I’m gonna pop a bear in your ass

Bear_gunLeave it to the Japanese (AGAIN) to come up with new, brilliant ways to celebrate good times. Come on!

The gun-shaped party cracker that shoots out a teddy bear was bravely submitted by alert reader Usama "One-pixel off!" H.

The full story here.

Comments

  1. Haha I just read the caption. Love it :)

  2. Say hello to my little (cuddly) friend!

  3. Heehee! That’s high calibre!

  4. oh my jolly barfin’ rainbows! the teddy has a parachute to parachute down! how cute! not to mention very creative.

  5. sorry, you can’t really see the parachute in the picture but it says so in the link!

  6. Rachelle says:

    Haha! Coincidentally, TokyoTimes also blogged about this:

    http://www.wordpress.tokyotimes.org/?p=826

    A little more info there. :)

  7. Oh my gosh!!! That is the cutest coolest thing ever!! I’m sooo shooting a teddybear at my wedding! (My boyfriend just wants the gun.)

  8. Shooting teddy bears into the air? Could this be a trend that could catch on in the US? I thought it was interesting that the company also makes paintball guns to shoot at escaping prisoners…

  9. Aubrey says:

    Beware the teddy in the air:

    “Yeah, them smokeys as thick as bugs on a bumper
    They even had a bear in the air
    I says “Callin’ all trucks, this here’s the Duck
    We about to go a-huntin’ bear”

  10. funniest. headline. evar. I could barely (pardon the pun) stop laughing long enough to inspect the cuddly weapon at hand. priceless…

  11. …and this guy looks like he could be James Bond’s new nemesis! The Ursinator…(Villain voice: How would you like your teddy, Mr. Bond? Pink? Or blue? heh heh)

  12. Aubrey says:

    “Do you expect me to walk?”

    “No, Mr. Bear, I expect you to fly!”

  13. proshest.
    weapon.
    evar.

  14. Svenster says:

    OMG, I think our civilization just reached its peak! This thing beats particle accelerators BIG TIME!

    But I do wonder – will it shoot toy bunnies?

  15. Svenster says:

    Fluff-duel anyone?

  16. OMG!!! Flying teddies!!!

  17. Meg-atron…

    The headline is…

    Well,

    “I’m gonna pop a bear in your ass.”

    I’ve asked for your hand in marriage before, and I’m asking again! Let’s git hitched!

  18. pheral says:

    Lmfao Aubrey!

    I went to a firework display in Belfast once where one of the fireworks actually reigned down mini teddy-bears with parachutes. That was also muchos cool. I don’t think they’ve done it since though. Knowing our luck some of them probably became flaming teddy-bears and killed small dogs on their descent or something. Little flaming teddy-bears of doooom… (i sense i’ve gone of a slight tangent in this comment)

  19. ashley fleming says:

    I would like to see a bird try to eat that!!!

  20. the only thing cuter than a bear-gun is the list of news links following the ‘full story’…
    “Lack of teeth tied to increased medical expenses for elderly.” Awwww!!!!

  21. Space Pastry says:

    That is frick’n awesome! They came up with this product because people were starting to throw teddy bears up in the air at weddings. Japan rocks my socks!

  22. Hi everyone.. long time lurker here, but I’ve never posted before.

    I had to post this time, because that caption was totally awesome, and I wanted to comment on that.

  23. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    ooh step, i think it would be cute if you did and then took a picture [it might get posted]

  24. Tony James says:

    I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six bears or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Kitten, the most powerful beargun in the world, and would blow your bunnies clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel anerable? Well, do ya punk?

  25. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    sorry type-o, steph good luck on your wedding!

  26. pheral says:

    lmao! Tony, you just made my day (punk).

  27. Beauregard says:

    Dangit! I just saw this on engadget and came to email. Apparently Meg is on the ball.

  28. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    its a shame though :( the tebby bewis so cute

  29. The Guy Over There says:

    Wow, I can’t think of any comments anywhere near as funny as some of the things you guys said, so I’ll just give you all the raspberry for being so creative. :P

  30. wow, we’ve moved into a strange realm of metaphysical cuteness, in that:
    1. the picture is not very cute
    2. the IDEA is cute
    and thus we understand “cute” despite its visual lack.
    or, upon consideration, maybe i do think this bear-gun guy is kinda cute

  31. Shoot Teddy Bears Not Bullets.

    and dk: “The Ursinator”: LOL.

  32. Tony James says:

    Which brings us to “Support the right to arm bears”?

  33. *tee hee* @ TJ. Very good!

  34. pheral says:

    bwahaha! quit it you guys! i keep spitting tea everywhere.

    i always quite enjoyed campaigning for my ‘right to bare arms’. Fnar fnar.

  35. Heeheehee…Meg said ‘ass’…

  36. adorababy says:

    I thought this was supposed to be a family website! I wanted to show my cute little neice a picture of the nice man with the pink teddy-bear gun and she is FORCED to read the word “ass” right there. Right there in the headline. Since then, she had dropped out of 3rd grade and has been seen hanging around 2nd avenue trying to score honeycomb. It’s not funny, it’s not cute, it’s an unbearable shame. I should have coffee now- I’m sorry to have written what I just did.

  37. Is this the secret weapon the otters were working on? Or was it the Iranians?
    So much misinformation in the media these days…

  38. ASS
    teddy bears
    ASS
    guns
    ASS
    teddy bear guns

  39. i keep thinking of a squadron of little teddy bear wedding paratroopers and sqeeeeeeeing

  40. whut?

  41. Thats it… I can take it no more, I challenge you to a duel… it will be bears at 10 paces!

    Wait… another thought… can I have an automatic version that just shoots all kinds of fluffy wonderfulness? Kittys and bunnys and bears… OH YEAH!

  42. p-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d!

  43. Tish wait… add Flight of the Valkaries as the soundtrack its even better! *g*

    I love the smell of fluff in the morning…

  44. Ariel — you’re having way to much fun with this.
    Assity ass assing assy ass.
    Arse.

  45. adorababy says:

    i cant believe ariel and theo said “ass” – this site is obviously anti-family and pro-teddy-bear-gun

  46. Laurie says:

    This provides even more justification for Steven Colbert to keep bears on the Threatdown list.

    Guns don’t kill people with cuteness, bears kill people with cuteness.

    Or, for ariel, cutenASS.

  47. pheral says:

    donkey!!

  48. Laurie says:

    adorababy, was your niece also horribly offended that the bear is “bear” naked in that tube?

    Okay, that’s it, I shall not pun again.

  49. The word ass is dizgustin’! What’s the mattah witchoo people,huh? Fer cryin’ out loud…I wouldn’t come back here in a teddy bear’s ass!! Cheezus…some people…

    Hey, on *another* note–anyone notice it’s taking forEVAR to load CO pages?

  50. JPO – Six Apart has been having issues, apparently. Both TypePad and LiveJournal services were largely offline last night. I admit, I had the twitchies.

  51. Eat dinner…try CO…clean up…try CO…watch tv and try CO…try CO…try CO…go to bed and have bad dreams.

  52. pheral says:

    :O

    d..donkey?

    ::sobs::

  53. adorababy says:

    Laurie,

    You can’t can’t bears to do anything right. They whizz where and whenever they want to. That is where the expressions “bear with me” and “bear to the right” come from. They are barely civilized at all. That is where the expressions “bear balling” and “ball bearing” come from.

    Yes, my CO is running slow also.

  54. laurie– i believe you mean “bear-ass naked”
    and the slownass is killin me! when you want to check every 5 min, and it takes 5 min to load.
    note yesterday’s comment on cute SLOWverload

  55. adorababy says:

    i meant to say “you can’t get bears to do anything right,” but I didn’t do it right. i blame the big smelly bears

  56. pheral says:

    hrm, so traumatised i was by the departure of donkey, that i seem to have developed repetitive trauma disorder all over the flipping blog. apologies.

  57. poor widdle pheral,
    yes a donky is an ass, but so is yr bum! be happeeeeeee! bears.

  58. Pheral — you gotta watch the next one in the series, too. Unbelievably relevant… ;)

  59. pheral says:

    ::watches::

    ackakaguh

    the pun.. it *burns*…

    (ariel: my bum is a donkey? i resemble that comment! it might be a bit mishapen but it tewtelly does NOT have hooves, and there i make my stand)

  60. “In addition to paint products, Sunamiya produces a paintball marker used to fire paintballs at escaping criminals so they can be identified and captured.”

    I have got to get a job at this company.

  61. your happy weebl shows are a bit lengthy and weird-sounding to play at the reception desk.

  62. haw! donkey-bum, AKA jackass-ass!

  63. pheral says:

    Shirly just ass-ass? Unless my name were Jack. Which it isn’t.
    I have my sound on my comp turned off, for the purpose of stealth-skiving at work.

  64. At some point, you know, we’re going to have to get clever again. Although crass is fun sometimes. And it rhymes.

  65. pheral says:

    Rubbish, i’ve spent my entire life not being clever.

  66. I don’t know, lmao as it is. Call me donkeyless and less. :-p

  67. p.s.–did you notass on the sidebar that ze cowboys like to l’ass-o ze calf?

  68. Today was not the day. I shouldn’t have watched the cartoon. Sigh. I hope there’s a bunch of cute when I get back, cuz I’m going to need it.

  69. Laurie says:

    New photo, Meg! So we can get our minds out of the pink and fuzzy gutter!

  70. pheral says:

    i LIKE the pink and fuzzy gutter! don’t take me awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

    (ps: i just completely laughed my donkey off @ jaypo)

  71. okay, okay.
    i slap my own wrist.

  72. So…you have a pheral ass? Does it bite?

  73. pheral says:

    i take the fifth.

  74. ohhhhhhhh, i am a BAD boo-boo today! theo you will be so ANGREEEEE

  75. :)
    This is sooo cute.
    I want one.
    And I love the guy’s expression. He’s sooo serious about his teddy gun!

  76. moptopmouse says:

    Oh we get it this is from ‘Jackass 2: JAPANEXTREME’ w/Steve-O/Johnny Knoxville, that thing is similar to the hillbilly bazooka & ‘skwid’lander..

  77. NEW TERROR THREAT! WOMCs!
    Weapons of Mass Cuteness!
    Aiiiieeeeeee!!!!

  78. This is so going / already is to be an OVA. I can see it … a cute 12 year old fighting crime by shooting teddy bears who come alive and use their super power of love and cuteness and fuzzyness to submit evildoers.

  79. Bubbles says:

    Excuse me sir, do you have a license to carry that bear? Sorry, that’s the best I could do. Tummyache.

  80. Diane N says:

    Papa Bear where? EWWWWWWWW!

  81. adorababy says:

    “It’s such a fine line between stupid & clever,” – David St. Hubbins

  82. “i take the fifth.”
    …sez the English parliamentary type. ;)
    Do you maybe mean “a” fifth, as in 0.757 of a liter of JD?

  83. Teughcats says:

    I dunno, Theo, I think (based on all the previous posts today) that “the Captain was here!” And it might have been more than a fifth…

  84. you guys r silly says:

    OK — 2 thoughts:
    1. Tommy James – shouldn’t it be “the right to bear bears???”
    and
    2. regarding the caption: is this one of Bush’s “weapons of ASS destruction”???
    &:o?

  85. u bin m00nd says:

    ( )*( )

  86. wow…id love one of them for my wedding on day! ^-^
    i wonder if its coming to the U.K???

  87. pheral says:

    I’ll thank you kindly sir, i am the *Irish* parlimentary type. :P

    And i’m teetotal! So ha, there goes your fifth theory. Which i guess leaves the only explanation for today to be…er.. insanity. Um. Now then, how did that backfire so badly? (if anyone cracks an ass joke about ‘backfiring’ i shall let loose the Flaming Teddies of Doom)

  88. adorababy says:

    I envy us.

  89. Gosh, 90 comments already? Don’t tell me that there is some trouble a-bruin…

  90. Irish teetotaller, eh? Yet another stereotype, down in flames… my world is crashing down around me… can’t bear it…

  91. Aubrey says:

    Here’s to good friends
    This site is kind of special
    The bears that soar
    With guns that blaze and roar on sight
    Tonight – look out below for bear!

  92. The title alone will keep me laughing for the rest of the week! Thanks!

  93. fawn lust says:

    “Developers hit on the idea after noticing that it had become a trend for people to throw teddy bears into the air instead of bouquets at wedding receptions.”

    omg japan, you are truly the best at everything!

  94. AuntieMame says:

    The problem at weddings, however, is not when the bouquet (or bear) is airborne. It’s when it lands and all the crazy old women start fighting over it that the trouble starts. It’s like they really believe that they’ll be the next one to get married if they catch the darned thing. Get grip, fools! The kind of man who is interested in that kind of pathetic desperation is not the kind of man you want to marry!

    (And I’d insert an ass joke, butt I can’t think of any.)

  95. Meg! YOOHOO!! We need another picture!!

  96. I wanna see a picture of the pink fuzzy bear floating ever so gently down from the skies. It would be very moving.
    *sniff

  97. Tony James says:

    Flaming Teddies of Doooooooooooooooom! Bwa haha aha ha ah ah haha haha ha! (©Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, and Hammer Films Ltd.)

  98. AuntieMame,
    Amen, sister! I’ve always hated the stupid grappling for the wedding bouquet. There’s such a sad, desperate air about it.

  99. 101st!!! W00t!!!

    Jaypo, I think you’re right. We need another picture to divert us from our self-created madness.

    And AuntieMame, Zelda: These bears are not made to replace the wedding bouquet, but rather the rice which is normally tossed at the bride. So instead of a gaggle of women fighting over a lone pink teddy bear, picture whole battalions of teddy bears floating down from the sky on their parachutes. Aaaahhh…

  100. Aubrey says:

    Tony:

    Especially those Frederick’s teddies. Cheap polyester.

    It’s what I’ve heard, anyway.

  101. pheral says:

    Respect to that B-movie laugh, there.

    And Theo, i am always happy to ASSist in the breakdown of social stereotypes. And the initiation of personal breakdowns, it seems.

  102. displayname says:

    It’s the first test tube teddy!

  103. Laurie says:

    AuntieMame,
    “It’s like they really believe that they’ll be the next one to get married if they catch the darned thing.”

    Right on! Maybe it’s what first! post!-ers think will happen for them, too?

  104. “So instead of a gaggle of women fighting over a lone pink teddy bear, picture whole battalions of teddy bears floating down from the sky on their parachutes. Aaaahhh…”

    Indeed. Silly? Yes – but a welcome distraction from the bouquet thing. (I’ve always tried to avoid that myself…)

  105. buddhabear says:

    arwo:

    “Trouble a-bruin”?

    Ha!

  106. BadAss Bear scene:

    Yo Baby Bear: Yo who ate my porraahhddge?!
    Yo Papa Bear: Nobody touch yo’ porridge, BadAss Baby Bear.
    Yo BadAss Mama Bear: Whatsa matter with my porridge, you too badass for my porridge?!

    I’m at home sick and sooo bored….

  107. Dustbunny says:

    I believe the Flaming Teddies of Doom are another harbinger of the coming Cutepocalypse. Be afraid. Be vewwy vewwy afwaid.

    Either that, or it’s a great name for a fluffy death-metal band.

  108. Tony James says:

    “Trouble a-bruin”?
    Oh dearie dearie me…you see it’s only when the pik is up there for so long that people resort to puns of this frankly woeful standard. Meg – please please please let us have another pik!?

  109. whar’s fffffeo?
    he can post too

  110. pheral says:

    No, The Flaming Teddies of Doom are yet another indication that one shouldn’t give explosives and fluffy things to the irish.

    There there ariel, fee-oh shall return. I could dress up like him in the meantime and gallop about? Would that help?

  111. Ariel — I can post, but I can’t *publish.* I have “junior author” access… and anyway all I have time for today is quick little comments & links, sorry.

  112. PS — I phear pheral. [shivers]

  113. pheral says:

    you’ll get used to it. >:P

  114. TJ–Sorry if my puns aren’t up to your standards; I am but a humble punner’s apprentice. Perhaps you and my Master can get together, and he can regale you with tales of my unbearable punnery. And vice v-ursa.

  115. pheral says:

    i think you mean mASSter.

    oh god. somebody stop me.

  116. *snort*

    Get thee to a punnery.

  117. Sorry, “junior author” access precludes me from deleting comments.
    ;)

  118. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    Shoot Teddy Bears Not Bullets
    A Thinker, brava! wonderful anti-gun campaign!

  119. Tony James says:

    I’m not a pheasant-punner, I’m a pheasant-punner’s son…

  120. pheral says:

    >>Get thee to a punnery

    I SPY SQUEE!

    >>”junior author” access precludes me

    i think you mean ASScsess.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOOOooOOOo…

  121. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    adorababy, just tell her thats what they call a donkey

  122. Aubrey says:

    This site has way too many pundits.

  123. pheral says:

    i think you mean ASS.

    sorry. that wasn’t even a pun. i’ve gone over the edge.
    ::goes over the edge:: aaaaaaaaaaa…

  124. AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH….

    E.C., I’m with you. NO bouquets for me.

    Jaypo, I hope the puns have made you feel better.

  125. “This site has way too many pundits.”

    Screeeeaaaaaaammmmmm!!!!!!!!!

  126. Indeedy do, AT! Just up from a nap and on to Wonder-ful new picts, thankee!

  127. mopTOPmouse says:

    Fred:well we’re gonna name our boat the Nautilus..Barney:no Fred we’re gonna name it Sea Witch..Fred and Barney decide to compromise and next frame viewer sees new boat name ‘THE NAUSEA’so this novelty has many uses..hmm..

  128. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    i swear sometimes these jokes are SO tacky but funny and irresistable non-the-less

  129. tl;dr :)
    do you have stairs in your house, anyone? ;)

  130. If you like the Teddy Bear Gun, you’ll love their Hello Kitty: Surface to Air Rocket Launcher. (Free ammo with purchase.)

  131. Who?

  132. yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

  133. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    am i the only *other* person that knows who hello kitty is!? even I still like h.k.,she has kewel purses n stuff and awsome bags!

  134. Love the pictures that you post, but is this kind of language necessary? I’m sure that it isn’t.
    J.D.

  135. Luclle says:

    I’m rethinking my policy of unlimited Cute viewing for my 10 year old after this caption. We turned all of her friends onto your site as well, which I’m sure I’ll be hearing about tomorrow. By the way – it IS funny!

  136. Theo:

    Hello Kitty is a cartoon character created by licensing company Sanrio. Hello Kitty merchandise ia very big part of the Japanese culture of cuteness, or “Kawaii”.

    All my friends had Hello Kitty stuff when I was a kid. To me it represents the fine line between what is cute & cuddly and what is creepy & weird. See also: Teletubbies. *shudder*

  137. Excuse me, that should be: “is a very big part of the Japanese culture of cuteness, or “Kawaii”. (Also click on the name for link to Wiki article.)

  138. Anne — I don’t actually need the ‘splainin, but thanks anyway. My story is “Hello Kitty who?” and I’m sticking to it.

    Jim & Luclle (sp?) — ssssssssssnore.

  139. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    See also: Teletubbies. *shudder*
    anne i sooo agree with that! teletubbies and barney are the devils tools to brainwash the masses!

  140. ♥'s G.D. & animals ☺ says:

    the ass jokes that are going on here are tacky but for the girls there a shirt from the alloy [and no not allure] catolauge that says “smart ::donkey picture::” which interperate to smart ass, i like the shirt and the girls that made the ass jokes i think you probably have a similar shirt or now that i mentioned it will order it fromm http://www.alloy.com now

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