It’s time to recycle yer old United Airlines napping mask, People. Check out "Warm Whiskers Eye Pillows". Warmed or chilled, these ani-pals will soothe you… (And entertain your friends to no end.)
You’ve GOT to be kidding me, sender-inner Clayton R. Do you have your PAWS ON THE PULSE* or what.The redonkulousness continues at Dream Essentials…
The best part is under the photo, it’s all: "May we suggest complimenting your purchase with a warm whiskers neck wrap?" UH, YES! YOU MAY!
*I did NOT just say that.
{ 227 comments }
oh, oh, oh! first? how cute! i like the blue kittie neck warmer!
Omigod! How adorable is that! I think I just found some purrfect Christmas presents! I want the kitty, too….
o. m. g.
TOO REDONK
Lawdy! Those are dangtastic!!!
Now I will look forward to having headaches!!!
How original is that?! A real life eye shnoggler that’s warm and cozy. Great idea! Will tell my Dad, sure he’ll be cool amongst his business pals with his sleeping friend on his face lol!
Must. Have. If I can’t have a kitten curled up on my head every night, this will be the next best thing.
Adorable! I have an office mate that has the cat neck wrap! It is really great!
I’ll be placing an orer – show of hands…
IWANTSIWANTSIWANTSIWANTSIWANTSIWANTS
IWANTSIWANTSIWANTSIWANTSIWANTSIWANTS
IWANTSIWANTSIWANTSIWANTSIWANTSIWANTS
whee! now that I got that out of the way…
Oh, they are cute…reminded me of these:
http://www.streamlinenyc.com/detail.php?product_cat_id=17&product_sub_cat_id=169
(and check out the yoga/pilates mats, omg too cute)
it’s a wholesale site though!
Um, do the kittens come in pink? If so, I’ll take 10.
Must. Have. Pink. Bunny.
I want one! Maybe it will get rid of those bags under my eyes. lol
oops here’s the retail site for the body pillows
http://www.karmakiss.com/detail.php?product_cat_id=17&product_sub_cat_id=142
I think I need one of those kitteh heated neck wraps…like NOW!!!
I’m getting very.very.sleepy…[honkshu, dreaming of happy puppies, fuzzy kitties, binky bunnies]
Check out the Pocket Critters! One of them is a penguin! (hey, how about some more penguin chick posts?)
http://www.dreamessentials.com/a_children_pocket_critters.aspx
I want them all. I REALLY need some Honk-shus now.
Attention Peeps, this just in from lauri’s vox – tomorrow is TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!
Spread the word (and the rum!)
ARRRRRRR!
Oh. Em. Friggin’. GEE!! That is Cee. Wye. Yoo. Tee!!
I’ll take one of each, please–and if they come out with a ferret-shaped one, money shall be no object. Stheewiouswy.
If they had a pig-shaped one, I’d get two for my Mom to add to her abounding collection…*LOL*
–TwoDragons
My sister has the kitty one, and it is ten times cuter in person than on the screen.
And who hasn’t thought that an Animal Masker-Aid wouldn’t be a spectacular idea?
Or would that be “would”? Would that I could tell.
Oh hell.
Oh well.
I have the puppy eye pillow and neck pillow. They are both wonderful, but it is more than a little disturbing to put a puppy in the microwave, even if it is a little stuffed one.
Ok, dammit, yes, I’m in! Gotta have that pink bunny! Too cute, too cute, too… *explodes*
I have the Kitty one…it’s right here, see? *holds it up* It’s cute as all get out and it is GREAT for migraines!!! My best friend gave me mine about 3 years ago, and it’s never out of my sight… And PussyToes is right, it’s way cuter than the pic….
These are indeed redonkulous. I want the neck-warmer!
And THEN I was browsing flickr this morning and found the “honk-honk-ashoo” pillow-headed pal vaguely resembling HK… (Who?)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/blueone/243393001/
The bunny slippers on that site are too cute too – even better than Pee Wee’s in Big Adventure.
Hm. The roomie already thinks I’m wonky enough since I sleep with two pillows and the comforter OVER my head… Time to buy stock in this company. Aiieee!
Subh, arrrready way ahead of ye, cully. As of yesterday. My big mare on a head-flipping spree clocked one of my friends in the face with her oversized nose, and poor Lee now has a black eye. The entire team has been doing pirate expressions ever since the incident. Maybe I ought to get her one of these eye pillows, since the offending horse *was* mine…
I vaguely remember something about tomorrow also being Butterscotch Pudding Appreciation Day. Or did we make that up? In which case it could be Talk Like a Pirate and Butterscotch Pudding Peep Appreciation Day.
AmyH, you beat me to it! I do believe Aubrey was the instigator of Pudding Day…and they do go excellently together, m’hearties.
oooooh! ME LIKE!!! I have a little Ferret thing like this for my eyes, but he’s filled with little flax and scented like lavender. mmmm.
Tomorrow we walk the puddin’ plank – together!
I already have a real cat that sleeps on my face, so I don’t need one of these, but they remind me of one of my favorite winter bed accessories, the Cozy Cookie (www.cozycookie.com). On especially cold winter nights, I heat mine up in the microwave, then snuggle up with it. Plus it smells yummy. (No, I don’t work for them, I just love my cookie!)
I have the l’il grey one. Highly recommended.
Aubrey — I am all of a-tremble with the anticipations.
Waaahhh! I’m sick, I have puffy eyes, and I want one of those! They could never ship if fast enough…
T.-
If you’re still trembling, you’re obviously not ready – or set. Back into the refrigerator with you.
I have a dilemma. Last year, my sister lost her cat companion of 14 years. She keeps the cat’s cremains on her nightstand. The Oreo Kitty neck warmer looks exactly like the Pinkie cat. Exactly. Part of me thinks it would be an awesome Cinemas gift. The other part of me wonders if it would the worst present evar. Thoughts?
AmyH: Control+Alt+Avast AmyH
Oh noes! MY PUDDINS IS PUDDLED!
It’s those tiger & polar-bear pix, dangit…
T:
Watching animals cuddled?
Is your mind become muddled?
In a bowl you stay huddled
To the fridge you are shuttled…
*giggles all around, folks*
These little eye snorglers ARE irresistable!
But, where are the Tiger Toe-lickers?
Arrrrrrrrr! Surrender the booty ye smarmy swabs!!!
Lauri — what side of the international date line are you on, anyway?
(You’re EARLY, girl!)
Aubrey –
http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/07/and_zee_entresh.html
Lauri – Awwrk! Save it for tomorrow! Awwrk!
(We’re allowed to talk like pirates’ parrots, too, right?)
pieces of eight! pieces of eight!
Teho those kitties look more like chocolate-vanilla swirl than butterscotch.
Cookies-N-Cream, BunnaJ.
I got butterscotch, I got vanilla, I got chocolate, I got cookies and cream, do I have any other requests?
it’s going to be a long night making all the different types of pudding…how do we get them down the internet pipes without clogging up the whole system?
HEY MICHIGAN PEEPS.
J & I will be in Ann Arbor this weekend. I’m thinking a Zingermans rendezvous might be a hoot. You like sandwiches, right? Really *good* ones? …I might even be able to wrangle my sister away from Baby Leroy (no, not his real name, sadly) for part of an afternoon, given the amount of grandparental resources she & her hubster have at their disposal.
Dunno if I can coordinate this right, so the scheduling & all works, but I’m gonna try. Email this address (copy-and-paste) if interested! Slashdotters also welcome.
cCkHcIFOHq0vgPV6@spambox.info
(Expires in a week. SpamBox is cool.)
Ann Arbor peeps have fun! Have an unhealthy amount of CHEESE and think of me!
BunnJ: I saw a puddin’ mix which included OREOS!! I’d like a vat, please. And as for internet pipe-age, try burning (not literally) all this good stuff on a CD (Cyber Dessert) disc. You can then make copies and distribute to many and all.
Avast ye pirates – I guess nobody here reads Patrick O’Brian novels? ‘Cause if ye did, ye’d alread KNOW that PUDDIN’ was a SHIP’S STAPLE back in de pi-rating dayz… (I’m not making this up, noooo…)
Speaking of on-board necessities… After Drink Like a Pirate Day (rum! yum!), I’ll need one of these very non-piratey eye patches.
EC:
I haven’t read the O’Brian novels, but I’ve read every one of the Pold-arrrrrrrrr-k ones. (they even have a P. theme park in Cornwall)
i wantone iwant one iwant one omg kitty on yer face w0000t
I wanna kitteh on my face and a kitteh around my neck, and a kitteh here, and a kitteh there, and a kitteh just everywhere!!
Meanwhile, about puddin’. And puddin’ flavors. I just googled the phrase pudding flavor and discovered that there is a sticky toffee pudding ice cream out there! (I can’t have sugar in real life, so I just gets my puddin’ on CO.) About the concern that the puddin’ will clog the internet pipes, long ago in a land far away (about 40 years far away) my friend and I sent virtual cookies through the phone, so I don’t think puddin’ should clog the lines if cookies didn’t. Unless it’s tapioca. Or rice puddin’. Or pirate puddin’. (The cross bones tend to catch on things.)
Aubrey, O’Brian is *so* much better than Winston Graham, but a tougher read.
Jack Aubrey (one of the main characters) is quite a punster, making me question the derivation of your screen name… Somehow I *don’t* think you were thinking of Mr. Beardsley!
ok, peeps, I just now emailed Cap’n Slappy and Ol’Chumbucket …
http://talklikeapirate.com/contact.html
asking them if they’d put in a guest appearance here tomorrow. Keep yer fingers crossed, maties, an’ pull hard, tomorry may be full of more than puddin!
There are “polders” in the Netherlands… They’ve got no arks, but perhaps they should.
EC:
I’ll have to look O’Brian up – it’s not the first time I’ve heard him recommended.
And dear Aubrey Vincent Beardsley is Exactly whom I was thinking of!
http://concise.britannica.com/ebc/art-59300
http://www.vam.ac.uk/images/image/13646-large.jpg
Is it just me, or is there anybody else who wants to take a sharpie marker and outline the puppy on her face before she wakes up?
useta hada kitteh: Have you tried Splenda instead? I don’t know where you are but here in the States you can find Jell-O sugar-free in chocolate and vanilla. Splenda is a thousand-teen times better than aspartame or saccharine. My Dad (Type II diabetic) and I (watching my intake) swear by it.
(If they did Stevia-sweetened pudding though, I’d be sooooooo there!)
–TwoDragons
Awwwww, shuckins…*shuffles feet sheepishly* I wuz jus practisin’ my pirateez!
As for the Zingerman’s get together blast and be damned I have to work ALL weekend!
I am sooo helpful, I picked up extra weekends this month.
Pffffft.
I think I am going to answer the hospital lab’s phone with “Arrrrrrr, Microbiology.”
Wonder how that will go over??
Thanks, D2D — I have so many allergies/sensitivities that I’m always nervous about trying something new, but maybe I’ll get brave enough someday to try Splenda. The taste of chocolate pudding on my tongue again would be worth it! Thanks again,
Useta eat puddin…back when I hada kitteh
I just heard from Mad Sally at TLAP. We’ll be having company on CO tomorrow…!!
Lauri — I’m tempted to have you post that phone number just so I can call and promptly keel (haul) over laughing.
Jaypo — W00.. erm, YARRRRR!!! ‘Tis rich enough news, to be surrre.
Quotin’ Mad Sally here:
“Dearest Plummetista,
If ye could send this request tomorrow to me, I will make sure one of the guys shouts out a word to ye online. I’m afraid we’ll forget to do it tomorrow… rum…
Scurvily,
Mad Sally”
Unfortunately, the internet is not a big truck, its just tubes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DClkE64nFDY
So pudding might get stuck. Unless the tubes were big.
Sigh, I guess Michigan is too far from Oregon to just run over, huh? Even in my Saucony’s.
AAARRRRRRRRRGH! It’s, not its!
“shouts out a word to ye online”. Shouts out? Peculiar pirate parlance, but it should be fun regardless.
No worries, Laurie lass. We were just jealous that you started without us.
YARRRRRR!!!!
Beyond this point, thar be PIRATES!!!
Ooo, jaypo! How fun!!
To arms,me mateys! Puddin’ and grog to me mates! Bilge water to the mangy Nuffingham curs!
I would post the number Teho, but ya know….we hates all da phone calls as it is!
When I used to work in the Blood Bank I would answer the phone “Blood Bath” and most people never even noticed. People as a whole are not real observant.
Peeps, here are some more photos of the most-recently rescued boxcar kittens, simply because you can never have too many kitten photos.
Also this is the first appearance of Kitten AA, who eluded us for three nights.
Kitten Y
http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/551852264/2515125740093663817GQJhDd
Kitten Z
http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/551852264/2903583560093663817wLGEjt
Kitten AA (rescued three days later)
http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/551852264/2077784270093663817cXpnDc
And Kitten AA again, out of the cage (sorry for the soft focus, no Photoshop)
http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/551852264/2986277060093663817BWPAPj
LC:
Such sweet pleading faces! Swearing by Judas’ breeches, they be mightily cute, ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
Spam cleanup on aisle 7 please…Spam cleanup on aisle 7…
–TwoDragons
Woa … anyone else see what looks like a game of Centipede in major attack mode?
Um, wouldn’t you feel bad putting one of those in the microwave to warm it up? I know I would.
Good one D2D! lol
Hold up your hands,,everyone that thought that was a real puppy;;;
Or am I the only one? p:
omg lol, SOOOO cute. A little animal sleeping on your face=)
Uhm, how about those microwavable bunny slippers on the same site? Aside from the weirdness of putting pink bunnies in the microwave, warm bunnies on your feet!
http://www.dreamessentials.com/a_relax_bunny_slippers.aspx
OK — When I first saw these guys this morning, they were still taking orders. I just went back to the website and all the puppies and kitties are sold out! Thanks, CuteOverload!
They should give you a commission, Meg!
Danielle: Thanks! I loved your comment, too! *LMAO!*
–TwoDragons
Shanchan, you posted what I was thinking!
“The internets is a series of tubes…” Ahhh, Colbert is love.
Will attempt to be around tomorry for the pudding-throwing-pirate bash. I shall bring… *looking up weird puddings on the internets* OH dear… “Spotted Dick and Treacle Sponge Pudding”? Sounds like that would clog up the tubes on teh internets.
We’ll stick with Pistachio.
ahoy and avast…
Aubrey! OK, I guess this is just weird, but the other day I was having a thought trail about your name, and decided it was most likely Beardsley based. W00t.
On the other paw, I am a HUGE Patrick O’Brian fan, so let’s get into pudding.
Anyone for some Spotted Dog? (that’s Aubrey the Captain’s favorite)
wo sabba, you were writing about Spotted Dick ~just~ as I was informing the peeps about Spotted Dog. Puddings of the world unite!
Misscrisp, great minds and Yahoo think somewhat along the same general lines.
Pudding is the world’s greatest unifier.
Misscrisp, in that great big Cafe Royal in the sky, Aubrey Beardsley is looking down and smiling, be sure of that.
Sabba, that would be ‘unifi-arrrrrrrrrr’.
Everyone, tomorrow when you sit down to your computer, CO bound, please see to it that you have a parrot, real or not, alive or not, a Noreigian Blue or not, perched on your shoulder.
But Aubs, it’s only 10 pm on the East Coast! Gimme two hours and I’ll set meself straight, I swearrrr! Don’t make me walk the plank, Cap’n!
[chuckling to self] heh heh heh
[rubbing hands and chuckling] heh heh
[glancing around to see if anyone's looking] heh eh heh heh
[picks nose, flicks it at passing jogger] heh hehhhh
[eerie disturbing transformation proceeds] heeeeeeh heh heh heh heh
[incomprehensible mumbling, then more chuckling] …heh
Peeps — I would like to nominate LauriC for a Nobel Pudding Prize tomorrow for her services to underprivileged kittehs.
All those in favour stamp your peglegs.
*shivers her timbers*
Aaaaaeeeee….aaaarrrr….
Hey, you guys. Theo is scaring me! *tattletail whine voice*
Arrrr, mumble mumble mumble….swigs some grog……
yeah, matey, Laurie C for Captain of the Bebe Boxcar Brigade!!!…….
*personality disintegrating*…um (further)
Going into basement to look for awesome Bonebeads I got at Cheeseburger-in-Caseville this summer……
Dammit, wait, I forgot
*Stamp stamp stamp!!!*
I’m willing to loan out parrots, or at least members of the parrot family. I have an African grey that meows like a cat. A Jenday Conure guaranteed to make you go deaf and a cockatiel that will nibble you to bits. Any takers?
Thank’ee, me hearties! You’re a fine bunch o’ messmates.
*hearty stompeting*
Nightbird, as I am sore afflicted with horses, beasts which do not sit well upon one’s shoulders, I should like to borrow the meowing African grey. It should be quite fitting for this forum.
Will be returned safe and unharmed, if a bit snorgled.
(stamps peg leg in approval)
(peg leg gets stuck between floor boards)
“Arrrrrrgh, Jenna, wench, ye offer up a fine idear – aye, LC for Chief Brigand of the Box Car Brigade!
You boy! In the crow’s nest! Come ye down and grant Master T. a demmned HANDKERCHIEF!”
Or get lashed wi’ the cat o’ marmie tails!
ROFL….heeeeheeeheee….yeah, a demned hendkerchif and a cat’0′marmie nine tails!
Please to borrow me the Jenday conure which will surely deafen me, forsooth I am old enuff to be nearly deafened any case.
Or should I get nibbled to bits? …already been pecked to lovely death by ducks…..
Avast, ye be stampin yer stumps well beforrrre ye hear all o’ them oppshuns, ye scalawags. ‘Tis shameful. I likes it, I does.
But be that as it may, ye bilge rats, hear me out, as I has me hook in the helm, anyhows. Arrr. The plain truth is, we ain’t heerd word from the mainland… err, the Doones that is, since we marooned ‘em all on that desert island in Burrrrnsville, without so much as a barrel o’grog.
[much uncharacteristic mopin' and sighin']
Yarrrrrr. Sad indeed it be. So’s I was figgerin on droppin’ by, casual-like, an’ inquirin’ in upon them of the morrow, see, when we picks up our new passenger!
[much rumbling and tumbling in surprise]
Yes, me hearties! There be a salty four-legger a-carryin’ of her kit ‘n kin, who be needing passage on this here Yarrrr, ye be stampin yer stumps well beforrrre ye hear all o’ them oppshuns, ye scalawags. ‘Tis shameful. I likes it, I does.
But be that as it may, ye bilge rats, hear me out, as I has me hook in the helm, anyhows. Aye. Ye be grasped by the domesticated shorthairs, are ye now. So here be the plain truth: we ain’t a one among us heerd word from the mainland… err, from the Doones crew that is, since we left ‘em marooned all of a desert island in Burrrrnsville, without so much as a pint o’ grog or a pinch o’ nip.
[much uncharacteristic mopin' and sighin']
Yaarrrrrr. So very sad it be…Och, quit yer blubberin’, ye sons o’ sea stoats; if I may remind ye, they had a far better lot cast ‘em than any of us, with the inocyoolatin’ and the adopticatin’. ‘Ceptin o’ course for that whole concept o’ nooterin’ which I can’t say as I hold with, far as my own affairs are concerned.
[entire crew in reverent unison:] Yarrr.
Indeed. So anyways, to lengthen my tale another league, I was figgerin on droppin’ by, casual-like, an’ inquirin’ in upon them of the morrow, see, when we picks up our new passenger!
[much rumblin' and tumblin' in surprise]
Yes, me hearties! There be a salty four-legger a-carryin’ of her kit ‘n kin, who be needing passage on this here barge, on her journey to the land of plenty!
[much murmurin' and acquiescin']
Aye, we be settin’ sail once more for the Catcave, from whence all flooferly video flows! Step lively, ye scurvy scum-sucking sillypantses! Hoist the poop deck! Jigger the flingflan! Roll out the barrel! Git off yer arse and jam! Then get ye to yer bunks early, for TOMORROW WE SAIL!!
[much cheerin' and deafenin']
Yarr. [sniffle] I do luvs me my peeps.
Avast. TypePad be chafin’ at me hide with its unpredictablepostingness.
TEHO!!!! You’re brilliant.
for the peeps in Portland OR, I was reading the paper and found that you’re having a Pirate Festival this weekend. Just think four more days of aye’s, avast’s, and arrrrr!
Must get back to stirrin’ the puddin’ lest my cap’n wakes t’none.
yarrrr – Who remembers the name of the alligator that took Capatin Hook’s hand?
aahhhhh … that would be Captain Hook’s hand.
It’s midnight in the Port o’ Toronto and officially Talk Like a Pyrate Day, mateys! Scupper me for a handspike, else! I be gettin off to me bunk to rest up for the festivities. Belay your blubberin’, there’ll be more tomorrow.
Yaarrrrr! I’m going to a Pirate Shoppe tomorrow for everything a swashbuckler needs (savin’ th’ rum … but there’s a liquor store across the street).
And *stomp stomp stomp* for Matey Laurrrrrrrrrrrie C. for the rescuin’ o’ wee kittens! Parrrrrrrticularrrrly th’ marrrrmalade boy Y.
Puddins for all!
Awesome! I used to have an herbal eye pillow from the Earth Shop or something– it was shaped like a little lambie.
oh, and ARRRRRR!
911 was an INSIDE JOB and if you are willing to think for yourself, research it, and have common sense you too will be closer to the truth.
911 was an inside job. We can not hide from the truth any longer. Innocent people die because of our voluntary ignorance.
Wake up now or forever be sorry.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr there me hearties.
Will there be old sea dogs and parrots today then arrr?
I wouldn’t be able to stick it in the microwave or the freezer! it’s too cute!!!
AAAAARRR all me mateys and you smarmy lubbers, too!!!
Best o’ wishes to Capn Teho whilst he sets sail to check on the Doonses and pick up his new seadog/kit!!!
*mumbles off to work, pegleg stumping, a tankard of grog sloshin’ at every step*
*avast, wishin’ me had a beard so I could braid it*
(((shhhhh don’t say it)))
y’arrrrr and arrrrrrrr me hearties. in the spirit of this arrrrrr here holiday, here’s the To-Do List, courtesy of Master FatCat.
http://fatcat.vox.com/library/post/are-you-ready-for-this.html
check out how many you get done.
also, will Mistress Meg’o'My-Hearties be posting in a piratish mood today? cos’ that’ll be wondearrrrrrrful.
Yarrrrr, me ol’ barnacle-head’s as fogged as me ship’s porthole in a storm …
[Reading Cap'n Teho's summons]
YARRRR, ye ol’ sea-dawg! I KNEW ye had somethin’ flippin’ behind the ol’ hand-hook, eh?
[Hollers to mates]
All hands on deck! All hands on deck! C’mon ye blubberbrains, the Cap’n’s bringing on board ‘is new apprentices! Git down here from the crow’s-nest, ya weedbags! There be KITTENS AHOY!
[All yell together]
Fifteen new kittens in Cap’n Theo’s chest,
Yo-ho-ho
And a bottle of rum!!!
I’m like Aoife who already has a cat who thinks my head and face is a pillow. He’s complete with sound. If sitting on my face where I can’t breath doesn’t work, he waits for me to roll over and sticks his muzzlepuff in my ear and starts fffllpppprrrrttting!
Aye!
[sliding down from crow's nest with meowing parrot at hand]
Break out wi’ the grog, me cullys! Cap’n Teho’s a-bringen us some luvverly kitteh! Tis’ better’n doubloons, methinks!
[sings along with Subh]
Ahh, ’s luvverly to be piratin’ on the good ship McSnorgle, mateys.
Wherefore be the mewlings?! I wanna see’em upclose-like an’ smell their milky breaths! An’ where be Cap’n Crunch…arrrgh I means Teho an’ secondmate MeggieMoo?! We needs new booty, my princess, to welcome fearsome guests to come.. aye, they be the real thing, don’t you forget, you peeps, an’ we gotta be on our best….er *worst* behavior to make’em feel welcome. Where they be now….?! Arrrgghghg…we be waitin’…aye.
jaypo! HAHAHAHAAAAAA! You’re killin’ me here, that has to be the best written pirate I’ve ever heard, er seen,uh read!
Arrrrrrgh, mateys, where ye be, now?
Diem, ye be crownin’ me with glories I ‘aven’t even earned yet but do say that a feather in me cap will do nicely a’ that. Looks like we be the only two mates afloat in this briny flotsam. Excusin’ me if ye will, my peach, I’m goin’ t’scrounge around a wee bit, mayhap they all still be sleepin’ off last night’s rum…
AHHHHOOOYYYYYYY, ye scumpeeps, where be ye?!!
Yo ho, that be a good ‘un! Second Mate Meggie Moo… though somehow I suspect that not be the true way of things, alas.
Arr and Aye! Raising full tankard of grog. (just a tad to get the wee peepers open in the maaarn’en, ya belly jammers!)
[popping up from below the poop deck]
Aye . . . tis no shame I am here to serve with the crew of the good Ship Lollypop … errrg … CuteOverload and the new swarmy swarm o’ wee felines. Eeenoculate ‘em all, I say!
I second the microwave comment.
i’ve had the pink bunny for about a year now and i love it! my partner got it for me because i love bunnies. it smells so good and it’s so soft. sometimes if i’m not using it on my eyes i just…hold it. it makes me happy. you should all get one!
‘ere by yur puddin’come down the ship’s pipes
Cookies and Cream for Cap’n Teho
Vats o’Oreo for First Mate Aubrey
Stevia sweet’nd for Mistress Dragons
The rest o’yer quit yur rummin’ and stand in line for yer butterscotch puddin’ – any ‘plainin’ or mewlin’ and twill be the plank fer the lot o’yers.
I got me plank hoppers on! Arrrgh! I will not stand (one legged tho I be) on butterscotch puddin’ free for alls!
Make the scurvey-breathed jim jammers work for their puddins!
Swab that deck! Deck that swab!
(oh a pirates life for me!)
Kits, ahoy! Top o’ the morning to ye, me fellow scrumpeeps! The wind be steady and at our briny backs this day. Fair sailing ahead!
Aye, I remember me dear mum’s puddins, how she stirred the vats, her skirts hiked up to her ample knees an’ amidst the screams n’ yowlins she laughed her heartiest an’ never left a lump unbeaten. [snurf, snivel, wipes nose on sleeve]
Y’arr – this pirate is celebratin’ the fine day by watchin’ Cabin Boy this eve with First Mate kiki, y’arr!
Aaar! Get those swabs away from me you lilly-livered scabless dogs!
Heh. Whee!
Arrgh … does this scump heap of a vessel have a movie theatre? Maychance we could watch “Pirates of the Caribbean” after the pirately fun of loosing long-bellied ship mates off the plank at longswords end. Now there be good fun, aye!
By the bye, Mistress Shoobangee, I fear ye be led somewhat astray; there be no kittenswabs just yet. From what I hear talk of, though, new conscripts will be showin’ up soon enuff. Hoist up the John B’s sails! See how the mainsail sets! Send for the puddins ashore! We wants kitters at home, yarr.
PNC Danielle — ye know very well that the Catcave be sportin’ a fine homebuilt projection theatre, a treasured relic of the Ancient Geeks. ‘Tis a shame we must keep its location secret. Guard it with our very lives, we do.
arr.. ::hack cough choke, wooden leg falls off::
[thumps pheral with wooden leg]
Watch wha’yer losin’, ye consumptive lout, ye nearly kilt me dead!
[imaginin' Jaypo an' Pheral in kilts]
[a-snickerin']
ARR! Avast tiny begrockled pirate, then yer shouldn’t be scuttling round the decks benea’ me! Give m’leg back, scurvy dog!
::keels over in your direction::
Scottish pirates?
[imagining combined Scots accent and pirate talk]
Och, yarrrr, lassie.
Avast, Cap’n T? Whats this I be hearin’? Tis’ goin’ to be a long wait, aye!
And where be MY puddin, lassie? Smartly, or I’ll fire me cannons!
>>[imaginin' Jaypo an'
>>Pheral in kilts]
>>[a-snickerin']
blast and curses, lower the mainsail and cover me dignities with it, m’hearties!
[holds pheral's leg over the briny deep]
Come be gettin’ yer worm eatin’ post, me matey! oops…
[hides behind Capn T}
Twas SoHang’em, Capn, honest it was, she bumped me right good an’ I lost me grip!
Ye Gawds, Pheral, don’t git the wind knocked outta ye, yet! Ye can have me share of rum n’ puddin in the warmth of me own cabin, yarrr.
Ye gods, now I’ve dishonored his dignity too!
Arrrr and arrrrgh … avast and alack, pheral … ye poor sodden leg was torn unsunder by mutinous scurvey ridden fluffy-ooshousness (and cute!) dog. Lil’ nipper! Mayhap you be one-eye’n the main sail now for a new peg o’ the leg?
Arrrrgh! Protect the main sail, me peepers! Yon one leg wonder, pheral, be hoblin over to wit and draggin’ a longsword!
[scowls]
WHERE is ME puddin? I got me cannons ready, an’ a loaded musket on me hip. [puts hand on musket] Bring on me puddin. NOW.
Be ye careful what ye be wishin’ fer, Missy Su.
[heavy clanking noise belowdecks]
mutiny … mutiny … arrrr… arrrr…
[ducking behind cannon ball barrel]
[does a double take and moves awaaaay from cannon ball barrel]
[looking sadly at butterscotch puddin']
Arr.. where be the pistachio, hearties? Tis’ a sad day when a grimwhiskered seadog like m’self gots ta eat only th’ butterscotch.
[glances at hobbling pheral]
Hooeee matey! Stow that there cannon an’ get ye some britches! Can’t be seen a caperin’ about wi’ none but a short kilty!
Oy, PNC Danielle, ye lily-livered scum, what be yer birdy squawkin’ aboot?
Mutiny, arr? Mutiny be fer trolls an’ spammers, landlubber!
[sics Nightbird's meowing parrot on PNCD's mutinous bird]
ARRRRRRR Y’all! Thar’ be a scurvy dog hoggin’ the bARRRRRR-be-cue sauce in tha galley!
(Yeah, I’m a Texan pirate. Pbpbpbt!)
–TwoDragons
BARBACYOO PUDDINS???
Yarrrr! I be noticin’ that yonder cute eye pillow loot has been mightily plundered, yarrr! (Translation: the website says thedoggy and kitty pillows are out of stock. )Have me CO lovelies stormed the decks of yet another unsuspectin’ galleon of cute maaaarrrchandise? Silver cuteloons for all, yarrrr!
Parrot squawks: “Awwwk! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!”
did i ‘ear’sa ‘oller for pistachero puddin’? it’s in the pot me hearty, in the pot, and will be ready by time ye finished swabbin’ the deck and trimmin’ the mainsails.
But I do draw the line at BBQ puddin, yers on yer own with the condiments.
Aye, “BARBACYOO PUDDINS”!! The fifi’s calls ‘em Creme Brulee.
[swats at scrapping parrots]
Arrrrgh, now … who be a lilly livered scum? I was a-shoving this 500-weight cannon ball barrel out ‘o the line ‘o fire from one ship’s Captain and one ship mate, ya whinning son of butterscotch sucking sea serpent!
[shock, disbelief]
But Cap’n T? Ye don’t think it unfair that I be treated like one of em bilge rats in the bung hole?
(Aarrgh, Pirate Danielle, not ta rub ye up the wrong way, but tell yer sqawker to shut the yaps!)
[back to Cap'n]
Gads, this is it, aye? Pirate, first class Su’s nothin’ more than yer albatross?
[looks skyward, beaten]
A black day in buccaneering history, me lads, when honest-to-Gad pirates are robbed of their puddins.
[trudges away]
Fine, I’ll just go an’ be one of em’ barnacled sharkbait.
[assembling eyepatch for non-mutinous mightily squaking parrot]
Hold yer yap, ye good fer nuthin’ pillow stuffin’!
Aarrr, scurrulous dogs!
::hops forward, trips over kilt::
oof…
Hand over me leg n’the pudding, pitiful sea-slugs, or i’ll play your ribs w’my cutlass!
[sudden realization dawns]
Egads, Holy squid sauce! Did I just WALK away from me deserved puddin?
[hand closes on musket, turns around, eyes narrowed]
Yer, ye sons of seachickens. I’ll show ye who’s sharkbait. I’ll go down with me cannons blazin if its the last I do.
[draws]
Avast scalliwags! For ye next 20 hour’n four, here ye be pirates! Me Norwegian Blue – beautiful plumage, arrrrgh – is perched high, me peg leg leans on the back of me favorite cabin boy, me jeweled sword, soiled with the blood of Nuffinghams, lies within me calloused reach, and a purse o’ Spanish dubloons be tied ’round me waist.
BBQ puddins? BAH! I will nip out your tongues and use them for EARRINGS! On a silver platter, bigod, grant me a RUM pudding! If not, a flogging awaits you, and whether or no, a grogging awaits me!
>>Did I just WALK away from me deserved puddin?
::waves cutlass from floor::
Aar, don’t sell yousel’ short, i’d say ye kinda shuffled… with a sturdy piratey gait.
[musket raised high]
[charges forward]
[stumbles over the fallen Pheral]
[lands flat on face]
HOLY &%$* BARNACLES!!!
Ahoy me pretties! Who’ll be joinin’ me in a rousin’ chorus of that old sea shanty, “there was friggin’ in the riggin’ (cause there was f***-all else to do)”?
>>[stumbles over the fallen Pheral]
>>[lands flat on face]
>>HOLY &%$* BARNACLES!!!
argh! and arr! quit yer rollin’ on me, ye toe-legged lout! and leave me ass-barnacles outta this too.
[raises self up, dusts off as a bullet whizzes past her ear]
Gads ye, mate, don’t just be lyin’ around with no britches on! C’mon, lets get yer arse off the floor!
[another bullet whizzes by]
Pirate Aubs, yer verbal swordsmanship is worth me rum – but can I first git me some help with Pheral o’er here???
[bullet straight therough tip of hat]
Aaargh! Hold in yer leads, ye impatient bloody cowards!
y’arr, i thought the ‘&%$*’ said ‘ASS’ instead, but i were sorely mistook. and now me brain is pickled with terrible thinkings o’ what kind of Freudian Slip that mighta ‘bin on my behaaarf.
“There was friggin’
In the riggin’
Cause we were tired of the diggin’
The treasure it stayed hidden
So we ceased to do as biddin’
And we…”
WAIT. Me Hugo Boss spyglass spies an unknown frigate on the horizon! Gentlemen, man your cannons, or by Christ’s silken breeches, ye’ll be singing chanties with the fishes before the sun’s wide circle is done!
i’ll take you all on! i’ll have yer teeth for keyboard keys! i’ll have yer fingers for usb flash drives! AAAR!
quit standin’ on m’sword, ye seaweed-brained matey!!
Arrr! What be that, Pirate Bunna? Pistachio puddins? Oh, bless me poor barnacled heart! C’mon, ye meowling bit o’ parrot, leave ‘at loudmouthed excuse for a shark’s seabiscuit and let’s tuck it in!
[grabs parrot and makes for pistash puddin', tankard in hand]
Arr, now that be the stuff, mateys! [sitting contentedly in the middle of the fray with tankard of pistachio puddin, sharing with meowing parrot]
[clutches hat to her head]
Dang the arse-barnacles, mate, lets get ye up off tha’ floor! It’s a dawgnabbin’ MUTINY!
Heave ho!
[helps Pheral off the floor]
Pirate Sabba, will yer quit the dang puddin an’ get yerself here? I need me a second!
watch yer strength there mateeyyyyyyyy…
::is heaved over the side::
…yaaaarrrrrrrr….
::arr fades into distance::
*sploosh*
::bobs amongst the waves::
arr. alas. ’tis just as well, as i have me revision to do and ‘all.
but be warned, ye sword-suckin’ crew, i’ll be back to have yer eyelashes fer a disc-cleaner! ha haarrrr!
After 170 comments, not one of you stopped to ask why advertising is now appearing as “stories” on cute overload?
Was cuteoverload paid to run this story?
[Peers sadly at Pirate Baby Peeps]
Aye, cully, fer ye ah’ll ditch mah puddin’s. Us’ns Baby Peeps gots ta stick tagether.
[leaves tankard with parrot for safekeeping and draws musket, rearranging strategically placed eyepatch.]
[grumbling to self]
Self … there better be warm pop of the corn wid me movie tonight or these rotten whorehounds will darken this ship’s skullywag no more.
[slamming fist on table]
… owie … a splinter!
An’ save fer me some of tha’ pistachio puddin – I’ll have it once these scummy bullets arrre taken care orf.
Aye, landlubber, Cuteoverload was paid to run the “ad” and there will be pieces of eight aplenty for us all!!! Except for you, who will drown in your sorrowful grog and walk the plank!!!!
Ye Gads! [looks out horrified at Pheral bobbing in the waves]
Sorry about that, mate!
[sidles up to Pirate Baby Peeps Junior] Cmon mate, lets show ‘em barnacle-rumps who’s sharkbait.
[looks up and sees this: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/09/headaches_puffy.html#comment-22606724 ]
Arrr! Pirate Aubs, we got us some vultures hoverin’ – let there be BLOOD!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!
Arrrrr, good on yer, PNC Danielle! Skewer ‘em vultures!
Captain Subhangi, wot say you? On your feet – stop with your puddin’ cavortin’ before I take me broad sword to you!
(peers overboard) Pheral – hold hard! Ye cut your teeth on tales of pirate bravery! Ye got your feet wet on stories of your brethern! HA! Just a little pirate humor for ye!
Pirate Aubs – no puddins now, honest-ta-Gawd, am ready to let me sword do the talkin’! YARRRRR!!!
>>Ye got your feet wet on stories of your brethern!
>>HA! Just a little pirate humor for ye!
arrr, that’s ‘foot’ mehearty!
Arrharharr! Never ye fear, Cap’n Aubs, me B. Peeps and I be ready for scrappin’ wi’ puddin’ afferwards, be ye willin’!
Avast! We arrrr wantin’ some booty!
Arrrr, second that, Cap’n Aubs, me an’ B.Peeps Jr be ready to have a merry puddin’ with yer once we git us some booty.
Say – where’s Cap’n Teho? ‘e wuz last heard clangin’ around the deck bottom … ‘e better not be havin’ all ‘em puddins to ‘imself.
… sorry, Cap’n Aubs.
YARRRRRR!
(Egads, I’m going overboard, I know.)
(pacing the deck)
Blast, and the devil take ye all! With yer fancy puddin’ talk, and yer booty call, arrrrrrrrrr I mean talk, we be in the heat of battle, sirs! Now is not the time to cast worry about the plight of Cap’n T! He might be with mermaids, in a kelp coffin or battling with the teeth of the whale! It meets ye not to worry! To battle! To battle!
Booty call! Booty call! Aherm.. ARRR! We be fightin’!
[Waves musket fearsomely. Or attempts to.]
aaaaaiiiiieeeeaaaaaaiiiieeeeeaaaaiiiiieeeee
yooooo cannnnnnooot reeeeeeesiiiiissssssssst meeeeeeeeeeee
laa laa laa laa laa laa
ohhhh piiiiiiiraaaaates!
lar lar lar lar!
come join beyoooooooteeeful meeeeeee in the deeeeeeeep ocean!
la de da de da de daaaaaa
[muffled profane grumbling]
Arses… barnacles… booty… pistachio…
[heavy clanking noises suddenly cease]
…ahoy, be that the anchor? WHAT SORRY SACK O’ RATS DONE GROUNDED US?? ARRRRR!!!
[girds loins]
[sticks scarf-wrapped head out cabin window]
[catches a musket ball in teeth]
[parrot catches another in beak]
PIPE DOWN, YE MONKEYS! WHY ARE WE AT ANCHOR?? WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS RUCK-A-MUSSIN’!??
Ahoy, messmates!
(clambering up ship side from the jolly boat)
I been stuck in lubberly goings-on till the sun was high over the yardarm. Who needs a swinging blade and a keg of milk for a fresh batch of puddin’? And I say chocolate this time, damn your eyes!
and yer parrots toooooooooooo
la!
[parrot does an avian double-take]
[hurriedly pulls scarf over T's remaining non-patched eye]
Arse biscuits, ye blasted bird! What manner of…
[hears siren]
[realization dawns]
…oh bloody hell.
tough crowd!
yoooooooo must luuuuuuuuuv meeeeeeeeee!
come to maaaaaaa maaaaaaaa!
tweeeeedleeeeeeeeeee la la!
i am veeeeeeeeery kyoooooooooooot!
waaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooowaaaaaaaaaoooooooooowaaaaaaaaooooooo
all drownded.
i am sthatisthfied.
and pleasthed asth well.
[gurgle]
[bloop]
[high-fives with seal and tortoise]
aaaaaaaaand….
two hundred.
Arrr, mateys, perrhaps if we offer the sweet siren a puddin or two she’ll give back our poor lost mateys. What say you, siren? What puddin’s are your pleasure?
BLOOOOOOOOD PUUUUUUUDIN!
lalala la la laaaaaaaaa!
[looking coy]
[squeezes capn t's corpse]
[***SNAG!***]
Ya HARRR!!! Now ye be HOOKED!
Corpse indeed. Davey Jones?? My salty *bitch* he be.
[dunks siren, cackling]
“Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!
“We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot
“We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot
“And shipwrecking sirens meet up with my boot…
“Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!”
Ha, young master T. ye’ve a fine voice t’ye! So all the Lord’s day be your’n, to sing shanties and drink rum – and the same time too, a foolish notion!
Sir…do you know how the term ‘poop deck’ came t’be? Aye ’tis so, smart lad, so start swabbin’!
Huzzah for Cap’n Teho!
Avast and alas, ye upstart, the poop deck be with the rest o’ the boat, as you well know. Only the barnacles be a-swabbin’ of her now.
[bobbing, splashing]
Here, have ye a siren.
[dropping character]
OMG, I’d never have believed it possible, had I not discovered it with my own browser… it’s true, peeps: Even PIRATES are susceptible to the scourge of Knitting Rabies!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/knitlikeapirate.html
pfff! [sprays salf water]
arrrrrr, mmble mmble.
aye’d sattle fer some butterscotch, i would.
Yarr, that keg ye be floatin’ upon, I believe it reads “BUNNEHCREME” whatever that be… may be that ye should pop its cork open and see.
[schwop!]
whooooo! that’s stronger than me own magnetic pull!
[glug glug glug]
i’ve found me new callin!
no more drownin of tha pirates! i’ll beeeee one!
rahhhr!
don’t touch me barrel!
::floats past on a musketball-peppered trunk::
yo ho, yo ho, arrr…
*Looks around at scattered flotsam, jetsam and pudsam*
*Blinks*
Wow.
[sitting contentedly in a large barrel of pistachio puddin', floatin' by the proceedings.]
Arr mateys! This be the life! [waves puddin' ladle] Me an’ the good ship Pistash ‘r off to plunder some booty. ["Meow" says the African grey parrot.]
>Corpse indeed. Davey Jones?? My salty *bitch* he be.< ~Teho
Teho, dying here. Just plain out dying! Salty bitch? Oh hells!
AAAARRRRGGG! Avast ye! I come back from a long day o’ buryin treasure to find my pooor poor meowing parrot drunk, sporting an eye patch and eatin’ pistachio puddin’…BertaJo will never behave fer me now.
What have me fellow bilge rats been up to whist I’m away stealing uh… making a few honest gold coins???
If you can’t steal fom your own ship mates, ARRRGH! Who can you steal from???
*Nodding blearily*
Aye, and we must all needs now, get thee to a rummery!!!
Nay, lass, all that’s left for me is one last mug of arrrrrrrrrrr-tificially sweetened Pepsi.
http://teho.vox.com/library/post/new-foster-kitty.html
Awwww, Teho, nice kitty. When is she due? Do you know?
T-o, she looks to be part puppy.
T., Artemis is a very good name for a cali-kit. How exciting to be waiting for her little
Mus-cat-eers!
And the Doonses story gets better and better – perhaps their history preceeded them?
Arr, Nightbird me hearty, many thanks for th’ lendin’ o’ the parrot. We’ns had lots o’ fun! As promised, only a teeny bit snorgled… an’ puddin’ed… an’ eyepatched… an’ grogged… t’was a grand ole time!
Parrot: Meowrrr! [sporting pistachio puddin mustache]
Well, me Peepers, Pirate Sabba signin’ off fer the night. S’been an arrrfully fun day! Ahoy!
“get thee to a rummery”? I am sooo going to use that. I have Shakespeare tix on Friday – too bad Hamlet was last year.
Ha–we thought these were so cute we added them to our blog
When the pARRRRty’s oooover…
http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20060920
Comments on this entry are closed.