Give it up for The Onion, People

People, the Onion is puurrrrrre genius. Please check out two kitteh-related stories;

Story #1:
Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day

[Read more]



Story #2:

"War on String May Be Unwinnable, says Cat General"

[See original post]


Side note: "Bonkers" is the best cat name evar. ‘Cause then you can call him "Bonkie." Right Emily G.?



  1. BLOOOOOOLYFLINGLE! First time Poster!

    I KNEW my kitties had murder on their minds–all that snuggling’s just an act, I tells ya!

  2. JediPirate says:

    Oh, that kitten could suck your soul out with it’s eyes. Cute, but bleenin’ deadly

  3. JediPirate says:

    …darn. Seconds too late. =P

    Oh well. He’s still cute but deadly.

  4. [looks left]
    [looks right]
    [swooshes away mysteriously]

  5. Nice work Theo.

  6. Hmm … The Onion rings a bell … 😉

  7. [snert!]

  8. Ummm turkeys mom blooolyflingle??? …. Choking on my laughter here. or were you Theo[ED]

    Welcome to your new addiction… posting on CO ; )

  9. *Where* did they get that kitty military uniform? Uhdorable!

  10. [whistles in-no-cently]

  11. We had an orange tiger with a larger-than-life personality. His actual name was Brendan, but he was also known as Brennie, Bonkers, Billy Bonks, Chunky Cheese, the Cheeser, etc. It is a great name.

  12. Meg Q — I think they stock plenty of that pic in the photo shop.

  13. If Kittens think about murder all day, you know the stuff going through a rabbit’s head is even more sinister.

  14. redsrevenge says:

    Haha, my mother’s has had the General Bonkers one on the fridge forever :3

  15. OMG Check this pudding related news Item in the Onion Magazine.

    Obviously the Commentroversys of late on CO are creating a pudding shortage.

  16. thank g-d there’s still no price raise on butterscotch!

  17. But… but that Onion blurb about puddins is from July 27, 2005! CO didn’t publish its first post until two months later! How can this be??

  18. …oh, and our first pudding “fight” wasn’t until almost a YEAR after the article.


  19. DejaMew (tx-usa) says:

    Is there really an article to read about the kitten thinking of murder all day? I only got to see a picture and no story. 😦

  20. DejaMew — nope, that one was just a visual one-liner. The Onion does that a lot.

  21. (you can get it on a T-shirt, though)

  22. DejaMew (tx-usa) says:

    I say the kitten has been framed! (thx Theo) 🙂

  23. i love the onion! HA!

  24. The Onion is genius. Especially as they’re the only ones who are willing to tell the truth.

  25. NotSupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork says:

    Oh, The Onion! I remember these 2 items. Laughed me bum off, I did. Murderous little fluffball of cuteness! lolz!

  26. Haha! I love that he is called “Gen. Bonkers”!!

  27. NotSupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork says:

    A little off topic, but this is probably my favorite Onion article ever:

    though it is about snack foods, and pudding is a snack food…

    The murder death kitten comes on a t-shirt!? fantastic!!

  28. yeah, i have the murder kitty on a tshirt. pretty much makes my days at work when i wear it.

  29. Good grief folks, the Onion and CO all at once? My head may very well explode from the sheer radness! And I haven’t even mentioned the blooolyflingle! Ye are hillarious people ye are…

  30. meggy’s trying to make me tink it’s Caturday already

    *runs and tells mom* ^^

  31. wha… it’s not Caturday?? OMG I’m supposed to be at work!!!

  32. It’s like they’ve got humour at right angles, oblique, not direct but definitely funny.

    My favorite Onion headline of all-time:

    CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

  33. NotSupposedToBeDoingThisAtWork says:

    uh-oh, Kar, your link’s no good… try this one:

  34. Shannon Johnson says:

    That is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it.

  35. The General Bonkers Onion bit is one of our family favorites. In fact, my boyfriend and a friend of his from work call one another “Bonkers” because of it.

    One of my favorite cat-related Onion moments was the headline “Enterprising Cat Sh*ts Outside the Box.”

    (Murder kitten looks like a slightly younger version of my kitten, Gravy. ‘Cept Gravy has thumbage on her front paws.)

  36. oh darnit, been so long since I posted here that I forgot it doesn’t like pointy brackets

    ahem, as I was saying, I’m practically busting with pride to have been involved with the first ever CO puddin’ fight – them was the good ol’ days

  37. Theo obviously CO has created a wormhole effect in the time continuem thus shifting the pudding shortage from 2007 to 2005.
    Causing great confusion and tipping the delicate balance of the universe

  38. I love the name and the uniform, no wonder I fall for miltary men geeze Theo I thought I was getting better…. Still love those miltary but I gotta find one with a better name lol

  39. Anyone sle remember “The World According to Garp”? “Bonkie bit Garp.”

  40. Beware of the undertoad.

  41. Dr Science says:

    This War on String bit has been one of my favorite Onion bits since it was published. It still makes me laugh.

  42. Well, as for the first one, I KNEW that.


    Had to sleep with one eye open last night. (shh, the cats are still watching me now and I think one has a weapon)

  44. This story on the Onion from a while back made me laugh so hard. I am not condoning hamsters being put on toy trucks or mini-parachutes though!

  45. Not a pudding wormhole, but a dark pudding conspiracy!
    Some dastardly types must have been stockpiling puddins in advance.

  46. Very funny to all armed forces