Deep brefs, People, this ham is jusssst sleeping soundly according to Sender-Inner Erin Y. She named her ham "Tooty" presumably after the only other Tootie on the planet, the one from The Facts of Life. Maybe that name made him fall over [wiggling all four paws ehn! ehn! ehn!]
Erin Y., How about "Pants McHammersons" or "Señor McShavings"—something! Anything is better than Tooty, come on.