WAY TOO MANY joke possibilities…

by Meg on September 12, 2006

TOO…

MUCH…

JOKE…

POTENCH!

MUST…

REFRAIN!

Too_many_jokes

Seriously, John M., you’ve GOT to be kidding.

{ 112 comments }

1 falnfenix 09.12.06 at 1:11 pm

bahahah…lapkitty…hee

2 falnfenix 09.12.06 at 1:11 pm

sidenote – can i have a lapkitty? it’s cold in my office today, and a lapkitty would keep me all warm and toasty.

3 Katy 09.12.06 at 1:13 pm

Heh. LAP SHARK.

…or other things. *cough*

4 maymee 09.12.06 at 1:17 pm

Hey look at her cat.
*cough cough*

5 Redzilla 09.12.06 at 1:17 pm

Whew! Those pantyhose was cuttin’ off my oxygen!

6 StormCat 09.12.06 at 1:20 pm

Man, the cat almost matches the coloring of the skirt!!!!

Gee, that’s a nice…Um… Pussy…CAT you have there…

I tried to resist it, it didn’t work…

7 StormCat 09.12.06 at 1:21 pm

I just realized that cat almost looks like one of those Gremlins off the movie! Wierd…

8 Linda 09.12.06 at 1:29 pm

BWAHAHAHA! There definately no need to point out the obvious!

9 martha in mobile 09.12.06 at 1:33 pm

I need a kitty like that for when my daughter becomes a teenager. She looks like a living chastity belt.

10 Allegra 09.12.06 at 1:39 pm

is she drawing a storyboard? I go to art school so i WOULD notice these things :)

11 Laurie C 09.12.06 at 1:39 pm

Here there be tygers.

12 jaypo 09.12.06 at 1:40 pm

I’m not touching that with a ten-foot pole…

Cute kitty cat!! Such a cute kitty!

13 Rich Fader 09.12.06 at 1:46 pm

Oh, hell no. You’ll ban me if I caption that.

14 Theo 09.12.06 at 1:48 pm

Dammit, Laurie C!
(Anyway, yeah, that’s about perfect. Nice.)

15 Javene 09.12.06 at 1:48 pm

Heh, I bet she keeps that kitty PURRRRRRR-ing!

16 Sassy 09.12.06 at 1:49 pm

So is this the new category, Cats in Laps?

17 Lindr 09.12.06 at 1:55 pm

Oww….biting my tongue…biting my tongue

18 Cranky 09.12.06 at 1:57 pm

BWWWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! I’m in pain and that’s STILL funny!!! How the heck is that cat situated?!?!? *teehee* *snort* **gigglegiggle**

19 A thinker 09.12.06 at 2:00 pm

LOL!

At last, a cat performing a useful function by becoming a support for writing paper, rather than lying ON it so that it’s impossible to use…

20 lemura 09.12.06 at 2:00 pm

My what a big sweet…

Nevermind!

21 cee 09.12.06 at 2:10 pm

can you say PG-13?

22 Theo 09.12.06 at 2:13 pm

Yep, sure can.

23 DavidBoBavid 09.12.06 at 2:14 pm

yeah this one is easy and too dirty..

rofl..

24 jaypo 09.12.06 at 2:16 pm

How’s that kitty fly with those wings?

25 DPOI 09.12.06 at 2:18 pm

A kitty hiding in the bush? ;)

26 greenighs 09.12.06 at 2:22 pm

Begs the question … do the drapes match the kitteh?

27 Mystery Wolf 09.12.06 at 2:37 pm

Kitteh doesn’t look to comfurrtable. That design on the skirt kinda looks like the one I saw on a curtain the other day… ahaha

28 you guys r silly 09.12.06 at 2:40 pm

Why am I thinking of the well known saying:
“A kitteh in hand is worth two in the bush”.
&:o?
??????

29 Not That Mike The Other Mike 09.12.06 at 2:46 pm

GREAT MOMENTS IN PURITANISM, part 5

Medieval knights away fighting the Crusades, often for years at a time, resorted to elaborate and often comical schemes and devices to ensure the faithfulness of their wives during their long absences.

But perhaps none was stranger than the “chastity kitty,” a specially-trained attack cat who would ferociously guard his mistress’ virtue, often stationing himself at “ground zero” to maintain total vigilance.

30 Lawrence 09.12.06 at 2:46 pm

Hahahahahahaha…. too cute and farnnyy!!! Too precious!!!

=D

31 Not That Mike The Other Mike 09.12.06 at 2:53 pm

Oh — Props to “martha in mobile” for having the “chastity belt” idea first.

32 you guys r silly 09.12.06 at 2:58 pm

Is it ok to say that
*SOMEBODY*
needs a
*SERIOUS*
BIKINI WAX
???

33 Bowen29 09.12.06 at 3:01 pm

(In Eastern Bloc accent)”Would you like to touch my pussy?”

34 jaypo 09.12.06 at 3:05 pm

All I can think of when I look at this is Tattoo You…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:TattooYou81.jpg

35 Redzilla 09.12.06 at 3:06 pm

The new line of feminine hygiene products…by Meow Mix.

36 Redzilla 09.12.06 at 3:09 pm

The British remake of “That Darn Cat!” Coming this summer: “That Bloody Cat!”

>>creeps away apologetically.
So ashamed of myself.

37 Mina 09.12.06 at 3:11 pm

PUSSY CAT!!

38 Theo 09.12.06 at 3:13 pm

Looking at this photo, I am reminded not of Aubrey, but of That Other Aubrey:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/aubrey+the+arse+hamster/

39 o 09.12.06 at 3:16 pm

Hey, nice pussy!

Hey, and did you also notice the cat?

(I will understand if CO bans me from here, but hey, I can’t resist! It’s just so easy!)

40 thehawke 09.12.06 at 3:27 pm

That DAM CAT!

41 Martha 09.12.06 at 3:39 pm

omg I’ve damaged several internal organs trying not to think…

42 Lisa 09.12.06 at 4:12 pm

Only one thing comes to mind and it really not worth saying it aloud.

43 Layla 09.12.06 at 4:15 pm

NTMTOM, you almost made me shoot hot coffee out of my nose.

44 Mad_Mike 09.12.06 at 4:15 pm

‘Seen one, seen ‘em all’, eh?

I don’t THINK so….

45 Aubrey 09.12.06 at 4:17 pm

What did the Cat Nip to get in there?

46 Danielle 09.12.06 at 4:20 pm

Theo . . I can’t believe you went there. You, too, o, Redzilla, Mina (ad nozeum infinitum) . . .
Nope, can’t let you run down the hallways of CO with scissors like that.
I’m afraid each of you shall have to have a full body bikini waxing.
Then you can have your scissors back. The blunt-end ones.

47 PuppyMomma 09.12.06 at 4:20 pm

Is anyone else hearing Mrs. Slocum from Are You Being Served? in their head?

48 mariser 09.12.06 at 4:44 pm

PuppyMomma sez,
“Is anyone else hearing Mrs. Slocum from Are You Being Served? in their head?”

[raises hand]

49 Tracy 09.12.06 at 4:57 pm

I’m quite partial to “Lap Shark,” like Katy said….

Tracy < ---who has only the purest thoughts ;)

50 Rafael 09.12.06 at 4:58 pm

So “Kitty” likes company? Who knew!

51 Rafael 09.12.06 at 4:59 pm

Birds of a feather????

52 Jenni 09.12.06 at 5:20 pm

Sing it with me, a la Tom Jones…

“whats new pussycat, whooooah, oh whooahhhh whoah whoah…”

53 Mel 09.12.06 at 5:29 pm

A Chas-Kitty belt!

On another note…somewhere there is a groovy 60s sofa with no upholstery.

54 AuntieMame 09.12.06 at 5:31 pm

“Is anyone else hearing Mrs. Slocum from Are You Being Served? in their head?”

I wasn’t until you said something, but now I totally am.

“Look through my letterbox and if you can see my pussy, drop a sardine on the mat.”

…pause…

“Mr. Akbar, how DARE you!!”

55 Piggalette 09.12.06 at 6:02 pm

One word: dirty.

56 Danielle 09.12.06 at 6:06 pm

AuntieMame- Thank you so much for explaining Mrs. Slocum to the rest of the class. I was lost. But now I am found.

57 saska 09.12.06 at 6:09 pm

Those… those are not boots.

58 smeeta 09.12.06 at 6:18 pm

can i pet it?

hehe

does anyone else think that the cat looks eeeeeerily human?

59 Badkittie 09.12.06 at 6:24 pm

Now that is a bad bad kittie…Rawr!

60 sky217 09.12.06 at 6:24 pm

are you kidding me?!? am i really the first one to metion the obvious????

is that a kitty in your lap or are you just happy to see me?

:D and to all a great day!!

61 Aubrey 09.12.06 at 6:28 pm

I was tryinig to access these delightfully rude comments, but I kept getting a message: “Pop-up window blocked”.

Duh!

62 MamaDawn 09.12.06 at 6:34 pm

Mary had a kitty cat
she kept it in her lap
When anyone would pet the cat
She’d give their face a slap.

63 georgia 09.12.06 at 6:43 pm

Do you have a copy of Puss and Boots please.

64 hrh.squeak 09.12.06 at 7:50 pm

The poor cat. He looks seriously annoyed. Perhaps he can hear us . . . . “Hey. We’re just spending quality time here. Knock it off with the rude remarks already. I Mean It.”

65 Laurie C 09.12.06 at 8:08 pm

Boxcar cat update, for those of you following the saga:
Here’s a laugh. It turns out that the momcat we trapped Sunday night was not pregnant after all. She was just tubby from eating so much with the constant supply of food! It’s actually kind of nice that a feral cat is overweight instead of starving.

66 timmy 09.12.06 at 8:21 pm

Hey Ted….
is that a cat in your lap or are you just happy to see me

67 Anita 09.12.06 at 8:35 pm

That’s one evil-looking kitty! There’s TEETH in that end! ;)

68 Theo 09.12.06 at 8:41 pm

Laurie C — *whew*
So, caught her in time, then?

69 abhorsen1983 09.12.06 at 8:48 pm

“just one step closer and the skirt gets it!”

70 Laurie C 09.12.06 at 8:51 pm

Theo – yes! Before she got knocked up again! Two others are actually pregnant and due to deliver…any…time…now.

71 kate xyz 09.12.06 at 8:53 pm

Is that me or that cat is looking exactly like Dobby in Harry Potter??? Same head…same eyes!

*Bang* Bad bad Dobby! *Bang*

72 Aubrey 09.12.06 at 9:03 pm

Is this cat skirting the issue?

And LC – such a relief! I’m glad this makes your work at least a tiny bit easier. Keep us posted on the other two mums-to-be!

73 JoannaO 09.12.06 at 9:04 pm

Does anyone remember the Johnny Carson joke/urban legend? http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/zsazsa.htm

74 lurkertype 09.12.06 at 9:17 pm

Yay, LC!

This kitteh is a tortie. That explains everything.

75 lauowolf 09.12.06 at 10:21 pm

Only way to keep cat off notebook.
(Congrats, LC)

76 Two Sheds Jackson 09.12.06 at 10:25 pm

mariser – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Are_You_Being_Served%3F

I can’t believe ‘Are You Being Served?’ has a wikipedia page!!! Bizzaromundo!

I grew up with this show and watched it go through the ‘looked down upon’ stage to the ‘retro cool’ stage.
And I love Mrs Slocum and her pussy.

77 lauowolf 09.12.06 at 10:29 pm

Lurkertype–
So what IS it with Torties anyway?
We inherited one and we’re still trying to figure her out.
–Three cats and a Tortie

78 Q 09.12.06 at 10:44 pm

It’s okay to love your pet, just don’t LOVE your pet.

79 Nita 09.12.06 at 11:36 pm

This reminds me of a “thing” a good friend and I had with each other. We’d look at each other coyly, spread our legs and say: “Meow”…

80 mariser 09.12.06 at 11:43 pm

lauowolf,

as someone who shared living quarters with Her Highness Tortie (HHT) until her demise, I feel qualified to advise you to give a title to yours. we commoners must address royalty appropriately.
HHT permitted my SO to address her as “Jessie” but that permissiveness was not, alas, extended to me.
actually, I was lucky HHT allowed me to live. at all.

81 mariser 09.12.06 at 11:44 pm

2SJ,

Bizzaromundo indeed. I think *everyone* who knew them loved Mrs. Slocum and her pussy.

82 lurkertype 09.13.06 at 12:31 am

Torties will settle for being royalty most days. Some days they will insist upon being goddesses. Either way, anger them not. Do what they want and things will go better for you.

Also, they’re nuts.

83 DLT 09.13.06 at 12:51 am

on the “are you being served” thread…

*kitty pops head up*
“are you free?”

can ya see it? can ya see it?

84 rpennefe 09.13.06 at 1:08 am

Again with the HHT – do you know that I adopted almost four years ago now and, until you folks mentioned it today, it never occurred to me that there is something about torties.

I’m lucky that I’m my tortie’s favorite, eh? She lets me act as a bed for her, she even lets me call her many, many nicknames…you know…princess, angel face, baby girl. I must be a natural at groveling appropriately to HHR, huh?

85 BCteagirl 09.13.06 at 1:12 am

AYBS rules! I’m free! Or in this case, no I am currently not free :P

86 Clotypus 09.13.06 at 1:28 am

Cats ‘n’ Crotches! :D

87 muse 09.13.06 at 1:55 am

Redzilla, Bloody actually is a corruption of “By Our Lady,” it doesn’t have anything to do with pussies, feline or otherwise.

88 Laurie C 09.13.06 at 2:05 am

ANOTHER Boxcar Cat Update!
We rescued two kittens tonight from the site! Two orange tabbies, who will stay in my trapping partner’s bathroom until the rescue group opens up some official foster spaces for them. And tomorrow we go out after the third one in the litter, a brown tabby. Digital photos will be taken tomorrow night by a friend and posted as soon as possible for the mighty Peeps to see.

89 Theo 09.13.06 at 2:17 am

PINTLIONSPINTLIONSGIMMEGIMMEGIMME!!!

90 Laurie C 09.13.06 at 2:20 am

They’re fierce little guys, too. When put in a (deep) empty bathtub in my friend’s place after rescue, they shot around it like pinballs, trying to climb the sides to get out.

91 Laurie C 09.13.06 at 2:23 am

Last detail: a heavy downpour was forecast this evening for Toronto. But the Thing high atop the Whatever must have been smiling on us poor trappers, because the rain held off until the very moment we headed off home, kittens secured. Only then did the drops start to fall…

92 Aubrey 09.13.06 at 2:38 am

They are pinball kitters
Not afraid to take a risk
Those pinball kitters
Don’t know what they’ve just missed…

“How does LC do it?”
“I don’t know!”
“What makes her so good?”

93 Laurie C 09.13.06 at 2:44 am

Ooh, look, I’m famed now in song and story! Thanks, Aubrey!

94 AuntieMame 09.13.06 at 2:51 am

Lauri C rules!

And I am unanimous in that!

95 Hardware 09.13.06 at 3:52 am

If you look at the hamster series in reverse, its like he squeezed the grape OUT of the hamster.

96 Lauri 09.13.06 at 10:28 am

Scrrrrrrreeeeeam!
(I am full of useful things to say this morning!)

97 maria 09.13.06 at 11:52 am

MEOW! THAT kitty has CLAWS! (…paging Dr. Freud? Dr. Sigmund Freud? …)

98 Michael 09.13.06 at 12:56 pm

My guess is the poor thing doesn’t extend back towards the book, but is in fact squeezed between the woman’s legs, the rest of it dangling underneath (and outside the picture), which would explain the irritated expression. But she’ll live through it.

99 Carlisa 09.13.06 at 1:54 pm

“Twat the…. ????????!!!!!”
(Ooops…typo ;)

And unlike it’s canine opposite, the… err..feline..has NINE lives!

100 Carlisa 09.13.06 at 2:10 pm

Hope she’s careful not to get powder in it’s eyes! :o (

101 I'll Never Tell 09.13.06 at 2:41 pm

and I am anonymous in this, AuntieMame!

102 octochan 09.14.06 at 3:05 am

actually the first thing that came to mind after seeing this picture was how much that cat’s face terrified me.

103 Josh 09.14.06 at 10:08 pm

Some one needs a bikini wax! Pronto!

104 CatFreak 09.14.06 at 11:48 pm

In my life, I have had one tortie and two calicos.

Both torties and calicos *are* nuts, and insist on being addressed as royalty or demigods, it’s true.

Neither a tortie nor a calico will *ever* do anything unless it is Her Idea. Even if it’s something she ordinarily likes to do.

105 CatFreak 09.14.06 at 11:50 pm

So ….. in addition to the “Cats ‘n’ Racks” category, are you going to start a “Cats ‘n’ ****s” category?

106 Cody 09.14.06 at 11:57 pm

Mrs. Slocumb: I’ll be up stroking my pussy all night

*sigh* we love that good ol’ pussy

107 Theo 09.15.06 at 3:42 am

Er… is that “Cats-n-Laps,” CatFreak?
;)

108 o 09.15.06 at 5:41 pm

Cat Freak: Yes, torties and callicos think they’re THE best and want to be treated as DEMIgods… but The absolute whackiest cats I ever owned was a CRAZY seal point siamese who thought she was WHOLEgod and went on leading her life treating us like her servants. And the voice, oh my cat…the VOICE on her…MAN. What a diva. I miss her…

But I recently gave a tortie kitten to a friend and apparently, she’s quite the diva as well! (um, the cat…not my friend!)

109 sharon 09.15.06 at 11:17 pm

Ban me if you must, but I can’t resist:

“The Vagina Monologues 2: If This P—y Could Talk”

110 o 09.15.06 at 11:28 pm

Oh. my God!

111 Jennifer 10.21.06 at 12:38 am

So I was looking around and suddenly Is ee this picture…..That’s my cat kartwheel! I ahd to give her and her sister up for adoption because of unforeseen events but OMG she’s just as cute as I remember. I’m glad she found a good home :)

112 gillette 10.21.06 at 10:28 am

Shouldn’t you shave that pussy?

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