piano up there a million times.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV71mpbvl-g
THAT was completely redonk!!
Oh yes those are definitely real kitty noises. Not all cats are capable of making that pitch, though. My kitty (RIP) did that occasionally, and that was when you knew to get the hell away from him because he was about to go haywire and rip someone’s face off.
As for laughing at the cat’s expense…I find the non-subtitled version kind of disturbing…but the subtitles just kill me, especially the “Long johnson” part…
Damn the man. Does anyone have any idea why every embedded youtube video i try to watch comes up as “video removed”? They can’t possibly all be removed….
This is just silly! LOL.
the video is hilarious…but, what does nuffing mean???
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as much as the first time I saw this clip on AFV! Funniest ever. I remember my girlfriend started imitating the cat during a boring university lecture the day after, making me all giggly… pure evil.
I seriously can’t stop watching this. I hate the laugh track but this is totally freaking me out!
I agree. My cat sounds like this right before she pukes up a hairball…and the remainder of her din-din. If she’s on the couch, it’s a clear sign to put her on the kitchen floor where it’s easier to clean up. It happens every time. So, not really funny.
So dats what it is?…
A puddin-tat?!
I watched the vid 6X’s- I’ve been *quacking up* all morning!
I agree, berthaslave…didn’t sound real to my ear either, plus my kittehs scattered around didn’t even bat an eye.
BUT…
@kali: Thanks for the link!! My kittehs really reacted to that one!!! Don’t have any english speakers here…..maybe cuz I’m always imitating THEM? Hee!
OMG! I am laffing so hard I can hardly breeeethe! Poor widdle kitteh is sooo upset that she tries to make pipple noises, hoping, perhaps, that the pipple will feel compassion & take away the source of her stress. Ha! Fat chance, kitteh. It’s all about how WE feel, not you. And when we, the simpering cretins at CO (most of us, that is) are laffing at kitteh’s funny noises, it feels GOOD! For even better yocks, click on the image of the orange tabby in the cage, with her ears flattened. She’s in absolute terror–what a riot! I reckon Ted Nugent himself could hardly find a better source of amusement.
Thank you, SBA, Melissa, and Berhaslave for having the heart to see how disgusting this kind of thing can be.
And Jack spoils the party yet again. Brava little man, brava. It’s nice to be the superior one, isn’t it?
TEHO! TEHOOOO! TEHO!!!! Do you hang out at icanhasacheezburger.com too?? DO YOU!!!! I SAW YOU DON’T DENY IT!!! I’m telling Meg.
[Lately, not as much as I used to, but sure... - Ed.]
“Why I eyes ya” is a common saying in my household as well, ever since I stumbled on this video about a year or so ago.
My three cats make strange, sometimes angry or plaintive, noises (some of them amusingly human-like) at me, my boyfriend, the cat who lives next door, and one another all the time, and they continue to be happy and healthy members of the family. This kitty just happened to be caught on film for one of those moments. Long live Don Piano.
Monty, I am proud to spoil any party where people are laughing at distressed animals. Can you honestly say you felt no sympathy for this cat? Sorry if I come off sounding superior, but this is such a great site that it makes me angry when they show animals having a bad time & dozens of people find it adorable.
There is so much suffering in the world that I just wanna see cute little animals in warm & fuzzy situations. This makes me a nuffer? A troll? Sheesh.
I found this really really funny, and I think people just need to lighten up really, this is an old vid and I’m sure the cat is/was fine My mom and dad have old vids of us when we were little of us falling down a icey hill, at the time I cried, but now seeing it and knowing I was FINE is SOOOO FUNNY I pee my pant just thinking about it! I’m sure if there was any real danger or pain the vid would not be such a hit 10/20 years later and I’m also sure the owners would have known to put the camera down and help the kitty! LIGHTEN UP! ENJOY LIFE and LEARN TO LAUGH AT OLD OLD VIDEOS!
P.S. Just this past evening I have heard some kitties outside yowling like this, they are in heat and gettin’ ready to get it on! Yeah for them! Plus I had a kitten once that when I was worked up about stuff he would arch his back point his ears and “hop” around the house He never was hurt just “felt” the tension in the air!
Amanda, I salute you for creating a post that is a masterpiece of irony!
I’ll wager a lot of pipple are going to be fooled into thinking you’re serious. Well done! Hey, it was so amusing that I peed my “pant” too. Now excuse me while I go out back & chuckle at the absurd noises some kittehs are making as they prepare for coitus & the creation of an oh-so-cute litter of feral kittehs that will struggle & suffer & perish.
Hooo-wee, some peeps sure could make a LOT of money by selling their never-used, “still-in-the-box-with-tags”, sense of humor. And there’s big dollars in selling their encyclopedia set, since they already know it all.
Yeah Jack! “pipple” are going to laugh I think you and I are on the same page, because it takes one to know one! So… Plus what can I do about other peoples cats that they don’t spay? That is why I don’t own any animals, they are alot of work and take care that I don’t have time to give them. I was not laughing about the way things “are going to turn out” I couldn’t do a single thing about what the cats were doing in the middle of the night. And I wasn’t laughing a it, i was saying it was a “normal” cat thing/sound.
And I was being serious about my parents having home videos of us at a little age, doing stupid stuff, and I, as of all of my family, laugh at these years later. As far as spelling errors, I think you should stop calling the kettle black.
Mmmmm. Pudding! How nice to nom while I giggle at this video some more! While I sometimes nuff when the human has *put* the kitty into a dangerous sitch for our amusement, this is just 100% pure, accept no substitutes, Kitty Attitude. Yay!
(Will wait until kitty ‘tude goes away before snorgling beleh!)
I cannot stop watching this and cracking up.
Know what else cracks me up? The people who think that laughing at this is somehow contributing to animal abuse. Gimme a break folks. Life is tough sometimes. We all have to do things we don’t enjoy. I spoil my dog like there’s no tomorrow, but I also don’t feel sorry for her when she occasionally has an unpleasant experience (OMG, being left home alone for an hour is TORTURE). Lighten up and get a life.
I think it’s really really funny! And I don’t think the cat is being harmed in any way, if it was the owner would be doing something to help it. People need to lighten up.
[Amanda, it *is* funny, no worries. Best to ignore the troublemaker(s) & let me worry about them... - Ed.]
angry cats crack me up! their little instincts kick in and they act like big scary lions. it’s obvious this kitty is mad about the “intruder” and not in any dire distress. lol, i say, lol!
i wish i’d seen this without the subtitles the first time, because it would be interesting to see what words my ear picked up without any prompting.
thanks, berthaslave for the info. i had no idea, and i work in tv!
crime shows and historical docs have no laugh tracks
Kudos to all poets — I admire your talent!
This majorly-pissed kitteh reminds me of my dear departed Heather, who lived out her 19 years with me. She was a small, delicately-boned kitty with fine, long gray hair, and the dantiest of soft and squeaky mews. Except for one night when I was brought bolt-upright in bed by a horrific screech, followed by a string of loud kitty expletives similar to this video (which was clear to me could be translated about the Theo has interpreted this cat’s communication). It seems an intruder cat was on the other side of the sliding glass door sitting on “her” deck. I had no idea my sweet little Heather had it in her. It was like hearing my grandmother cuss like a sailor.
haha check this out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hL32EylMEE
Khatt, did nobody answer your question about ’nuffs? It’s when people come on here and say something is “not cute enough (“enuff”) because the poor animal is suffering, or about to suffer, or may suffer in the future, or something like that. Like the people who can’t enjoy this video because the cat is having a bad day and that’s too disturbing to relax and laugh at the things he says when he’s pissed.
cath wrote: “…I had fallen asleep on the back porch, and a neighbourhood cat that knew me came and curled up on my chest. Snickle saw us from inside the screen door, and I awoke to that terrible, surreal noise. I’m sure he was calling me a scarlet woman!”
Cath – mwahahahahahaa! that cracked me up completely! just perfect! xD
opposable kitty thumbs? language? hide the can openers…that’s all they need now and it’s all over for us. dead in our sleep, we’ll be. why i eyes ya… wait. they can’t reach the ATM machines. whew. safe for another year.
My cat says MARYANNE very loud and clear before he barfs. So it sounds like “Maaareeeanne ::hulh::” I live alone, and the first time he did it I about thought my house was haunted!
I suppose it could be real… My daddy had a cat growing up that could say her name and her sister’s name. It scared the bejeezus out of him.
This one still amazes me the most!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV71mpbvl-g
My cat loves to say, “Tipsy Pookins, red tights and a French manicure, splendid!”
Wait, …I don’t have a cat. *.*
My landlady had tons of stray cats hanging around her backyard, and I once heard a tom howling like that. In the dark he sounded like an old man in pain; it freaked me out!
Desdemona, I have an extremely sweet, 17-year-old cat, who is majorly territorial. He puffs up and mskes ungodly noises at the outside cats who come to the porch. They don’t hurt him, or even threaten him– they can’t, anyway. But he still sounds like he needs both an exorcist and an enema.
Did anyone else see the video that was a link after the video was finished, at the bottom of the box, called Devil Cat or something? My god, that’s a scary cat. :-O
Pyrit sez, “My poetic license was revoked due to repeat offenses.”
I want that on a bumper sticker. It would go well with my current bumper sticker, which says, “My inner child is an honor student.”
By the way, do the peeps who get mad at us for laughing at this kitty even bother to READ the previous comments?
Ha ha!
Does anyone else remember seeing another video on AFV years ago, with a cat about to be given a bath, screaming: No….Nooo…NOOO!!
Of course it wasn’t actually screaming, but his meows sure sounded like that!
Kaya, I just found it on Youtube. I feel bad just watching it. Poor kitteh, though it is pretty amazing how much it sounds like he’s actually screaming “no”.
Not going to post the URL because I’m too afraid the nuffers will get me in my sleep.
Allow me….
Ok here is the dog one I mentioned forever ago…
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZCYaw5tGYAs
You know, it’s a miracle more of us don’t get peed on in our sleep…..
My room-mate’s cat Boudicea can say her owner’s name “Ron”. She also says “No” and, when asking for her food, “Now.”
But this week she really surprised me. She was doing her “now, now, now” and I told her “You get fed at noon, it’s only 10:30.” I swear she made a sound that was exactly like “I know,” and then went right back to complaining.
Creepy kitty!
These sounds are very real, and kitty is not angry – if anything, he’s in pain! He is getting ready to barf up a HUGE hairball, as anyone with a long-haired kitty can tell you…!!!
As anyone who has bothered to read the comments could tell you, this cat is not in pain from outgoing hairball, it is being territorial.
Acksherly a lot of “human comedy” relies on us laughing at people being angry/afraid about something that really isn’t a threat.
Why I oughta…!
Haiku for an angry kitteh:
O Don Piano!
Be gone with your long johnson
Before I eyes ya!
i dont want that you send me e-mails more im sick on the pictuers
What? No Caturday Evening Post?
just hilarious!!!!
no offense, but reminds me of like an old man with alzheimers or something, no?
I used to have a collie who talked in human. She used to say “hello” every morning when we came down. One New Year’s Day I came down and told her “Hey Kona it’s 1999!” and I swear she said “nine?” right back.
I just have to say how glad I am to have seen this on Friday. I’ve been sick all weekend (nothing serious, just sniffles and coughs and self-pity), and now, whenever I feel really inconsolably sorry for myself, I let out a plaintive “Oh, Don Piaaaaaaaano.” Somehow it makes me feel better, and it’s less annoying for my partner than ordinary whimpering. Thanks, CO!
hehehehe “One of my favorites. We actually go around our house moaning “OH, LONG JOHN. WHY I EYES YA.”"
I do that too
Tigress, my kitty does it too. “Now” “mom” “aunt” and since she can’t manage “uncle” she got a fair approximation of “matt”.
And Deb, it may be that he was sick. But I know for a FACT, from my OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE that sickness is NOT the only reason they make these sounds. When I moved in with my boyfriend and my kitty met his husky for the first time, she made noises like that. Considering there is another kitty just off-screen, i’d say that illness/pain is NOT the reason. Chill out. Kitty is just laying down the LAW.
Sad, not funny; sorry.
Molly the Bluetick Coonhound, as recorded by voice recogniction:
“but took Hutton”
“to cook room room”
and the epic:
“look homeward wrong aroma problem follow”
If you guys want a Long Johnson T-shirt there’s a whole range of merchandise at http://www.ohlongjohnson.com (there’s even a dog jacket with Oh My Dog on it!)
This is the epitome of talking pet video. I have watched it various times for at least two years and it never fails to crack me up. My spouse and I borrow this cat’s lines ALL the time. I say “Oh my dog” at work at times when a normal person would say “Oh my god” – very handy since I work in a public school. But the line that always puts me over the edge is “Oh Don Piano.” Such operatic DRAMA! Long live angry kitteh!