I see we have uh, some pumpkins here

[Cliff Claven voice] It’s a little-known fact that the, uh, pumpkin is actually a fruit. [twiddles paws]


They won’t mind if I, uh, have a taste, there. [chews seeds]


Just a little gnawin’ woooon’t hurt ’em. Perfectly reasonable for this time of, uh year there.


Well, I might as well climb on in. [sighs]

Did you know the name pumpkin orginated from "pepon"—the uh, Greek word for "large melon"?


Hey! [echoes] even more seeds!


You know, roasted, they make a nice uh, snack, there.


[chews] You know, it’s a little known fact that, uh, the largest pumpkin ever grown weighed 1,140 pounds.

Well, that about, does it there. [Looks around]


Nice work, sender-inner and T-shirt designer Tom 😉



  1. NebraskaErin says:

    Squirrel! So cute!

  2. How handy. No need for extra carving.

  3. “Every picture tells a story.”
    A-1 composition, Meg! (and awesome photo series, Tom)

  4. he doesnt look too slimy

  5. Evil! Evil, I tell you! EVIL!

    Apparently, you people never listen. Gaah…

    AND you think, along with the Washington Post, that this list is “cool”:


    Oh, the delusion!

  6. Awww, what a little fatty! I love him!

  7. He’s a mischievous munchkin!

    s’ok, J.Bo, calm down, take a few deep breaths and put the knife away.

    “Gray squirrels are called “living fossils” because they haven’t changed much in 37 million years.”

    Hey, land sharks!

  8. Allie and Jojo's Mom says:

    Cute!! I want! He’s gonna win the punkin carvin contest this year if it kills him!

  9. Allie and Jojo's Mom says:

    Cute!! I want! He’s gonna win the punkin carvin contest this year if it kills him!

  10. Allie and Jojo's Mom says:

    Cute!! I want! He’s gonna win the punkin carvin contest this year if it kills him!

  11. Allie and Jojo's Mom says:

    Cute!! I want! He’s gonna win the punkin carvin contest this year if it kills him!

  12. Allie and Jojo's Mom says:

    Cute!! I want! He’s gonna win the punkin carvin contest this year if it kills him!

  13. Allie and Jojo's Mom says:

    Cute!! I want! He’s gonna win the punkin carvin contest this year if it kills him!

  14. Tony James says:

    Got to lofs da fat squirrels 🙂 Bit worried about the “You know, roasted, they make a nice uh, snack, there” thing, though – I’m *hoping* that it’s referring to roasted pumpkin seeds, and not [gulp] roasted squirrels…


    Looks like he’s carving himself a Jack-o-lantern. I LOF JoLs.

    *suddenly sober*

    I want my mom’s pumpkin sambhar. NOW.

    *much profane grumbling*

    Darn hostel food.

  16. leprechaun says:

    Awwww! The T-shirts are cute, too! Double-whammy!

  17. So cute! I love these grey little fat ones I have so far only seen in the US. They are so fluffy and pompous and full of themselves… Before that I was only familiar with these slim and quick little fellas:
    They are cute, too, but also somehow much more michievous and sometimes just plain cranky…

  18. I lof the first pict, such a skwrl posture: “Erm, whaddo I do next, uh, I gotta always be doing something but *what*, what was it…?”

  19. NO WAY! So what you’re tellin me is that this Tom, if that is in fact his name, sat out on his front porch and watched this skwerl, who may or may not be “pure evil” as J. Bo would have us believe, gnaw through a pumpkin. How long does a thing like that take???

  20. leprechaun says:

    Jaypo, maybe he’s saying, “Did I leave the gas on…?”

  21. Oooh I wonder if the skwerly is going to toast those pumpkin seeds in the oven. Toasted pumpkin seeds with salt are very yummy!

  22. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Just Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  23. Um OK, how does this work now? Lessee…

    Just got an email from Denita TwoDragons, who is in the process of moving to the quirky new (very very very fine) house, and has very very very limited internet at the mo’. She wanted to say:

    “…I was trying to get my daily CO fix but
    I’m having some problems loading the page (slow POS dial-up
    grumblegrumble…) and I can’t comment at all! Can you just pass along the
    word that I miss everyone and to please huff a kitten-belly for me…?

    “We should be relatively finished by the end of this week, if not earlier,
    I should be back to groaning at Aubrey’s puns before the weekend… 😉 “


  24. I’m guessing the first two photos were one sequence, and the next three were taken at a different time. Tom may not have had to sit there and wait for the whole hole on the back to be chewed out.

    Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to the other Canadian peeps out there. (Day off work, woo hoo!)

  25. Janni, thanks for the link. Those European red squirrels are WAY cuter than the big ol’ grey ones. EAR TUFTS!!!

  26. how nice to be a plump little skrillo. you can have a tasty meal, and make yourself a handy shelter at the same time.

  27. Subhangi–what is pumpkin sambhar? Can we make it in the US or does it have hard to find ingredients?

    Squirrels rule! We have about 26 in our yard and they taunt the cats unmercifully.

  28. chet's momma says:

    i love the first pic…squirrel looks so humble and innocent, and THEN…destruction far and wide!

  29. chet's momma says:

    i love the first pic…squirrel looks so humble and innocent, and THEN…destruction far and wide!

  30. chet's momma says:

    i love the first pic…squirrel looks so humble and innocent, and THEN…destruction far and wide!

  31. chet's momma says:

    i love the first pic…squirrel looks so humble and innocent, and THEN…destruction far and wide!

  32. chet's momma says:

    i love the first pic…squirrel looks so humble and innocent, and THEN…destruction far and wide!

  33. chet's momma says:

    i love the first pic…squirrel looks so humble and innocent, and THEN…destruction far and wide!

  34. Mamadawn –

    Sambhar is kinda like a thicker version of Mulligatawny soup … the base is veggies boiled in mashed lentils instead of just veggies boiled in water.

    It’s easy to make, tastes yum too. Lets see … turmeric, lentils, veggie(s) of your choice, salt … I’ll have to ask my mom for the *exact* ingredients, though. 😉

    (Oh, and you can even put in a boiled egg or two.)


  35. Peg of Tilling says:

    The squirrel would have brought his wife but he couldn’t keep her…’cause his name is Peter. And he’s a pumpkin-eater. You know.

  36. RE: New houses and skwerls

    We also just moved into a new-to-us house. The back yard is about a foot overgrown, with oak and pecan trees. While I’m looking out over my meadow, half a dozen of the little spiffies leap up out of the grass and chatter at each other, then plunge back into the grass for more nuts.

    Skwerls–they’re like the dolphins of the midwestern backyard.

  37. Eviiiil!!!!

  38. bunnajenny says:

    PegofT – you stole my brain! I was looking at the photos humming that little ditty – eh voila ze comment appears.

  39. that happens everytime we put a pumpkin outside.. which is why we don’t do that anymore. It only takes like 2 days for the squirrels to bore right through the thing and start eating it from the inside out. It’s funny as hell but when you spend $10 on a pumpkin you plan on having for a couple weeks.. it’s a wee bit annoying 😛

  40. Ooooo, I just LOVE fat squirrels! I wants to squeeze that juicy baby!

    Besides loving their cuteness, I also like that they seem to enjoy life an awful lot. The world can be a hard place on critters, but squirrels seem to have a great sense of fun despite the dangers life holds.

  41. [threadjack]The *new* largest pumpkin ever grown weighs in at 1,502 lbs. Check the “Strange News” section of http://www.comcast.net
    or just click/copy here:
    Back on-topic, cutest use of Cliff-Clavin-voice *evar*! *smiles*

  42. P.S. A few autumns ago, my parents put decorative corn shocks out on the front porch. The squirrels stripped the stalks bare in about three days. For the next several springs, my parents had corn growing all over the front and back yards … which, surprisingly, my dad thought was pretty funny.

  43. Thanks Aquila, I was going to post a link to that 1500+ pound punkin!

    And peeps, did you see the baby pirate T-shirt on Tom’s site? Arrrrrrgh.

  44. [quote]Skwerls–they’re like the dolphins of the midwestern backyard.[/quote]

    Can I just say bwah! Teh funneh! LOL…

  45. Squeaky McFluffersons can chew thru my punkins anytime.. if he can get past the dogs, that is.. can just picture my Crabby McDoggersons sticking their snouts in that leetle squeerel hole and snorting at him. Anyway.. love that first picture.. finger twiddling.. *snicker* cute! 🙂

  46. Hey, no problem. I always want us to be updated and factually correct here on CO! But seriously, Tom *needs* a bebeh puppeh shirt on his site–
    Just for balance’s sake, since I’m one of those odd “cat people” *wink* (And I won’t specify which kind…*smirks* 😉 )

  47. That’s PAW-twiddling. Sorry.

    And in the 2nd picture I would like to skritch his soft belly fur! 🙂

  48. Know what this skwerl needs? A sweater. Obvy–since the punkins are out, the weather is getting brisk.

  49. la dee da says:

    i thought it was just me that this happened too !!! i have never had this happen until the last 3 years !!!! are there more hungry squirrels ??????

  50. I love how squirrels hold their paws to their chests. Like, moi? He made himself a little house and a snack. How clever!

  51. A thinker says:


    Love the fact that the chew marks in the third photo look like a skwerl impact crater (minus the tail). Think skwerlikins here is trying to send us some kind of subliminal message (or maybe it’s a gang tag indicating the skwerls’ evil plot to take over the world).

  52. Too cute. The herd of squirrels in my backyard (little fatsos from eating all the *bird* food) are having a regualr hootenanny with the bumper crop of walnuts this year. They *hid* one on top of my gas meter…

  53. Actually, the largest pumpkin ever grown weighed 1502 pounds, beating the previous record by 38 lbs. It was on Good Morning America today.

    Can you imagine how many squirrels would fit in THAT sucker?

  54. Cute series, but sounds like this is a genuine problem for some. Would that hot pepper spray stuff (on the punkin) help prevent skwirls from eating punkins?

  55. ceejoe, LOL! If they can’t see it, no one can!

    One time my accelerator kept getting stuck, totally unpredictable. Then my mechanic pulled out a hickory nut some Mr. Nutkins had hidden under the accelerator cables!

    BTW, here’s Tom taking picts of the pumpkin-eater so you can see how it was done:


  56. Netherland Dwarf rabbit, owner!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ says:

    That thar be th cutest squirrel raid of a punkin I ever seed! Hold on,that thar’s th only pics I have ever seed of a squrrel raidin’a punkin!

    (miss spellings on purpose. country pumkin er uh country bumkin accent so I could play up the word seed…(s) )

  57. Love the first picture where the squirrely looks like it’s cleaning the dirt from its fingernails. The contrast between the European and American sqirrels amuses me.=}

  58. Netherland Dwarf rabbit, owner!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ says:

    Thanks D T D for passing along the collective “I miss everyone” message

    & Theo for posting the EM message.
    Happy moving…*See* ya soon back on C O.

    You can read this & others messages back to you upon your return via archive.(but you know that…LOL!)

    signed, one of the “everyone” ‘s!

  59. Squirrels raid my pumpkins every year, and I don’t mind. They do get awfully slimey after a while (the squirrels, not the pumpkins). I always save a couple inside the garage,for Jack o’lanterns.
    This lil’ feller’s awfully cute!!

  60. (Um, I meant I save PUMPKINS in the garage for Jack o’ lanterns, not squirrels. Just to be clear.)

  61. HeidStar, I agree on the ear tufts! 🙂 Plus I love the foxy colour. But to me, grey skwerls look like characters from Disney cartoons, all plump and squeezable…

  62. Yeah, they’re cute, to a point. We had one this past spring build his nest in the oh-so-cozy engine compartment of my hubby’s beloved Jeep. TWICE in the same week!!! Cost us over $1,000 to fix all the damage.

    I’d rather they chewed on the pumpkins…

  63. awww thats sweet!i like squirrels i think theyr nice^^

  64. What a gorgeous plump lil’ sqwrl! I am fascinated by these guys; I love that he carved his own pumpkin!

    Mmm, pumpkin seeds….

  65. Janni, oh they’re plump alright. ‘specially if the neighbor’s trash happens to be their favorite 24-7 All U Kan Eat Boo-fay.

  66. *boggles* Grey skwerls! I’ve never actually seen any in person (the ones we have down here in Texas are the Fox variety (reddish-orange underbelly & under-tail)! These fellows are quite cute!

    I dread the day we move in to a house and have to deal with squirrels nesting in the attic/roof, like my mom does.

  67. I live in the city, work at a university in the suburbs. The suburban squirrels are extremely plump, much larger overall, have plush coats, and tend to be rather, well, stupid. The city squirrels are small, wiry, often don’t look quite right (tho it’s hard to figure out what, exactly, is wrong), but are clearly quite intelligent, I’m sure through necessity. I have a lot of respect for those urban squirrels and would hate to have to match wits against one. I’d probably lose!

  68. We had a squirrel get into our gutters and dig a hole in our closet. I went upstairs and was looking for a pair of shoes when I saw a squirrel nose peeking through a hole.

    They’re so darn cute, but do they have to cause property damage? My landlord was not pleased…

  69. (Regarding the last photo in the series)

    This just in…

    Skwerl-eating pumpkin loses its lunch. Flim at eleven…

  70. thats a fat sqweewel XD

  71. mickeyfinn says:

    “did i leave the gas on…of course not, i’m a squirrel!”

    thank you for that reference, it made me chuckle.

  72. leprechaun and mickeyfinn, I think it’s clear he longs for a grapefruit…

  73. For those who complain of squirrel damage to their houses, cars, birdfeeders, pumpkins, etc… just remember that the squirrels have been here in North America for about 37 million years longer than we have, so they have every right to act as if they own the place.

    This does not apply to GRAY squirrels in Britain, but it does to red ones.

    Brits, we’ll take back the squirrels if you folks take back your blasted starlings and “house sparrows” (actually finches) which have driven out so many of our native birds.

    Love the tail sticking out of the pumpkin, by the way.

  74. Yes, Zap, but they managed for those 37 million years WITHOUT houses, cars, or birdfeeders.

    I’m just sayin’.

    (AND they’re evil.)

  75. Brak_Silverbone says:

    That’s one fat skwrl. There’s a lady at my job who puts birdseed out for the birds every day before work, and of course the skwrls help themselves too. Thus, all the skwrls in the neighborhood around my job are as big as housecats.

    And? There’s nothing better than home-roasted pumpkin seeds made with worcestershire sauce!!

  76. neveth, where in texas do you live? i’ve never seen a red squirrel in my life! i grew up in houston and have lived in austin and the grey squirrels are rampant. weird.

  77. little miao says:

    awwww, squirrels are so lovable and clever, that’s the cutest squirrel sequence ever…

  78. Here in the Santa Cruz Mountains (California) I’ve seen some rather sinister-looking, large black skwerls. Then I read on the internet that the black squirrel is a myth. But I’ve seen them! They were kind of alarming somehow.

  79. mitsu, I’ve never seen a black squirrel in California, but they are the majority variety in Toronto.

    They’re very hostile.

    (And evil.)

  80. little miao says:

    I’ve seen black squirrels in the Midwest. They were very sweet and shy. None so far on the east coast, though.

  81. Ahem… [puts on glasses, gets ready to begin modest lecture]

    Black squirrels are commen in various northeastern areas. I first saw them at my alma mater, Haverford College (outside of Philadelphia). In fact, Haverford’s mascot is a black squirrel.

    I have also seen them in various locales in New York City, including Stuyvesant (sp?) Town/Peter Cooper Village. There is also quite a large black squirrel population in Toronto, Ontario.

    They tend to be a little less fluffy and plump than their grey counterparts, and when you look at them close up they appear to be very dark brown.

    They’re pretty cool.

    [end modest lecture]

  82. A lecturer should know how to spell. That’s “common”, not “commen”. Sorry for the typo.

  83. Squirrel Nutkin says:

    Privacy hedges, a manicured lawn, lush plantings, a circular drive, a formal entry where one is greeted by lions as they step onto an expanse of brickwork…who knew making t-shirts was such a lucrative business!

    It obviously affords one lots of time for picture taking.

  84. little miao says:

    Thank you, Alexis, for the excellent lecture. I shall have to watch for them more vigilantly here in New England.

    I can testify that there is a modest population of black squirrels in Wisconsin. They are lithe and would make the perfect companions for Halloween jack o’ lanterns.

  85. >>They are lithe and would make the perfect companions for Halloween jack o’ lanterns.< <

    (For EVIL jack o’lanterns, maybe…)

  86. Thank you, Alexis. I’m really into scholarly lectures, actually. Perhaps your Alma Mater is a participant in the campus squirrel listings? The black ones I saw were in the hills above UCSC, but I don’t find them noted here.


  87. HeidStar,
    “24-7 All U Kan Eat Boo-fay”
    I haven’t heard the European ones going through people’s trashes, but they do vandalize attics and bird feeders. I call them granny-kickers since they sometimes seem to be ready to snatch your purse…

  88. T., “Every Picture Tells A Story”:

    Spent some time in a pumpkin’s interior
    The world seemed to look much clearer
    Combed my tail in a thousand ways
    but I came out looking just the same

    Daddy said, “Son, you better start to burrow
    I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave
    But remember one thing don’t lose your head
    And don’t forget where you buried your bread”
    So I got out

    A patio’s a place you could hide away
    if you felt you didn’t fit in
    J.Bo wouldn’t cease, wouldn’t give me no peace
    And claimed I was a nasty person
    Down along the brick floor minding my own
    Was the subject of a CO stampede
    Got photographed while following my healthy diet
    When I asked why all
    Tom told to me:
    That I was Cute
    I moved on

    With all the pumpkin I’ve chewed
    I can’t even tie my shoe
    But that’s still a small price to pay
    But now nothing can ever
    knock me off my feet
    Pumpkin’s the best that can be found, sure!
    And if I could speak words, then I could tell to you
    to help you on the way down the road
    I couldn’t quote you no Pecans, Shells or Pea(nuts)
    ’cause it’s all been said before
    Make your nest out of the best then laugh it off
    Autumn’s gonna be here anyway
    So remember, every picture tells a story don’t it
    Every picture tells a story don’t it
    Every picture tells a story don’t it…

  89. [real applause, since I don’t golf]
    [sudden craving for a story donut]

  90. Black squirrels were all over the place in southwestern Michigan when I went to college there, and we’ve got them in northern Illinois, though they’re not nearly as common as grey squirrels. Saw an oddly marked one on Saturday with a brown head and brown band down the spine with silvery sides, odd enough to make four grown people stop painting to stare out the window at it. ‘Course, we were all happy to have any excuse to take a break.

  91. We’ve got black squirrels here in my little Ohio college town. The head groundskeeper at the university brought two of them back from Canada in the 1960s to add a little intrigue to the campus.
    I worked at a vet years ago, and hand-raised one who’d fallen out of it’s nest. Some well-meaning kids brought him in, not realizing if they’d left him alone, mom would have managed to get him back into the nest. But they didn’t know, and their intentions were good.
    ‘Squirt’ was a spitfire, but darn cute as hell. Let him loose in my parents yard when he was old enough, and he was a fave of the neighbors. He’d go up to everyone’s kitchen windows and bang on the glass hoping for a handout!

  92. Actually, at the pumpkin weigh-off in Northern California, the winner was 1,208.5 pounds. New record. (Last year’s winner was 1200 pounds.)

  93. Thanks, mitsu! I checked out the link, and lo and behold Haverford was listed (at the very bottom, though…).

    The report was pretty accurate, though I haven’t been a student there in a good 7 years or so. They forgot to mention, however, that a majority of the incidents in the crime blotter use to revolve around squirrels either breaking-and-entering or stealing Swedish fish.

  94. Hooray for Aubrey!

    And don’t bogart those story donuts, Theo…

  95. Janni:

    There are different species of squirrels all over. Fox Squirrels are common stateside as they deal with humans and accompanying animals (such as dogs) much better than grey squirrels do. Most of Eurupe, however, has these guys with the ear tufts: http://www.mammalogy.org/mil_images/images/mid/1106.jpg

  96. Ohhh what a cute little photographic series! What a cute little squirrel!

    How did he manage not to get all slimy?

    This reminds me of a time a squirrel in my roof chewed a hole through my ceiling, and then tripped in it, and got his foot stuck through the hole, into my room, and woke me up screaming about it, and I had to get up and push his foot back through.

  97. That squirrel’s prices are… pretendous.

  98. TastesLikeChicken says:

    REALLY, REALLY, REALLY EVIL. A squirrel ate the wiring in my kitchen so the lights allfailed and it had to be rewired and then chewed through the dishwasher hose so it leaked under the cabinets for weeks. And the holes in the walls were HUGE. Gets out sqirrel voodoo doll – stab! Stab! STAB! Frightens self, puts down knife and slides away avoiding eye contact.

  99. Is there a campus and black squirrel connection? I recall them around ol’ Sarah Lawrence College, in Westchester county, NY… *ponders*

  100. R.Moore, thanks for informing me that there actually is an animal called “fox squirrel”… I was calling our European squirrel “foxy” or something similar because of the red colour. You learn something new every day! 🙂

  101. I looked at the squirrel/campus link and was proud to see my alma mater, Hope College, on the list! Nice to know the place is still squirrel infested.

  102. Janni:

    Always glad to help 🙂
    I was actually told this tidbit by a former supervisor, who said that he had to study SOMETHING to get a Biology degree 😛

  103. Just more proof that squirrels are EVIL. Trying to wreck Halloween like this, for shame! 🙂

  104. “im in ur pumpkins steeling ur seedz”


  105. This guys sounds exactly like Gopher from Winnie-the-Pooh!