And now, an LOL cat translation of the Bible

BeebleFrom Genesis 1: "Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem."

And so much more… Here.

Thanks for all who sent this in, especially Lisa M.

Comments

  1. hilarious!

  2. Oh Em Gee teh FunnIeZ! An it was g00d!

  3. Seriously, don’t let the commenters from the “Meg says goddamn” commentroversy thread see this or there will be h-e-double-hockey-sticks to pay. (also, don’t let the icanhascheezburger regular commenters see it or ‘ll never be able to understand these comment threads again. )

    lolz. ;)

    Happy Fuzzy New Year’s everyone, with many cold noses and warm snorgles to come.

  4. berthaslave says:

    god thinks this is qte kthxbai

  5. cubbybutt says:

    I teach elementary school and have a student that speaks and writes just like this! Only not about the bible and more about guns, gangs, and violence. Sigh…

    “Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

  6. Babelfish says:

    thats so funny! I think some people may have a little too much time on their hands… :-P translating the whole bible into kitteh language…wow!

    I’m with you Aesthetica…hopefully those nuffers took their indignance and left when they had the chance!

  7. 18 Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph waz all “We’s gonna get marrieded, kthnx”, but before dey could had hankiez pankiez Mary was all pr3ggerz from Teh Forse.19 Joseph was liek “I has virjn – NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur”.

    Matthew 1

  8. 1st chapter of the Gospel of John is cracking me up. Well done whoever.

  9. This is genius. From Luke 1:

    34 Mary wuz liek “O rly, i iz a virgn remembr.”35 Gabriel wuz all “Ceiling Cat wil take caer of it.”

  10. Oh and btw if Ceiling Cat had eated everything in the beginz, that would have maded him Kronos and not Yahweh, rite?

  11. (the original) Mel says:

    *screams in horror*

  12. metsakins says:

    this is so wrong, but sooooo funny. Ceiling cat? oh no you didn’t!

  13. please delete this, its been posted on every site on the entire internet. its stupid, and doesnt deserve any sort of recognition.

  14. Voice of Reason, you searched EVERY website on the internet to check this? Wow, that’s a lot of pr0n!

  15. Oh God BWAHAHAHAROFLOL. Too funneh!

  16. hahaha @ taj!! dat is alot of pr0n!

    but the voice of reason knoweth all!

    I <3 ceiling kitties

  17. ZOMG! Teh Ceiling Cat inspirez anohter grayt werk.

  18. Genius! but gets a little tiring to read.

  19. This brings to mind the hilarious lolcat version of T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland. http://www.corprew.org/content/lolcat-wasteland/ . It gets tedious after a couple stanzas, but I just love the idea behind the enterprise. Oh, how I wish there were crude lolcat versions of all great works of literature.

  20. Here’s a thought for 2008 – even tho I don’t like this, I am thankful we can post it freely. just think, if this was from the Koran you would all be on a death list somewhere!

  21. mellisamouse says:

    Wowzerz!!!!

  22. I love ceiling cat.

    I admit the only reaon I looked at the comments for this was to see if the goddamn nuffs didn’t like this one either.

    tee hee

  23. rn500 you are on the death list like all of us cause we answer all to ONE GOD – you know the one who’s being blasphemed here.
    I’m sure you all wish to have been a nuff when you grill in hell

  24. To KHA (and nuffs of EVERY religious stripe), some of us revere Ceiling Cat, while others answer to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and others still acknowledge nothing more divine than a perfectly fluffy puppy. To quote the late, great Dr. Bronner (he of the excellent organic soap), “ALL ONE!”

    There is no sectarian prejudice in teh qte, only fuzzy harmony.

    kbaithnx.

  25. OK, I’m not a nuffer 99% of the time. And I don’t think I’m going to nuff now – because I have “my bible” and this is just supposed to be silly and funny. I doubt seriously that God will strike anyone down because they thought this is funny – because after all – didn’t HE instill us all with imagination?

    This is the kitteh bible, of sorts… long live ceiling cat. It’s cute.

  26. Holey guacamole. Maybe not so much of “translation” as “parody”… I can see why people will be nuffy about this one.

  27. I got a whole lotta reading to do today!!! tewtley hilare so farz!

  28. Silent Meow says:

    KHA,

    I am a Messianic.

    My G-d has a sense of humor.

    I don’t see any blasphemy here.

    Instead, I see G-d as laughing his head off.

    He created intelligence and humor in the first place, the intellectual capability and mind of those who came up with the idea of Ceiling Cat.

    This is just the hilarious fruit of G-d’s great creation.

    I strongly suggest that you take a chill pill. Relax. :o)

  29. Silent Meow says:

    To quote John 1:16,
    Becuz is a lotz of grayce we can has cheezburgers.

    I love it! LOL!

  30. I think the most amazing thing about the “translation” is that it loses nothing in translation! How dear. :)

  31. Cleen YoTeefah says:

    I have a new appreciation for last week’s parsha after reading it again in lolspeak.

    20 Ceiling Cat wuz liek to babyladies, yu cann hav cheezburgers.21 An buckets.

    lulz.

  32. Thank you for posting this! Tewtelly hilarious, made my day, but more than just the usual laugh out loud humor I come here for, thank you for not caring about what the crazies are going to say in retaliation! As someone who was raised extremely religiously I’ve always loved religious humor because it lightens up what so many people take much too seriously. Religious humor + LOL cat humor just takes it over the top.

  33. Are you people just seeing the LOLcat bible now? I’ve been showing it in my classroom for months! Check out Job something something: Ceiling cat gives and ceiling cat takes away. I will still follow the ceiling cat (or words to that effect). There’s a different highlight verse posted each day.

  34. Silent Meow says:

    jess,
    I am also very religious, but I LOVE cats and humor.

    I just about die laughing whenever I read this feline Bible paraphrase.

    Who says that religion and religious people have to be dry and boring as dirt?

    LOL!

  35. Meg, ur godam awsum!111!!!!

  36. While I might not find this funny, I do find people whingeing about what other people do on teh internets right amusing. It’s also good to see that people can have a sense of humor about their religion.

  37. one of the erins says:

    This is hysterical! I’ve seen it at least somewhere else for sure, but I’m glad to get the link again!

    jess/silent meow: agreed! God has a sense of humor. If he made us, he made our humor built right in.

    (And lets not forget the platypus. I always picture God saying “wait wait, check this one out!” and laughing, as he builds a platypus out of spare parts.)

  38. Yitzysmommie says:

    And Ceiling Cat sez: It is g00d.
    Our commentz are almost as good as the bibul.

  39. LOL! I think a decout sense of religion and a wacky sense of humor can co-exist! Mah kitteh sed so.

  40. Oops! Make that “devout”!

  41. Ah, I expected far more in the way of commentroversy… but the day is young! Almost disappointing, really – not too much in the way of nuffing and creative retorts. Maybe all the hardcore self-righteous but misguideds really did take their balls and go home after the “goddamn” commentroversy (which I just revisited last night and voted for in the poll!).

    I haven’t read the whole thing yet, but again, the day is young. How fun and how infinite are the possibilities of the imagination! If there is a supreme being responsible, well kudos to him/her for supplying tons of that as well! And kudos to you, Meg, for posting it. (And I do mean the yummy snack food!)

  42. J.Bo: Fuzzy harmony – I like it! The Wasteland – lolcat version – just so cool.

  43. Furbabies says:

    Wow! Much better than “Good News for the Modern Man” version. Makes more sense to me. Also, what kind of deity would send someone to hell for having humor AND who would want to worship said deity. Not me. Nuffers: don’t even bother to threaten me with hell, I don’t believe in it. However,I do believe in evil and you folks are the personification of evil. Holier than thou and just plain evil.

  44. garlicknots says:

    What in the world is LOL cats? I’m beginning to be thankful that I have no idea what you ppl are talking about…..

  45. garlicknots says:

    What in the world is LOL cats? I’m beginning to be thankful that I have no idea what you ppl are talking about…..

  46. metsakins says:

    Garlicknots – go to http://icanhascheezburger.com/

    and you shall learn. there are other sites, but that will get you going. (Welcome to the dark side)

    mwahahahahaha

  47. I discovered this a couple of weeks ago and spent a saturday reading it…Revelations is great, you should check it out. You get used to reading the lolcatspeak. There are many moments of genius in the lolcat bible! I especially like it that Ceiling Cat sits with seven kittehs by his throne.

  48. Check out the picture in Genesis 3, I maded it. :D

    That site made me extremely happy when I found it, so I am equally happy to see it recognized here.

    And KHA can has a sad and loenly life lawlz. Somebody needs some surpries buttsecks to lighten him up!!!

  49. only bibell i iz gonna reed.

  50. Anne Boleyn says:

    All good comments, but I like silent meow’s the best. What a joyful and sweet thing this is to read. Nothing mean spirited, nothing but silly fun. I believe everyone’s higher being wants us to smile and take a break from the harsh realities every now and then. Peace.

  51. It’s only fair that the bible be translated into LOLcat. How else will the missionaries bring the heathen kittehs to Jesus?

  52. yankeebird says:

    rn500, I’d ask that you not spread hate about my holy book in defense of yours. kthx

  53. LunaKitteh says:

    to the harsh comments about people of faith…meanspiritedness, u has it. lolcat Bible is very cute…. I think most of it would make God smile. He isn’t a hate filled nuffer.. He is love.

  54. Silent Meow says:

    hey-h,

    missionary: Kitteh, will you accept Jesus now as your personal Savior to avoid eternity in the burning stinky litter box?

    Kitteh: Meow. But, first, I needs me some tuna.

  55. Silent Meow -
    I was thinking, yknow, “I can haz piursnal sayver??!!11?”

  56. Silent Meow says:

    Maybe it should go more like this:
    Accept Jesus as your
    purr-sonal sayver so you can go to be with Ceiling Cat and lots of kittehs with white gowns and wings, and all the kitteh treats and tuna you can eat. And, you can avoid an eternity in the burning stinky litter box.

    I wish Sunday School when I was a kid was as much fun as this! LOL!

  57. Silent Meow says:

    And, hey-h, you can haz cheeseburgers AND tuna!!11! Both of dem and all you can eet fur all eeternitee!!11!!

    Jesus is vayry good. He iz wit Ceiling Cat. And, he givz tings to hiz good friend kittehs when dey go to deh big tuna bowl in de sky.

  58. This comment is for the masses.
    The cat has been seen its share of being revered to being an object of evil.
    I have broached the subject to the Christians, who think that, they will not cry over the loss of a cat. Let alone any animal.
    It is all about the people…you will go to Heaven. What about the animals?
    I leave this comment to the naysayers.

    Animals DO GO TO HEAVEN.
    They are part of GODS CREATION.

  59. Wow…I’m a Christian too…but I still think its hilarious…its not anything bad…like making fun of god or anything…its a cat version of the bible.

  60. Revelation 22:18-19

    18I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. 19And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.

  61. You guys sell your own holy book for a bit of “silly fun”. Don’t you have anything else to laugh about? Do you even know how many people died defending what they believe in – for you it’s just a bit of silly fun to make a mockery about it.

    Silent Meow, you actually have the audacity to say God will laugh his head off”. I mean think about it, you are saying that God has a head – no blasphemy there aye?

  62. zxc: Then many early Christians who translated the original Hebrew and Greek of the Old and New Testaments are now burning in hell? And those who translated it to English, German, Spanish, French, Italian, etc, etc? Because words get lost and altered in translation. Not to mention entire valid chunks cast aside when the Bible itself was being put together in the 4th and 5th centuries and labeled as ‘wrong’. Catch a grip.

    KHA: Mellow out and smoke a banana peel or something. Christians have been mocking themselves for a while now and no one has been struck down by lightening. And we can only percive and describe the divine by our own limitations, we have a head, it states in Genesis that we were made in ‘their’ image (generally interpretated as God and his angels), so therefore it’s perfectly logical to assume that God does have a head. And frankly, I think God’s been bouncing between laughing at us and crying over our mass misuse and misinterpretation of what he’s been trying to get across from us for who knows how long. God told us to spread the word, not kill those who chose not to listen, which has happened more times than the average historian can count on both hands and feet.

    Live. Love. Laugh. And life will be good.

  63. Cleen YoTeefah says:

    Okies, for the win.

  64. Screen name “Cleen YoTeefah” for the win.

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