Look. [nervous laugh] You got it all wrong.

Look, I hear you, OK?

You read this silly website, and you’re convinced that all otters are evil, right?

So called...

You’ve heard that we lie on our backs in the water all day, hatching ridiculous [holds paws up, does invisible quote marks] "evil" schemes, pretending we’re friends, etc. Right? [Scratches head in disbelief]

I can't believe we're even having this conversation

[Sighs] I don’t know what to tell you. It’s simply [wipes eye nervously] not true.

You feel me on this?

All right? Otters are not always making evil plans—that’s… ridiculous!

Look, I’m glad we’re on the same page here. [Paws behind head in ‘we’re done’ motion]

[clapping hands together in 'finished!' motion]

I got shells to crack and really don’t want to try and convince you again, Erin E.



  1. How ke-yoot! I don’t care if he’s hatching evil plans…I wanna otter!!!!

  2. (belated bleen)

  3. Yes, my name is really Cricket says:

    I… LOVE… OTTERS!!! They do such cute little human things with their little paws!

    And silly question here… what the heck is “bleen” or “bleeny bleen”?

  4. $64 question

  5. Cricket – ack! Your name is so cute! *splodes*

    And now for the obligatory South Park reference:

    “I will kill the time child and eat his entrails off of my belleh!!”

  6. Cricket, it was once in the CO Glossary, but I think Theo edited it. It technically means “nothing,” but here is often used as a kind of triumphant yell, “I got the first comment!”

    [Brinn — it’s as much there now as it ever was… same as it ever was… – Ed.]

  7. fish eye no miko says:

    The cute! OMGTHECUTE!

    That second picture.. Oh, lord…
    so cute…

  8. The whole “first comment” thing is a pet peeve of Theo’s that we love to abuse.

  9. Brinnann I couldn’t have said it better. Once I boasted that I was first and Theo emailed me a picture of a retarded looking purple muppet. I think it was called “Bleen”. I dunno. Lesson learned. So random, that one is.

    [I *love* that puppet! Not purple, though… – Ed.]
    [ http://martha.users.geeky.net/?p=50 ]

  10. And the evil otter plotting for taking over the world continued, hidden by their successful PR campaign and their natural cuteness.

  11. I can’t take it. The hands…behind…the….head!!!! AHHHHHHHH.

  12. Otters are not evil.

    Now, SQUIRRELS, on the other hand– everyone knows that SQUIRRELS are evil.

  13. miss_thing says:

    Meg, I think I love you. (In a strictly platonic, “you brighten my day” kind of way, of course.)

  14. J.Bo I could tell You stories. There is this campsite here in california where the squirrels perform military manuevers to get the food at your campsite. Seriously with battalions and units and little itty bitty guns and grenandes.

  15. That was too funny- megs hilarious!!!

  16. Hands down the cutest otter ive ever seen.. maybe its because his head is dry and he is fluffy. i didnt know otters were so fluffy!

  17. Lioness says:

    The only thing cuter than otters is….is…is…I don’t know, I really don’t.

  18. pistache268 says:

    Don’t cry otter!

  19. I am bleended by The Cute!

    [ … – Ed.]

  20. ladeedah says:

    That’s a waterbed alright. Soooo comferbuls.

  21. …except only ottarz can get away with sleeping *in* them, rather than *on*

  22. Suzanne says:

    OMG…just when I thought otterz couldn’t get any cuter…dang!

    Annie & JBo re: squirrels are evil…just ask the 3 people in Italy that were attacked Wednesday (seriously…check out MSN).

  23. redbone says:

    Nahh, he’s way too relaxed to be eebuhl. But I bet he’d appreciate someone passing him a pina colada while he floats along.

  24. …and gettin’ caught in the rain

    oh #$@DAMMIT Redbone. Now THAT’S stuck in my head.

  25. Erin E. says:

    suck it mofo!

  26. [can’t help but wonder what’s stuck in Erin E’s head]

  27. Awwwww!!!

    Oh, and I almost missed those hilarious hover texts again. Have to pay more attention but sometimes it’s hard when there’s so much cuteness to handle.

  28. chet's momma says:

    ok, peeps, I am laid up with severe sciatica, and I am just lovin’ CO today! the bellies, OMG, THE BELLEHS!

  29. did everyone else think otters were evil? i didn’t. but i guess they were probably controlling my mind with their cuteness.

  30. Only zombie otters are evil. These otters are alright. I ken tell.

  31. Oh right, teho…forgot it was a blueish muppet-ish thingy.

  32. DKN you are supposed to share these things with the class so we all know what it looks like.

  33. That’s it. After a kitteh, I’m going to get an otter. This settles it.

  34. You have all been mesmerized by the otter cute. Tsk Tsk. You know when the otter take over happens just remember I warned you about their PR department and the blindness caused by the otter cutness ;-D

  35. sally o'malley says:


    these things are adorable, and i’ll take 3 dozen of them, kthanks.

  36. Otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter otter!!!

    (No copy-pasting, neither! Phhhbbtttbtbttt!)

    I loooove otters! Must… snorgle… floofff!!

  37. fish eye no miko says:

    “…and gettin’ caught in the rain
    oh #$@DAMMIT Redbone. Now THAT’S stuck in my head.”


    If you’re familiar with the show _Mystery Science Theater 3000_, they do a hilarious breakdown of just how stupid and WRONG that song is (like, for example: They were planning on cheating on each other, but at the end, everything’s just peachy? I don’t think so…).

    Er, ANYway…. you may now return to drooling and squeeing over the adorable little otter. In fact, all join you..


  38. Suda Nim says:

    That otter’s got some serious “lalalalalala can’t hear you” going on in the last picture.

    Oh, the lutrinity!

  39. Sarah Black says:

    Loving the paws-behind-the-head!
    I have a question as well, regarding the rules of cuteness… specifically, the ear-to-head ratio. Of course, proportionately tiny ears *are* adorable, but is not the reverse also true? Such as on a kitten who has not yet grown into his/her ginormous ears? I find large ears on a big head to be just as cute. Just sayin.

  40. R. Moore says:

    Fish Eye, I remember once when I was first old enough to actually listen to lyrics and get what they were saying, my mom was singing along. I was listening to it and she was saying how much she loved it and how good it was. I was listening and going, “And this is all okay…”

  41. Best Caption Ever. The otter is cute too.

  42. fish eye no miko says:

    R. Moore; Yeah, it’s just… what was he thinking?

    BTW, you can find the MST analysis of the song here:

    “what, would they always panic and order Manhattans?”

  43. f e n m – that was great..

  44. DKN- aw man you got to the South Park reference first! One of my favorite episodes ever. “Why do humans eat off of tables when they have perfectly good bellies?”

    LOVE otters- such soft lil fur, and lil beady eyes and bitty paws! 🙂

  45. Oh stop with the otters for a while! I’m dying here!!!


  46. Theresa says:

    We wuz blinded by the cute,
    By the beady eyes, tousles,
    And the whiskers on the snoot!

  47. There otter be a law!

  48. Shannon Johnson says:

    OMG! Otters are so cute! I love otters. *sighs*

  49. Tor, LOL. There otter be a law! LOL, can’t breathe.

  50. Sarah Black–

    i think a lot of people *have* proposed that idea, especially for animals such as fennec foxes. (and here comes theo’s fennec fox song…..) now we just pretty much call it “ridiculously sized ear-to-head ratio.” or fennec syndrome.

  51. Ha! This makes me think of my best friend who swears up and down that out chinchillas are evil! H usually will glare them down and declare “DO SOMETHING EVIL!”

  52. I bow to you, Meg (or Theo or X). Grrreat picshus and SUPuuuuurb capshions.

    PS. Nah, otters not evil. Otters otterly good.

  53. Miu they are not evil they are just thinking up evil plots. Bwahahahahah


  55. Tina Rhea says:

    Apparently I’m the only one who looked at this series, especially the last one, and thought, “Y…MCA!”

  56. brittany says:


  57. i’m preeetty sure that the river otter is my new favorite animal

    TOO freakin’ cute

  58. moderately_neato says:

    Does anyone remember the Denis Leary bit about otters? Something about why we eat cows instead of, say…otters. When asked what otters do that’s so special that they shouldn’t be eaten, they reply, “We do cute human things with our hands!” And the people say “AHNN!” When asked what cows do that’s so special they reply something like, “We’re cows-we eat grass.” And the people say, “Get on the truck!” And off to your dinner plate they go…If only cows were more dexterous with their hooves, we might be squeeing with delight over their hijinx!

  59. nah- we eat cows because they taste like steak. I’m betting otters would not be very yummy, or people would prolly eat them NEways…

  60. Rosie — I have a fennec fox song?? To be refreshings memory please?

  61. Oh My Goodness! The hands behind the head keelt me, It did!