Rule #16: Keep your eyes at the height of your nose *and* have a five-head, (large forehead) and make sure your body is as tall as your head.

Oh, and gingham.


Welcome to the Cuteologist listing, Esther 😉



  1. Not cute. Creepy.

  2. I concur.. creeps me out

  3. Michelle says:

    I’m thinking this lil bear might benefit from a hydrocephalic shunt.

  4. Isn’t that rule a little complicated?

  5. Anyone here seen Invader Zim? It used to be on Nickelodeon. Anyway, this thing reminds me of Gir, the pet “dog.”

  6. seems like I’m the only one, but I want this teddybear! 😀

  7. sadie_asher says:

    I agree with Pyro and Ralph — creepy.

    Bim bim bim bim bim.

  9. no i like him too!

  10. It is ADORABLE!!! There is no rule stating creepy can’t be cute. And yes, very much like Grr. [Doom doom doom DOOM doom doom doom DOOMDOOMdooooooom]

  11. I see where you’re going with this, but I’d have to agree that it’s a bit creepy.

  12. Yeah Mia and MLE, GIR is awesome! I miss my cupcake.

  13. theo, holy crap.
    i LOVE gregory, my friend even made me a fimo pin of him and herman in his cell.

    also, this is VERY cute, really

  14. she is perfect and is designed by use of the golden ratio

  15. No, that’s not cute. It’s a cheap toy that just looks wrong, like it has down syndrome or something.

  16. (Sing in a Chris Farley voice) “Little bear with a biiiig heaaaaaaad”…

  17. Usually I go “bah, soft toy, not interesting, where’s the cute animal” – but THIS teddy is so adorable! Extra super swell cute!!!

  18. Michelle–you took the thought out of my head! I was about to say the exact same thing!

    Yep, paint it green and put a zipper down the front. GIR is the kewlest! *trots off singing the DOOM song*


  19. Subhangi says:

    This is a toy that seems to have been made by slightly inexperienced hands (possibly a child’s), which explains the skewed proportions. That’s why it is so cute in its own way, because it carries part of the creator with it. Looks pretty sweet to me.

  20. All I can think is this is what Gir’s teddy would look like…


  21. Totally reminds me of gir with that giant head. Gir is fantastic! “i love then little tacos, i love them good”

  22. I wish I had a purple-and-lime-green house that got up on four legs and rampaged through town screaming “BUUUURIIIITOOOOOOS!!” *snicker*

    OK, we’re about to hijack this thread and turn it into a Zim Appreciation Site. I better lay off or Meg will have my head on a porcelain platter! 😉


  23. lordofthedead says:

    Actually you already have a Rule 16 on the “rules” page, this would be Rule 17. And it’s creepy!

  24. LotD — ah, but you see, this SUPERSEDES the old pathetic Rule #16 with is sheer majesty and grandeur! BOW DOWN, WORMS!

    or not. I guess it’s a teddy bear. In an apron.

  25. persimmontree says:

    there’s a fine line between “cute” and “creepy” most times, i find. i love things that manage to straddle the line!

  26. You see, the possum ruls WAS gonna be rule 16, but the possum was too cute. THIS is the REAL rule 16!

    What the heck is Zim appreciation? Enlighten me!


  27. E. Collison says:

    It’s cute. Get over it, people! 😉

  28. “Get over” cuteness? Wha??

  29. notnamed says:

    I’m afraid I’m going to have to start a First Reformed Church of Cuteology that rejects this Rule 16. This bear reminds me of Scrump, Lilo’s doll, from Lilo and Stitch.

  30. It’s like The Elephant Bear.

  31. demonluvr says:

    im kinda new here, but i have to agree, that is kinda on the really creepy side. im all for teddy bears and all, but that one just looks weird!

  32. Ponygirl says:

    Looks like she’s as likely to stab you in the back as she is to hug you. That sort of uncertainty is what makes her adorable.

  33. The Guy Over There says:

    Anyone else suddenly feel hungry for Pez?

  34. demonluvr says:

    reminds me of TRILOGY OF TERROR! something lurking under the bed, waiting to pounce on your unsuspecting ankles and attack you with a machete!!

  35. i see not cute people

  36. The Guy Over There says:

    I don’t think its asymmetry is helping in the argument either. Usually, when people think of malformed asymmetrical things, they think of extras from the set of “Deliverance.”

    “It shor look jus’ like my uncle & niece’s son, cus!

  37. well I heart this bear…and I dont think its creepy at all!

  38. “lets go to my room pig!” and
    “i’m gona roll around on the floor now, kay?” best. gir. quotes. ever. (well, after the taco ones)

  39. kinda weird–if it were giant we’d be running scared…
    [stomp] SQUEEEEAL
    [stomp] SQUEEEALL
    [chomp chomp chomp]

  40. JessJess says:

    Yea, creepy… *snuggles her teddy bear*

  41. Wow, that’s some freaky s***; but I’m sure even this bear is well-loved. Kinda reminds me of Stewie from “Family Guy” too.

  42. Hello? this is by far and away the MOST anerable teddy bear i have ever seen…

    except for:

    go to products then click on the diver bear for a closer look.

    i have one and he is called FLIPPY and he is the best bear you could ever want.

  43. I dig the pilot bear. Not this bear. He’s just… demonic. Like an evil, angry, hideous child. When its done posing for photos, it tortures the cuties that actually belong on this site! **shudder**

  44. Huuuuuuuge cranium. Cute gingham dress.

  45. You know, that bear needs a lil bitty banjo.

  46. are you mad?!?! april fool’s day is more than a week away!

    i’m surprised that this atrocity has even made it onto the site at all, much less have a cute rule attributed to its mutated appearance- its a very awkward and cumbersome rule at that. when there’s so many other much cuter things that could have cute rules instead, why this… this “thing”!?

  47. Does anyone remember Ultra-Peepi from Zim… yeah I know it was a giant Cutsiewootsyfluffynessismsyhamster but look at this bear (think of her huge and animated while taking out a city) and then Ultra-Peepi… I’m seeing some real similarity here.

    God I’m a geek… sorry

  48. you realize that rule applies to sloth of the goonies don’t you?

  49. I guess this rule is why Reese Witherspoon is considered cute.

  50. I keep coming back to stare at it, like my brain is being hypnotized by its freakazoid, wall-eyed stare and that pinhole mouth under its gargantuan nose… I’m leaving. be back tomorrow after a restless night’s sleep…

  51. Rachel, you’re right. We’re mad, all right, though we do prefer the more polite label “sick howling bloodthirsty sociopaths.”

    The whitecoats keep telling us to go to our happy place whenever silly people try & provoke us… so… here we are.

  52. so mean, can’t funny looking or ugly be cute?

  53. thats really not cute its disturbing and creepy …its like the workers at the teddy bear house lost their patterns for round teddy heads and improvised with a watermelon…not cool…interesting rule tho

  54. “it was ME! I was the turkey ALLLLL along! ME!”

    gir:I’m eatin’ mashed poe-tae-toes!
    zim: yees… with…muffins.

    I loooove gir

    The teddy bear is sorta cute but I prefer the animals, methinks

  55. I think its sad more than cute, and yes a little creepy. looks like a mentally handicapped bear which disturbs me.

  56. My fave quote (about GIR):

    Purple Tallest–“…it’s not stupid–it’s ADVAAANCED!”

    That bear inveded my nightmares and force-fed me granola last night…It stood over my chest in stiletto heels and screamed “I’M WHOLESOME AND ADORABLE, DAMN YOU! SAY IT! SAAAY IIIT!!”


  57. This bear’s name is Honey, and is actually a fabulous creation by Lynn Roberts, of the blog Molly Chicken.
    Lynn is a goddess of cute, and I adore her work!

    See her blog at :

    For more of the ultra-cuteness that is popular in Japan (and which Honey reminds me of) see the infinitely adorable work at Anano Cafe :

    This page has images from the Anano cafe book:


  58. Somebody. Buy. Me. This. Teddy.

  59. Creepy? No way! I love Molly Chicken’s stuff (including this cutie). It is very much a work of Japanese-inspired cuteness.

  60. Cute, sure, but not cute enough for an entire awkwardly-worded rule, though. Just my humble opinion.

  61. Crystanna says:

    Not cute, not cute AT ALL!

  62. This belongs in the “So Ugly, it’s Gotta Be Cute” genre.

  63. IMO this isn’t very cute. What are cute, are tiny tiny little balls of fluff. Maybe you should get a baby gorilla on here.

  64. I agree with Ann: Bring on the baby silverbacks!

  65. Hunter D. says:

    OMG, what is that- that- thing? It’s freaky! I have dreams about it (more like nightmares) and it looks even creepier. *shiver*

  66. woah! demented bear!

  67. this is soo not cute. It’s kinda freaky