Catsturbation

by Meg on December 19, 2007

You cannot come up with a funnier name for this post. Admit it. Look at that cat.

Whatsonspringer

Fabulous, Larry R.—you may have stopped the Internets with your kitteh Sleed here.

{ 137 comments }

1 Lisa 12.19.07 at 4:12 pm

Too freakin’ funny….

2 zosterops 12.19.07 at 4:14 pm

funny indeed

3 LauraK 12.19.07 at 4:14 pm

…and way cuter than Conan O’Brian’s bear.

4 HelenWheels 12.19.07 at 4:15 pm

I feel like a voyeur. *shuts eyes*

5 Too Late 12.19.07 at 4:15 pm

ROFL! Oh no you didn’t!!! HAHAHA!

6 DKN 12.19.07 at 4:16 pm

MEG! Oh noes!! My virgin EYES!

LMAO!!

7 Bird of Paradise 12.19.07 at 4:16 pm

Lyin’ on the couch, belleh protrudin’, scratchin’ his ‘nads. All he needs is a beer and a remote and he’ll be the picture of decadence.

8 HelenWheels 12.19.07 at 4:16 pm

I feel like a v0yeur. *shuts eyes*
(type pad won’t let me use the real word)

9 TamaraRose 12.19.07 at 4:17 pm

I just hope the poor little critter is declawed!

10 greenighs 12.19.07 at 4:18 pm

Modesty paw?

Wonder what he’s watching on TV there …

11 Too Late 12.19.07 at 4:18 pm

You just had to go there! ROFL! HA HA HA!

12 Mike 12.19.07 at 4:18 pm

How ’bout lamenting what’s missing… “Cats-tration”?

… or “Cat-astrophy”?

13 Mike 12.19.07 at 4:20 pm

How ’bout lamenting what’s missing… Cats-tration?

14 CuteBabyFix.com 12.19.07 at 4:21 pm

Meh- who cares about the dirty cat, The sofa/pillow combo: WANT.

15 chanpon 12.19.07 at 4:25 pm

LOL! My cats end up in this position every once in a blue moon and the same thought runs through my head. *blushes*

16 Erin 12.19.07 at 4:29 pm

The hovertext makes it. Take out the stylish couch and this picture is me six years ago.

17 Seven Paws 12.19.07 at 4:32 pm

Oh my.

18 weensicka 12.19.07 at 4:36 pm

HAHAHAHAHAA!!

I think I just snorted milk out of my nose.

Stheriously.

19 The Cindastardly 12.19.07 at 4:39 pm

This totally looks like a picture from a misguided design magazine.

20 Yubi Shines 12.19.07 at 4:40 pm

“Oh noes… sexual immorality! My oath!”
http://gnimmel.livejournal.com/92277.html

21 The Cindastardly 12.19.07 at 4:40 pm

This totally looks like a picture from a misguided design magazine.

22 metsakins 12.19.07 at 4:41 pm

I’m thinkin’

Modesty cat is modest myself.

Shame on all of you.

(tee hee)

23 Holy Cuteness 12.19.07 at 4:41 pm

Hahaha, you dirtbags! :-P

24 deanna 12.19.07 at 4:45 pm

naughty pussy!! [*giggles*]

25 Linda 12.19.07 at 4:46 pm

Haha, dirtbags…;-)

26 kate 12.19.07 at 4:51 pm

My Ajax sits just like this, and I laugh every time!

27 Hon Glad 12.19.07 at 4:57 pm

That’s simply placement of a modesty paw.

28 Jaffer 12.19.07 at 4:57 pm

This cat made my morning ! Made me laughed till I cried !

Then I laughed again …

29 berthaslave 12.19.07 at 5:05 pm

Kitteh is obviously a fan of Al Bundy.

http://www.aseclub.net/gallery/albums/album52/Al_Bundy.jpg

Okay, okay, and a really dirty joke I have to make, because I’m a guy and I think this way.

“Finally, a p***y that knows how to stroke itself.”

30 mom 12.19.07 at 5:11 pm

how am i going to explain the headline on this post to my school-age daughter?

31 charliewabba 12.19.07 at 5:11 pm

Oh, yes – I agree with the Hon Glad here – ’tis the modesty paw, in the tradition of centuries of paintings of nude ladies with the oh-so-discretely hidden private parts, head turned to one side, sly little smile with the “naked? moi?” look in the eyes.

32 luscher 12.19.07 at 5:15 pm

wow … talk about ”Cat Scratch Fever”!

33 greenighs 12.19.07 at 5:17 pm

I’m on ur couch,
playin’ wif my harbls

34 g r e e n i g h s 12.19.07 at 5:18 pm

I’m on ur couch,
playin’ wif my harbls

35 ThreeCatNight 12.19.07 at 5:19 pm

Meg, my comments aren’t spam, and I don’t know why TypePad’s filter has designated it as such. Correct the error.

36 nicole 12.19.07 at 5:21 pm

Aww…definitely modesty paw! My kittehs sit like this all the time when they get distracted mid-tummy washing. What a pretty tabby :)

37 g r e e n i g h s 12.19.07 at 5:27 pm

ThreeCat, I’m having the same trouble, that’s why my name has all the spaces. It’s the only way I got a post through. :(

38 Theresa 12.19.07 at 5:36 pm

Gasp! Won’t someone please think of the kittens?

39 Michelle 12.19.07 at 5:37 pm

hahaha! The expression on Sleed’s face is priceless.

My mom said my little niece was watching cute animal YouTubes when she looked away for a moment. When she looked back, there was catsturbation video playing. “What’s he doing?” heehee

40 Rocknrope 12.19.07 at 5:41 pm

Waiting for the wilting lillies to chime in about how “inappropriate” the subject line is. Sigh…..

41 Manda 12.19.07 at 5:42 pm

Maybe the spam error has something to do with the “common cold” virus that they’ve been dealing with. I’m sure they’ll fix it soon…
…and teh naughty kitty is funny. And intense (“He’s tryin to watch scramble-vision. Hee!)

42 bdwilcox 12.19.07 at 5:43 pm

Why does everyone automatically assume this cat’s a he? Women have been known to do it too, ya know…

43 anner 12.19.07 at 5:46 pm

a few years ago, boston’s Weekly Dig ran a bunch of hilarious faux ads based on the idea that stuff some people consider immoral results in Bad Things (i think it was on the heels of the “smoking pot supports terrorists” tv ads). one of them was “Masturbation Kills Kittens”. this cat is taking it to a whole new level…

44 Thor 12.19.07 at 5:49 pm

There is a ton of that kind of thing, there. Cat Macros. Also, you have no IDEA how much this site feeds that one.

45 jen 12.19.07 at 5:50 pm

he’s just being like “ahem, i’m covering up until you put the camera down.”

what a cute kitteh.

nice couch too – and pillow.

46 Thor 12.19.07 at 5:50 pm
47 Yitzysmommie 12.19.07 at 5:52 pm

My harbls- I haz dem.

48 Diana 12.19.07 at 5:56 pm

The funniest thing about this for me is that the kitty doesn’t even have parts! S/he’s scratching nothing!

49 marishka 12.19.07 at 5:59 pm

And the ”unsafe for young eyes” nuffers begin 3….2….1….now.

Pfft. Kitty is adorable no matter what (s)he’s doing!

50 tracyFlick 12.19.07 at 6:02 pm

Ew.

51 Alicia 12.19.07 at 6:09 pm

My male cat sits like that, as he’s cleaning his chest so his paw actually moves…in an odd way that makes me giggle everytime….poor cat lol

52 Berg 12.19.07 at 6:16 pm

Our Henry sits like that a lot. We always refer to it as “kitty porn.”

53 Steph 12.19.07 at 6:25 pm

I have video of my cat doing this. NO I didn’t take it on purpose – I just didn’t catch on to what he was actually doing until I was already filming.

54 Aoife 12.19.07 at 6:36 pm

The shelter I volunteer at has a cat that, um, has his way with himself on a regular basis. Some people get upset, consider it a moral (or immoral) issue, and make him stop. Most of us, though, don’t because we understand animals don’t have a concept of morality. All he knows is it feels good, so, what the heck, let him have a good time!

55 sleeping mommy 12.19.07 at 6:37 pm

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.

I’ve only caught one of my cats on camera like this. Alas the photo has gone missing. :(

56 E Jane 12.19.07 at 6:38 pm

This is not cute. I’m sorry for your display of poor taste.

57 anner 12.19.07 at 6:51 pm

lol yitzysmommie!

58 Lisa 12.19.07 at 7:13 pm

Hmmph. I’m sorry EJane doesn’t have a sense of humor.

59 Sarah 12.19.07 at 7:16 pm

I thought it might be a peptobismol ad. That or gas-x.

60 Lam 12.19.07 at 7:19 pm

Oh no! I did a presentation for my high school students, and I always close with a picture from your site and the address as something amusing. They always love it.

I’m afraid I’m going to lose my job when their parents see this! :o

61 Theresa 12.19.07 at 7:23 pm

Will somebody please think of the kittens?

62 T h r e e C a tN i g h t 12.19.07 at 7:29 pm

Well, these are the paws that refreshes!
(thanks,greenighs)

63 Ms. McPantiesInABunchnuff 12.19.07 at 7:56 pm

OMG! a cat with it’s paw on it’s unmentionables!! I’m callin the cops!! :O

64 Ms. McPantiesInABunchnuff 12.19.07 at 7:57 pm

Excuse me “its” and “its”.

65 anner 12.19.07 at 8:15 pm

Lisa – nice of E. Jane to apologize on meg’s behalf though. i’m sure it’s much appreciated! ;)

66 Annie 12.19.07 at 8:28 pm

Lam … High school kids parents have seen lots worse.. I doubt you will lose your job over this.

Mine are grown and one is about to graduate from college.

67 Berg 12.19.07 at 8:33 pm

My original post disappeared, apparently censored. :(

At any rate, what I said was:

Our cat Henry sits like that a lot. We refer to it as “kitty pourn.” (Remove the u from the last word and it’ll make sense.)

68 CB 12.19.07 at 8:37 pm

advice for “mom” above:

how to explain this headline to your daughter? honestly, that’s how. there’s no reason why you can’t talk to your kids about masturbation. It’s completely normal, natural, and healthy, and there’s nothing wrong with it.

69 Momof2kitties 12.19.07 at 9:05 pm

ACK!!!!! My eyz is burning! Make it stop!

Move that paw over a bit and you got yourself one heck of a belleh snorgle spot.

70 Melinda 12.19.07 at 9:08 pm

This is cute. How could it not be? Kitteh sitting like a hooman with Buddha belleh! Must rub belleh! Oh, and love the couch and pillow! Can I have?

71 Tim 12.19.07 at 9:16 pm

My friend’s cat had no tail and sat like this all the time. We used to set things next to her.. tv remotes.. stuffed animals.. She was hilarious. Aww.. memories of Millie.

72 Redzilla 12.19.07 at 9:28 pm

For folks who find masturbation “in bad taste,” you’re not doing it right o_0

(or you’re a lot more limber than most of us.)

73 Pheas 12.19.07 at 9:30 pm

Kitteh, watch out — you will get hairy palms. Ack, too late!

74 Caitlin 12.19.07 at 9:33 pm

LOLOLOL Redzilla! <3

“Ur doin it wrong!”

75 liz 12.19.07 at 9:35 pm

i think this kitteh is just totally “down with the homeys” [grabs crotchal-area in a gangsta kinda way]
he just a totally happ’nin kinda dude.

76 Mandi 12.19.07 at 9:44 pm

too cute! I find tv commercials more offensive (upgrade, anyone???), this cat is hilarious!

77 DLT 12.19.07 at 9:48 pm

berthaslave and redzilla, you are my idols.

this is a place where i can ask….what the hell are HARBLs, anyway??? i’ve been wondering about that one for months.

(i mean, i know what they are, but i don’t know what the kittin pidgin word is supposed to mean…get me?)

78 Manda 12.19.07 at 9:54 pm

LOL Redzilla and liz!!

79 Izzy 12.19.07 at 10:12 pm

This is sooo funny! And these comments are hilarious. (I think my fave is from Redzilla- about catsturbation being in poor taste…
And the modesty paw comments too- HA! Everyone is on their game today!

80 Lisa 12.19.07 at 10:15 pm

**snort**

“(or you’re a lot more limber than most of us”

Just read Redzilla’s comment. I’ll get over it and then start giggling all over again.

81 mom 12.19.07 at 10:16 pm

CB:

thanks! After I hit post, i realized she would probably be able to explain it to me…

82 Lisa 12.19.07 at 10:16 pm

Sigh. Getting tired of having to prove I’m not a robot.

Having said that, I’d like it noted that I have not gloated about my bleen. ;-)

83 Lisa 12.19.07 at 10:16 pm

Sigh. Getting tired of having to prove I’m not a robot.

Having said that, I’d like it noted that I have not gloated about my bleen. ;-)

84 Eaglie 12.19.07 at 10:17 pm

Definitely looking for this on icanhascheezburger.com in a few days.

85 Amanda 12.19.07 at 10:42 pm

“Masturbation Kills Kittens”

Heh~was an actual ad campaign for Triple-X Church(a Christian group for people addiction to porn). It always makes me laugh.

This cat is too cute~my Charlie does that, only she doesn’t have the big ole belleh to top it all off!

86 Eunice and Ivy 12.19.07 at 10:53 pm

It should be named Conctapation
lol

87 yankeebird 12.19.07 at 11:05 pm

I hate to be the one that kills it, but I did notice that when I looked at this post it had 69 comments.

Sometimes, I have such a dirty mind.

88 Yubi Shines 12.19.07 at 11:06 pm

Redzilla, you win one (1) caternets.

89 Joanna 12.19.07 at 11:09 pm

Oh! This is lovingly referred to in my house as “the bubbah”…My Ella does this all the time!! :)

90 taj 12.19.07 at 11:16 pm

This looks like it should be an Ikea ad. Those Swedes are always a bit on the risqué side ;)

case in point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8mE8Rxk_Rg

(possibly NSFW?)

91 Khonsu 12.19.07 at 11:29 pm

Hey, cats are allowed to go around without clothes. Of course they masturbate. Honestly, I’ve never seen anyone (human or otherwise) who didn’t masturbate unless there were weird emotional issues.

Cats + masturbation = comedy gold. Lots of “taboos,” when cats are added in, are even funnier than they were before. Imagine a stereotypically gay male cat. I know *I’m* laughing.

92 Pearl Ostroff 12.20.07 at 12:08 am

Thanks for the laughs. I actually laughed out loud at the comments. Needed that.

The cat is adorable. I’ve seen cats do this. Heck, I’ve had two cats try to mate on my feet, under the kitchen table. The male was too young, though willing, and didn’t know quite what to do and the whole thing failed. I was quite young at the time and didn’t know that neutering was important.

Pearl

93 circuscake 12.20.07 at 12:31 am

so, if God kills a kitten every time we masturbate, does that mean He kills a human baby every time a cat does it?

really- how does that work?

94 Diana 12.20.07 at 12:54 am

Interesting question circuscake. Maybe he kills a puppy when a cat does it.

95 bdwilcox 12.20.07 at 1:01 am
96 Ms. McPantiesInABunchnuff 12.20.07 at 1:10 am

I used to work for a Master Bates….he was a spoiled brat I tell you! :O

97 Billybob 12.20.07 at 1:38 am

It’s going to be the goddamn bathroom thread all over again.

98 Silent Meow 12.20.07 at 1:52 am

Sleed kitteh is probably imitating what he/she is watching on TV.

What IS that cat watching?! Kitty porn? LOL!

99 CheshireCat 12.20.07 at 4:04 am

Kitteh + toilet paper= cute
kitteh + pasta pot= cute
Kitteh + masturbation= cute
Kitteh + anything= CUTE!
I wish I was a kitteh.

100 k 12.20.07 at 4:27 am

hee-larious. my college roommate’s cat [TMI warning for the squeamish among us] used to have a favorite blanket that he like to, uh….hump Yup. He would go weeks without doing it, and then have periodic OCD-like phases where he had to do it many, many times each day. Most disturbingly, if you walked in on him, which was often since the living room was his preferred setting, he would keep at his business while staring at you in a most matter-of-fact manner. So disturbing, yet so, so entertaining.

101 Fave 12.20.07 at 5:09 am

Too, too cute. Loving the comments.

102 Liz 12.20.07 at 5:37 am

I love the hover text.

103 Carrie 12.20.07 at 5:38 am
104 Carrie 12.20.07 at 5:48 am
105 Subhangi 12.20.07 at 5:55 am

Am I the only one who thinks this kitty seems to have a longer face than most cats? A different kind of kitteh? Or is it the camera angle? Maybe the owner will clear it up.

[puts on cat-geek glasses]

106 Jen Barnett 12.20.07 at 6:51 am

Look moms & teachers, your perfect segue into one way to avoid teen pregnancy, courtesy of CO.com.

107 acelightning 12.20.07 at 11:14 am

CEILING CAT IZ WATCHIN U MASTURBATE
;-)

108 Pheasance 12.20.07 at 12:40 pm

Kitteh, watch out — that can give you hairy palms.

Ack, too late!

109 Animallover 12.20.07 at 2:03 pm

That is too cute:)

110 Michelle 12.20.07 at 2:20 pm

The comments on this pic have made my day.

I am always astonished at how many people in this day and age are disturbed by the idea of masturbation. I actually know several people who proudly claim they’ve never even tried it.

mmhm. wink. nudge.

111 Yitzysmommie 12.20.07 at 3:08 pm

Dear DLT:
http://lolpresident.com/category/harbls/
Go to icanhascheezburger & search harbls. Or Google harbls for many minutes of laughs….

112 e-beth 12.20.07 at 3:26 pm

Well, see, it’s stuff like this and “cats & racks” that keep me from e-mailing everyone I know the link to cuteoverload. Looooove 95% of the site. The other 5% ick & not cute.

113 Bob 12.20.07 at 3:56 pm

Another stupid title which should be kept from anything relating to cute. The idea is just revolting.

114 E-beth v2.0 (upgrade) 12.20.07 at 4:21 pm

I couldn’t let the last comments on this page be such jerky ones. Meg’s a genius, and has outdone herself in the hilarity department this time! I wonder what the people posting mean comments hope to accomplish…

CuteOverload for president!!!

115 Ms. McPantiesInABunchnuff 12.20.07 at 4:53 pm

The mean people = “straw people”.

You know…the kind you could stick a straw in their ear, blow…and the air would just woosh right out the other side! :D

116 Rdhwyalane 12.20.07 at 5:05 pm

It would have been even funnier if someone had slipped a cat calender or magazine under his paw before they snapped the pic.

117 Bob 12.20.07 at 5:51 pm

This post is one of the worst on the website.

118 Carrie 12.20.07 at 8:38 pm
119 Yitzysmommie 12.20.07 at 8:51 pm

Ya know, grouches, mebbe if you performed a little of the same act as Sleed here you’d be less grouchy.
jest a thot, yaknow?

120 Cerise 12.20.07 at 9:36 pm

Quite right, Yitzysmommie. [stage whisper] In case you didn’t get it, she thinks you should stroke your kitty more. Or spank your monkey. Choke your chicken. Et cetera.

121 Ms. McPantiesInABunchnuff 12.21.07 at 1:21 am

Oh Bob! don’t be silly…your post isn’t the worst on the site! :D

122 Vincy 12.21.07 at 1:36 am

ok, kids hear worse at school. And if they ask questions, answer them!

Oh and as for the cats n racks…babies see NAKED (*gasp* oh noes!) breasts all the time and we don’t seem to think it immoral.

CnR are CLOTHED ones.

And Catsturbation is hilarious! (most kids would probably just think it was a cute made up word…seriously. Making a big deal out of it makes it more important than it really is)

123 catablob 12.21.07 at 3:53 am

This is hilarious.

Also, after you clean up whatever just came out your nose, do notice that kitteh is very beautiful, with such a nice soft tummy and very pretty markingks.

124 Bob 12.21.07 at 4:49 am

You all need to figure out what is bad taste and what is not. It is not just me. Sometimes Cute Overload delivers and sometimes it delivers crap.

125 thomas 12.21.07 at 4:53 am

i agree with the “grumpy” person because i want to be able to let my children see this site and the “adult” humor is just not appropriate…and i really don’t think its funny. i usually LOVE the ingeniusness, (did i spell that right?), of this site!….so there!

126 Pruelaroo 12.21.07 at 5:09 am

Not appropriate for what, Thomas? This site doesn’t advertise itself as a children’s site, nor was it designed to be one, so you really don’t have cause for complaint.

And if your child has never seen anyone put their hand on their crotch for any reason, and if you never teach them about masturbation, maybe YOU’RE the one who’s doing it wrong?

That said. Hilarious post. It’s good to see something funny and a little bit adult around here sometimes. Makes my day to have a giggle at work :)

127 FYI 12.21.07 at 5:59 am

Cats actually do masturbate. Do a search on YouTube and you’ll find an astonishing variety of proof. I never believed it myself until I saw it.

128 yankeebird 12.21.07 at 6:12 am

Bob, I don’t think we were aware you were in charge of the Department Of Determining What Is In Bad Taste And What As Not. Our apologies for thinking we could decide for ourselves.

129 cosmiquemuffin 12.21.07 at 2:33 pm

Personally, I don’t have a problem with even kids seeing posts like this — it doesn’t really show anything “indecent” and neither to “Cats & Racks”. Honestly people — the Europeans are laughing their butts off at us American Puritans.

That being said, maybe there is an opportunity for Meg to cater (and monetize) to the squeamish by having a pre-filtered cuteforkids.com that is basically the same stuff but with any controversial posts left out, and no link to the comments (which are hard to control)? It might be easy to do with a simple label/filter and redirect.

130 Jo 12.21.07 at 6:31 pm

Who made the rule that everything has to be “kid friendly”? I was laughing at the caption for good five minutes… :)

If you think it delivers crap, easy answer – don’t visit anymore! I myself love this place.

131 mon0zuki 12.21.07 at 8:08 pm

Meg, you’re right, there IS no better title for that picture.

You win~!

132 Cerise 12.21.07 at 8:16 pm

You heard it here first, folks. Sometimes Cute Overload delivers crap! [gapes in horror]

I wonder, since I’m newish…has anyone sent Meg-moos any pictures of animals defecating? We could call it Cats ‘n Crap. Sound good?

Bob, Thomas: penis! vaGIna! breast! bong! assault rifle!

133 arikata 12.22.07 at 5:17 am

eep! such a silly kitty…

this brings up the question….does every time you casturbate does god kill a human?

egags! we need tiny kitten priests to stop this maaaadness!

134 berthaslave 12.23.07 at 8:55 am

Jiminy. People.

If your child asks “What’s ‘catsturbation’ mean?” and you don’t want to explain, just say it’s a funny word meaning scratching an itch. Kitteh is just scratching himself.

This message is not approved by Bob, the man who knows what is bad taste and what is not and then lords it over the rest of us because clearly we don’t see it the way he does and he knows what is worthwhile and what is crap because he ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil like the serpent told him to because he wants to be like God.

135 Cafe Alpha 12.23.07 at 11:32 am

Amazing.

Rule 34 finally catches up with cute overload!

136 Brandy 12.25.07 at 6:33 pm

The Best!!

137 LisaLisa 12.26.07 at 6:57 pm

Hahahahahaha….after having died from laughter all I have to say is

Should we REALLY be seeing this private moment?

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