Sthunday Night Wrap-up

Re_kittayns
Left_quotes

"…once upon a time the pwnee known as Tony James was adopted by ateenie-tiny pwner known as Siouxsie Boots (on account of beingmarmalade with 4 white boots). The pwnee thought he was being reallysmart by getting one of those catflaps with a solenoid latch that couldonly be activated by a small magnet attached to the collar ofaforementioned pwner. Pwner arrives, and is fitted with the magnet.Some nights later, the pwnee is awakened by anguished pwner yellingfrom the kitchen. Descended, expected the worst. Found pwner attachedto the fridge by means of said magnet. She didn’t see the funny side."

Posted by:Tony James |May 30, 2006 at 04:37 PM 
Right_quotes

Comments

  1. This was, indeed, wonderful. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Funniest mental picture EVER!

    go TJ ;)

  2. Hee!

  3. punkpie says:

    *giggle*

    Siouxsie Boots is a fabulous name!

  4. Laurie C says:

    Truly a classic tale for the ages. I only wish it had come with its own photo.

  5. Definitely soda-through-the-nose FUNNY!! What a great laugh!

    –TwoDragons

  6. TwoShedsJackson says:

    Ahhhh! That’s so funny – poor little Siouxsie Boots.

  7. Nothing to add to this but a snort and guffaw!

  8. A photo would be brilliant! TJ, think you can reproduce that scenario for our benefit? ;)

  9. Heheheh, yeah Tony, stick your magnetized kitty to the fridge! I’m sure she’d see the funny side of it by now.

  10. Err, sure, arbed. Kitty will be *so* amused ;)

    This is one of the funniest stories I’ve read in a while, not counting the one about Sooty the gp, of course.

  11. (tee hee)

  12. Shannon says:

    Full-fledged gigglesnorting over here. GREAT story.

  13. Svenster says:

    laughing/giggling/’awwww’-ing

    Superb story TJ!
    (Were you by any chance suggesting that the kittehs in the picture are held together by fridge magnets!? ;)

  14. Tony James says:

    I would love to submit some piks of Miss Boots in her moment of extremis, but alas she has long since passed on to the Great Litter Box In The Sky. Her successor, Mac Y’avelli, is a medium-haired black tom who weighs in at (well, we’re not sure, as the vet’s scales don’t go up that high) – he would likely drag the fridge across the kitchen, out through the catflap and into the garden, where he would hold a party of the other disreputable cats of his acquaintance. I’ve had people tell me that no greater fount of pure evil exists than Mac, and if he persists in laying waste to the small animals in their yards (voles, mice, rats, birds, butterflies, a couple of baby bunnies, and one old lady’s neurotic pommeranian, who in all fairness was fine after the stiches came out) then they would stage an intervention. To which the standard response is “Awwww, but ‘ees such a widdle softie.” Then Mac does his best to look cute, except you can see the Fires Of Hell burning in his eyes…

    Svenster – the comment was in response to Mr. Theo’s preparations for the arrival of his pwners (cat-doors, litter trays, etc.), and I felt the need to share my experiences of high-tech cat-flaps in order that his fuzzies did not find themselves in a similar situation.

  15. Svenster says:

    Yeah, I know, TJ!
    (Note to self:put in a bigger smiley next time ;)

    Would be handy though, keeping things in one place with magnets as in here:
    http://mfrost.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/p4280189.jpg
    here:
    http://mfrost.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/20060317.jpg
    here:
    http://mfrost.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/mint.jpg
    and here:
    http://mfrost.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/94218497_68bfb0f06c1.jpg

    Believe it or not – the above pics was all achieved by using medium strong magnets!

    All the best
    /Sven

  16. Still prepping, up here. Got some supplies. The cat flap I picked up is an actual *flap* too, like heavy-gauge vinyl with a white plastic surround. It’ll be very easy to attach, too, once I have the door cut-out done.

    Sven — nice collection. Just remember, tho, love is magnetic. As is ♥WUVV♥.

  17. Tony James says:

    Sven – sorry, didn’t see the smiley :) Perhaps the piks will encourage more young people to study physics at school, given the prevelance of magneticanimals ™ in nature. The third pik troubles me, however – if the animals are polarised, then presumable the magnets in their noses are positively charged and the ones in their butts are negatively charged (or vice versa). Thus in the 3rd picture, as both animals are nose to nose, then they should logically be repelled. Please explain (using diagrams where necessary) why the repellance does not occur. Show your working. To earn full points for this answer students must demonstrate an understanding of Newton’s 15th law of cutitude (“a sleeping fuzzy will continue to sleep unless an external force or forces yells “Skwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”, and picks it up and snorgles it to within an inch of its fuzzy existence.”)

  18. TJ, you are brilliant. Mac Y’avelli indeed.

    Is said Evil Mac neutered?

  19. Tony James says:

    In completely unrelated news, this guy
    http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/4823484
    is really getting around…
    http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1867040.html?menu=

  20. Tony James says:
  21. Tony James says:

    Tink – yes, he’s neutered, but it hasn’t seemed to stop him. He can benchpress 8 cans of food, in full SupaSwipe mode his paw moves at several times the speed of sound, and he’s had to have his claws registered as Concealed Weapons. He is the undisputed Patrician of the neighbourhood, feared and respected in equal parts by the other felines, while simply feared by the Bald Pinks. Is not averse to using other catflaps if he thinks that the food at number 25 is better than whatever is being dished up at home, and his appetites are best be described as undiscriminating. Neatly eviscerates anything small and squeaky foolish enough to enter the Zone Of Death, leaving the head and guts on the doorstep as proof of his conquest.
    In Mac’s defence, I should mention that the Pom started it – I mean, he was clearly spoiling for a fight, trotting along on a leash as he was.

  22. LOL, TJ!

    Have you seen this news story:

    http://apnews.myway.com/article/20060329/D8GL7P580.html

    (btw, I love my new nickname)

  23. Svenster says:

    Ah, TJ! Very observant indeed!
    You are quite right about polarities, t’will show in certain phoenomenas often observed in parks. Many people still belive that dogs actually sniff eachothers butts (Imagine, have science taught you NOTHING!) when they actually get magnetically attracted and get stuck nose to butt!!
    The third picture could not be explained until recently. Super string theory suggests the existence of magnetic monopoles, and kittens, being small and all that, could very likely be the first observed monopoles, thus attracting ANY nose and repelling all the butts.
    I decided to enclose that picture for the sake of showing you some fresh research. It will not be on the test.
    /Sven, M.Sc. Atomic Physics.
    (sorry for migh bad engrish, my bein forrinor, and all ;-)

    Read more on monopoles here:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnetic_monopole

  24. you get an A+ from me, Svenster. dunno what TJ will mark you ;)

  25. Hehe, well, CO is a tribute to animal magnetism – the mesmeric effect of cuteness ;)

    lol, TJ, you should sell the rights of your story to Nick Park for a claymation short!

  26. Svenster says:

    Cheers, Tink!

    I hope TJ’s feeling generous.

  27. Mee tinks dat the naminal magnetizm of dee dawgie and dee kitteh…in pic #3…iz cuz dey iz not dee same…lil fuzzikins is not zapped by dee dawg cuz dey wuvz each other…..negating dat polarization theory…gotta wuv it.

  28. Tony James says:

    The adjudicators have returned with their findings: Sven deserves full marks for his explanation – clearly he has undertaken independent research and is prepared to explore solutions that are not as cut and dried as “doggies n kitties is differently polarised”. In addition, bonus marks should be award for his description of kittens as examples of magnetic monopoles, as clearly they are prone to attach themselves to anything, no matter how the object is polarised. Given that the apparatus currently being used to look for these particles is known as a SQUID, perhaps we should name the particle itself in Sven’s honour – ladies and gentlemen of the Royal Society, I propose that the monopole particle henceforth be referred to as Sven’s Kitten (if Schrodinger’s cat can get a look in, I don’t see why we can’t do this), or in latin IttyBittyFelisSvennis. All in favour say “aye”.

  29. aye aye!

  30. Svenster says:

    TJ, you make me blush!
    Luv the name though, but you’re all too kind. It’s actually my Snaffron who suggested the above theory.
    I just snorgled the shoulders of giant kittens.
    :-D

    (I haven’t done any real physics since I started teaching some four years ago, but I do start off every part of the course by putting on a haiku on physics from a kittens perspective. Much appreciated! :)

  31. Do share, Svenster.

    That is, if your haikus will work in English.

  32. Tony James says:

    Is there a pik of Snaffron, Sven? I wanna see da giant kittins!

  33. Svenster says:

    Sorry Tink, they’re all in swedish I’m afraid. I’ll try and talk Snaffron into translating one or two.

    TJ, I’m thinking on subbing some nice pics of kitty to Meg, so if we’re lucky she might actually post’em!
    (would be happy to mail you a pic if you insist :)

  34. Subhangi says:

    Hila-friggin’-larious. TJ, you ever consider scriptwriting? *NOT* for runofthemill chick flicks, though – unless there are ACTUAL chicks involved. (Read the fluffy yellow ones.)