Give it up for The Onion, People

by Meg on September 7, 2007

People, the Onion is puurrrrrre genius. Please check out two kitteh-related stories;

Story #1:
Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day

[Read more]

Murderrrrr

and

Story #2:

"War on String May Be Unwinnable, says Cat General"

[See original post]

General_mccattersons

Side note: "Bonkers" is the best cat name evar. ‘Cause then you can call him "Bonkie." Right Emily G.?

{ 47 comments }

1 littleturkeylegsmom 09.07.07 at 6:21 pm

BLOOOOOOLYFLINGLE! First time Poster!

I KNEW my kitties had murder on their minds–all that snuggling’s just an act, I tells ya!

2 JediPirate 09.07.07 at 6:22 pm

Oh, that kitten could suck your soul out with it’s eyes. Cute, but bleenin’ deadly

3 JediPirate 09.07.07 at 6:22 pm

…darn. Seconds too late. =P

Oh well. He’s still cute but deadly.

4 Theo 09.07.07 at 6:26 pm

[looks left]
[looks right]
[swooshes away mysteriously]

5 JazzKate 09.07.07 at 6:32 pm

Nice work Theo.

6 Subhangi 09.07.07 at 6:33 pm

Hmm … The Onion rings a bell … ;)

7 Theo 09.07.07 at 6:33 pm

[snert!]

8 Annie 09.07.07 at 6:34 pm

Ummm turkeys mom blooolyflingle??? …. Choking on my laughter here. or were you Theo[ED]

Welcome to your new addiction… posting on CO ; )

9 Meg Q 09.07.07 at 6:36 pm

*Where* did they get that kitty military uniform? Uhdorable!

10 Theo 09.07.07 at 6:36 pm

[whistles in-no-cently]

11 Kritter 09.07.07 at 6:37 pm

We had an orange tiger with a larger-than-life personality. His actual name was Brendan, but he was also known as Brennie, Bonkers, Billy Bonks, Chunky Cheese, the Cheeser, etc. It is a great name.

12 Theo 09.07.07 at 6:37 pm

Meg Q — I think they stock plenty of that pic in the photo shop.

13 bunsandchouchou 09.07.07 at 6:39 pm

If Kittens think about murder all day, you know the stuff going through a rabbit’s head is even more sinister.

14 redsrevenge 09.07.07 at 6:40 pm

Haha, my mother’s has had the General Bonkers one on the fridge forever :3

15 Annie 09.07.07 at 6:43 pm

OMG Check this pudding related news Item in the Onion Magazine.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37479

Obviously the Commentroversys of late on CO are creating a pudding shortage.

16 metsakins 09.07.07 at 6:48 pm

thank g-d there’s still no price raise on butterscotch!

17 Theo 09.07.07 at 6:52 pm

But… but that Onion blurb about puddins is from July 27, 2005! CO didn’t publish its first post until two months later! How can this be??

18 Theo 09.07.07 at 6:55 pm

…oh, and our first pudding “fight” wasn’t until almost a YEAR after the article.
http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/07/someone_call_ch.html#comment-19337169

;)

19 DejaMew (tx-usa) 09.07.07 at 7:07 pm

Is there really an article to read about the kitten thinking of murder all day? I only got to see a picture and no story. :(

20 Theo 09.07.07 at 7:17 pm

DejaMew — nope, that one was just a visual one-liner. The Onion does that a lot.

21 Theo 09.07.07 at 7:17 pm

(you can get it on a T-shirt, though)

22 DejaMew (tx-usa) 09.07.07 at 7:20 pm

I say the kitten has been framed! (thx Theo) :)

23 pinenut 09.07.07 at 7:45 pm

i love the onion! HA!

24 Kar 09.07.07 at 7:46 pm

The Onion is genius. Especially as they’re the only ones who are willing to tell the truth.

25 NotSupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork 09.07.07 at 7:53 pm

Oh, The Onion! I remember these 2 items. Laughed me bum off, I did. Murderous little fluffball of cuteness! lolz!

26 Allison 09.07.07 at 7:56 pm

Haha! I love that he is called “Gen. Bonkers”!!

27 NotSupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork 09.07.07 at 7:56 pm

A little off topic, but this is probably my favorite Onion article ever:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43009

though it is about snack foods, and pudding is a snack food…

The murder death kitten comes on a t-shirt!? fantastic!!

28 denise 09.07.07 at 8:00 pm

yeah, i have the murder kitty on a tshirt. pretty much makes my days at work when i wear it.

29 Cassandra 09.07.07 at 8:01 pm

Good grief folks, the Onion and CO all at once? My head may very well explode from the sheer radness! And I haven’t even mentioned the blooolyflingle! Ye are hillarious people ye are…

30 NYgirly 09.07.07 at 8:11 pm

meggy’s trying to make me tink it’s Caturday already

*runs and tells mom* ^^

31 oaklandcat 09.07.07 at 8:39 pm

wha… it’s not Caturday?? OMG I’m supposed to be at work!!!

32 Kar 09.07.07 at 8:57 pm

It’s like they’ve got humour at right angles, oblique, not direct but definitely funny.

My favorite Onion headline of all-time:

CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years
(http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43014)

33 NotSupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork 09.07.07 at 9:06 pm

uh-oh, Kar, your link’s no good… try this one:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43014

34 Shannon Johnson 09.07.07 at 9:32 pm

That is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it.

35 Alexis 09.07.07 at 10:27 pm

The General Bonkers Onion bit is one of our family favorites. In fact, my boyfriend and a friend of his from work call one another “Bonkers” because of it.

One of my favorite cat-related Onion moments was the headline “Enterprising Cat Sh*ts Outside the Box.”

(Murder kitten looks like a slightly younger version of my kitten, Gravy. ‘Cept Gravy has thumbage on her front paws.)

36 arbed 09.07.07 at 11:56 pm
37 arbed 09.07.07 at 11:57 pm

oh darnit, been so long since I posted here that I forgot it doesn’t like pointy brackets

ahem, as I was saying, I’m practically busting with pride to have been involved with the first ever CO puddin’ fight – them was the good ol’ days

38 Annie 09.08.07 at 12:33 am

Theo obviously CO has created a wormhole effect in the time continuem thus shifting the pudding shortage from 2007 to 2005.
Causing great confusion and tipping the delicate balance of the universe

39 leah 09.08.07 at 12:35 am

I love the name and the uniform, no wonder I fall for miltary men geeze Theo I thought I was getting better…. Still love those miltary but I gotta find one with a better name lol

40 Theresa 09.08.07 at 1:53 am

Anyone sle remember “The World According to Garp”? “Bonkie bit Garp.”

41 Tugs 09.08.07 at 4:51 am

Beware of the undertoad.

42 Dr Science 09.08.07 at 9:14 am

This War on String bit has been one of my favorite Onion bits since it was published. It still makes me laugh.

43 thepetmuseum 09.08.07 at 9:24 am

Well, as for the first one, I KNEW that.

44 metsakins 09.08.07 at 12:10 pm

BLOOOOOOLYFLINGLE to all!

Had to sleep with one eye open last night. (shh, the cats are still watching me now and I think one has a weapon)

45 Holly 09.08.07 at 2:40 pm

This story on the Onion from a while back made me laugh so hard. I am not condoning hamsters being put on toy trucks or mini-parachutes though!
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28649

46 lauowolf 09.08.07 at 4:07 pm

Not a pudding wormhole, but a dark pudding conspiracy!
Some dastardly types must have been stockpiling puddins in advance.

47 Ashley O 10.19.07 at 7:10 pm

Very funny to all armed forces

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