UNLEASH HELL!

by Meg on November 8, 2007

[Door swings open]

OMG, we are DOOMED! Doomed I tell you!!!

Unleashed

Jorden C., what hath ye wrot upon us!? (er, something)

{ 99 comments }

1 A thinker 11.08.07 at 4:46 pm

I Want One.

2 spikedcolor 11.08.07 at 4:47 pm

Flingflang bleen biscuits?

No, not a Box of Kitten?!…

3 JediPirate 11.08.07 at 4:48 pm

Eeeeek! Run for thou life! Teh cute floofiness shall devour our souls!

…or some such.

4 Andrea|Nash 11.08.07 at 4:49 pm

I don’t think these guys want to be released in the wild.:-)

5 lalababy 11.08.07 at 4:50 pm

Hmmm…I can’t decide if these are little devils or little angels being unleashed upon us. If they are like my kitties, they are a mixture of both!

6 riolinda 11.08.07 at 4:52 pm

Awww…. I want a crate of kittens! :)

7 SarahP 11.08.07 at 4:53 pm

Does every garden come fitted with one of these? *hopes*

8 wolverine librarian 11.08.07 at 4:56 pm

Squeek! ’splode ded!

R.I.P. Wolverine Librarian death by cuteness

9 Alicia 11.08.07 at 4:57 pm

I love how the one in the back is looking right at the camera. I think he is about to shoot lasers out his eyes. Very serious.

10 luvinmalssomuch 11.08.07 at 4:57 pm

Little guy in the back isn’t going anywhere he’s just going to kick them all out and then shut the door.
Hope their parachutes work.

11 frappygoddess 11.08.07 at 4:58 pm

Cry havoc and let slip the kittehs of war!

12 Hon Glad 11.08.07 at 4:58 pm

Our mission is:- WORLD DOMINATION, we will cutify the world and play with kitting wool.

13 boomer 11.08.07 at 5:05 pm

Killer cuteness is on the loose!

14 liz 11.08.07 at 5:07 pm

there are no lil kittens in my back yard.
where can i order me a litter?

15 luvinmalssomuch 11.08.07 at 5:11 pm

Actually these are mine.
The Miracle Grow worked. I guess I overdid it alittle and poured the whole box in the couch and pooooof.

16 Theo 11.08.07 at 5:16 pm
17 Yitzysmommie 11.08.07 at 5:16 pm

SQUEEE! I wish I was there playing with the adorable kittings. I count 5.
I’m tired of my job, & someone asked me what would be my ideal job. My considered response was playing with and caring for tiny kittens. Somehow, I doubt the large hospital system that employs me has any openings for kitten snorglers.

18 Kar 11.08.07 at 5:16 pm

On a slightly more serious note, what’s going on? They don’t seem to be a feral release program as their ears don’t appear to be notched.

Is this just a lazy backyard afternoon? Cuz it’s going to be a hassle getting ‘em back in there.

19 Metz 11.08.07 at 5:19 pm

When faced with this kind of threat there is only one thing to do:
STOP!
DROP!
&
SNORGLE!
ok technically 3 things but well . . . oh nevermind. (Snorgling now)

20 AuntieMame 11.08.07 at 5:23 pm

I love Dorothy Parker!

Until she starts dissing Pooh…
[she *did* tend to spank her inner child, didn't she? - Ed.]

And frappygoddess beat me to it. I was gonna say “Cry havoc and let slip the kittehs of war”!

21 Michelle 11.08.07 at 5:24 pm

Run for your lives! The marm in the back has spotted us!

22 Theo 11.08.07 at 5:31 pm

That’s OK; you go ahead. I am resigned to my fate. ;-)

23 Nicolletta 11.08.07 at 5:35 pm

Be careful. Those kitties might purr us to death. ;P

24 Jennifer 11.08.07 at 5:40 pm

Awww… now I want to go back to the rescue shelter I worked at this weekend, snatch up kitties, find a safe enclosed but outdoor space, and roll in the purrs.

25 SixFootJen 11.08.07 at 5:46 pm

“Wrought.”

26 Kiragirl 11.08.07 at 5:48 pm

5 little kittehs sittin in a box,
1 ran out and the others ate lox.
4 little kittehs wanting to go,
1 ran out and the others said “Wo.”
3 little kittehs peered around the gate,
1 ran out and the others said “wait.”
2 little kittehs hiding in the back,
1 ran out and the other said “AAACK.”
1 little kitteh all covered in fur,
stepped out daintily and just said “puuuurrrr.”

Thank you, thank you, [applause]

27 LuvBJones 11.08.07 at 5:50 pm

Clearly, the marmie is the ringleader.

28 Helen 11.08.07 at 5:57 pm

awww I love the look on the orange one’s face in the background. He’s all “what are we waiting for?!”

29 ThreeCatNight 11.08.07 at 6:04 pm

It’s the Attack of the Killer Kittehs!
“They will leek and snorgle you to pieces, if you are not careful, my friend!”
(to be said in a Peter Lorre voice)

30 Maimes 11.08.07 at 6:07 pm

The poor little guy in the front is all like
“we ACTUALLY have to go out THERE?! I dont know about this guys”

31 metsakins 11.08.07 at 6:08 pm

*applause for Kira*

and the orange one clearly has world dominayshun on his mind

32 Aubrey 11.08.07 at 6:11 pm

Woe! It is the endtime! Look and behold:

The Four Kittehs Of The A-Paw-calypse!

33 anonymous 11.08.07 at 6:12 pm

So…it is November already…when do we get an autumnal background screen?

Hurry, Meg, hurry…before it is Christmas!!!

34 luvinmalssomuch 11.08.07 at 6:13 pm

OOOOOEEEEEOOOOO
CATS FROM OUTERSPACE

35 liz 11.08.07 at 6:22 pm

I love taking the kittehs for their first time outside. they lift their feets WAY up cuz the grass is ticklie, and are SO extremely cautious.
then ten minutes later they’re sprinting side-ways with their tails all up in the air!
hilarious!

hey luvins! glad to hear the MG worked on yer couch! ;)

36 jen 11.08.07 at 6:27 pm

feline ambivalence. a rare sighting.

totally adorables. eep!

37 fish eye no miko 11.08.07 at 6:30 pm

Run! Save yourselves! I’ll hold them off!

38 ooh aah hmm 11.08.07 at 6:34 pm

how do you even round those hellhounds (helltabbies?) back up!

(no, seriously, i’m asking. i’d love to take my cat some place far from cars and let him run free for a couple hours, but i worry about how long it would take to get him back.)

39 RJ 11.08.07 at 6:35 pm

Reminds me of two things:

1. The time we discovered that the front door didn’t close properly. When I woke up in the a.m., the door was open and all 4 indoor kittehs were sitting bolt-upright *inside*, arranged in a semi-circle, looking out as if they were watching TV.

2. The caption brings to mind how, when we have dinner parties, the kittehs are put in “their” room. When the last bit of food is put away, my hubs or I will signal the other with a great cry of “Let Loose the Cats of War!”

BTW – Kiragirl – LUFFED the rhyme! Brava!

40 Decca 11.08.07 at 6:37 pm

You guys run. I’ll throw myself in front of them to save you. No, really. I don’t mind. I’ll make the sacrifice.

41 Theo 11.08.07 at 6:40 pm

Way ahead of you, Decca. Take a number.
;)

42 lurkingsmirk 11.08.07 at 6:42 pm

I think this kind of looks like a studio pic with a set made up to look like someone’s backyard–but I may be wrong.

43 Annie 11.08.07 at 6:44 pm

Who let the cats out
Who whowho
Who let the cats out
WHo who who

THere now I feel better got my earworm outta my ear.

Kira Cla[ calpp Brava. Very nice Poem. : )

44 kayte 11.08.07 at 6:46 pm

Gregory Peck and David Warner crouch over a lonley grave in the dark Italian cemetery. They hear a noise in the distance. It gets closer and closer. Suddenly, a cacophony of mew-mew-mews fill the air. Gamboling paws pat-pat their way through grass. The men run, barely ahead of the pack, over the gate, just out of the reach of the pack of kittens, their paws kneading the ground, their stubby, kitty tails waving in the air behind them, their teensy pink sandpaper tongues hanging out, ready to lick intruders clean. The Darkness encroaches.

45 berthaslave 11.08.07 at 6:48 pm

Kiragirl, that rocked. Here’s mine, with apologies to the Deadheads:

Look out of any window, any morning, any evening any day.
Mebbe the sun is shining,
Birds are winging or a rain is falling from a heavy sky.

What do you want me to do,
To do for you,
While you are sleepings?
Well, please don’t be surprised when you find me dreaming too.

A box of kittehs will ease the pain and love will see you through….

Just a box of kittehs,
Staring at you,
Believe it if you need it,
If you don’t just pass them on.

Sunbeam showers,
Snorgle trains,
In and out your windows like a moth before a flame.

And it’s just a box of kittehs,
I don’t know who put ‘em there.
Believe it if you need it.
Or leave it if you dare!

And it’s just a box of kittehs,
They will play “tag” with your hair,
Such a long long time to be gone,
But a prosh time to be there!

46 RJ 11.08.07 at 6:58 pm

bertah: What WAS that?

47 metsakins 11.08.07 at 7:03 pm

ooh aah hmm – you can’t. you can harness him and let him on a run. but letting a cat run loose in a strange place is not a good idea.

48 Allison 11.08.07 at 7:06 pm

Hahaha! I love how the caption is all, “They are fierce!” but the kittehs are all, “We are kinda concerned.”

I also love the muzzlepowsche of the kitteh on the far right.

49 metsakins 11.08.07 at 7:18 pm

berthaslave – nice job :)

50 Michelle 11.08.07 at 7:21 pm

Posted by: kayte

Awesome!

51 luvinmalssomuch 11.08.07 at 7:22 pm

Great Job Berthaslave and Decca what a sacrifice to make for your CO Friends.
Hey there Liz the miracle of the grow was also the touch of sugar and spice that makes these little kittehs so nice.

52 Kiragirl 11.08.07 at 7:36 pm

Berthaslave,
Way
To
Go!
Purrrfectly done.

53 Mary (the first) 11.08.07 at 7:36 pm

It looks like there’s one in the back up on hind legs looking out the “window” (air hole). I’m sure they’ll step out any second and then .. watch out! cute on the loose!

54 Tony James 11.08.07 at 7:51 pm

(From Shakespeare’s edits to Julius Caesar)

ANTHONY
Blood and destruction shall be so in use
And dreadful objects so familiar
That mothers shall but smile when they behold
Their infants quarter’d with the hands of war;
All pity choked with custom of fell deeds:
And Caesar’s spirit, ranging for revenge,
With Ate by his side come hot from hell,
Shall in these confines with a monarch’s voice
Cry ‘Havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of war;

A PAGE
Let slip what, sire?

ANTHONY
The dogs of war, man! You know, the ones we keep in the kennels round the back of the forum? Great huge hulking brutes with spiked collars?

A PAGE
Um…yeah, that’s what I thought you said. Only there was a bit of a mix up in Purchasing and…well, you’d better come and have a look for yourself?

(PAGE points to carry-crate on lawn)

ANTHONY
What in the name of Jupiter is this?

A PAGE
They’re baby cats, sire.

ANTHONY
I can see that, puddingbrains! What I mean is, where the Hades are the dogs of war I ordered specifically for this occassion? I can’t inspire the massed armies of Rome with these! What am I supposed to say? “Let slip the kittens of consternation? The tabbies of turbulence?”

A PAGE
Well, there’s an orange one in there too. Maybe you could let slip the marmies of misfortune?

ANTHONY
You know you’ve ruined my whole bit, don’t you? You’re for the high jump, my lad.

[This manusccript was recently found among the papers of the British Museum's Shakespeare's collection, along with en early edition of MacBeth that suggests that Lady M's lamentation of "Out out damned spot" was actually directed at her cow-kitty who had jumped up on the dressing table and got her makeup everywhere.]

55 snorgler 11.08.07 at 8:02 pm

Pure brilliance, Tony!

56 luvinmalssomuch 11.08.07 at 8:05 pm

Look look everyone it’s Tony James.

57 bugmom 11.08.07 at 8:27 pm

I am very truly frightened! I believe teh marmie has seen me through the interwebs and has deemed me an unworthy soul……I knew they were teh poysins!!!!!!

::runs away while looking over shoulder for the evil marmie::

::trips over an otter havin’ a beer with a skwerrel::

Oh, S**t. There goes the planet.

58 berthaslave 11.08.07 at 8:27 pm

Well met, Mr. James!!!! The Bard (or should I say the Earl of Oxford) would be most proud!!

FYI, my previous post is a rewriting/butchering of the song “Box of Rain.” http://arts.ucsc.edu/Gdead/AGDL/box.html

59 bugmom 11.08.07 at 8:29 pm

Berthaslave & Kiragirl, I bow down to you and your poetic powers.

60 Holly 11.08.07 at 8:44 pm

Excellent commentary. :)

61 Metz 11.08.07 at 8:54 pm

OMG you guys! FRAKING HYSTERICAL.
I am laughing so hard right now the kitties are running away and hiding back in their carrier.

The poeyms, the songs…
The lost Shakespear papers…OMG Brilliance!

62 MizSR 11.08.07 at 9:01 pm

By the by, this is the best way to get kittehs if your roommates are not agreeing. I wanted a kitteh or two, but the roommates wanted none. So I brought home 6. By the time we had only 2 left, they were both relieved and smitten, so we kept them. Not even the meanest meanie ever can say no to 6 balls of fluff in a box.

63 Theresa 11.08.07 at 9:09 pm

Eeek! Kittehs! eeeeeeek! Toneh James!

64 TexIrishRose 11.08.07 at 9:12 pm

Crazee orange kitteh in the back is staring right at meh. Oh no! He’s gonna snorgle me to def…what sweet torture!

65 metsakins 11.08.07 at 9:12 pm

U guyz r silleh!

66 Theo 11.08.07 at 9:17 pm

Tony James! Tony James!
Kickin’ arse and takin’ names!

67 Momof2kitties 11.08.07 at 9:22 pm

If this is the way I must go, then so be it. I am resigned to my fate. Bring it on.

PS LOVE the Shakespeare!

68 Kiragirl 11.08.07 at 9:24 pm

Yo, bugmom, did you know an otter can open a bottle of beer with a rock?

69 luvinmalssomuch 11.08.07 at 9:25 pm

I’m Only A Cat

I’m only a cat,
and I stay in my place…
Up there on your chair,
on your bed or your face!

I’m only a cat,
and I don’t finick much…
I’m happy with cream
and anchovies and such!

I’m only a cat,
and we’ll get along fine…
As long as you know
I’m not yours… you’re all mine!

70 Kiragirl 11.08.07 at 9:25 pm

who let the dogs-of-war out
myoo myoo myoo

71 Kiragirl 11.08.07 at 9:27 pm

I think Tony James wiped the floor with us.

72 bugmom 11.08.07 at 9:32 pm

Kiragirl,
That happy little factoid shall haunt my dreams for the rest of my days….which are apparently numbered! o_O

73 metsakins 11.08.07 at 9:33 pm

otters and skwerrells and marmies

oh my!

74 luvinmalssomuch 11.08.07 at 9:34 pm

Alright alright so Tony James wiped the floor with us but are we just going to lie there helpless?
We have sustained without him before we can do it again. I say Rise up off the floor, but before you do could you clean under the table also. Ummmm thanks

75 Arachnophile_grrl 11.08.07 at 9:38 pm

Okay, I’m laughing my ‘tocks off over here! You guys slay me.

76 Kiragirl 11.08.07 at 9:50 pm

[searching for dust bunnies]
ya wanted me to do WHAT?
lata’, it’s 5:00 miller time

77 Juniper Jupiter 11.08.07 at 10:07 pm

…kind readers…today Juniper’s not here on this thread; she’s decided to sneak up to the carrier and latch the door closed ever so quietly and snatch the carrier away, laughing maniacally like Snidely Whiplash…no apologies to anyone wanting a kitten…ya snooze, ya lose!!! MUHUAUWHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!…

***Twitches imaginary mustache with glee***

78 Bryce 11.08.07 at 10:21 pm

All will know that 4 adorable kittens stood here this day! To defend cuteness!

79 mitchell 11.08.07 at 11:06 pm

Man, if you think this photo is dangerous to our health and the dominance of the human race, check out these two videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPKu-ib5OXc&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FnUTQMJVXI

80 Addis 11.08.07 at 11:16 pm

Tell Domokun to watch out !!!

81 redbond 11.08.07 at 11:45 pm

Dangit, frappygoddess, that’s what I came here to say. ;D I’m gonna do it anyway.

“Cry HAVOC!… and let slip the kittens of war!”

82 DLT 11.09.07 at 12:08 am

kayte: PERFECT!!!!!! well done.

mitchell: that second video is, indeed, life-threatening.

83 joools 11.09.07 at 12:30 am

Thanks for the earworm, berthaslave, but I like that song better your way!

84 lurkertype 11.09.07 at 1:32 am

Tony James pwns us all, again.

He’s like some superhero of funny, swoops in, expounds something and we’re all “who WAS that masked man?”

Marmie is going to BOING right over the uncertain one and head straight for world domination.

85 Aunty-G 11.09.07 at 3:02 am

Tony James, you’ve brought a tear to me eye. And please, someone, count the toes and tell me there are only 4 each per front paw. Especially the Marmie one. We’re dooommmed.

86 Jorden 11.09.07 at 3:18 am

Awww! These are our foster kittens: Button & Bunny, Happy & Honey, and Hopper. They are probably the sweetest litter we have ever had (if you just LOOK at them they start purring at top volume)and we wish we could keep all five. The open door was just for the photo-they did not actually get out so everyone is safe.

87 elbowgeek 11.09.07 at 5:19 am

ooh aah hmm:

I had a French chef girlfriend who had a cat which she’d stuff in her jacket (the cat loved this apparently) and ride to a nature reserve. She’d let it loose as she’d walk through the trees and seashore and the cat would follow, weaving in and out of the underbrush.

The cat would then come back to her when it was time to leave. Amazing really. Mostly for the fact that a French woman actually liked cats *grin*.

88 ka9q's wife 11.09.07 at 5:34 am

of course the Marmie is the ringleader. Don’t you know that marmies really mess you up?
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Kitten_Huffing

89 Hon Glad 11.09.07 at 7:22 am

Methinks T. James has a lean and hungry look.

90 acelightning 11.09.07 at 10:51 am

No, no, no – it’s
“Cry ‘Mew’, and let slip the kittens of war!”

91 Eater of Shades 11.09.07 at 3:14 pm

UNLEEEEEEASH THEEE KITTENS!!!!

…mew?

92 chanpon 11.09.07 at 3:49 pm

*VROOOM*

That’s the sound of me speeding away with the crate of kitties loaded into my car.

93 Kar 11.09.07 at 7:02 pm

Jordan, I’ll be more than happy to kitten-sit!

94 Danielle 11.09.07 at 7:58 pm

Is that what was in Pandora’s box??!

95 ka9q's wife 11.09.07 at 9:50 pm

OMG Danielle you might be right! At the bottom of the box after all the trouble had escaped was Hope.

Unfortunately kittehs are hope and trouble in one super-cute package.

Wanders off jonesing for a marmeh kitteh.

96 Zoe 11.10.07 at 5:43 am

never know hell was so frikin cute

97 Subhangi 11.10.07 at 9:12 am

WANT.

98 Kimbunny 11.10.07 at 10:48 am

It’s “300″ the movie, but with kittehs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6JmAaI1dGE

99 lauowolf 11.11.07 at 5:56 am

Oh TJ, your little mews are working overtime.

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