Hamilow

by Meg on May 4, 2006

[Sung to the tune of 'Copa Cobana' by Barry Manilow]

Her name was Penny, She was a hamstah
She was the-size of a coin, lots of money she purloined

She would m-e-r-i-n-g-u-e, and do the cha-cha,
She had the tiniest of ears, tiny paws and a striped rear,

And then the punches flew, and chairs were smashed in two
There was blood and a single gun shot
But just who shot who?

Unknown_1

Sent in by Emily White, owned by Dennis Milechin—a 2-week old bébé Russian dwarf hammie.

{ 81 comments }

1 Laurie 05.04.06 at 1:36 pm

She looks like a little puff of meringue.

2 DavidBoBavid 05.04.06 at 1:36 pm

Hahaha.. that’s awesome. He’s sooo tiny!!

Great caption, as usual, too.

3 GK 05.04.06 at 1:37 pm

Aw, such a wittle ball of fluff.

4 A thinker 05.04.06 at 1:39 pm

WEENSY, tiny.

I’d be afraid of losing such a wee little hammeister.

5 adorababy 05.04.06 at 1:47 pm

[Chorus:]
Well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh dwarf Hammy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh dwarf Hammy

6 Zelda 05.04.06 at 1:49 pm

No freakin’ way!!! SO SWEET I can’t stand it!

7 pheral 05.04.06 at 1:52 pm

ach! gorgeous!

8 adorababy 05.04.06 at 2:03 pm

I write the songs that make dwarf hamsters sing.
I write the songs of love and snorgling fuzzy things.
I write the songs that make the baby lesser sugar bats cry.
I write the songs, I write the songs.

9 adorababy 05.04.06 at 2:06 pm

I made it through the rain
I kept my fur protected
I made it throught the rain
I kept my cheek puffs too
I made it through the rain
And found myself besnorgled
By the others who
Got rained on too
And made it through

10 ariel 05.04.06 at 2:06 pm

aaaaah!
i wuv it!
wuv the song & meringue!
wuv adorababy, on a woll!

11 Laurie 05.04.06 at 2:07 pm

It’s a toss-up: Unrelenting ass jokes vs. the all-Manilow comment stream. I don’t know which is more deadly.

12 adorababy 05.04.06 at 2:07 pm

i can stop any time i want.

13 pheral 05.04.06 at 2:08 pm

awwww. besnorgled.

14 ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ 05.04.06 at 2:09 pm

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I WANT DAT HAMMIE! GIMME!

15 adorababy 05.04.06 at 2:09 pm

and by the way my neice has not recovered from everyone saying ‘ass’ all the time; she, I, and all right-thinking mammals agree; towit—>
domestic partner: do you want anything at the store?
me: i want cuddles
domestic partner: no one wants to cuddle you, stinky ass

16 ariel 05.04.06 at 2:09 pm

laurie, that IS a tough one! they are both so deeeelishus!
ha-ha, toss-up! will the hammy land heads or tails?

17 Laurie 05.04.06 at 2:26 pm

ariel-
Maybe if you toss her, she’ll just float away on a breeze, like a feather.

18 adorababy 05.04.06 at 2:31 pm

she looks like she would— i can’t believe she is so yellow

19 adorababy 05.04.06 at 2:41 pm

Chorus

You know I can’t snorg without you
I can’t snorg without you
I can’t zerbert and I can’t smush
I’m finding it hard to move my own tush
You see I feel cute when you’re cute
I feel djamoot when I see your snoot
If you only knew -ehn- what I’m going through -ehn-
I just can’t snorg without you

20 jaypo 05.04.06 at 2:44 pm

Awwwwww–she can hardly hold her wee head up!! Anything in cute rules re: head=bodysize?

21 ashley 05.04.06 at 2:47 pm

awwww how is that possible? she is sooo tiny!!! I want to see her face!!! Ency wency lil baby………I am all awwed out.

22 Caitlin 05.04.06 at 2:51 pm

SOOO rule #14! God help us!

…it looks kind of like when you dig in your pockets for change and you only come up with a penny and some pocket lint. Or are hammies a new form of currency?

23 ariel 05.04.06 at 2:54 pm

i’d take hammy-barter

24 mejezabel 05.04.06 at 2:57 pm

purloined – hee hee

25 Elanor 05.04.06 at 3:06 pm

Cotton puff.

26 juliette 05.04.06 at 3:07 pm

adorababy – you’re killin’ me here!! one more “ehn” and i woulda keeled over. :) :) :) :)

27 Theo 05.04.06 at 3:08 pm

A-Baby is off da HIZZLE yo.

(Apologies to Mon Schmoop, who *despises* the Ty Pennington style quasi-ebonics, and rightly so. ;)

(And E.C. — don’t let this happen to you, eh?)

28 jaypo 05.04.06 at 3:15 pm

Is that a thinly veiled reference to my deeply fatigued hallucinations about the BadA– Teddies, Teo?! If it is, it’s well-deserved!!! So there.

29 Beauregard 05.04.06 at 3:17 pm

Dryer lint isn’t cute! Oh … wait a minute … (head explodes)

30 arbed 05.04.06 at 3:49 pm

Awwww, I sent this in ages ago. :-(

But I’m glad it at least made it onto the site. I still can’t believe the size of the little guy – and I don’t mean Lincoln.

31 juggle geese 05.04.06 at 3:49 pm

If hammies were a new form of currency than maybe I would not constantly try to get rid of surplus change.

32 ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ 05.04.06 at 3:51 pm

heres a cute site where u can adopt your own virtual pet, and [if u have your own site] you can put in on there!
http://bunnyherolabs.com/adopt/

33 Theo 05.04.06 at 3:53 pm

If hammies were a new form of currency then WE’D NEVER RUN OUT OF CASH. Talk about your compound interest.

(side note — w00t for the Firefly reference, “Juggle Geese”!)

34 ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ 05.04.06 at 3:55 pm

Schmoop, since that wasn’t put in C.O. glassary *cough*Theo*cough* i have to ask what does schmoop mean?

35 ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ 05.04.06 at 3:56 pm

oh whoa-a-a-a-ao i know that you love me too moog but i definetely cannot ever be forever with out your tiny snorg!

36 Theo 05.04.06 at 3:58 pm

Someday, LDCH, you’ll have a schmoopie of your own.

http://www.squidgrid.com/cute/Glossary.htm#Schmoop

Might want to see to that cough, there.

37 you guys r silly 05.04.06 at 4:06 pm

holy god in heaven — I was * completely * smacked * senseless * with wee tiny hammie preciousness…
aaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhh!!!
I would LURVE to *snorgle* the tinyness but I’d be afraid hammie would be snorted right up my nostril!!!

38 E. Collison 05.04.06 at 4:07 pm

Well, Theo, all I did was mention “merengue” and… ;)

*Very* schweet ’ster.

39 pheral 05.04.06 at 4:10 pm

adorababy, you’re rocking my socks off! there they go. i liked those socks, too.

40 M- 05.04.06 at 4:10 pm

Can one hemmorage from such cuteness, if so I think I just did!

41 E. Collison 05.04.06 at 4:14 pm

Now seriously, peeps, why did “Penny” purloin coins?

Enquiring minds and all that…

42 you guys r silly 05.04.06 at 4:24 pm

try (if you can…) to *actually picture* the miniscule teeny weeny “honk-shu” that this precious microscopic hammie is making here…… (eeeek!)

43 hashi mashi 05.04.06 at 4:29 pm

Hahaha! I expected that last part of the song to be related, however I feel it fits in a most awesome way :D

I’d smash chairs and fire guns for a hammy!

44 ebichu 05.04.06 at 4:33 pm

Our Roborowski dwarf hamster Flipper Montoya was sent to hammie heaven today, and I swore that I would NEVER EVER get a new one because of the pain of seeing him suffer and die.

This picture has changed my mind. God, after all, gave us humans hamsters (and cats and dogs and rats and fat ponies and baby goats and…) to ensure us that true happiness always comes at a price.

Love ya, Flipper.

45 Woods walker 05.04.06 at 4:34 pm

The little guy is so………beyond cute there should be another term for extreme cuteness.-Woods Walker

46 E. Collison 05.04.06 at 4:38 pm

“God, after all, gave us humans hamsters (and cats and dogs and rats and fat ponies and baby goats and…”

And bunnies and hedgehogs – oh, my! [Hee.]

47 E. Collison 05.04.06 at 4:40 pm

Oh – and woodchucks.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

- Quite the philosophical conundrum, that.

48 mariser 05.04.06 at 4:43 pm

ebichu,

so sorry for your loss of Flipper. I hope your next hamster brings you as much love.

49 jaypo 05.04.06 at 4:44 pm

And Woods Walkers–how much Wood would a Walker walk if a walker could walk woods? ;-)

50 jaypo 05.04.06 at 4:47 pm

Ebichu, I’m so sorry about your beloved little Flipper passing on. Our animal companions do teach us so many wonderful things. I hope you have hammie happiness in your life again soon!

51 Driver B 05.04.06 at 5:14 pm

Holy cannoli, how can one ham-ham be sooooo small?!

52 Brenda 05.04.06 at 5:21 pm

Great. After reading the post, Copacabana was stuck in my head and I was forced to download the Essential Barry Manilow collection from iTunes.

Cute wittle hammy, but SHEESH!

53 Aubrey 05.04.06 at 5:21 pm

That is a very teeny hamster or a very large snowdrop.

54 Mina 05.04.06 at 5:29 pm

Bite sized!! Once you pop, you cant stop! SO CUTE!! :D

55 ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ 05.04.06 at 5:46 pm

so schmoop is someone that works at c.o.? or is it a couple? cuz that didn’t help me

56 ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ 05.04.06 at 5:52 pm

omg! dat tineeeeeeeee at two weeks!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i ‘tink i giong to esplode from dee cuteness! *boom*

57 A Fine Morsel 05.04.06 at 6:03 pm

One hammie hors d’oeuvre, coming right up!

58 TheIdleReceptionist 05.04.06 at 6:33 pm

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

….
…..
……..*thud*

59 wodge 05.04.06 at 7:18 pm

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Bump bump bump yeah, you can’t touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Look man, you can’t touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
You’ll probably get hyped boy ’cause you know you can’t, you can’t touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Ring the bell school’s back in, break it down!
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Stop! hamster time!
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) you can’t touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) you can’t touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) you can’t touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) break it down!
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Stop! hamster time!

Every time you see me, that hamster’s just so hype
I’m dope on the floor and I’m magic on the mic
Now why would I ever stop doing this
With others makin’ records that just don’t hit
I toured around the world from London to The Bay
It’s hamster go hamster MC hamster Yo hamster and the rest can go and play

You can’t touch this (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
You can’t touch this (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
You can’t touch this (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Yeah, you can’t touch this
I told you, you can’t touch this (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Too hype can’t touch this
Get me outta here, you can’t touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

60 HaileySqueek 05.04.06 at 7:33 pm

I love the teeny tiny hammies. Keep ‘em coming!

61 adorababy 05.04.06 at 7:38 pm

1) ’schmoop’ is, I believe, a term of endearment given by Fffeo to his significant other… I believe I first heard the term on Seinfeld, the ‘Soup Nazi’ episode

2) MC Hammer is not Barry Manilow. This may seem obvious to you, but for some… not so obvious

62 Theo 05.04.06 at 8:07 pm

A-Baby —
1) Yep. Dunno bout soup nazis.
2) [does quick Google] …holy $#!t, you’re right.

63 adorababy 05.04.06 at 8:13 pm

theo,

1) If you’re ever in Manhattan, we can take you to the Soup Nazi’s restaurant in the UWS (he’s not there anymore)
2) you are extremely funny & make me laugh every day
3) fictional neice still traumatized from yesterday’s use of the word ‘ass’

64 The Guy Over There 05.04.06 at 8:20 pm

This one definitely competes with the dust ball rabbit for furry fluff. o_O

65 Denita TwoDragons 05.04.06 at 10:47 pm

It’s a hamster that could saddle up and ride a hummingbird! EENY TEENY TEE-NINESY WIDDLE FUZZYYEEEEEEhurrrk–Oh man, I need to clean these rainbow chunks off my shirt now…

;-)

–TwoDragons

66 Mark356 05.04.06 at 10:54 pm

OMG!! *squeak* That is so cute it’s almost unbearable; it’s just so tiny!! I love it!

67 greenighs 05.04.06 at 11:39 pm

Imagine having to focus your lens on that? Still looks fuzzy, better zoom a little … nope, fuzzy, still, maybe pull back a little … Hmm, penny is in focus, hand is in focus, but the hammy is still a blur ….

68 Aubrey 05.04.06 at 11:57 pm

Hammy is clearly not meant to be seen by the human eye.

69 ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ 05.05.06 at 12:33 am

did anyone ever watch that cuuuuuuute little show “Hammie the Hamster” in the ’90’s? I would get up at six in the morning to watch with my mom, O loved that shw, O was so crushed when i found out the took it off the air. oh and now im sad :(

70 ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ 05.05.06 at 12:37 am

It’s a hamster that could saddle up and ride a hummingbird
ommigawd! you gave me a cute,A. story idea and B. self exploding mental image that must never have meant to have been seen by human eyes because *explodes from too much cute*

71 Aubrey 05.05.06 at 12:40 am

I’m not sure if this is what you’re talking about, LDCH – still maybe it’ll take you mind off your hammy grief:

http://www.hammyhamster.com/history.shtml

72 E. Collison 05.05.06 at 1:18 am

Our local animal puppet TV show was called “Percy Platypus,” and no – I am not making this up.

Strange but true: this show was produced in Lancaster, PA, USA. I am not now, nor have I ever been, an Australian.

73 ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ 05.05.06 at 1:24 am

thank you Aubrey *hug* [that might have been ackward, i wish id know you better] dat made me happy to hammy the hamster again

74 Diane N 05.05.06 at 3:39 pm

OMG, I tewtally thought that was a quarter the first time I saw the pic!! Kinda makes the head explode, just trying to think about how teeny that baby really is…

75 vaara 05.05.06 at 3:59 pm

Russian, eh? Must be one of those purebred filigree Siberian hamsters.

/Fawlty Towers

76 Alison 05.06.06 at 8:02 am

That. is the cutest coin I have ever seen! Look at that little Abe Lincoln! Looketim!!!

77 ~**~ 05.06.06 at 6:05 pm

AWWWW! THAT IS SOOOOO CUTE!

78 codymc 05.17.06 at 8:49 pm

This was totally ganked from cnn’s gallery of user submitted photos

cnn.com/pets

79 Betsy Markum 05.23.06 at 6:29 am

I can’t believe it, my co-worker just bought a car for $34668. Isn’t that crazy!

80 Meghan 05.26.06 at 7:02 am

*head explodes*

81 Poop 08.05.06 at 8:14 pm

ZOMFG SOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!
*head implodes from cutieness*

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