Worst pick-up lines ever

Hey Baby. Can I your phone number? I seem to have lost mine. Aw, just kiddin’ Baby.  Seriously, is your Dad a mechanic? ’cause you got all the right parts. No seriously, seriously. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock! [tail chompage]


If beauty was crime, you’d be in for life, Eva H.



  1. Wisefool says:

    Niiiiice. This is how my husband got me.

  2. You can get cute pictures anywhere, but Meg’s captions rule. Freakin’ hilarious.

  3. Wisefool — about four thousand lewd wisecracks just flashed through my head. As I am a mature adult, however [ahem], I’ll spare you & everyone else.

    …and this is an *awesome* photo. Two words: LION PAWS.

  4. i sure would like me a piece a’ that tail!

  5. Ariel — please to be getting out of my head now many thank yous.

    Count now stands at three thousand nine hundred ninety-nine.

  6. ♥♥♥ l.c.d.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    please to be getting out of my head now many thank yous.

    Count now stands at three thousand nine hundred ninety-nine

    whats dat mean?

  7. ♥♥♥ l.c.d.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    oh i wish i had a camera when I saw what the tigers were doing [yes THAT!!]

  8. ithn’t it obviouth?

  9. does that make me definitely NOT a mature adult? yaaaay!

  10. “We’re going SHOPPING for the baby’s room NOW!”

  11. can’t… breathe…
    laughing… too hard…

  12. “Nyeerhe! Stop! Come back here!”

  13. In honor of the late great Buck Owens, let’s all sing along:

    I’ve got a tiger by the tail
    It’s plain to see
    I won’t be much when you get through with me
    Well, I’m a-losing weight and a-turnin’ mighty pale
    Looks like I’ve got a tiger by the tail

  14. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.k. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    u spend to much time in front of the radio

  15. Best one I’ve heard: “Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants all night.”

  16. It’s the past, coming back to bite you in the ass.

  17. Elizabeth says:

    Oh! The giant feetses! They are the paws that refreshes! *falls over and dies dreaming of squishing the giant kitty paws*

  18. See.. LCDH… the problem here is that you’re using first post for evil instead of good. It’s not a contest, they’re cute pictures. I understand your excitement as the first nerd in a nerd herd to discover something, but maybe comment on the picture instead of using the site to feel like the coolest nerd. That being said… this picture makes it hard not to leave work and go adopt a kitty!!!

  19. And yes, I realize this is under the wrong picture, but I suppose it doesn’t matter. It was my computers fault anyway. I’ve said my piece *stepping off of soapbox*.

  20. Kitty Chiropractor: Okay so I’m going to pull your tail which will realign the vertebre, ready? *popopopopopopopopop*

    And thank you Katie, most eloquent and gentle, much applaude.

  21. I’ve updated the entry for “Cronshe” in the Glossary to include today’s chompage. Too perfect.

  22. AuntieMame says:

    “Now young man, I’ve talked to and talked to you and talked to you ’til I’m blue in the face, and I’m done talking to you!”

    “Good, does that mean you’re done spittin’ on me, too?”

    “Shut up, I’m not done talking to you.”

  23. Tony James says:

    “In a triumph of persistence over reality, Simba finally managed to catch her own tail.”

  24. [laughing out loud]
    [fully spelled out, even]

  25. What you don’t see in this picture is that these are but two in a whole *line* of kitties.

  26. Yah, looks like they’re *lion* dancing!

    (I know, that was realllly bad…but irresistable.)

  27. Tony James: *Hahahahahahahah* That was awesome!!! *wipes away tear*
    I just loooooves kitties, especially the big ones. Big ones mean more fur to snuggle.

  28. teehee. I can almost hear the conga music, thinker. Or are they doing the bunny hop?

  29. ailurophile says:

    You put your right paw in, you put your right paw out, you put your right paw in and give a tail a chomp…

  30. Laurie says:

    I’m seeing this picture the other way around. The dude on the right is all “I’m too tired to walk, tow me around, bro.”

  31. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.k. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    A) i didn’t post first here B) why did u just make a boring huge fuss about it?

  32. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.k. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    sorry atier i didn’t read your second post b4 i posted mine, *slaps forehead* i a dee dee dee

  33. Zombie says:


  34. LOL @ jaypo.

    Yet Another Pun.

  35. tj- YES!!!
    on another note, i didn’t know this was cute SLOWverload…(snort)

  36. “I know, that was realllly bad…but irresistable.”

    jaypo – yep!

    The furrriness!!!

  37. Also – great Cap-shOns and “chompage.”

  38. Aubrey says:

    flashbacks…white lions…”Kimba”…


  39. Kristen says:

    Hey guys! I got my shirt today! Horray! =)

  40. Dude.

    Cutest Pic Ever.


  41. I’ve seen a photo of a little cub clamped onto the end of Dad’s tail, being dragged across the dirt, and Dad is looking over his shoulder at Mom with the expression, “Do you see what YOUR KID is doing here?!”

  42. A Fine Morsel says:

    “Don’t go, dahlink. I lof you, truly. Come, I’ve saved a rabbit carcass just for the occaishon.”

  43. Hey Thinker…
    (takes a while to load)

  44. Theo: LOL *and* LOL!!

    Geez. How do you guys find the time to do all this Photoshop malarkey?

  45. kendosan says:

    Finally, photographic proof that screen-wrapping isn’t just a classic arcade game phenomenon; and it comes in the form of a big kitty chomping its own tail! Excellent. The fellows at the physics department can’t laugh at my Holographic-Panamorphic Arcade Universe theory now! Take that Stephen Hawking!

  46. Once again, Theo rocks. I love it!

  47. Jackie says:

    “Nyerrrgh! Get back heeere!”

  48. Aubrey says:

    “Those are skin-tight. How do you get into those pants, baby?”

    “You can start by buying me a drink.”

  49. Erica E. says:

    The single worst line I’ve ever gotten was yelled out a car window as I was walking to class…..

    “Hey baby! You want some fries with that shake.”


  50. Michelle says:

    HahahaHahahah. white_lion_cub_pull is teh awwwesome!

  51. Thank you!

    Kendosan — you *really* tempted me to add a little pixel-y Defender spaceship to the lion anim, blasting away, but I *really* need to get some work done. (Yes, Thinker, I *work*) (sometimes)

  52. Wait, wait… here’s a classy line no woman can resist…

    “Nice boobs, want to f*ck?”

    No kidding I was swept of my feet… really…. with shock and horror!

  53. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    dood theo howd u do that?!?!

  54. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    here we find ourselves again with a lion cub that was born with out a silver spoon in his mouth, but, a furry tail. more news after this

  55. Tony James – hilarious. very much in the tradition of hitchhikers guide to the galaxy brand humour, just classic!

    and theo, that animation is just awesome. I don’t think you should ever work, it would be a waste of your talents!

  56. “dood theo howd u do that?!?!”

    I are MAJIKL.
    (…and I’ve got the GIMP Animation Package on my PC)

  57. Tony James says:

    Props to Mr. Theo for the gif – outstanding, sir!

  58. “I don’t think you should ever work, it would be a waste of your talents!”

    Aww… I ♥ my peeps. Seriously.

    (but if I don’t get a whole bunch of data columns mapped and ready for export, here, me & my *other* peeps are gonna be in the doodie)

  59. Aubrey says:

    On Animal Planet: Extreme Animal Dancing. Tonight: The Kimba Conga – tomorrow we continue with The Lamb-ada; and on Thursday we visit a barnyard phoenomena: The Turkey Trot.

    p.s. And, for real, on AP, 10PM eastern time: “The Secret Life of Otters”!

  60. See what I mean?
    How could you *not* love this place??

  61. Tony James says:

    The Secret Life of Otters? Eh? What kind of secret life do otters have? 5pm, knocking off time, stop being cute and fuzzy with anerable head-to-ear ratios and go down the pub? The secret being, where do they keep their loose change, and do otter-suits have pockets? Or is this a “White House Leaks Valerie Plame Actually Aquatic Mammal With Penchant For Eating Eels (European) And Beating Clams On A Stone That She Holds On Her Fuzzy Widdle Belly (American Sea) Shock” thing?
    Or if anyone ever read the Spellsinger series (Alan Dean Foster), are we looking at the kinds of things that Mudge gets up to of an evening in the Elegant Bitch?

  62. Theo, your lion anim made me dizzy. (Seriously!)

  63. Monche! 🙂

  64. haw haw: peeps in the doodie

  65. dixieanne says:

    *are you wearing space pants? because your ass is outta this world!*

  66. Ariel — I am NOT ‘shopping THAT.

  67. “I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock!”

    Holey. Moley. I think a little bit of pee came out after I read that one.

  68. weasel_tea_party says:

    Tony James–the ones at the Seattle Aquarium are vandals. They break windows if they’re allowed rocks.

  69. “Wanna play Lion Tamer? You open your mouth and I stick my head inside…”

  70. Tony James says:

    Weasel – ah, so it’s the Secret Life of ASBO Otters? Do they wear hoodies?:)

  71. “ASBO Otters” in hoodies–that should be a comic.

  72. Aubrey says:

    TJ To The Max:

    I’m not really sure what the secret itinerary of the otter is. However; I have heard talk of a weapon that they’re developing, referred to as ‘Shock and Otter’.

  73. Tony James says:

    Aubrey – that was awful…why, for punning like that you otter be kicked off the board… 😉

  74. Aubrey says:

    HA. Look – I am normally a pun-tilious person; otterwise I would have abstained.

  75. ♥♥♥ l.d.c.h. ☺ ♥♥♥ says:

    (Yes, Thinker, I *work*) (sometimes)
    lollollollollololololololololololoololololololololololololol lololololololololololololololololololololololololololoololo lolololololololollolololololololololololol! zow! good one theo

  76. mcneca says:

    It’s the new trend in guide animals. They’ll make doubly sure you don’t walk in front of a car!

  77. “Tony James–the ones at the Seattle Aquarium are vandals. They break windows if they’re allowed rocks.”

    This has come up before – no disrespect intended, but ??? It doesn’t make sense to me.

  78. E.C. — it’s true. Otters are bad-asses.

  79. weasel_tea_party says:

    E.C.–The windows of the outdoor part of their exhibit are glass. They used to be given clams in the shell and rocks to open them, until they started chucking the rocks at the windows. Why? No clue. Possibly they threw them in other directions that didn’t break things, too.

  80. They’re bored!

  81. gimme my tay back!