Look. [nervous laugh] You got it all wrong.

Look, I hear you, OK?

You read this silly website, and you’re convinced that all otters are evil, right?

So called...

You’ve heard that we lie on our backs in the water all day, hatching ridiculous [holds paws up, does invisible quote marks] "evil" schemes, pretending we’re friends, etc. Right? [Scratches head in disbelief]

I can't believe we're even having this conversation

[Sighs] I don’t know what to tell you. It’s simply [wipes eye nervously] not true.

You feel me on this?

All right? Otters are not always making evil plans—that’s… ridiculous!

Look, I’m glad we’re on the same page here. [Paws behind head in 'we're done' motion]

[clapping hands together in 'finished!' motion]

I got shells to crack and really don’t want to try and convince you again, Erin E.

63 comments … read them below or add one

  1. brinnann says:

    How ke-yoot! I don’t care if he’s hatching evil plans…I wanna otter!!!!

  2. brinnann says:

    (belated bleen)

  3. Yes, my name is really Cricket says:

    I… LOVE… OTTERS!!! They do such cute little human things with their little paws!

    And silly question here… what the heck is “bleen” or “bleeny bleen”?

  4. Theo says:

    $64 question

  5. DKN says:

    Cricket – ack! Your name is so cute! *splodes*

    And now for the obligatory South Park reference:

    “I will kill the time child and eat his entrails off of my belleh!!”

  6. brinnann says:

    Cricket, it was once in the CO Glossary, but I think Theo edited it. It technically means “nothing,” but here is often used as a kind of triumphant yell, “I got the first comment!”

    [Brinn -- it's as much there now as it ever was... same as it ever was... - Ed.]

  7. fish eye no miko says:

    O.
    M.
    G.
    The cute! OMGTHECUTE!

    That second picture.. Oh, lord…
    [wibbles]
    so cute…

  8. brinnann says:

    The whole “first comment” thing is a pet peeve of Theo’s that we love to abuse.

  9. DKN says:

    Brinnann I couldn’t have said it better. Once I boasted that I was first and Theo emailed me a picture of a retarded looking purple muppet. I think it was called “Bleen”. I dunno. Lesson learned. So random, that one is.

    [I *love* that puppet! Not purple, though... - Ed.]
    [ http://martha.users.geeky.net/?p=50 ]

  10. annie says:

    And the evil otter plotting for taking over the world continued, hidden by their successful PR campaign and their natural cuteness.

  11. KittyGogo says:

    I can’t take it. The hands…behind…the….head!!!! AHHHHHHHH.

  12. J. Bo says:

    Otters are not evil.

    Now, SQUIRRELS, on the other hand– everyone knows that SQUIRRELS are evil.

  13. miss_thing says:

    Meg, I think I love you. (In a strictly platonic, “you brighten my day” kind of way, of course.)

  14. annie says:

    J.Bo I could tell You stories. There is this campsite here in california where the squirrels perform military manuevers to get the food at your campsite. Seriously with battalions and units and little itty bitty guns and grenandes.

  15. jenna says:

    That was too funny- megs hilarious!!!

  16. lesley says:

    Hands down the cutest otter ive ever seen.. maybe its because his head is dry and he is fluffy. i didnt know otters were so fluffy!

  17. Lioness says:

    The only thing cuter than otters is….is…is…I don’t know, I really don’t.

  18. pistache268 says:

    Don’t cry otter!

  19. SarahR says:

    I am bleended by The Cute!

    [ ... - Ed.]

  20. ladeedah says:

    That’s a waterbed alright. Soooo comferbuls.

  21. Theo says:

    …except only ottarz can get away with sleeping *in* them, rather than *on*

  22. Suzanne says:

    OMG…just when I thought otterz couldn’t get any cuter…dang!

    Annie & JBo re: squirrels are evil…just ask the 3 people in Italy that were attacked Wednesday (seriously…check out MSN).

  23. redbone says:

    Pfhahahaa
    Nahh, he’s way too relaxed to be eebuhl. But I bet he’d appreciate someone passing him a pina colada while he floats along.

  24. Theo says:

    …and gettin’ caught in the rain

    oh #$@DAMMIT Redbone. Now THAT’S stuck in my head.

  25. Erin E. says:

    suck it mofo!

  26. Theo says:

    [can't help but wonder what's stuck in Erin E's head]

  27. Sandy says:

    Awwwww!!!

    Oh, and I almost missed those hilarious hover texts again. Have to pay more attention but sometimes it’s hard when there’s so much cuteness to handle.

  28. chet's momma says:

    ok, peeps, I am laid up with severe sciatica, and I am just lovin’ CO today! the bellies, OMG, THE BELLEHS!

  29. anner says:

    did everyone else think otters were evil? i didn’t. but i guess they were probably controlling my mind with their cuteness.

  30. Only zombie otters are evil. These otters are alright. I ken tell.

  31. DKN says:

    Oh right, teho…forgot it was a blueish muppet-ish thingy.

  32. annie says:

    DKN you are supposed to share these things with the class so we all know what it looks like.

  33. A thinker says:

    That’s it. After a kitteh, I’m going to get an otter. This settles it.

  34. annie says:

    You have all been mesmerized by the otter cute. Tsk Tsk. You know when the otter take over happens just remember I warned you about their PR department and the blindness caused by the otter cutness ;-D

  35. sally o'malley says:

    omgwtfbbq.

    these things are adorable, and i’ll take 3 dozen of them, kthanks.

  36. Li says:

    Otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter!!!

    (No copy-pasting, neither! Phhhbbtttbtbttt!)

    I loooove otters! Must… snorgle… floofff!!

  37. fish eye no miko says:

    Theo:
    “…and gettin’ caught in the rain
    oh #$@DAMMIT Redbone. Now THAT’S stuck in my head.”

    LOL!!

    If you’re familiar with the show _Mystery Science Theater 3000_, they do a hilarious breakdown of just how stupid and WRONG that song is (like, for example: They were planning on cheating on each other, but at the end, everything’s just peachy? I don’t think so…).

    Er, ANYway…. you may now return to drooling and squeeing over the adorable little otter. In fact, all join you..

    OMGSQUEE!!

  38. Suda Nim says:

    That otter’s got some serious “lalalalalala can’t hear you” going on in the last picture.

    Oh, the lutrinity!

  39. Sarah Black says:

    Loving the paws-behind-the-head!
    I have a question as well, regarding the rules of cuteness… specifically, the ear-to-head ratio. Of course, proportionately tiny ears *are* adorable, but is not the reverse also true? Such as on a kitten who has not yet grown into his/her ginormous ears? I find large ears on a big head to be just as cute. Just sayin.

  40. R. Moore says:

    Fish Eye, I remember once when I was first old enough to actually listen to lyrics and get what they were saying, my mom was singing along. I was listening to it and she was saying how much she loved it and how good it was. I was listening and going, “And this is all okay…”

  41. Allison says:

    Best Caption Ever. The otter is cute too.

  42. fish eye no miko says:

    R. Moore; Yeah, it’s just… what was he thinking?

    BTW, you can find the MST analysis of the song here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMekMLrNapY
    “what, would they always panic and order Manhattans?”

  43. metsakins says:

    f e n m – that was great..

  44. Lisa says:

    DKN- aw man you got to the South Park reference first! One of my favorite episodes ever. “Why do humans eat off of tables when they have perfectly good bellies?”

    LOVE otters- such soft lil fur, and lil beady eyes and bitty paws! :)

  45. Subhangi says:

    Oh stop with the otters for a while! I’m dying here!!!

    glubglubglub

  46. Theresa says:

    We wuz blinded by the cute,
    By the beady eyes, tousles,
    And the whiskers on the snoot!

  47. Tor says:

    There otter be a law!

  48. Shannon Johnson says:

    OMG! Otters are so cute! I love otters. *sighs*

  49. Faye says:

    Tor, LOL. There otter be a law! LOL, can’t breathe.

  50. rosie says:

    Sarah Black–

    i think a lot of people *have* proposed that idea, especially for animals such as fennec foxes. (and here comes theo’s fennec fox song…..) now we just pretty much call it “ridiculously sized ear-to-head ratio.” or fennec syndrome.

  51. Pepe says:

    Ha! This makes me think of my best friend who swears up and down that out chinchillas are evil! H usually will glare them down and declare “DO SOMETHING EVIL!”

  52. Annie says:
  53. miu says:

    I bow to you, Meg (or Theo or X). Grrreat picshus and SUPuuuuurb capshions.

    PS. Nah, otters not evil. Otters otterly good.

  54. Annie says:

    Miu they are not evil they are just thinking up evil plots. Bwahahahahah

  55. mlle_x says:

    HOW DO THEY GET SO CYUUUUUUUUTE????

  56. Tina Rhea says:

    Apparently I’m the only one who looked at this series, especially the last one, and thought, “Y…MCA!”

  57. brittany says:

    CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:p

  58. ashley says:

    i’m preeetty sure that the river otter is my new favorite animal

    TOO freakin’ cute

  59. moderately_neato says:

    Does anyone remember the Denis Leary bit about otters? Something about why we eat cows instead of, say…otters. When asked what otters do that’s so special that they shouldn’t be eaten, they reply, “We do cute human things with our hands!” And the people say “AHNN!” When asked what cows do that’s so special they reply something like, “We’re cows-we eat grass.” And the people say, “Get on the truck!” And off to your dinner plate they go…If only cows were more dexterous with their hooves, we might be squeeing with delight over their hijinx!

  60. nah- we eat cows because they taste like steak. I’m betting otters would not be very yummy, or people would prolly eat them NEways…

  61. Me says:
  62. Theo says:

    Rosie — I have a fennec fox song?? To be refreshings memory please?

  63. Bex says:

    Oh My Goodness! The hands behind the head keelt me, It did!