I hate my cat boss

Listen, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in the office on Saturday. Oh, and did you see the memo? We’re putting cover sheets on all the TPS reports now before they go out. If you could do that, that’d be greaaat.


You’re gonna have to talk to Payroll about this, M.E….

And huge props to M.E. for ACTUALLY SENDING IN A STAMP with the submission of Kitten Kelvin! High-larious!




  1. “I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter…”

  2. constance says:

    ahahah. Oh God. That’s awesome

  3. persimmontree says:

    uh, i’m going to have to go ahead and ask you to come in on sunday, too…

  4. If you take my stapler, I’ll set the building on fire.

  5. Kris, in New England says:

    But what about the vest with flair?

  6. Kris NE — while “vest with flair” is officially my first GoogleWhack (i.e. exactly 1 result returned — yay!), I’m no closer to understanding your reference…?

  7. Where’s Michael Bolton when you need him?!

    The photo is … ok, but the stamp?!

  8. Wait, I just realized Kitty is next to a
    BOOMBOX, obvi “Love is a Wonderful Thing” is on an endless loop. Who sucks now?

  9. Hmm… SOMEone’s got a case of the Mondays!

    (pursing lips in tiny smirk)

  10. Is that person who sent that in SANE??? The pic, great but a STAMP???

  11. martha in mobile says:

    She may be a mean boss, but she knows her way around a tube of eyeliner.

  12. Note to self: get more catnip….

  13. Bridget says:

    Hey Theo, will that be before or after the fax machine beating?

  14. But a boss whose tummy one could snorgle, that would be good.

  15. lol googlewhack Ive never heard that term before.
    the kitteh “wow. this gives new meaning to the term ‘bored meeting’ hahaha. lets see if I can fling this pencil… so that it gets stuck in the ceiling… using my superior cat like tongue reflexes… with noone noticing… because of… my ninja skills?!”

  16. oh, c’mon T., you must have kittehs in the brain. I mean, you quoted Office Space and you don’t recognize a “vest with flair”? you might want to try “flare”.
    remember Jennifer Aniston as Joanna, the waitress with an attitude and a minimum of `flare’ who gets a lecture from her boss?

  17. Laurie C says:

    Anything this cat boss wanted, I would so do it. How could you not?

    Two good newses, CO regulars: I got official permission from the boxcar restaurant to start trapping boxcar cats for neutering AND I rescued two more kittens this morning! Six weeks old, white floofy kitters with gray patches on their heads.

  18. falnfenix says:

    gahahahah…that’s hilarious. once again with the great captions…

  19. Kris, in New England says:

    Thank you Mariser. Theo has me worried…but it could be my spelling that lead him astray.

    Mea culpa Theo.

  20. My mother’s Tonk loved pens and pencils. If he had had working thumbs, we would have been in serious trouble. One of my Tonks likes pens and nail files. The items disappear at an alarming rate!

    What a cute kitty. Go write me a book, kid!

  21. looks photoshopped to me.

  22. Marianne says:

    My kitten Penelope looks just like this little guy! No wonder the printer keeps saying “PC Load Letter.”

  23. What a great website !

    Very funny to read you from where i live…Brussels (Belgium).

    Best regards !



  24. *baby voice*Does someone have a case of the Mondays?

  25. Yay Laurie C!

  26. paulette says:

    All kitty needs is a coffee cup and a red swingline staple.

  27. I gots me a big ol’ heavy, red Swingline stapler. Honest!

  28. For the record, “vest with flare” (note spelling) only returns 2 results on Google, so it’s *almost* a GoogleWhack.

    (I didn’t memorize ALL of Office Space, Mariser)

    PS — Ceebs, Ceebs, Ceebs… what are we going to do with you…

  29. Dood….

    I ♥ Office Space, I ♥ kitties…

    What a perfect Monday!

  30. brownamazon says:

    What is it with cats and the foil tips on pencils? And erasers!
    Yay, Laurie C. The cat gods smile on you.
    On a similar note, my friend and I saved Bambi on the weekend. We were driving along a country road and saw a wee spotted fawn tangled up in a wire fence. It was making this horrible, loud bleating noise. Mommy was hovering anxiously nearby. So we pulled over and freed it. It kicked the crap out of us while it struggled (those teeny hooves are sharp!), but scampered off with Mom, apparently not badly hurt. Yay!

  31. Teughcats says:

    Hooray for you! CO regulars are the greatest people.

    Theo, how are the foster babies?

  32. Laurie C says:

    brownamazon, you will live in deer history! Bambi and Mom will have quite the story to go back and tell the herd. Good for you for helping.

  33. erm, guys, according to Merriam Webster:

    flair: : a uniquely attractive quality : STYLE

    flare: a fire or blaze of light used especially to signal, illuminate, or attract attention; also : a device or composition used to produce such a flare

    Wearing flare on a vest would be decidedly unwise. Now, setting the building on fire, that’s another subject altogether

  34. Homonym trouble … “flare” is what a full skirt does when the wearer spins around. “Flair” is style, verve, panache. One is an action, one is a quality. Not having seen “Office Space” I can only guess, but that guess would be that the vest had flair, not flare!
    btw AWESOME stamp!

  35. oh, i lurve the stamp!

  36. oops, hi Angela, fellow homonym setter-straight! LOL!

  37. Kris, in New England says:

    Angela and ChaCha – thanx for letting me know it wasn’t my spelling error.

    So Theo – about those TPS Reports? Didn’t you get the memo???? 🙂

  38. 2Cats — the fozterfuzz iz fantaztic. They’re scouting around the Catcave (OK, the computer room downstairs) a little more every day.

    Momcat Lorna dropped an ace out of her sleeve this morning, so to speak: When Teh Schmoop came downstairs to refill the food & water, momma rushed the door at lightning speed and chased a bewildered Mr. Bounce right the hell upstairs. BZOOM!! She must be half his weight and 1/6th his age, too.

    Bounce had been hanging out on the other side of the office door, on and off, just curious about why it’s been closed lately, sniffing under the crack. I’m guessing he’ll be a bit more shy about it now. Anyway, I guess this is why we’ve been keeping that door closed. Whew.

  39. mmmm… pencil eraser… :drool:

  40. haha chacha! Great minds and all that. If you haven’t seen Office Space then you MUST. It is one of the most hilarious films ever made.

  41. kittikin says:

    I think I may have to show you my “O” face …


  42. mariser says:


    I didn’t mean to accuse you of misspelling, is just that when I checked the imdb.com page, the vest was noted to have “flare”. even though two hits may qualify as a googlewhack, the first one went back to said imdb.com page.

    “I didn’t memorize ALL of Office Space”
    and you call yourself a geek/nerd. we’ll need your badge and pistol, please.

  43. hrh.squeak says:

    Theo – heeeheeehee. Poor Mr. Bounce, it was his room and now it’s got PsychoMomma (at least as far as *he’s* concerned) in it, I’m sure he’s bewildered as all hell. Give him a snorgle from me, please?

  44. I’ll take the kitty over my boss any day.

  45. HRH Squeak — the funniest part is, Lorna looks like Spot (except young and sleek and lightning fast). So now Bounce is nervous around Spot and hisses, and of course Spot’s all like, “WHAT??”

    This will probably pass.

  46. Kris, in New England says:

    Mariser – didn’t take it as an accusation – just a correction. But…I was right! Pbbbfffttt!


  47. K.,

    Pbbbfffttt! yosself.

    and yes, you were right. darn the English language!

  48. If things go well, i might be showing you my Aww face. You know…Awww! Aww! *picture the aww girl with the clasped hands*

  49. T.,

    it wasn’t *stinking* when you got it…

  50. Uhm, I’m going to need you to move your desk to out behind the dumpster. Yeaaaaaaah. That would be great, thaaaaanks.

    By the way your feline family is beautious, Theo. Such dark and moody photos!

  51. Marisol says:

    I thought it was “Oh” face, not “awww” face.

    My kitty loves to steal pencils and run away with them!

  52. Fritatta says:

    Damn, this crew knows how to run with a theme! (Pushes glasses up on nose, settles back on beachy lounge chair with an umbrella’d Mai Tai in hand).

  53. whoah! too cute!

  54. love it. totally love it. 😀

  55. Great picture. And I LOVE it that you can actually quote Office Space!

  56. Teughcats says:

    Theo –

    Any chance of introducing them formally or will that lead to WWIII? I was never able to keep my fosters in a separate room because, frankly, nursing moms make really stinky litter boxes (as I’m sure you’ve noticed) and I couldn’t ventilate it well enough. So I just gave up and they had the run of the house. Didn’t have any kitties of my own at that point, though.

  57. I’m not sure if any of you have discovered this yet, but you can actually get a Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure!

    Someday, this will be me. I’m not saying it’s a good thing or a bad thing, I’m just saying…

  58. I was told I could play my music at a reasonable volume between the hours of 9 and 11 while I am collating…

  59. Rats, the link didn’t work. If you want to check it out, you can go to http://www.stupid.com and seach on ‘Crazy Cat Lady’.

    Why does it have to say “fatal error”? That seems so extreme, as if I’ve sealed my fate with the internet gods.

  60. Dang – crazy cat lady figurine access is being denied to me! Darn surf control. As if I’m supposed to be working here…

  61. ha! “aww face.” good one.

  62. AmyH,

    Your link does work, if you remove the period at the end, like so:


  63. The Crazy Cat Lady Action figure (and many others):

  64. Fritatta,

    how’s about sharing that Mai-Tai? they are huuuugeee!
    and your name is making me hungry.

    I luvs ArchieMcPhee, he of the LibrarianActionFigure(tm) fame. now I must decide: Librarian or CCL? decisions, decisions…

  65. Eeeeeeiiiiiiiiii!! CCL Action Figure!! Gotta have it!!

  66. One of their newest ones is the Lunch Lady action figure!!!
    I have the librarian a.f. bookmark that they sent me (I get their wholesale catalog)

  67. I want a roll of those stamps! The footpads, they kill me!

  68. 2Cats — this isn’t a definitive decision, but if this morning was any indication, “formally introducing” Lorna to the resident cats probably isn’t a good idea. She’s not what I’d call an easygoing girl. Now, once the *kittens* are bigger, we might introduce *them* in a controlled fashion.

    Socializing the kitters to people is really more important than socializing them to other cats, for adoption purposes, but we’ll see what we can do.

  69. Semi-related… I love that McPhee has a “Unicorns and Ninjas” category. Hyahh! Sparkle!

  70. look down on ad for CCL, they sell cat hurlers, what a horrible thought

  71. a ninja devil ducky… http://www.mcphee.com/items/11573.html Too funny.

  72. Dewd, this totally looks like one of my kitties.

    And after glancing at “Crazy Cat Lady”, I now need to go back and explore the rest of the site…

  73. OMG Theo! The black cat nodder!! I can’t believe I missed that… I am lmao here…

  74. That mcphee site is a hoot! (Although the pics and description of the CCL on their site are worth a look, as well.)

    Now if I can only find the red bird whistles of my youth. Anyone remember the ones you filled with water and had to blow throw the tail to make a warbly noise? It was entertaining for hours. One day mine was mysteriously sabotaged to which my mom would only say, “Really? Huh. How very strange.” All of our noisy toys from our grandparents would eventually become inexplicably inoperable.

  75. ohhhhhhhhmmmmmm….. http://www.mcphee.com/items/11055.html

    rofl Love this site!

  76. Ceejoe — it’s totally Lorna. Well… maybe Cartoon Lorna.
    Now I need to find her a rhinestone collar.

  77. I meant to say – the pics of the CCL on the stupid.com site are worth checking out.

  78. From the new film which reveals the true cattiness in couture, “The Devil Wore Hartz”:

    “Where is the water bowl I ordered? “Over there”, Della? Well ‘over there’ is WRONG! Someone call my fang shui advisor immediamente!

    And this weather is impossible – who’s idea was it that cats wouldn’t sweat? I want a memo regarding this on my desk by tomorrow morning!

    Now…are these the sketches for the Fall line? Superman outfits? Guinea Pig bridal veils? Pink for Autumn…someone found my stash of cat nip, nest-ce pas?”

  79. Theo – Yes! I have four black cats and they all wear collars. But not rhinestone collars. Hmmm… I see wardrobe changes in our future… And I see an order to Arche McPhee in the very near future!

  80. Look! It’s the pink poodle from last week! http://www.mcphee.com/items/11015.html

    Ok ok I can stop anytime! I have work to do here…

  81. Tracibub says:

    Hi everyone!

    Okay – LOVE the kitteh!! Love the office space. And I have related things to both items!!

    1) Office Space: if no one has seen this yet go to http://www.angryalien.com This girl (Jennifer Shiman) has created 30 second movie summaries, reenacted by bunnies. The movies are all ones we’ve heard of (or most of them are) and the newest one is OFFICE SPACE!!!! Check it out because they really are very funny.

    2)KITTEHS!! Check out http://www.stuffonmycat.com and there is a contest. If you’d be willing to help a fellow CO’er out, my kitteh’s name is Mischief. Check it out and cast your votes in the contest! 🙂

    Outside of those two items, I’m spent!! GO KITTEHS!! GO OFFICE SPACE!!

  82. Man, I wish McPhee made a Basset Hound bobble head. That would be SO COOL!!
    Um, I’ll check out the bunnies performing Office Space, and hope my boss doesn’t show up with a cup of coffee in hand, sayin’ “Yeah… I’m gonna need you to come in Saturday…”

  83. how cute! what a doll!

  84. BWAHAHAH… How on earth did you find that, Theo????

    Ok ok I’m stopping… I’m going home now…

  85. Yay! Thanks, Theo!

    Tracibub, the bunny animation RAWKS. I just watched Office Space and Rocky Horror… wish I had more time to watch them ALL, but I’m “working” right now.

  86. ceejoe has more willpower than I re: getting back to work. I could sit here and shop for goofy stuff all day.

    I just hope our cat boss doesn’t catch us goofing off! Better get back to work myself.

  87. Ceejoe, Zelda… I Googled “Basset Hound bobble head”. Ta-daa.

  88. Keeponslackin says:

    Tracibub- Mischief isn’t doing too bad in the polls, but, it does look as if Reilly the disco cat may take it all…. I voted for Mischief!

  89. Keeponslackin says:

    Hey that black cat nodder….

    I had some bubble bath when I was a kid that came in a cat containter teat looked very much like that nodder. Anybody else rememeber anything like that from the seventies?

  90. Keeponslackin says:

    *that* not teat…. geez

  91. KOS — that’s a pretty funny typo there. I’m just imagining the 8 streams of shampoo bubbles…

  92. …ack, yer too quick!

  93. Tracibub says:

    Thanks Keeponslackin! I appreciate the vote!! I’m going to see what I can accomplish with my myspace pals, too. 🙂

  94. Tracibub – that bunny thing is sooooooooo funny. but WHY??? how does that person have the time??? or is it her job? I want that job! bunny sound of music would be the first thing i’d do!

  95. Tracibub says:

    lilie – I think she is paid to do it now. It started as a project to help her portfolio as a web designer, but now she’s contracted with the TV station Starz, and I’m positive she’s paid. 🙂 She’s got a list of upcoming ‘shows’ that she’s hoping to work on. I love the bunnies!!!

  96. Glad youse guys liked the mcphee site!
    You can play “Office Space” with these, sold on mcphee.com but here’s their own website, great intro:

  97. lol ceebs – I love those things. I don’t know how I’ve managed to keep from buying a whack of them so far. Well, yes I do…. but I do love them!

  98. Lots more of kitten kelvin – (he’s a four legged photo op!) at http://www.pbase.com/ryenke/kelvin

  99. Wow! “Jaw-dropping cuteness” doesn’t even begin to describe your little Kelvin!

  100. thehawke says:

    Glad I live just 10 miles from McPhee.

    Now, you just pass that cake along. That’s right, pass it down the line.

  101. M.E., he’s growing up gorgeous! And I love the tortoiseshell sister too! (Are they related?)

  102. Hi all! Yes, Kelvin is far too cute to describe. He’s also just about the most affectionate kitty I’ve ever met.

    The tortoiseshell (Queen T) and Kelvin are not related. Queen T is 14 years old this fall. She and Kelvin just love each other so much it brings daily smiles and awwws to our house. He has really inspired Queen T to start playing again, too (she was getting very sedentary).

  103. M.E.
    All those graceful photos tell me that you must be so very proud of your bootiful Kelvin. Those cobalt-blue eyes – wow!

  104. Such a cutie! I could look at kitty pictures all day. Oh, wait. I did.

    Whaddya know – the workday is over in 7 more minutes! Better buy that CCL action figure before I shut down for the day.

  105. Jackie from Michigan says:

    “I’ll put strychnine in the guacamole! “I’ll take my traveler’s checks to a competing resort!”

    Great movie and great kitties…

  106. Better late than never… Is this kitten hiring? Must run the Dream Office.

  107. hrh.squeak says:

    I went to Kelvin’s site and now my tummy hurts from the Cuteness. Aiiieeee *thwip*
    (head implodes)

  108. I dunno, Jaypo… I’ve been to the Space Needle and I don’t remember there being any plastic pulls like that on the window shades. For starters.

    Maybe Kelvin’s deep in the brainstorming stage of the renovation plans?

  109. Laurie C says:

    Theo, I was clicking through your photos, “cute”, “awww”, “awww” and then “yikes!”. That last one meeping looks like a bat, who’s pissed off that someone stole his wings. But still cute in a scary kind of way. How can you tear yourself away from these guys to be on CO?

  110. Theo. . . the babies (& Momma)are just precious!!!!! But how will you part with them? I’d want to keep them all.

  111. I love this cat, but more than that, I love the layout. Does anyone else see the nice, mellow stripes running down the page? It makes it look so much classier and yet compliments the cute so nicely.

  112. “Theo, I was clicking through your photos, “cute”, “awww”, “awww” and then “yikes!”. That last one meeping looks like a bat”

    Ditto on that, LC. t-o, I want to know if you’ve been polishing the pads on wakie-poo’s foot? Them’s shiny!

  113. Love the Office Space reference! It went with the picture perfectly. NOw where can I get those adorable stamps?

  114. Katiekinz says:

    Theo! What’s happenin’?

  115. BenPanced says:

    OMFG hoW cna yuo talk about funy kittnes when its’ obvisus thsi kiten hasnt hda a cofee brake al mroning?!

  116. M.E., if you’re still reading down this far, Kelvin is an awesome name for a kitter.

    Theo, if you’re still reading down this far, looks like your laundry came back and you got a load of darks 🙂

  117. Netherland Dwarf rabbit, owner!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ says:

    “Hhnmmm, looks like I can pencil you in after the all staff meeting at 2:30pm.

    Uh… scratch that, 3 is better for me.

    Bring the final story boards with you.

    Abd they better be good!

    We gotta land this account or I’ll hafta close the Ad Agency…

    Uh…scratch that, I’ll hafta fire you…

    See you at 3!”

  118. Edmund H says:

    It’s Catbert the evil HR director!

  119. Theo – those kittens are wonderful!! I never fostered babies that young – mine were always old enough to be away from mom. Bless you and your family!!

  120. Yea, Laurie C. and brownamazon and Theo! People who take care of animals are the very best.

  121. Edmund H — you just might be right.

    To answer a few questions:

    Laurie C — I don’t need to tear myself away; they’re only right over there, at the moment. It’s going to *work* that’s gonna be difficult.

    Chilli — true. But from what we hear, there’s no shortage of feline fosters, so when Lorna and her kits go up for adoption, we’ll simply get another crew. (Spot & Mr. Bounce don’t especially need any new permanent roomies, either.)

    Jaypo — no polish, just everyday kitten magic.

    Katiekinz — um, not much; you?

    BenP — make no mistake, there WILL be mocha. Very soon. Not for furbs tho.

    Carolyn J — TEH SOX — THEY LIIIIIIVE!!!!!

    Ceejoe — awwwww. Thanks. But Lorna’s doing all the real work, y’know.

  122. …and a tip of the ridiculous imaginary hat to Ann F, too (but not in a mocking fashion, this time).

  123. Subhangi says:

    OMFG. I LOVE that photograph!!!

  124. Tony James says:

    Tee-OH! Da kyootist kitties!!! Sounds like Mr. Bounce had a slightly rude surprise – guess he’s not used to feisty women LOL! Did he seek solace in the arms of the bunny?:)

  125. t-oh da bunny?!

  126. Theo,
    Meep? Are you sure a possum didn’t get in the mix??? 😉

  127. Gotta love the slightly cross-eyed, somewhat crazed/evil look he’s sporting here, too. Most appropriate.

  128. …btw, teho, LOL’ing at “meep!” Poor confuzzled little babykins!!

  129. Laurie C says:

    I don’t know about possums, but I always use the phrase “meeping and peeping” for the sounds kittens make.

  130. Tony James says:

    Not T-Oh da Bunny, I was thinking about Willow (da Pillow).

  131. me was being silly, tj 🙂

  132. Jaypo — that archived “straight tail” pic is EXACTLY like Lorna’s little adventurous gray-ling. I do prefer our sheets over that old blanket, though. 😉

    The kittens are all kinda curious (when they’re not nursing, or asleep, which is 98% of the time) but there’s this one little gray dude (um, we *think* he’s male) who really likes to scout around. He’s also the “kerplop” kitten from the video clip.

  133. Tony James says:

    Jaypo – dat’s Sammy! World’s Cutest Kitten (well until the next one comes along) 🙂
    T-Oh – WOAH! There’s a video clip? Where?!?!?

  134. TJ — it’s down under the “Cats In Bowls” post, but here’s that link again…

  135. OHHHHH! The video is too much! It hurts! Me thinks I’ll get as much done today as I did yesterday.

    And people think the price of oil is killing the economy – lower productivity numbers can be directly related the level of cuteness on this site!

  136. Laurie C says:

    Prepared to be pwned, people. Here is a photo of the two kittens I rescued yesterday. They’re at their first ever vet appointment (for fleas).

  137. Tony James says:

    b-DAH! Maximal Pwnage!! Welcome to our Cute Overlords!

  138. Laurie queen-of-the-boxcar-kittehs,

    I am dead! slayed, verily by the two fleabags. what qtes!

  139. EEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIII! Lauri you just keeled me with deh cuteness!!! They’re bee-yoo-tee-full!!!!

  140. LC! They’re gorgeous! They pwn me right well and outright!

  141. OUCH! Help, Laurie C.!! Totally bowled over by boxcar kitties… Want. One. Now!

  142. Laurie C — *fortunately* I’ve just received my kitty-coma booster shots. But they are TEH FUZZ all right.

  143. Tony James says:

    DAMN, T-oH – finally had the office to myself so I could watch the video with the sound up, and all I could hear was the little kittehs calling to each other. Sounded like they were saying “Weeee!”, which was scarily close to the sound the lemmings make when you blow them up (The Department of the Unnecessarily Stupid would like to remind all readers that detonating lemmings outside of certain video games is Not On).
    Don’t know how you’re going to give them up, though, especially Kaptain Kerplop.

  144. hrh.squeak says:

    My Goodness, LaurieC, I know you tried to warn us, but perhaps a big red neon sign with sparklers and sirens would be more helpful. I only have hands free to type this cause I gave up on trying to get my jaw off the ground. In other words, man they’re cute.

  145. That is soooooo cute
    *squee* Yahoo! GO CAT BOSS!

  146. Laurie C says:

    To all the boxcar kitty fans, yes, they are fuzz incarnate. I love that photo, it makes them look like a little cloud formation. And lucky I got it, too. I only had the one picture left on my roll of film (yes, Luddite).

  147. An error has occurred.

    Sorry, this is a private album. Please ask the owner to invite you.


  148. Laurie C says:

    Sorry, ceebs, here’s a link to the whole album.


  149. Fuzzybutt says:

    LOVE the stamp! HIGH FIVE!