The toilet papères… she can hurt you no more!

Look at dee EEEEEEVIL toilet papères… She ees taunting! She is a quilted cottony Temptress!

Bongo1

And now, she has been tamed, remoffed of her powers! You can thank me laters. I require very little paymaynts.

Bongo2

What a relief THAT has been taken care of, Monica W. [wiping brow]

Comments

  1. There’s gotta be a market for toilet paper clips/holders that don’t allow it to roll freely — but then there would be less cute in the world!!!

  2. P.S. Note the look of innocence! Cats must go to “it wasn’t me, I swear” camp to get this skill…

  3. I love the second picture. There! It is done! I shall take a nap in the delicious victory I have created!

  4. Ohhhhhh kitteh can unroll my TP any time!

  5. Christina says:

    Just put it on backwards — which might bother the ocd (raises hand) but keeps kitty from unraveling a whole roll!

  6. Awwww …. lookit dat kidden! [SPLODE]

  7. Ok, I’ve been accused of being a spammer because I wrote in babytalk. Thanks, Typepad.

    >:(

    I wonder if this goes through…

  8. berthaslave says:

    Estimated time between photo 1 and photo 2:

    As long as it took for the human to turn around and say “come quick and look at the kitteh with the tp!”

  9. I now have to leave the tissue box upside down because of this behaviour. They haven’t discovered the toilet paper yet, but love watching the flush.

  10. luckycliff says:

    EEEEEVIL!!!!! You’re too funny Meg! HEEHEE!!

  11. I’m sure they’ll figure out the backward toilet roll at some point. I just love how cats manage to look sincerely surprised at what they just did. “How’d THAT happen?” “Who did THAT?” I wish I could pull that off…

  12. Love the first pic! Marmie says it’s a matter of life and death – evil TP! My cat’s never done this, but is well known for wrestling with a roll not on the holder and using his back claws to thoroughly shred. Then he started doing it to rolls paper towels. Sigh!

    I have a Christmas paper storage box (yet more things on cardboard rolls deserving of cat attacks) that was behind the headboard all year. I pulled it out and guess what? My cat said “I have keeled them for you”. Yikers! Hard to wrap presents with clawed holes through the paper! What can you say. Only “Good Kitty”.

  13. I just love the cat’s face and the head tilt in the first picture! Couldn’t be more innocent.

  14. I just love when they are “fixing” things!

  15. I love the “Wha?…Who me? I’ve just sitting here!!” look.

  16. Such a sweet face!
    For those with cats (or in my case a dog) that does this, try stepping on/smooshing the toliet paper roll before hanging it so that it can’t roll so freely. That reduces the damage a little. Or you can give up like we’ve did and try to keep it out of the little darling’s reach.

  17. Wbirdie, I was going to post like the exact same thing. Kitteh sez “I didn’t do it! I just sit and take advantage of teh soft.”

  18. I used to have a cat that shredded the TP roll. Watching him all, “pthaa, pthik, pthaa” to get the bits off his tongue. Me, “Hey, ya got sumpin on yer chin there.” And when bits stick to the back paw. Priceless.
    My Jack Russell attacks the laundry.

  19. My sister used to have big ginger kitty who liked to lightly shred the toilet paper. She rolled it back up and claimed it was “special lace patterned” paper…

  20. Yitzysmommie says:

    I don’t know why we silly humans think that TP is ours. It was clearly invented solely for cat pleasure!
    Yitzy loves him some toilette paperes.

  21. Wasting toilet paper just for the sake of seeing something cute is totally NOT CUTE. Hey, peeople–we should be thinking of conserving our resources from which toilet paper is made of. You can put your roll of paper with the first sheet coming from the inside (near the wall) so cats won’t see it dangling in free air & think it is a toy. People, GROW UP!

  22. To the Webmaster: This is a very good site but can you encourage a little bit of environmental-friendliness by not posting pictures showing total disregard for materials/things like having a tiny animal swim in a bathtub full of precious water or a kitten playing with toilet paper (made from precious trees)…Maybe you should redefine cuteness. Total disregard/disrespect for the environment is NOT CUTE nor COOL!

  23. See, Rina, it’s at the point where I sometimes can’t tell a true nuff from an ironic nuff.

  24. Momof2kitties says:

    Ummm, who’s got the puddin’? I call first toss!

  25. Rina – Take it easy. Why are you assuming that the TP is being wasted? Whenever my cat does this, I just roll it all back up and use it. No big deal. Plus, the TP doesn’t even have to be “dangling” for my cat to unroll it. She just knows she can.

    Cute, cute kitteh & pics! I had no idea TP was evil and that’s why my baby girl attacks it! Whew. She has saved me!

  26. Momof2kitties, just be sure you don’t waste any more tp when you clean up the mess. It might get her started again.

  27. Momof2kitties says:

    Oh no, I hear bebeh polar bear fur is very good for puddin’ clean up.

  28. Yitzysmommie says:

    Rina dear, we consider the TP pulled off the roll by Yitz “pre-cut” for human consumption. No waste, no foul.

  29. And I imagine bebeh polar bear fur is incredibly recyclable, too.

  30. Um, the peeps did not waste the paper….the cat unrolled it THEN they took a picture of it. I’m am 100% positive that this was not a conservation act of terrorism. But it is really cute. Somehow, maybe I’m just not grown up enough, this picture DOES NOT make me want to run home and throw around a bunch of toilet paper. ::sigh:: maybe ine day I’ll grow up to be a enviro-friendly as you are, Rina.

  31. lol, Rina! great imitation of an uptight nuff! (but you forgot to say “shame on you”).

  32. WAH! *sobs*
    WAH!

    I cannot hear the ironic tone in Rina’s voice!

    WAH! *pauses for breath*

    Is she a nuff or isn’t she? I’ll be pondering this question all day!!!

    WAAAAAAAAH!

  33. toborzgrrl says:

    Hmm. Seems to me that this kitteh is too short to have reached a properly hung TP roll. She could only reach it if eeeevil humans left a tempting length dangling down to kitteh-height. I say ENTRAPMENT!

  34. Maybe kitty reached it from his perch on the toilet.

  35. Phew!
    *wipes brow

    Kitteh saved the day!!

  36. Anne Boleyn says:

    Can’t resist saying (re: hover text comment) that someday kiteh may learn that this is not for wiping BROW!

  37. Rinawannabe says:

    Sorry, but what does nuff, and puddin’ mean? Sure can’t find them in the dictionary. I understand Rina’s position. USA is the land of abundance, don’t take things for granted or someday we’ll wake up having NOTHING.

  38. I have a siamese and she unrolls the paper either direction oh and the squashing the tube thing only works slightly.. Determined cat = unrolled paper. oh and waste it???? are you crazy??? we roll it back up and use it.. Like Yitzy says pre cut for human consumption.

    Oh and I thank my lucky stars everyday that I live where I do. so don’t think for a minute I take my life and what I have for granted.

    Waste not want not as the saying goes.

  39. charliewabba says:

    I thank the leetle kitteh, for beating the evil out of the toilet paper for mois. Now I can roll it back up and use it without fear.
    And, no, no, no, NO, you may not place it so it unrolls from the back, that is just plain WRONG. Wrong.
    (takes incorrectly hung TP roll off roller and switches it around, shaking head and muttering “wrong” then getting upset because “wrong” looks wrong when you type it too many times)
    Banana pudding, anyone?

  40. aww… my cat does this too! I came home one day and thought somebody had been in my house! Later I hear a mysterious noise coming from bathroom and there is my cat unrolling the toilet paper, happy and as cute as can be. I rolled it back it up and used it again.

  41. First pic is PRICELESS!Totally busted! Second pic she’s all “Yeah, that’s right, I killed the toilet paper. Your welcome.”

    Ok. Has anyone visited The Daily Kitten today? There’s a beautiful baby siamese named Theo! lol

    [OMG, just saw him! D'awwwWWWW!!! - Ed.]

  42. i hate cats so much

    [...yet your screen name means "lion"! - Ed.]

  43. Desdemona says:

    I usta have a kitty who unrolled and shredded the toilet paper, but only when I left her alone overnight. It was my just punishment, in her mind. This is why I no longer have a single cat household — kittehs need to have something to do with their time, after all!

  44. miltoncat says:

    It’s like the kitteh is guarding the fresh kill in the 2nd pic. Awesome.

  45. bookmonstercats says:

    Kitteh did not keel the eeeeveeelll TP. It isn’t shredded; ergo it is not evil. Obviously, her humans had NOT provided her with suitable bedding, and she was making a point. *Frowns at thought that any kitteh has to provide his or her own bedding. What’s the world coming to?*

  46. Mary (the first) says:

    Adorable.. in the second pic it looks like she’s surveying the area, “yep. I did good. yep. yep.” And, although some of you think the kitteh did it to save us all from eeeevil t.p., it’s been my own experience that cats are thinking only of themselves at all times. I think this one just wanted to build herself a comy nest.

  47. Mary (the first) says:

    a “comfy” nest, that is.

  48. Awwww what a sweetheart. It’s a good thing kittens are so damn wonderful and cute because we’d have to kill them for the stupid shit they do otherwise.

  49. Mary (the first) says:

    hmm I see Bookmonster and I have come to the same conclusion. Kitteh is completely self-serving.

  50. Momof2kitties says:

    Rinawannabe,

    Go to the More!More!More! section on the right of your screen and click on the Official C.O. Glossary. All that you seek is there.

    Mo2K

    [Shortcut here... http://www.squidgrid.com/cute/Glossary.htm - Ed.]

  51. CoffeeCup says:

    In the first pic, he’s almost challening the photographer…it’s like he’s saying, “What, you got sumthin’ to say to me? You got SUMTHIN’. TO SAY. TO ME?!”

    Yes, he’s a mobster kitty.

  52. what a cute and..err…helpful? kitty.

  53. catloveschanel says:

    Exactly Coffee Cup!

    Kitteh: (in Steve Martin Way..)

    “Exxx – Squeeeeeeeeeeeeze Me! “
    (hands on hips)
    “I wazzzzz tryin’ to be the first kitteh evah to do it in this toilet-thingie”

  54. Ginger's Cotton Socks says:

    Awwwwww! In the first pic, she’s all puss-in-boots, innocent, but you ca STILL SEE a guilty look in her face:

    ‘Qui? Moi? Oh, non messiuers, j’etais simplement sitting dans la toilette. C’est ne pas moi!’

    And in the second pict-eres, she’s all:

    ‘Okay, j’admit eet, c’etais moi! Moi ‘oo murdered la papier du toilette! Mais je SAVED tu, tu should be thanking moi!’

    Lol. I can just imagine her as a French Mistress!

  55. What a sweet baby. I think I could put up with a little TP carnage for that fuzzy face…

  56. None of my feline owners ever killed the TP. I’m so bummed!

    @ Shaz – I saw a video not too long ago of a Japanese contraption that measures out about 5 sheets of TP when you push a button. If I remember right, it was yet another Hello Kitty tchotchke. The roll itself is inside a plastic case so kiddies and kitties can’t get to it.

    But watch out if kitteh learns how to push the button, lolololol………..

    @ Subhangi – You’re not alone. The editor kittehs took a big ol’ momcat-style swipe at my nose (soft-paw of course, deys not meen kittehs) for writing my last post in wall-to-wall LOLspeak. :-)

    @ pyrit – “pthaa, pthik, pthaa”……. =ROFLmeow!= silleh kitteh! Bet he does the “chewing” thing too, trying to get the pieces into just the right position so he can either swallow them or spit them out. invizabl cheezburger!

  57. Cute cat.

    Moar dogs plz? Since Jan. 5 there have been 3 dog entries; this is the 14th cat post in that same amount of time. I have nothing against felines; just like to see some puppies too! :)

  58. so, when i got my kitteh and the previous owner said she had “no bad habits,” i guess this was the kind of stuff he was talking about? i don’t mean to boast, but my petra is a perfect angel (except if i pick her up, but then i’m askin’ for it, right?). but maybe if she got into more mischief she wouldn’t be so…ah…pleasingly plump. anyway, i’m sure the peeps that have to put up with this stuff don’t mind too much, on account of teh resulting qte is pretty.

  59. yeah, that last sentence has some editing gone bad in it…

  60. (TV Announcer Voice) “Next week, on Dateline, ‘When Editing Goes Bad: Bloggers, Commenters, and Their Failed Attempts at Proper Grammar and Punctuation.’”

    Sorry Anner, just picking fun. When I read your comment, in my head it came out in that TV voice.

  61. I’z still confused about bleen. Even though no one seems to be doing it anymore. Is bleen actually a … ?? Or do people type it out? Am I completely uncool and ignorable for not knowing???

  62. HEHE. i love how in the first pic, it’s trying to distance itself from the tp as much as possible. WASN’T ME!!

  63. (sobbing uncontrollably into polar bear behbeh fur, which is very absorbent)

  64. Bird of Paradise says:

    How has no one mentioned the adorable out-turned front paws yet?!?

  65. @ charliewabba: WORD. Not even the threat of evil TP justifies hanging it backward.

  66. Beth, Theo used to substitute it when someone said “FIRST!” on the first comment of a post. Then the peeps caught on and started subbing it themselves, thus making it no more fun for Theo. It’s still fun for us, though.

  67. And I hope you read that quickly, because he may [Ed.]it it, since he claims it doesn’t exist. It’s a CONSPIRACY!

  68. CheshireCat says:

    So that is why my kittayn always follows me into the bathroom, he seeks to protect me from TEH EVIL TOILET PAPERES!

  69. Yes! The paws! The paws are the worst! So fluffy and puffy looking.
    This is one adorable kitten.
    At least one. Its so cute, maybe it could be more.

  70. Did anyone else read CheshireCat’s comment as “he seeks to protect me from TEH EVIL TOILET OTTERS” ?

  71. *GASP* Not the evil TOILET OTTERS!!!! I shall never pee again.

  72. my two kittens would NEVER tear up tp…they are too busy drinking out of the toilet

  73. CheshireCat says:

    Evil Toilet Otters?! OMG! *shudders*

  74. Mary (the first) says:

    toilet otters? is that what you say when the kitteh demolishes the t.p.,” Look at this mess! Why, I otter … ” ;)

  75. Theres Otters in the toilet????? OHHH NOOOO!!!

  76. Oh, I’m definitely familiar with this sight – it happened last week when I forgot to shut the bathroom door before leaving for work. Luckily, the roll was only half full!

  77. AlbertaGirl says:

    OK, someone just came into my office and asked me why I was crying. I was actually facedown on the desk laughing until I couldn’t breath because of the EVIL TOILET OTTERS!!!

  78. AlbertaGirl says:

    Couldn’t “breathe”, that is.

  79. Yeah, they’ll do that to ya.

  80. i’m sorry brinnann, but i totally disagree about “bleen” being fun, ever.
    to me it’s just annoying…who cares who’s “first?”

  81. charliewabba says:

    So it was really the evil toilet otters all along – they tried to come out and make havoc, and the toilet paper only got unraveled during the battle between good (kitteh) and evil (toilet otters), but she has vanquised them and is sitting on teh closed lid to make sure they don’t get out. In fact, I have it on good authority that the EVIL TOILET OTTERS were trying to switch the roll so the toilet paper came out from THE BACK!!! and kitteh said no no no no and saved us all.
    I feel so much safer now.

  82. charliewabba says:

    oops i mean vanquished. it’s hard to type with a parrot on your arm.

  83. I stopped mine from unrolling the toilet paper when I turned the roll around, but now she pulls the towels down off of the towel rack. Never while I’m there, of course, but I’ll come home from work and there they are. Anyone else have this problem and find a solution to it?

  84. This is the reason all bathroom doors remain closed in our house. Visitors are given two rules upon entry. 1. Always put the toilet seat down because Mischief likes to drink out of the toilet bowl (a reckless act for a cat) and 2. always shut the bathroom door to save the TP from Mischief’s claws and delight in shredding and unrolling. As a kitten, before we discovered her TP habit was beyond even the most ruthless boxhab program, she managed to drag a new 24 pack of TP rolls under the bed. By the time we discovered it, most of the rolls were in a large fluffy pile of white paper snow and Mischief had a very smug smile on her face. We now hide the TP stash at the top of a bedroom closet, in the space normally reserved for spare blankets and unwanted gifts.

    I’ve suggested loaning Mischief out as shredding service, but she only targets TP rolls.

  85. Ashagato, Brinn was talking about teasing our beloved [Ed.] by using bleen in sentences like wow that is bleentastic some folks do still yell Bleen at the start of a post but that is usually becasue they don’t know better or just plain get so excited that they can’t think of what to say.

  86. yankeebird says:

    I once tried to outsmart my cats by putting the roll on backwards (at much personal pain to my OCD self), and their response was to unroll it anway, drag it a few feet into the litterbox, and then pee on it. That’s when I realised my cats were really something special – using toilet paper when they pee.

  87. Ahhh, thanks Brinnann!! I did not realize that it was in fact a Bleentastic conspiracy. No wonder there is so much to say about it (if it really DOES exist).

    Interesting fact: my two cats actually *train* evil toilet otters.

  88. charliewabba says:

    @Nik
    24 rolls? dear god.
    am I potential spam? I’m so sorry.

  89. Dreamspinner Cheryl says:

    The house I grew up in wasn’t connected to the sewer line, or to a septic tank, but dumped directly into the Ohio River (yea, I know, but this was waaay back the 60′s). Anyhoo, one night Mom flipped the light on in the basement bathroom-to find a MUSKRAT swimming laps in the toilet! ‘Course, by the time Dad answered Mom’s frantic scream, the muskrat had scrammed….

    Evil Toilet Muskrat? First cousin to the Evil Toilet Otter??

  90. I taped half a plastic takeaway box over my TP dispenser and labelled it “CAT BAFFLE”. Works.

  91. DreamSpinner Cheryl—-A MUSKRAT???! LOL!! That just about killed me!!

    Muskrat Susie,
    Muskrat Sam-
    Practice their backstrokes while in Cheryl’s “can”—
    And they’re swimming….”

  92. Anne Boleyn says:

    Yankeebird, maybe it’s a Yankee kitty thing because my great grandmother’s cat used the litterbox which was in the bathroom and then pulled TP over teh result, back in the early 1900s. This is one of the great family history notes that is passed down through generations. My cats here in the south have no such skills (well, there’s the TP tearing thing).

  93. first pic:

    baroo?

    second pic:

    what toilet paper?

  94. ka9q's wife says:

    putting the TP so the sheets come from the back worked with my cats. Then I got a doggeh who just grabbed the last sheet and ran.

    yes I rolled the TP up and used it anyway *weary voice*

  95. Glad peeps interested in conservation, but add to those who say rolling up tp is no biggie…
    worth adorable look on kitteh’s face. So proud! Want to cuddle this sweet little cat…

  96. karen wallin says:

    that kitten is soooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooo [...] ooocute!!!!!!![...]

  97. Love the naughty wittle face…
    then the laying down and being pleased with his bad self!