I hate my squirrel boss

So, my squirrel boss just came in and circled errors on my reports

Image10

Then he lectured me from the stapler about Accounts Receivables beating us at softball

Image9

Then he said if I could come in on Saturday for the TPS reports, that’d be greaaaaaaaat.

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What a jerkerto. Sarah S. says this squirrel also has an obsession with coffe. Well, obvy.

Comments

  1. J to the E says:

    Yes Sir!

  2. He’s cute.
    but his paws are sort of creepily prehistoric.
    but he’s cute.

  3. Ugh, squirrel boss. Makes all the squirrel interns fetch him acorns. Ruuuuude.

  4. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    “I believe you have my stapler …”

    (too obvious?)

  5. Wow, I wonder if he’s someone’s pet or rehab pet?

  6. How could I stay angry with a boss who looked like that?

  7. Boy, wait till the shrews in marketing and the voles “upstairs” see this…

  8. I can’t imagine how hyped-up a skwerl on coffee would be. I think it’s positively risky to expose them to that kind of substance. It most likely increases their evil powers tenfold.

    Otherwise, cute.

  9. I am just sorry – I would have to kiss my boss – and probably get fired if my boss were that adorable and had a fluffy tail-o like that.

    I would do TPS reports until my knuckles turned black and blue if he wanted me to – on Sundays – on CHRISTMAS!

  10. *splodes* what an adorable office squirrel! WHO TOOK THIS PICTURES AND HOW?! i lurve squirrelys.

  11. yes he is cute, i’ll give you that. but the bigger question is WHY is there a squirrel inside someone’s office. we once had a squirrel get into our house and it was not a pleasant experience at all. AT ALL. more like terrifying.

  12. I hate it when my boss lectures me from the stapler!

  13. That is a very tiny squirrel! Is he a baby or just a little mini one?

  14. ThreeCatNight says:

    That squirrel accomplishes more in the office than some people I’ve worked with in the past.
    Looks like an adorable little mini-squirrel.

  15. EEP! Bebbeh sqwerls!!!!! They are so freakin’ adorable. I miss them. Thanks for cute!!! That’s an overload of it!

  16. Gah! I want a sqwerl in my office too!!

  17. This must be the official headquarters of the Skwerl Overthrow Branch, or S.O.B, of Evil Otter International.

  18. Bluemenro says:

    Squeeee!erl

  19. LOL I love squirrels! Iwant one as my boss too! I love them. I have one in my yard that has the cutes face1

  20. I second Kalli!!!

  21. My stapler at work is the same model but tan and brown. Oh and without the cute skwerl on it. *sigh*

  22. Adorable!
    WANT!!!

  23. I want a cute bebeh squirrel boss!! Only if I can cuddle with it and swoosh it’s tail gently around as it swigs down coffee :P

  24. …I used to be by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then they moved my desk…

  25. one of the erins says:

    I’d be willing to replace my boss with a skwerl…

  26. Hm. My boss IS squirrelly, but he’s not a skwerl like this one. I’d love to have a little baby skwerl as a desk ornament.

  27. is the squirrel boss taking away your swingline? Better pack up your stuff because he’ll be banishing you to the basement soon enough.

  28. And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married… But then they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll, I’ll, I’ll set the building on fire…

  29. CoffeeCup says:

    I’m in an office right now. I don’t have a Swingline (generic Staples brand) but I do have an Initech mug!

  30. I believe if I had a squirrel boss, I’d be fired quite quickly, because I could not resist poking the belly whiteness and saying ‘Who has a white belly? Who? Who does? YES you do! You have the white belly!’

    Bosses, in my experience, don’t go for that so much.

  31. Sqwerl! Want…ehn!! I have a black Swingline sitting on my desk. I should probably be doing some work with it instead of posting here on CO…

  32. CoffeeCup says:

    You know, it’s that last photo that just does it. The fact that the little guy can sit on the cup and drink out of it is amazing, though I doubt his little lungs have the sucking power to get any liquid up that massive (relative to him) straw.

  33. Sharon Wilson says:

    LOL at the squirrel trying to drink from the straw! But what is he doing at work?

  34. And here am I at Wendy’s International HQ looking at CO and what do I see but a bebeh skwerl slluurrpping from a Wendy’s soda cup? Who’d a thunk!? :)

  35. Somebody obviously needs another rubbing with that calming lotion.

  36. zomg!! will someone tell me the story behind these photos?? Dying to know!!

  37. Mary (the first) says:

    Pretty darn cute, if you ask me. He could be my boss anytime.

  38. Edward, LMAO!!!
    (poking boss squirrel in tummy, etc.)

  39. TPS reports. Snort.

  40. berthaslave says:

    Yeah, we definitely need the story behind this one.

    I wonder if the squwerl is merely middle management, and he works for the Grumpy McGrumpersons cat from the other day?

  41. “The squirrel kicked our a$$.”

  42. Hmmmm ponders the advantages and disadvatages of a skwerl boss… All the nuts I can eat, frolic and wrestling would now be considered part of my job discription,
    I could comb out MR skwirls tail, I could fit MR skwirl in my pocket..

    then there are the disadvantages.. I would be working for peanuts… and I would have to help the evil skwirls take over the world..

    Well I think the advantages out weigh the disadvantages..
    Don’t you?

  43. oooohhhh!!!! CUTE, MY GIRLFRIEND AND I WERE FORCED TO NURSE A SQUIRREL AFTER A TREE WAS CUT DOWN AND TWO BABIES FELL FROM THE TREE, FINALLY WE SET THEM OUTSIDE FOR THEIR MOM TO TAKE THEM, TOOK ONE THEN THE OTHER WE THOUGHT WE WOULD KEEP, WE HAD ALREADY NAMED IT “SOBER”!!!!

  44. No more for you!

    *surreptitiously slides Milton’s coffee cup out of reach*

    Oh, and not to make ya’ll TOO jealous, but I have a squirrelless but maroon Swingline stapler on my desk.

  45. “do you mind if i have some of your tasty beverage to wash that down?”
    -jules

    but wait, i don’t see any big kahuna burger wrappers….

  46. mberkie0-
    you know thoes Dublin sqwirls love their Wendys soda (and fries)! At least the ones at OSU Med Center love the fries!

  47. MandaBain says:

    As if I’m not distracted enough at work by CO, I can only imagine how little I’d get done with a skwerl…sitting on my stapler…getting ready to drop a load of digested seed on my calculator…

  48. yet another michelle says:

    This ‘possum could be his Dwayne Schrutt…

    http://picasaweb.google.com/mberry212/MrMcPossumPowerBrokersons

    (no ‘possums were harmed, they had been rescued unexpectedly and my officemates and I were asked to ‘possum-sit)

  49. YAMichelle, I didn’t think it was possible for possums to be that kewt! If only we could all be as pretty as when we were babies.

  50. Teresa Colvin says:

    I’m looking for a job and these people are at their jobs misspelling squirrel.He is a cute little guy.

  51. my baby squirrel used to sneak up on my bed while I was doing homework and steal my pencil…

  52. mom2twinzz says:

    Hey if you want/need that RED stapler (as opposed to the merely maroon one) they actually sell them online. Along with all the other important company “incentives” (sp sux 2day)

    http://www.redswinglinestapler.com

  53. I have skwerls outside my office window. Do you think if I let them in they would help me do paperwork?

  54. Cutest. Behbeh. Squirrel. Ever.

    I would clearly be fired for trying to schnozzle my boss every two seconds…

  55. (full of useless trivia)

    When Milton had his stapler, they didn’t even make red swingline staplers! Sthruth!

  56. Merely maroon?

    *clutches at heart*

    MERELY maroon?!?

    *hugs and caresses her merely maroon stapler*

    It’s okay, my sweet maroon stapler. Mama loves you.

  57. CheshireCat says:

    I keep imagining the squirrel bouncing off the stapler: Sproing!

  58. Pat Trenner says:

    Edward wins 50,000 gold stars for the “Who has a white belly?” routine. You’re KEELING me!

  59. a different Laura says:

    Ah, but I have a rare tan swingline with faux woodgrain on the top and sides (tho much worn off.)

    Still, I’d trade it for a desk skwerl any day..

  60. Wow, wat a cutie and he looks so small…

  61. OMG!! Too cute! We must have the backstory. MUST!

  62. I have never worked for a squirrel but I think I would prefer them over some of the NUT jobs I have worked for.

  63. “ummmm, yeaaaah. hey, listen. we’re gonna need you to come in on saturday, mmmkay? yeaaaah. in fact why don’t you come in on sunday too. mmmkay. thaaanks.”

  64. ditto on the backstory request

    double-ditto on Edward’s poke-poke being fun-fun

  65. Not right now, Squirrel Boss, I have a meeting with the Bobs.

  66. Mr. Waddams! Mine is grey with a maroon stripe and was stolen from the government and black-marketed to me. ;)

    Skwerl boss? I has kitteh boss. An kitteh soopervizer. An kitteh overseeer. An kitteh dept. hed. They keeps me in line o yes they duz!

  67. jlfs;bdkj says:

    thats so f-ing funny

  68. Swingline Staples used to be located in Long Island City, Queens, New York. The factory had a huge neon sign that was a local landmark. I remember weaving home from a bar with a college friend– “And there’s the–SilverCup Bread factory . . . and the Swingline Staple factory . . .”

  69. You just made my day! You have no idea how much I needed to laugh. This was perfect.

    I used to manage a Psychiatry practice and we had a “pet” squirrel we called Nutty. He would come to the window and sneak in all the time….

  70. Eater of Shades says:

    EEEEE!!! Squrly!!! EEEEE!!!

    -That is all

  71. Oh yeah I have been loving this thread and all the comments all day.
    Ya’ll are nuts!

    As I used my simulated woodgrain Swingline today at work, while viewing the kitties having a snorgle on CO, suddenly Skwerly McBossersons appeared! I was caught! Quickly I gave a hasty explanation that the snorgling kitties were only a passing fancy. It was really Skwerly Boss that I, that I, um, well, was “working” on the most! Definitely Skwerly Boss.

  72. Uhhh… no. It’s most definitely spelled “Squirl”.

    /the more you know

  73. Anne Boleyn says:

    Clearly this day has been too much for too many of you. It would seem you’ve been sipping more than coffee, from the hilarity of this thread. You’ve gotta love a squirrel that brings people to this!

  74. Ack…it’s skvirl time already? Oy, vatta day!

    Okay–Vhere’d ya hide da nuts???

  75. I CAN HAS PET SQUIRREL PLEASE?!

  76. yet another michelle says:

    :sheesh: I’m feeling a little stapler deficient as I have no cool retro swingline in faux woodgrain or red or even the baby blue pictured here. I at least have a swingline stapler, but it’s an every day basic black, purchased at Office Depot a few years back. :sigh:

  77. saweet!!! that is 1 awesomeee squirel!!!!!

  78. hehe I’m Sarah S too.
    I love this post!

  79. I always enjoy every uber-cute picture.

    But the squirrel boss has JUST went way too far.

  80. It is neither Skwerl nor Sqwirl nor Squirl. It’s SQUIGGLE. Get it right, people. You’re paid too much as it is!

  81. Not only is this sqwerl / squirl/ squirrel quite the cutie pie, but I’m feelin’ awfully proud to have my ergonomic, black on black, standup, easy grip Swingline stapler! Though I’m having a bit of envy about the red Swingline; it’s pretty cool man, pretty darn cool.

  82. Well I have teh only tan swingline in our office.. I got everyone else black ones… so I can tell when they “accidentally” walk off with mine..But now a maroon one… boy howdy I sure would like a maroon one .. with decorative sqwirl(purposly miss spelled cause I can) attached.

  83. joan carlson says:

    Yeah I had a Skwerl boss once, he absolutely was high strung, and no body liked him, though most thought him cute. They just shouldn’t be the boss of anybody and everything is jes fine. A skwerl boss is a good thing for -someone else- to have for sure.

  84. OMG I just thought of something else… anyone see Over the Hedge? Wasn’t it the squirrel that they wouldn’t allow to have caffeine ’cause he was so inherently hyper?

  85. A) I want me a squirrell boss.

    B) There is no “b.” I just want a squirrell boss.

  86. I remember what “b” was!!!! That squirrel’s employee has a really neat desk, no?

  87. I don’t think my corporate, major mass retailer would let me get away with bringing a squirrel to work. But we do get puppehs every now and then…

  88. AuntieMame says:

    Bosses, in my experience, don’t go for that so much.
    Edward | Jan 25, 2008 at 10:37 AM

    I can’t imagine why not.

    /Pictures self poking boss’ tummy
    //Fails
    ///Probably a good thing

  89. so cute!!!!!!!

  90. hahah yeah it was over the hedge where they wouldn’t let the squirrel have caffeine… and in the end when they needed someone to evade lasers quickly, they gave him an energy drink and let him have at it

  91. Squirrel!!!

    Sweetie Squirrel!!

    Give a wee kiss on the squirrel nose!

  92. Yitzysmommie says:

    Heh heh – I’d also do TPS reports on Sat if Mr MSkwerlpants here was my boss.
    I have a utilitarian black Swingline. BBOOOOOORRING. But never been stolen off my desk, unlike the red scissors that say Belong to Barb Touch & Die – and have been missing for two weeks!

  93. Squirrel bosses are at least not as bad as hamster managers. Those have terrible attention deficit problems, and will have you running around the wheel, going nowhere until you poop out.

  94. i’m with clare

    and not just for the rhyme

    it’th a THQUIGGLLLLLE!

  95. My boss is more of a weasel.

    Like skwerls need coffee!?

  96. Didn’t anyone notice that the boss has a tube of Calming Cream on his desk in the first picture. Just in case he GOES A Little Skwerly or Nutty I guess.

  97. Ohmygoodness. There is so much Rule 14 in these pictures!

  98. I had a baby pet squirrel when I was 5.. it was so cute and make little “meeps” all the time.
    Well if this is him all grown up, I’m glad to see one foster squirrel come out on top with a well paying job.

  99. i, for one, welcome our new squirrel overlords.

  100. Christine says:

    I’m totally seeing a lot of rules…6, 13, 14…
    Yessir, this is wonderful. (:

  101. We had an administrator nicknamed “Squirrel Boy” (and not in a good way). Once he hid under his desk to avoid a coworker. I am not making this up. A very nervous guy. [twitch, twitch]

  102. I believe that’s Milton’s stapler.

    Milton’s stapler. I believe that may be it.

  103. Tis a bubby squiggle of approx 8 weeks old

    And Sooooooper cute. But I hope they stop playing with him soon and get him into an outdoor pen with some other squiggles so he can go back to the wild where he belongs ;)

  104. Yitzysmommy, I used to have a colleague who pasted a note down the length of her scissors that read “DO NOT MOVE.” I used to pass her desk, look at the scissors, and freze in my tracks. After a few times, she made a new sign that said “DO NOT MOVE THE SCISSORS.” ;)

  105. possumbutt says:

    LOL that a squirrel inside could be a ‘terrifying’ experience.

    I love squirrel boss.

  106. Anne Boleyn says:

    I simply cannot go back and reread all the Swingline styles mentioned to see if there’s anyone with a 737 like mine: BMW blue with a black racing stripe along the top…..but no cute skwrl.

  107. OMG! I didn’t realise that there was another Edward on here. Maybe I should change my name as I am a girl. Heh.

    Anyways, I wants a bebe skwerl!!!!! It’s teh cyootes!

  108. Be careful everyone – if squirrel is here, Boris and Natasha can’t be far behind.

    Now where’d that moose get to?

  109. Silent Meow says:

    I am feeling a bit deprived.

    My stapler is just a boring black.

    And no skwerl taskmaster on top to make sure that I study hard for my college trig exam.

  110. I hear clamors of a story, so here’s what happened.

    *puts glasses on*

    The squirrel in question was, a male(I believe) for one, and was rescued from the attic of my friend’s job. Apparently he was a little too young to live outside as we’d recently had some snowy weather, so she cared for him until he was a big strong squirrel. Seeing as how the squirrel was a little guy and it’s never wise to leave a squirrel at your house un-watched, she brought the little guy to work.

    She recently let the little guy go and released him out into the wilds of New Jersey where he is hunting for his caffeine fix, more staplers, and bossing other squirrels around with this blue ink pen of d00m.

  111. yet another michelle says:

    :crosses legs and sits at Sarah S’s feet:

    Yay! Great story!

    Meg is always going on about the Dream Office…we need someone handy with video/picture editing to make a Dream Office short with some of the recent animal-in-the-workplace pictures…We have Mr. Skwerlio here, my possums, the tres chic kitteh with the scarf and gloves. Please, someone?

  112. Now that’s a boss I’d like to snorgle. [shifty eyes]

  113. I’m with you Sug, I’d totlaly snorgle this little guy if he were my boss!

    *shifty eyes*

    What a snorgable shmorgasborde.

  114. payneangel13 says:

    whos haulin all his nuts if hes doin all the paper work

  115. impulsivegrrl says:

    the hillarity of mr. squirrel and this thread makes me wonder what the dollar equation to loss of productivity due to this post equals…

  116. a different Laura says:

    In my case, there’s a productivity GAIN because of the stress relief I get from this site!

  117. *clutches heart*
    ….skwerl…..anerable….
    *falls on to knees*
    *falls to floor*
    *ded*

    my boyfriend had to buy me a stuffed animal squirrel to get me to shut up about wanting one. didnt work.

  118. Isn’t it a REALLY bad idea to let a squirrell indoors?

  119. Mary — heck yes, but giving squirrels their own departments & staff is worse.

  120. Squirrel Victim Charlie says:

    They’re cute until somebody looses a finger!

  121. luckycliff says:

    I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!!! I DRINK IT UP!!!!

  122. As long as good hearted but untrained folks keep a wee squirrel,no they are not toys to impress people with) in captivity(in this case an unsafe situation and the wrong diet)there will be heartbreak and non accptence when released.At least “do your homework” if you cannot find a Wildlife Rehabilitator.Oh,man hope you don’t come back as a suirrel and drink coffee.Poor wee thing.

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