I am like, JONESING

"Hey, you know those nuts you’ve been giving us allllll winter long?

Well guess what? [pats forearm rapidly]

I’m baaaaaaaaaack! Now. Hand ‘em over, Bro—no bogarts."

Peepitude

Jeeshe—how stingy ARE you, KT!?

Comments

  1. freetomato says:

    squirrrreeeeleeeeeeee!!!!!

  2. artschild says:

    GAAAH! THE SQUIRRELS ARE COMING FOR ME!

  3. ShelleyTambo says:

    Those are some BIG beady eyes.

  4. Ooh, I think this movie’s going to star Tippi Hendren.

  5. H-hey, take it easy, Mr. Squirrel. I, uh, I-I’ll get your nuts to you soon, I swear!

    I was in the Public Gardens in Boston once and a squirrel ran up and started patting his hands all over my shopping bag, looking for a treat. They’re little furry panhandlers. :)

  6. The squirrels are coming the squirrels are coming.

  7. Scruffylove says:

    Heeeeerrre’s Johnny!

  8. how on earth did the photographer get this shot?! it’s incredible! lol

  9. LOL, Scruffy.

    Skwerl: “You t’ought dis screen was gonna keep me out? What? I look like a friggin’ mosquito to you?”

  10. Fuzzybutt says:

    Moy CUTE!!!

    The squirrels in Union Square Park in NYC are VERY VERY bold. I was holding a cookie in my hand while I was on the phone and a squirrel jumped onto my lap to get the cookie!!!

  11. Can you imagine how many little nibbles Mr. Squirrel had to make to get through there?

  12. ThreeCatNight says:

    Here’s a squirrel with ‘tude. His very face says “You talkin’to me? I said — you talkin’ to me? It’s gotta be you — ain’t no one else here.”
    Be afraid, be very afraid…

  13. SQUIRREL SNARF!!!!!

  14. thedistractor says:

    This happens to be exactly like a nightmare I had once….

    Not good for me to see first thing in the morning.

  15. wow, that’s almost a COXC!!
    he’s super cute!

    but awww. :-( reminds me of something really sad I saw a few weeks ago…a skwerl got stuck trying to go thru someone’s chain link fence. he probably froze, he was halfway thru…it was awful! and weird.

  16. OMG, it’s like he’s coming right out of my monitor to snorgle me!

  17. “I know you’re in there! I can hear you breathing!”

  18. OK, who is this:
    “…sniff sniffa … sqwee.”
    Neeeeeeoorrrwwm … zip … stop.
    Hugging acorn. Look up, eye twitch, look down, eye twitch. Crazed stare.
    Listening. CRRRACK!
    Ears flat. “whimper”
    WHHHHOMP!

  19. Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick me! It’s Scrat from Ice Age.

  20. Eeee! Ceebs, what a terrible story. Must go away to happy place now.

  21. I have had a bold, snack-seeking squirrel run up my leg. Mildly fun in slacks. Less so in skirts.

  22. HOLY BEADY EYES!!!!!!

  23. Smac – Scrat! You win the GOlden Acorn. But then you lose it, again, and again.

  24. oh boy, a squirrel! how can an animal so ubiquitous continue to overwhelm us with cuteness every day? i find myself impulsively greeting them (“hey there, fatty, got yourself a nut? nut-nut-nut?”)in a ridiculous voice, then looking around to make sure nobody heard me.

    apparently, they often *pretend* to bury a nut – dig, stick nose into hole, cover hole, pat down dirt with paws – in a couple of different places before *actually* burying it, just to throw off any scavengers who might be watching.

    smart like ratties!

  25. But then I get a Golden Coconut…but then lose that too when I travel back in time to the Ice Age.

  26. Actually, probably lost it too in all the lava.

  27. YOMANK, Redzilla! I could SO hear that comment in a Joe Pesci voice a la My Cousin Vinnie. Thanks for the laugh.

    -Helen

    PS: YOMANK = You Owe Me A New Keyboard (because I just sprayed a mouthful of tea all over it)

  28. Two thumbs up to ScruffyLove for the classic movie reference. (Well, and TV too.)

  29. “YOMANK”… I like that
    http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/YOMANK

  30. ShelleyTambo says:

    Once upon a time, a long time ago, when my family first moved to the mid-Atlantic Coast, my father decided that we had to visit all the historical spots. So we trekked down to DC, where we walked around outside the White House, but never actually went in. Outside, we encountered a woman feeding a skwerl part of her muffin. She promptly handed the muffin to me. I sat on the ledge nearby and skwerl came over to sit in my lap and eat cranberry muffin from my hand for about 15 minutes. That was the most interesting part of the trip.

  31. Christina says:

    Lol my Mom fes the squirrels in her yard all the time. They know when she comes home for work and wakes up everything.They even try to come in the house sometimes its creepy,but cute I’m going to have to send this to her and tell her she better watch out this may happen to her!

  32. Scrat is up for an Oscar! Best animated short film. I hope he gets it and keeps it.

  33. When I was a student in Halls of Residence, I woke up one morning, went to the kitchen, opened the bread-bin, took out my white sliced loaf…little squirrel was in there. Not just in the kitchen. Not just in the breadbin. In the bread.

    *That* is how squirrels are.

  34. cavalaxis says:

    Redzilla: FTW!

    This pic wins at internetz.

  35. Kudos for Scrat! He makes me break into hysterical giggling fits. It’s the power of the squeaking shriek and the eye twitch dontchano.

  36. OMG. Sqwerl is doing a Jack Nicholson from The Shining … when he axes down the bathroom door and then pokes his head in through it!

  37. elizabells says:

    So there’s this beach town near Monterey (home of the aquarium with the OTTERZ) that has a plethora of ground skwerls, which I guess are sort of like chipmunks? I was there about fifteen years ago, when I was but a wee lass, and bent down to tie my shoe… and ELEVENTY BILLION of them actually swarmed all over me. Somewhere right on that fine, fine line between squeeelicious and really, really scary. As a growed-up CO aficionado, totally squee. As a ten year old, kind of wiggins-inducing.

  38. “What are ya doin’ in there? Growing those nuts? How ’bout some service!”

    Such a great picture. It’s going to make an even better desktop…

  39. LMAO!
    Oh man, I lurve SKWERLS!

    (Can’t wait ’til the rehab nursery opens this spring, when I can feed and hold the bebeh skwerls!)

  40. “Let me in!”

  41. I think he sees the biggest nut of nuts on the other side of that screen, and the angelic choirs are singing and shining light down on it. And he’s thinking holy macadamia!

  42. Walking through the Harvard grounds a squirrel came up to me, stood up on its hind legs, waited for a treat, got it and then…bowed!

    Smart ass!

  43. I love squirrels, but they’re a trifle creepy when they look right at you.

  44. Cat-astrophe says:

    Rafael – I’ve had interesting experiences with the Harvard Yard squirrels, too. Back in college, a friend and I took some peanuts to feed them. Most were fine, but then we were chased by a KILLER SQUIRREL – he was huge, and we literally had to run away from him – he just kept coming! We saw him terrorizing a smaller squirrel, too – what a bully!

  45. Rafael — I wonder how the squirrels act over at MIT…?

    How about Lesley?

  46. this might just be one of the best pictures I’ve ever seen…

  47. Rafael: That squirrel is wicked smaht!

  48. I’d love to see this animated somehow, with Senor Squirrel poking his head in through the hole…

  49. I love that little face! So…imploring.

    Also, I must say: once I had a tug-of-war with a squirrel in the Grand Canyon over a salami sandwich. Really.

  50. Subhangi—
    “HERE’S JOHNNY!”

  51. Sue from NoCal says:

    There have been problems with squirrels in a city park near me. Apparently parents let their kiddies walk around with food in their hands and the squirrels “attack” them to get the food. Now, the parents want the city to “eradicate” the squirrels to protect the children. Now, I don’t want to sound anti-child, but why don’t the parents stop feeding their children at the park? It seems like that would solve the problem without killing fuzzy little animals.

  52. Poor little squirrels. But its soooo very funny, and cute!:D

  53. Whilst camping when I was a wee person, I was sitting up against the base of a tree.. eating ..of all things… peanuts. Out of nowhere a squirrely squirrel came saunty sauntering up.. Sat on my lap, and began to eat with me. It was amazazing! (a’la Napolean Dynamite)…

  54. Ceebs – Egads!!! I guess Scruffylove already got that one. Aaaargh.

    (Must … watch … movies … more often …)

  55. How DO you people get these shots?!?

    Loris – Whether you intended to be or not, that’s a very funny story. I hoped you laughed at the time.

  56. Theo

    probably like those two squirrels from the Warner Bros cartoons, the ones that fill Elmer Fudds home with nuts!

  57. this made me think of that song:
    I always feel like somebody’s watchin’ me…

    (and now the song is stuck in my head)

    cute squirrely.

  58. you guys r silly says:

    A bunch of years ago, the old GRUMPY man who lived in the apartment right above me, was ALWAYS ALWAYS complaining to the apartment manager about the squirrels in the attic/roof, and the noise they were always making.
    So one day, he opens the bathroom cabinet under his sink, and evidently, the squirrels had managed to dig their way down through the attic/roof area through the walls, and had dug their way into his bathroom cabinet. When he opened the cabinet door that day, there was a fuzzy skwerlie waiting there, looking at him.
    Boy did he ever b*tch to the apartment management about THAT!
    I was jealous because I would have LOVED opening up MY bathroom cabinet finding a skwerlie there! (My kitties probably would have loved it too…&:o)

  59. SQUEEEEEEE-rails!!!!

    I lurv SQUEEEEEE-rails!!!!
    those toesies are killer.

  60. I shall name him, Joey Bag-o-nuts. Thankyouverymuch.

  61. THANKS to all the people who post on this blog…you all make me laugh!

  62. I’m with Kim H. I’m having flashbacks (the good kind) to that interactive kangaroo a few weeks back.

  63. I Have To Admit: I Love The Nuts
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33804

  64. Rafael — sounds like a natural organic alternative to something like this…
    http://www.euro-matic.com/playde.html

  65. Quick! Somebody give him a Milkdud.

  66. Theo:

    True dat!…True dat!

  67. He’s a Fuller Brush-tail salesman:
    “Hellooo anybody home?
    Well hello Miss, is your mother home? What? Wellll, you look so young! Now, I want to ask you a question. How would you like it if I was the last salesman to ever knock on your door? It can be true. Fuller Brush-tail has made moi their Rep of the Year. See? (swishing tail) This means savings for you. Yes, today only, you too can have a brush-tail of your own, for peanuts! Literally.

  68. Oh, pyrit, PLEASE let that be the last word!:-)) I’ve got that picture stuck in my head and I can’t stop laughing! Thank g-d it’s the end of the day… I’m going home now… :-)))

  69. Pyrit – Poifect! Unfortunately, I’m old enough to remember the Fuller Brush man….and the milkman too. ;-)

  70. As much as I lurve hams, and bunnehs and kittehs…squirrels are STILL my favorite!

    SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  71. i’m chompin’ yer screen door, lookin’ at yer nutz…

  72. Bats–EEEK!

  73. You guys are all mean

    This is just a sweet, hard-working search and rescue rodent.

  74. I used to know someone who kept two Beanie Baby squirrels on her desk at work. Since they were named “Nuts,” she figured there had to be a pair of them …

  75. Barb Letsom says:

    it’s probably a little girl & she’s a pregnant momma !…Needs food, give me some…please ! look she’s eating for six ! One mamma squirrel girl came INTO my apartment once & I said “oh, good girl!”

  76. ROFL, pyrit!!!

    Revwaldo, I have to admit, _I_ love the nuts, too! And The Onion! :)

  77. pyrit let’s all hail pyrit,!!!!!!!!!!!! thats perfect now I’ll new look at another fuller brush without laughing out LOUD!!!!!!!! I just got done fighting with my stepmonster and I needed something to make me laugh, thanks to pyrit and always to cute overload for making smile.

  78. frIda_fan66 says:

    Ahhhh Shakespeare..

    Now is the squirrel of our discontent!

  79. Squirrelly! How cute!

  80. P. Erasmus says:
  81. Hey, look – a disapproving squirrel! Weeeeeee (with a nod to threebrain – and yes I’m obvy a fan since my vanity plate reads: WEEEEE)

  82. i heart squirls, it’s true. but until this photo entered my life i have never felt the desire to smooch one on the leeps!

    isslike cat leeps! cammeere!

    **mmmwah!**

    (bounces away like pepe lepew)

  83. *laughs* Looks like we’ve all had cute/funny/somewhat scary run-ins with the fluff-tailed cuties.
    But here’s my favorite sqwerl story – I don’t know if it’s true of not, but I’ve seen some pretty tough little critters, so I totally believe this could happen. Still – True or not, it’s hilarious!
    http://www.valkyrieriders.com/articles/funny_ride_home.htm

  84. Crazed,
    That was so funny, you owe me a new keyboard and monitor!

  85. at the Rhododendron Gardens here in Stumptown, the squirrels are pretty bold (not as bold as the ones that live on college campuses, but close) and we like to feed them peanuts. if you hold the peanut out, the squirrels will come up to you and take it from your fingers. and if you don’t let go right away, they’ll put their little paws up on your fingers and puuuuuuuush your hand away while puuuuulllllling back on the nut with their teeth. it’s hi-lar-i-ous!

  86. Hey Lady. Got Nuts?

  87. Wants personnally crafted drama? no thanks! wants nuts…..of course!

  88. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK5u3RVxxLE&NR

    Since you like cats with racks, you might want to check out this video.

  89. hah. Pyrit- FTW! Impressive how you managed to capture Scrat in just text. I heart that guy, I could watch him for hours. :)

    anyone ever tried squirl fishingk?

    also, thanks to you all I’m picturing this squirl eating grits…

  90. I still remember the first time I read that one, Kelly Mc – Every time I re-read it I end up not being able to breathe for a few moments, and the bunnies get confused because I’m laughing too hard to explain myself.
    “Scottish attack squirrel of death” is one of my favorite phrases!

  91. Squirrels are EVIL! They suck you in with their cute nose twitches and fuzzy tails and their bouncy-bounce scampers, and then one day you’re just walking to class and BAM! Old man squirrels comes flying out of a garbage can and attacks you! (Happened to a friend. I ran down her shirt… on the inside.)

  92. IT ran down her shirt, not me (darn typo, darn squirrels).

  93. darkshines says:

    I have a tree outside my window, and regularly watch the squirrels running up and own the branches. The other day, sitting here on my laptop, and noticed a squirrel on one of the higher branches that overlooks my room. I sat there watching him, and he sat there watching me. For about 45 minutes…. :( I’m scared hes going to come back and steal my computer or something……

  94. hrh.squeak says:

    Crazed: Can I send you a plastic surgeon’s bill? I laughed so hard at that story that my nose fell off.

    (

  95. Just remembered Eddie Izzard:
    (He does it much better)
    “And squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, and occasionally, they stop and go, “Gasp!”, as if they’re thinking, “Did I leave the gas on? No! I’m a *bleep*ing squirrel!”

  96. hi i think it its really sweet and adoribale

  97. LOL! This makes me think of my fav New Yorker cartoon:

    A man hears a knock at their apartment door. When he opens it, there’s a little squirrel in the hallway with his little hands folded neatly on his chest looking up at the man. The man is turned around, calling out towards the kitchen, “Edna, do we have any nuts?”

  98. twoferrets says:

    I was once mugged by a squirrel in Inwood Hill Park in Manhattan. She was a nursing Mama Squirrel & was sitting on ground near me, so I gave her a couple of bits of bagel. Then she got on bench next to me and started SHRIEKING until I handed over the remainder of my breakfast! I am absolutely certain that if I hadn’t give it to her, she would have taken it and left me for dead.

  99. Hey Peeps — if it turns out Meg’s too busy for an update today, I *do* have something lined up at home… but it’ll be at least 6:00 PM Central before I can get that live.

    PS — comment #100

  100. I’m like JONESING for new posts! Theo, I can’t wait THAT long!!!

  101. Crazed, that was too funny! I’m at work so I’m trying not to laugh out loud, so I’m sitting here shaking with tears coming out of my eyes. The squirrel grenade…. the riot gun…. oh it’s too much!

  102. Helene — I’ll think about it. There is *one* more thing I could possibly post, but it’s not an exclusive. At the moment, though, I’m pretty busy myself. Blasted paying jobs. ;)

  103. for the record, this was my worst fear as a child

  104. katherine: That’s how I usually read this stuff, but this morning, NO! Couldn’t help myself. Read Crazed’s story and couldn’t stop laughing out loud. Emphasis on the “loud” part. I’m still laughing… you all are on top of your game this morning.

    Theo: MORE! NOW! Don’t make me go back to work!

  105. Oh, yes… and I just made this photo my desktop at the office. Heh heh heh!

  106. Crazed – you got me too, like katherine,at work so I’m trying not to laugh out loud, so I’m sitting here shaking with tears coming out of my eyes. Thank god I’m alone in the cubicle today… Gotta share that one…

  107. “Theo: MORE! NOW! Don’t make me go back to work!”

    Y’know, on a scale of one to Mortally Intimidating Threat…
    ;)

  108. “Fat Cat, I know you’re in there. Come out. I’m sending in Monterey Jack if you don’t come out!”

    Fade out and…

    “Some times some crimes
    Go slippin’ through the cracks
    But these two gumshoes
    Are pickin’ up the slack

    There’s no case too big, no case too small
    When you need help just call

    Ch-ch-ch-Chip ‘n Dale
    Rescue Rangers
    Ch-ch-ch-Chip ‘n Dale
    When there’s danger

    Oh no, it never fails
    They’ll take the clues
    And find the wheres and whys and whos

    Ch-ch-ch-Chip ‘n Dale!”

  109. ok, I’m fully aware our coverlords have real jobs and lives, so I’m not compaining.
    What I am saying: it’s almost 11 on Friday and I feel like this squirrel: where’s my new post! hand it over! I’m jonesing for some cute! etc. (My cats point out they are providing live-streaming cuteness, what are they chopped liver? and can they have some chopped liver while I’m at it?)

  110. Peeps are begging and squirming. Beware, we have entered the doldrums. The Frosty wind is gone. Capt. Theo is locked in his quarters. The rum is all gone. Prepare for mutiny or abandon all hope. Might as well throw yerselves overboard now afore ye all go insane.

  111. useta hada kitteh says:

    Pyrit — you got me so upset (the rum is all gone????) that I had to try 4 or 5 times to spell useta! Ack! Please tell me there’s still puddin’ left!!! If I can’t have new cute, at least grant me a leetle bit ‘o’ puddin!

    I’m goin’ a little squirrly here…

  112. BTW, anyone else love that Ray Stevens song “The Mississippi Squirrel Revival?” My dad used to play us his records all the time.

    If you’ve never heard it, the lyrics are here, http://www.raystevens.com/SongLyrics/MississippiSquirrelLyrics.html

  113. Shanchan, that was simply amazing.

  114. On the campus where my kids went to school there were several squirrels that had no tails…the students called them “squabbits”. Hee.

  115. I didn’t think the day could get any brighter. Then Shanchan went and did it.

    “The Mississippi Squirrel Revival” indeed!

  116. The Honourable Gladys Anstruther says:

    I ates em I ates em I tell you, the little bleeders dig up my bulbs. Death to tree rats.

  117. Check this out, folks:

    http://www.yahoo.com/s/502770

    Words fail me.

  118. Oh! Did you see the one bebeh tigger that was all white w/a striped tail?! I think I just learned how to SQUEEEEE!

  119. Nasty, evil squirrels story.

    We have a huge old avocade tree out back.
    It was started from a seed in the 60’s and planted outback.

    Evidently that is not how you get avocado trees that actually make avocados.
    So this gigantic tree only ever makes about a dozen avocados a year.
    But they are perfectly good avocados.
    Until the squirrels pick them, stone hard, eat out a hunk and drop them.

    But while that is evil, it isn’t the nasty, evil squirrel story.

    The avocado tree overhangs the neighbor’s roof, about five feet up from it, and off to the side.
    The Evil Squirrels used to lure my idiot cat up into the tree, and then jump back and forth to the roof.

    Being squirrels, of course, they could launch out across the gap, three stories up.
    My poor cat, though, wasn’t even much of a climber.
    But eventually the little squirrelly neder-neders would get to him, and he’d jump.

    About a dozen times.
    (I said it was our idiot cat.)

    He wouldn’t come home for dinner, and we’d call and call, and eventually we’d see him all pitiful up on the roof.

    Then we’d have to throw a plank between their roof and my bedroom window, and talk a phobic cat into running across it.

    Try explaining that to potential cstsitters.

    And the squirrels watched the whole thing from the trees — I swear — laughing.

  120. Oi Peeps!
    [ahem] …still jonesing?

  121. DCN — those baby tigers are TEH AWSUM. They’re the ultimate tabbies, aren’t they?

  122. One of the many reasons my kitteh stays inside – da squirrelz. It’s okay for the puppeh, she can’t climb the trees after them, but I imagine kitteh would be in a whole buncha trouble if I let her go after them.

  123. 4 U Meg – (Thx 4 all teh Cute)
    (Cliff Claven voice) “Eh wait just a minute Meggie, I’m not so sure your commentary is what you call seasonally accurate there. It’s a little known fact only the red fescue will thrive at your higher elevations as it tolerates your colder winters there. What I’m seeing growing in the background is definitely your common fescue variety, as mail carriers well know, section 48-chapter 3A, is typically sown in the warm lower regions of the lower 48. Er and would there not indeed be snow if indeed it was winter there, if you know what I mean.”

  124. dcn– you have offically keeled me. Baby tigers is one thing, but three babies, one waving his paw with his tounge sticking out??

  125. So. This reminds me of the time that my dad let the roof fall into serious disrepair, and we had squirrels in the attic.

    I woke up one morning to hear frantic digging, and I looked up into my ceiling and saw a hole in it. And then, right before my very eyes, the squirrel tripped in its own hole, and its foot got stuck, and it started screeching. So I had to get up out of bed, and push its foot back up out of my room and into the attic.

    It also reminds me of the time my husband’s idiot cat tried to climb up on the window sill and ended up tearing a hole in the screen, climbing through it and getting stuck between the screen and the jalousie window.

  126. Oh it’s all cute and good until you come home one day and there is a hole in your screen, little muddy footprints on your counter, granola everywhere, and that expensive sourdough loaf you just bought has been nibbled! I honestly couldn’t open that window for another year because he kept trying to break in whenever it was open and the tasty smell of boutique bakry sourdough was luring him to dine in my kitchen.

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